Azoospermia - 1st trimester = psycho....

retromental

My title is slightly tounge in cheek yet also serious.... 

So. I am male, 42 and have never got anyone pregnant! 2 years back I decided to investigate this and 3 seman tests show no sperm whatsoever!

I met a woman, we dated and started seeing each other. We talked about the situation but we had unprotected sex

Skip forward to new year! We've been together 9 months and she tells me she's pregnant

She was so angry that I had done this to her.... After a few days and some therapy she tells me she's going to keep the child!

She then tells me she doesn't want to lose me but doesn't want to be with me romantically which is hard! I've wanted a child for years....

She's angry at the hospital for giving me results that she says we're wrong. I went there today and they said the tests were right... And maybe repeat them. 

I am in such a muddle at the moment. She's scared of miscarage and I want her to be safe but I don't want to be a single father! I wanted a family! At the same time the hospital have advised it may not be mine... She's advised I sue the hospital!

Any guys with azoospermia?

Will she be different in 2nd trimester?? 

wishiwaspreggo

I know very little about azoospermia... but based on my understanding of the condition, if you had 3 samples tested and they yielded zero sperm, I can't imagine how you got her pregnant yourself... Unless there were just a handful in your ejaculate and the mightiest swimmer made it.

Anyway, you can't force her to be in a relationship with you but you can be supportive and involved. It's ultimately her choice if she wants to stay with you and raise a baby with you. But you should be able to get partial custody and help raise the baby regardless of whether you're romantically involved or not.

Congrats on becoming a father, I think? Sounds like a sticky situation. Hope it works out in the end.

harpseal135

retromental said:

My title is slightly tounge in cheek yet also serious.... 

So. I am male, 42 and have never got anyone pregnant! 2 years back I decided to investigate this and 3 seman tests show no sperm whatsoever!

I met a woman, we dated and started seeing each other. We talked about the situation but we had unprotected sex

Skip forward to new year! We've been together 9 months and she tells me she's pregnant

She was so angry that I had done this to her.... After a few days and some therapy she tells me she's going to keep the child!

She then tells me she doesn't want to lose me but doesn't want to be with me romantically which is hard! I've wanted a child for years....

She's angry at the hospital for giving me results that she says we're wrong. I went there today and they said the tests were right... And maybe repeat them. 

I am in such a muddle at the moment. She's scared of miscarage and I want her to be safe but I don't want to be a single father! I wanted a family! At the same time the hospital have advised it may not be mine... She's advised I sue the hospital!

Any guys with azoospermia?

Will she be different in 2nd trimester?? 

Honestly, I would ask for a DNA test after baby is born, so you know for sure it is yours and there wasnt an other partner involved. 

You can not sue the hospital, as even if you were tested and were told you have this condition,  it doesnt mean that it's completely 100% impossible. 

stassischroeder

retromental said:

My title is slightly tounge in cheek yet also serious.... 

So. I am male, 42 and have never got anyone pregnant! 2 years back I decided to investigate this and 3 seman tests show no sperm whatsoever!

I met a woman, we dated and started seeing each other. We talked about the situation but we had unprotected sex

Skip forward to new year! We've been together 9 months and she tells me she's pregnant

She was so angry that I had done this to her.... After a few days and some therapy she tells me she's going to keep the child!

She then tells me she doesn't want to lose me but doesn't want to be with me romantically which is hard! I've wanted a child for years....

She's angry at the hospital for giving me results that she says we're wrong. I went there today and they said the tests were right... And maybe repeat them. 

I am in such a muddle at the moment. She's scared of miscarage and I want her to be safe but I don't want to be a single father! I wanted a family! At the same time the hospital have advised it may not be mine... She's advised I sue the hospital!

Any guys with azoospermia?

Will she be different in 2nd trimester?? 

+1 to having a paternity test done.

Also, why would you be a single father? Sounds like you'll be in a co-parenting situation if the child turns out to be yours. 

And this is understandably a shock to you both, but it doesn't make her psycho. 

retromental

She's definitely not psycho.... That was slight tongue in cheek due to her roller-coaster of emotions

But thank you for your response 

[Deleted User]

OP - Azoospermia doesn't just "go away."

Either you're in complete denial, or you're just FOS.  Why would you be angry that YOU did "this" to her?  That doesn't even make sense.

After three zero-sperm SAs, were you diagnosed with obstructive, or NOA?  How are you supposing you were magically cured?  If you have any ideas, please let me know, as I would love <i>nothing</i> more than to restore my Hs natural fertility.

If you're happy to co-parent with your cheating gf, then go for it!  Don't let any of us stop you!  But she's probably just acting crazy because she knows she cheated and thinks you may be decent enough to stick around, but she's scared somehow your bubble will burst that it's not actually your kid, and you will leave.  Just call her out on it and see if that helps.

"Babe, I love you.  I don't care that you cheated, as long as it's still not going on, and it was a stupid mistake, it doesn't matter.  I'm just happy to be a father, and I'm here for you and our kid."  Something to that effect.  May or may not help the crazy if she doesn't feel like she has this huge secret to hide from you.  But who knows!??  Maybe she's just a wacko. GL

ruby696

@BusinessWife

m6agua

^^ Diddo!

capnjackharkness

@BusinessWife

I so wanted to tag you on this thread to hear your input, but was also like, NO I should not be such a creep... But I am SOOOO glad you weighed in!!!!!!

[Deleted User]

Awww @capnjackharkness @m6agua @ruby696 
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/zv/02pvpczy9y5q.gif" alt="">
Yeah, I mean, I'll be honest, when I first read it, I kinda had to just back away.  But the longer I sat with it, the more I had to say SOMETHING.  Ughh.  As much as I feel like it's most likely MUD. 🤷 Whtvr. Lol