New baby + MIL — The Bump
Babies: 0 - 3 Months

New baby + MIL

My mother in law and I have always had a great relationship. She fun and likable and I’ve always looked forward to spending time with her or talking to her on the phone. However, during the time I was pregnant it’s like something shifted. I found myself getting slightly annoyed every time she asked questions about how pregnancy was going. Now that our baby is here, I’ve found myself wanting to be around her less and less. 


My in laws got to see our son for a few days after we got back from the hospital before going back home (they live 6 hours away) but are coming back next week to stay for a few days and I find myself dreading it. When she was here last time she just wanted to hold the baby the entire time and would hardly share him with my mom or anyone else and almost begrudgingly would give him back to me or his dad. Every time he cried, she’d hover over us and try to take over. She freaked out when I tried filing his nails. She also kept trying to come in the room when I was breastfeeding which I wasn’t super comfy with. She’s constantly asking questions about how we’re doing, sleeping, how I’m recovering and acts surprised when I tell her things are going so well, almost as if she doesn’t believe me. When we talk to her on the phone, she constantly calls him “nana’s baby” (nana is her grandma name) and for some reason that irks me. I guess I feel like he’s MY baby, not hers. 


Why do I feel this way? I know that she loves him so much and I know in my heart I should be so happy, but for some reason I feel super possessive of my baby. How do I shift from dreading this visit and start looking forward to him getting to see his grandparents? 

Re: New baby + MIL

  • I’m curious if this feeling ever passed? I feel the same way about my MIL and I’ve talked to a coworker that said she felt the same…feeling possessive of her baby whenever anyone got got too close to her son. I hope that it does pass bc I’m typically easy-going but with my newborn I’m definitely on high-alert whenever people get too cozy with my baby and don’t want to put her down or share. Thanks for making this post!
  • I don't have any advice but I have the same feelings. I've talked to my SO about it and he understands (he doesn't feel the same but he gets where I am coming from). We literally were at my SO's parents for dinner two nights ago and she called him "my baby" and my SO said "he's not your baby". She let me use her bedroom to nurse and was in there almost the entire time talking to me and when I went to change his diaper, she kept taking things from me to do it herself... And she's always trying to take him and is like "don't worry he's ok" and I'm like I know he's ok, I still want to hold him myself pls and ty. I'm trying not to let my possessiveness be unreasonable but it's hard.
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  • Oh and my baby is only 5w and he's my first, so that's likely to do with it. I see a lot of first time moms having these feelings, but I'm sure it's not as bad with later kids. It's just our only baby, ya know?
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