Fiance's Friend Sends Him Pornographic Content

knottie4cce968270843dd5

Needing reassurance/advice here.  My fiance has a coworker/friend who is constantly sending him videos of naked women, women masturbating, doing other disgusting things... My fiance knows it peeves me off, that I'm extremely insecure, and not at all o.k. with him watching porn/looking at other naked women.  But he hides these messages from me and "haha" or "like" reacts them when his friend sends them to him. Maybe I'm being "insecure" or "unfair" here. But he's known that things like that bother me to the extreme, especially being physically insecure. But he says it's "stupid" every time I bring it up, then gives me the silent treatment. Only when I get upset about it will my fiance offer to "fix the problem" and delete this friend of his--but never follows through. Am I "stupid" or "unfair" for bringing this up and letting it bother me?

corb888

Absolutely NOT! If he really wants to be your fiancé needs to figure it out. My husband and I were married a little over a year and I just happened come across some porn websites on accident he had been watching. I was completely hurt still being fairly newly weds that he would do that. I actually threatened to divorce him and he had to pick me or that. He never has done it since. We've been married 5 years now and have a son.

nicademus20

I so much feel for you! As I read both the above comments it felt like it could've been the same written by me. 
That is the most hurtful thing--he knows it hurts you, and yet continues to do it. 
When I have brought up very similar arguments, I was brushed off as insecure, it's my problem, and to get over it. 
I blank on writing advice, as this is still in the relationship, but do take comfort that somewhere there must be love as he is willing to marry you. 
Sometimes I have had to ask myself "What matters more--that he looks at that smut and pisses me off and that by comparison I may always be a disappointment to him, or that he's with me so I must be at least something that he's willing to see naked?" 
I know the insecurity very, very well. It is difficult to not feel insecure when the man you love would look at that, but it must mean something that on some level he's with you. 
That is what I keep being told by therapists, social workers, etc. So try to think of it too.