Birth Stories (Possible TW) — The Bump
June 2020 Moms

Birth Stories (Possible TW)

Stolen in Part from May:
Here is a place for us to share our birth stories (any and all) with as much or as little detail as you want. For FTMs, it can be incredibly helpful to hear stories as labor can go so differently depending on the person.

Be warned that this post may have some triggering stories. Also note that everyone is different and every birth is different. One persons experience has no bearing on your own. Everyone chooses to give birth differently-please be respectful of others choices and circumstances without judging the ones that led to the birth they ultimately had. 

If you really like reading or listening to birth stories I highly recommend The Birth Hour podcast as well.

Married: 12/19/15         

BFP: 9/4/17             
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications

BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
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Re: Birth Stories (Possible TW)

  • My story is not particularly exciting, but I will share in an effort to offset some of the crazier/scarier experiences that other moms will be sharing. 

    I was induced 10 days early because my son had quit growing in utero. I had been labeled as “small for gestational age (SGA)” since my anatomy scan, and they ultimately diagnosed my son with IUGR. I happily agreed to an induction since they thought my son would thrive once he was out and nursing. 

    I checked into the hospital late on a Tuesday night and they hooked me up to monitors and started IV Cervadril to thin my cervix overnight. There was one scare where baby’s heartbeat dropped and they put an oxygen mask on me, but otherwise all went smoothly. 

    At 7:30, my OB came in to check me and broke my water to get things going. She said I was 2 cm dilated and we’d probably have a baby late afternoon or early evening if things went as expected. I planned to get an epidural, but I told them I would hold off until I felt I needed it to manage pain. 

    By 8:30 I was begging for an epidural. The contractions came on hard and fast. Unfortunately, the anesthesiologist was in a c-section, so I had to wait for her until about 9:15. That 45 minutes gave me A LOT of respect for you ladies that choose to have an unmedicated birth! The epidural had fully kicked in about 15 minutes later. 

    Around 11, the nurse came into check me, and much to all of our surprise, baby was crowning. They literally held him in while my OB came back to the hospital. I pushed 3-5 times and baby boy was born at 11:13 at a healthy 6 lbs 6 oz!

    I was so worried about induction because of the horror stories I’d heard, but obviously I had a positive experience and will gladly do it again if recommended for health reasons. Because my first labor went so fast, I’ve been told to get to the hospital ASAP if my water breaks at home this time around. 

    I was released from the hospital the following afternoon and had no post-delivery complications and very little pain. I actually asked the nurse if there was some residual effect of the epidural because I was expecting to be in pain after delivery, but she just said I was very lucky and not to brag too much to my friends lol. 

    Wishing all of you ladies (and myself) a similarly fast and uncomplicated birth experience!
    chaos-and-coffeekyrwynmariabele
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  • My midwife was happy with me going to 42 weeks before being induced, which is pretty standard in the UK. I made it to 41 +3 without anything happening. My dad has flown in from the US as he booked his flights assuming I’d definitely have given birth by them aha.

    We had pesto spaghetti for dinner and watched a movie. I felt contractions but they weren’t anything crazy. Got in bed and POP- my water broke. This was around 11pm. I went to the hospital and they examined me and my contractions started coming hard and FAST. And so much water was coming out. A midwife told me they were going to admit me then as I was going to have a baby by that morning.

    My doula showed up and I labored without any pain meds. Eventually got in the birthing pool which was okay but I was still in all the pain. Got examined at 9am and I was at 3cm. I wanted to cry. My contractions weren’t long enough to get things moving. 

    They left me for a bit and around 11am suggested we leave and get lunch!!! I almost punched them. I literally was screaming in pain. As a middle ground I agreed to take a walk. I literally was screaming on a busy street in London as I looked the hospital. Got back and they have me diamorphine as that was the only drug the midwife led unit could administer. That was pretty great. It gave me relief for like 5 hours. 

    Once it wore off they told I have 4 hours until they had to transfer me to the doctor led ward as I’d need pitocin to get things moving (I was on a clock with my water breaking first). At this point I realised I hadn’t peed in HOURS. I tried to go and couldn’t. They had to give me a catheter and I filled two bowls with urine. Which meant I had to go to the doctor ward as my bladder was under duress. I was so happy as it meant EPIDURAL!!!

    I got up there- they gave me my epidural and examined me after. I was 8cm!! The midwife there was pissed off at the midwife led unit one as they had told them I hadn’t progressed at all. I chilled pain free but then I got a fever. So I was administered with an medical drip.

    Came time to push. Pushed for 2 hours and DD kept hitting my hip. A doctor came in to do ventouse and they told me they might have to cut me and they wouldn’t have time to ask. Great. They ended up cutting me and DD came out. The doctor told me she took her vagina sewing very seriously and i think she did a good job aha. This was around 37 hours since I started with ZERO sleep. 

    Then the fun truly began because not only did i have an infection but DD had a bad one and needed a lumbar puncture when she was 2 days old and to go in a jaundice incubator. We ended up staying in the hospital for a week. Initially in the 4 bed shared ward the NHS puts women in. That was awful and I literally had a breakdown so they prioritised me for one of the private rooms, which made my stay at LOT better.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    chaos-and-coffeekyrwynErikandAftonmariabele
  • So I'm going to preface this by saying I tend to tell my birth story in a very clinical fashion because this is where I work and what I do on a daily basis so it tends to come out more clinical than personal sometimes. 

    First off my birth plan was labor at home, go to hospital, be 9-10cm, push out baby without epidural or intervention...now for the actual story...

    I had a super uneventful pregnancy until 34+5wks. At 34 wks my BP was elevated but otherwise OK. They drew some labs and sent me with a 24 hour urine to return at 35+2.  I went in that Monday my BP was still high and baby was reassuring but non reactive on the monitor so inwent to L&D triage for more monitoring.  I also had a headache now at this point.  My OB offered for me to be admitted to antepartum that night or go home and she would call with results which is what I chose to do.  The next morning she called because my labs were elevated and I was admitted to antepartum or pre-eclampsia with plans to induce on Saturday when I was 36wks.  All was well till Thursday morning when all of a sudden i got the worst headache i have ever had in my entire life, I thought my head would actually explode.  Well that bumped my induction up to now...i got IV pain medicine for my head and they placed a Foley bulb to start dilating my cervix.  All was good (other than I felt like CRAP) until the following morning.  They started pitocin at 5am, at 830 she came and broke my water, at 930 I not so nicely requested my epidural with a few F-bombs due to terrible nausea with contractions, not the pain.  When the epidural was placed DS heartrate dropped for 8 minutes and I got, oxygen, extra fluids, piticin off (and never restarted) turned like a rotisserie chicken, etc.  It came back up and they placed an electrode on his head to better monitor his heartrate. Then it continued to drop with contractions so I got another internal monitor to monitor c ok contractions and infuse fluids back into the uterus.  All was well (again other than I still felt like crap) until about 2pm when his heartrate started dropping again and was getting lower and lasting longer with almost every contraction.  They are turning me this way and that just trying to give my body time to get to complete (I was 7cm/100%effaced/0 station)  well at 315 my OB came in and had the csection talk and i was like if that is what you think is best (i have not been looking at the FHR tracing and she told me I was being too reasonable *love her so much*) she said one more drop and we are done.  Well next contraction it dropped and we went.  I then looked at the monitor for the first time and started disconnecting my own IVs and monitors. DS was born at 332 healthy but tiny at 5lb1oz. 
    He breast fed like a champ from day 1 and my recovery and PP period was sooo easy.  The only thing that sucked was I had to go back to midwifery clinical when he was 15 days old because I didnt get to heavy load my clinical in the first of the semester like I had planned.  
    I did get my FHR tracing from medical records later to see what it looked like and it was bad, we 110% made the right call when we made it.  

    Me: 25
    DH: 25
    Married 5/21/2011
    Started TTC: 9/17/2012
    Dx: PCOS
    BFP: 1/17/2015
    DS: 8/28/2015 at 35 weeks 6 days
    kyrwynErikandAftonmariabele
  • Non-eventful induction/medicated birth story here!

    After noticing some decreased fetal movement on Friday night and Saturday morning, I called my midwives around noon on Saturday 9/9 and was advised to head to L&D for some monitoring. Since I was already 4 days past my due date and the fetal monitoring showed I was having non-painful contractions, they decided to admit me and start induction.

    The plan was to start cervidil to soften the cervix over 12 hours, then administer pitocin, but after some continued monitoring, they found I was having contractions too close together to even place the insert. At this point though, I couldn’t even feel the contractions. So instead of cervidil, I walked around the hospital hallways for an hour or so to try and kick start the contractions. At 4pm, I was 2 cm dilated and 70% efface, and we started the pitocin drip. After 6 hours of increasing doses of pitocin, I still hadn’t dilated past 2cm so my midwife inserted a foley bulb with a morphine drip since contractions were a minute apart at that point and getting painful. The morphine helped me sleep for a few hours. Next time I was checked on, I had dilated to 5cm. Epidural time!  Painless insertion, almost immediate relief but only on my right side. I could still feel contractions on my left side, however. This went away after the test dose was increased and I rolled to my left side to redistribute the medicine. I could move my left leg during delivery but my right leg was totally numb.

    I was able to sleep a bit more after the epidural, maybe 3-4 hours. At 3:30am, I woke up with the urge to go to the bathroom and called in a nurse. My midwife checked me and found that I was 10 cm dilated and it was time to push! We got in position and my husband (who had been sleeping through everything up until now!) held my right leg. I could still feel the pressure of the contractions but not the pain so I knew when I needed to push. The nurses and my midwife were incredibly encouraging, telling me how good I was doing. Baby was born at 4:10am after about 40 minutes of pushing with a small, first-degree tear. He weighed 8lbs 4 ounces and was 21 inches long. Instantly fell in love with his sweet face and barely paid any attention to the placenta delivery or stitching.

    BabyFruit Ticker
    kyrwynErikandAftonmariabele
  • I have one of the scarier stories. So I’m going to go ahead and TW this whole post. 

    We found out I had Lupus at about 20 weeks pregnant after some weird blood tests (the first time in my life I’d ever had blood tests). Since it’s a disease where the most effective medications take a long time to work, although I started them right away, we didn’t see results for 6-8 months. The biggest immediate concern was my platelets which started at a 90 and dropped steadily to 40 at 35 weeks (normal is 150-300, anything below 50 is considered dangerous) At this point they put me on steroids to up my count, keep it high, and induced me at 39w before the effects wore off. 

    I started about 9 pm with Cytotec (similar to cervadil) and did three doses of that. They manually dilated me at that point to get a foley bulb in and started the pitocin around 9 am the next morning. I labored all day with the foley bulb and pitocin and had really intense pitocin contractions with double peaks but they were anywhere from 1-7 minutes apart. At 5 pm the doctor pulled really hard and got the foley bulb out but I was only a Foley two which means I had barely dilated all day. This is the only time in my labor I disagree with the doctors choice (I went in pretty informed) but he was going off call and broke my water thinking that would kickstart it without asking. Just made contractions worse but still double peaked and irregular. 

    I stayed at 2 cm with pitocin contractions 3-6 minutes apart and double peaked until 3 am when the oncall resident talked to my doctor and they put another foley bulb in since obviously the other one hadn’t done it’s job. At this point I finally got the epidural and I’m so so glad I did for that moment of relief and for later. I got to sleep for the first time in 48 hours. That foley bulb stayed in til 9 am and then popped out easily as my contractions FINALLY regulated and I was a 4! I cried so hard at this point. I’d already been on pitocin 24 hours. 

    I still was having weird contractions but I couldn’t feel them anymore so I napped and we watched some shows. I progressed slow at first and then went four cm in an hour to a 10 to get to push around 4:30 pm. DD was doing okay but at this point her heart rate was starting to show signs of distress and there was meconium in the water leaking out now so we had a NICU team come in plus extra nurses for me and a whole resident team for the MFMs. It was packed! 

    I ended up pushing only 3 or 4 times but DDs heartrate was so scary they told me before the last push I had to get her out on that time. After a 45 hour induction, I was not about to go into a csection if there was a chance, so I got her out. She was okay and after about 5 minutes she got to go to my husband. 

    Unfortunately this is where the really  scary stuff starts. I started hemorrhaging and my placenta didn’t come out. I have very vague memories of that first half hour after she was born. I mostly remember shaking uncontrollably and how cold the pitocin felt when they ran both lines open. I later learned that I hemorrhaged, they couldnt stop it so they did a manual extraction of the placenta, put in a Bakri, stitched up a bad cervical tear and the episiotomy they ended up giving me and then kept me on the ward under their care for 24 hours. Thank God for modern medicine because I wouldn’t have made it. DD and I ended up both being okay after a few hours and she breastfed like a champ right away. 

    Unfortunately, because of all the trauma at delivery, some placenta was left behind. I had active bleeding for 6 weeks (which I now know isn’t normal but didn’t at the time). They ended up having to do a D&C at 6w pp but my lupus caused a lot of scary complications leading to two more surgeries, several more hemorrhages, and a very near hysterectomy. I don’t plan on going into that here as theres a lot of PTSD but if you have active, red bleeding after 3 weeks get it checked out as it’s not normal. 

    In the end, I don’t regret the way DD was born because Sometimes things just are out of your control. But I’m avoiding that doctor who broke my water this time. For all the scary, I love being a mom. I’m so blessed to be carrying this second baby. And we know so much more going in this time. I’m hoping this time will be smoother, calmer, and we’re more prepared. I chose this with my eyes wide open. Birthing babes takes courage mamas. 

    Married: 12/19/15         

    BFP: 9/4/17             
    EDD: 5/16/18
    DD born 5/10/18
    Postpartum Complications

    BFP: 10/1/19
    EDD: 6/12/20
    ErikandAftonmariabelechaos-and-coffee
  • I had gestational diabetes in my first pregnancy as well. I was well managed by diet and exercise during the day, but on insulin at night for my fasting -- just like this pregnancy so far. At 38 weeks at an NST, my BP was a little high and the amniotic fluid measure was low so I was sent to the hospital to be induced.  My OB waved at me as we left the office and left on his two week vacation. Super timing.

    My baby hadn't dropped in preparation for birth and I was so not-effaced that it wasn't worth giving me any measurements about it.  My body absolutely wasn't ready for delivery, but it was happening anyway. My birth plan had included, in order of priority: a) everyone healthy at the other side, b) retain as much movement opportunity for as long as possible, and c) don't get pushed into pain meds unless I agreed I was ready for them. I had no strong feelings about being unmedicated, but I didn't want to be lashed to an IV and stuck in bed from the get go. I don't do well with pain when I can't move through it.

    Because I'd been on insulin AT ALL during my pregnancy, I had to go on an IV at admit and a diabetic protocol where they pushed a sugar substrate and an insulin dose to actively manage my blood sugars at all time. This meant testing my blood sugar every hour -- that's when the bilingual swearing started, I was thrilled at the extra finger sticks & IV -- and making adjustments. My sugars were 20% higher in the hospital than they'd ever been managed at home, and the IV had three lines taped up my arm to within about 2 inches from where the BP cuff was at all times.  I had to ask a nurse to disentangle me if I needed to pee and couldn't go more than about 18" from the side of my bed without running out of lead. So much for my plan.

    I was given Cytotec around 8pm to "ripen" my cervix, and this is where the trouble starts. They told me to rest for a couple hours and then they'd place another dose and probably by morning I'd be ready for pitocin. By 9pm I had back to back contractions (no space between them).  By 930, they'd gotten intense enough that my BP rose during the peaks and went back to normal in the short-lived "troughs."  I couldn't take a second dose until this back to back contraction business let up around 2am.  Somewhere in there the "remote" monitors stopped working, so I had to go on corded ones and could now go only about 6" from my bed.  About half an hour after my second dose was placed my water broke and contractions went from livable to extremely painful.  There was no "breathing through" them and they were back to back again.  I was at about 1 cm.  I did my best to be quiet through some of the night so that DH could sleep a bit, and then I told the nurse I needed some meds. But I was scared that an epidural would slow down my already agonizingly slow progress, so I put that off for longer.

    I got fentanyl at 430 or 5 (time gets hazy here for me) and it blunted maybe half of a contraction. Baby's heartbeat dropped off the monitor a few minutes later and my room was suddenly full of people. They rolled me on my side, pushed on my belly, gave me oxygen and inverted my bed so that my head was down ... which made my BP rise so we had the second loud argument about whether they were going to put me on BP meds. They attached the electrode monitor to baby's head, and told me he "wasn't tolerating labor very well."  We tried another round of fentanyl with the same results.  By then it was 7 am, and eventually a new OB rounded with some choice words for our care team and told me that having an epidural wasn't going to slow any of this down since I'd managed to get to 1.5 centimeters after 10+ hours. 

    The epidural helped enough that I could actually breathe normally and relax a little bit for the first time in hours.  But baby didn't tolerate that well either, and I never progressed past 1.5 cm, and there were a lot of people constantly running in and out, turning my bed up and down, putting the oxygen mask on me and taking it off again, etc.  DH was white as a sheet and barely hanging in there at this point.  Baby and I weren't stable enough to try pitocin at any point, so I wasn't likely to progress either.  We had the C-section talk at 11am and my son was born at 1147. One of the doctors in the theater, bless them, said "don't you dare take that little boy out of this room without showing him to his mama!" and that's the only reason I saw my baby before recovery since he and DH were whisked out of the room a moment later. 

    My BP and glucose was stable and normal within 10 min of getting to recovery. I got to ditch two of the three IV lines, and got to hold my tiny (5lb13oz) baby for a little bit.  That was the longest stretch I got to hold him in the hospital. :(

    He was jaundiced and had to be under the bilirubin lights. He was also born with no suckle response, so we had a team of 5-6 lactation consultants and nurses in our room every time we tried to feed him. My milk hadn't come in (and ultimately never would), so there was endless boob smooshing, and "hamburger" making, and discussion of latches, while we fed our baby with a tiny tube and syringe after teaching him to suckle his dad's finger.  He lost too much weight in the first two days and was half an oz away from going to NICU when he finally started eating -- mostly donor milk and whatever few teaspoons I could express and catch. Even though I was cleared to go home after two days (my c-section scar healed nigh miraculously fast according to the OB), we stayed until our insurance ran out because otherwise we wouldn't have been able to bring him home with us. 

    Within an hour of coming home with my son, my mom (who I'd always been close with) disowned me.  Not L&D related, but definitely contributed to my whole "birth story" feelings. 

    There were a lot of discharge orders for my son, especially since we were getting sent home with donor milk and had to make a 24 hour weight check to see if he could stay at home. In the shuffle, my discharge orders got screwed up. I was given the narcotic painkiller, but not the information about rotating it with NSAIDs or all of the constipation-management information and meds. I ended up in urgent care a week after delivery, in excruciating pain and at the end of my medication, looking like a pill seeker until I finally convinced the UC doc to look up my discharge chart.  It took me about two weeks to get my pain management and my GI tract sorted out -- pro-tip: painkiller withdrawals are no fun post partum. Also, making sure you're pooping is a super high priority!

    I tried everything I could to breastfeed except the medicine you have to buy off the internet from another country -- because that one has an increased risk of PPD/PPA and I was already highly at risk. I made myself crazy. I'm that mythical 2% for whom it just won't work out.  At seven weeks pp I stopped trying to pump, and we switched completely to formula. It was better for me, for my baby, and for my family. My son started gaining weight faster. He finally made it back onto a growth curve (he was below 1% for a long while). 

    My OB and I had a serious talk about how my labor & delivery went at my most recent appointment. I don't want to risk being induced again, and the constraints in labor that being insulin-managed introduced made that whole process harder than it needed to be. He agreed that I'm not a good candidate for being medically induced again, and is happy to schedule a section instead. I'm planning to repeat-C because I really don't think I could face that process again in hopes of a successful VBAC. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
    pourmeanothermocktailErikandAftonmariabelechaos-and-coffee
  • I was convinced I would go into labor early because I started dilating at Halloween and wasn't due until Thanksgiving day. Ds had other plans and I made it to 41+4 before my Dr wouldn't let me wait any longer. My placenta was starting to not function and we were out of time. I had no desire to be induced but healthy baby was my top priority. 

    We went in Sunday night to start cervadil. After it was inserted I was trying to get comfortable in bed to rest and realized I was leaking. My water had broken. Induction medicine and a broken water sent me into a pretty intense labor. I asked for an epidural at only 3 cm when my original plan was to wait as long as I could. About ten minutes later I was already at 5 cm. The epidural kicked in and was absolutely amazing. I never progressed past 7 cm so we started pitocin.

    Ds starting having heart decelerations with each contraction so we stopped pitocin. Even after giving him a break and restarting, his heart was decelerating with every contraction. I was about 15 hours into labor at this point and still at 7 cm. We had the c section talk. I cried as this was my biggest fear going in to induction. As the words OK came out of my mouth, the Dr was getting into scrubs, my husband was in scrubs. It all happened so fast. We were rushed into surgery. Ds was born shortly after 8lb3oz and 21".

    While they were stitching me up I got extremely nauseous and was dry heaving into a wash basin while dh and ds left the room. I don't really remember the first day and a half or my son being born. I had a really hard time with the memory gap but spoke with my November 18 mom's one of which had a similar section experience. I wish I had read more on c sections. I am a fit person and had no doubt I'd be able to labor just fine. What matters most is we are both OK, but I am really hoping for a vbac this go around. I'm also more prepared if it doesn't work out. 
    ErikandAftonmariabelekyrwyn
  • Ds is my rainbow baby. We lost a baby during to a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks in November 2015

    I was due December 21st 2016. At my 39 week appointment my membranes were stripped and my OB told me she would be surprised if she saw me the following week, I was 2cm at this appointment. At 40 weeks Dh went with me and we discussed options. He's employed in a different state that doesn't have leave like California does for Dads. He basically got told he had to use all his leave before the end of the year. We told my OB this on the 21st and she agreed to induce at 41 weeks if DS didnt come before. We stripped my membranes a second time and was still at 2cm. Dh and I went home and started walking 2 miles a day. I would have contractions while walking but as soon as we got home they would stop. On the 27th my dear friend came to visit and I was having major back pain.

    On the 28th I went in at 330 to be induced. When I checked in they took me back and the nurse got me hooked up to an IV even though my plan had been to stay off one as long as possible. The IV was put in right at my wrist below my thumb on my right hand. It was awful. I couldn't put weight on my hand because it was so bad. Dh had to pull me up any time I needed to go to the bathroom. Because of how badly my wrist hurt and how rude the nurse was I had a high BP reading (I had had a few over the last few weeks but whenever they double checked they were back down, and my blood work and 24 hour catch were all clear). They ran more blood work, but it wasnt ever recorded. This lead to my IV not being removed until right before I was discharged because I had pre-eclampsia even though I didnt actually( this was cleared up later on, and my husband was furious because every reading was low besides the very first one). 

    About 530 the midwife finally was able to come see me and decided to give a half dose of mesopropal. I was a stretchy 2 at this point. They told me I could order dinner or Dh could go get me something but they wanted me to eat. I started having little contractions around 730 and the new nurse was so nice! Dh and I just hung out and talked. It was nice. Around 930 I was feeling them more and more. At 1030 they checked and decided I was having too many contractions to get any more mesopropal. So they just let me go. I sat on my ball a bit and Dh rubbed my back. For some reason I didnt like the idea of leaving the room even though that was my plan. I think it was that stupid in my wrist IV. Anyways I walked and swayed with Dh. At some point he fell asleep. Around midnight or so I needed some relief so the nurse helped me get in the shower. I sat there for an hour with hot water running on my back and belly it was glorious. Around 3 or so I asked for something to help me sleep, they gave me benadryl and let me go off monitors for 2 hours. Right around 530 the nurse came in to put me back on the monitors and I felt this really hot gush. I told her either my water broke or theres a lot of blood. She laughed and said it was my water. She checked and I was at a 5 and contractions were still super strong. She got me all cleaned up and comfy and said if I wanted an epidural that now was the time as my contractions were really close and it was going to get closer. I decided to go ahead and get one. We didnt have to wait long. We called my Dad to come over. I should have never called and asked them to come. I should have slept. The epidural worked great except I could move my left leg out but not in. At some point my sweet nurse kicked everyone out. Ds was super high and they just wanted me to rest. I think it was around 11 am that I started pushing. The nurse told me at one point she wished I was on pitocin because she could have turned it down. My contractions were back to back. No breaks. At one point when the midwife touched Leif's head his heart rate dropped but came right back up. So she decided not to touch him and just let me go. We didnt have another dip. He was born at 117pm. I had a 2nd degree tear and stitches but otherwise everything was great. We were released around noon the next day. 
    <img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7029/6601556315_c7eef30c01_m.jpg" width=150>
    7/75
    [IMG]http://i40.tinypic.com/33wa5xg.jpg[/IMG]
    mariabelekyrwyn
  • Ok, so I'm going to do two separate comments here, one for each story, and part of the this one is going in a spoiler. It's...heavy.

    Ok, so here's story for my oldest. Specific trigger warnings - preemies, surgeries, abuse

    And sorry, super long. I'm not good at condensing.

    Gotta start partway through pregnancy here. Around 19 weeks I started being about to feel baby move, started feeling braxton hicks pretty frequently, and got my anatomy scan. Baby was transverse - perfectly normal at that stage. I was planning an out of hospital birth center birth in Florida.

    My next appointment was at 23 weeks, and by then both myself and my midwives could definitely tell that baby had switched to breech, we could feel the head right up under my ribs. We weren't worried at that point, so much time to move, like everyone told me. Found out about then that we might have to move back to Illinois. Where there is only one out of hospital birth center. 

    27 weeks I knew for sure we were going to have to move and right at 30 weeks, and I had my first round of too frequent BH. I was having them every 10 min for 4 hours. I was told drinking more water would help. That was about it. I was also suggested to take papaya fruit extract for my heartburn. As much as I wanted - it's a food, not a drug, so take a ton. Baby still breech. They told me there was a vaginal breech doctor available locally if baby didn't turn and an ECV (manual turning from outside) didn't work.

    At 29 weeks, it was happening at least once a day. I learned that peeing more frequently, keeping my bladder as empty as possible helped slow down the contractions. I asked whether I should be going to limited activity, pelvic rest, bed rest, something. I was told to just drink more water, pee more. Tried to make an appointment in Illinois with the midwives at the Illinois birth center, just set it up to go the week I arrived. They didn't want to. Baby still breech.

    At 30 weeks I got to drive up from central Florida to Northern Illinois. Not recommended. So many pee stops. So much discomfort. 

    Met with midwives finally at 31 weeks. I brought up my concerns about the constant contractions (now 6-8 hours per day, at more than 6 an hour). Baby still breech. They told me to see a chiropractor, don't worry about anything, baby will flip. I asked about vaginal breech. They told me not to worry, baby will flip, or I'll have an ECV, and there are no doctors who do vaginal breech for FTM anyway.

    Started seeing the chiro, doing acupuncture twice per week, per my newly hired doula's suggestion. Tried out moxibustion, and did some sifting with my doula as well. 

    32 weeks I went in to local hospital (birth center and their affiliated hospital was 90 minutes from our home) L & D as my BH were 7 min apart for over an hour. They told me I was dehydrated, gave me fluids, and sent me home, telling me I was fine. Called midwives, everyone told me everything was fine, totally normal, nothing to worry about, etc. I reminded everyone that my mom had been born at 35 weeks, I was born at 35 weeks, I was worried. They told me to relax. 

    34 weeks I was really worried, 12-16 hour per day timeable contractions, baby still breech, frank breech. literally hadn't moved since 23 weeks, stubbornly in the same position. We had finished our birthing classes luckily. I was just told again don't worry. I asked about doing the ECV early with my constant contractions and still breech. They said they won't do it before 37 weeks, because it might break my water and cause need for immediate delivery.

    35+1 I lost some mucous plug. Told midwife, was told that was fine. I asked if I should stop running, stop having sex, etc.. 35+4 we had sex that night. Woke up at 35+5, Contractions started at 8 am while I was getting oil changed in the car. Seemed slightly stronger than normal, but hard to say, been doing it for weeks now. It wasn't until I got home around 10 am that I was sure I needed to do something about it. I drank literally a gallon of water over the next hour, had lunch, laid down and called midwife. She told me to call back in an hour. So I did and nothing had changed. She told me to come in, but I told her if she didn't want me to drive myself, I'd have to wait until my husband got home, it's an hour drive for him. Then a 90 minute drive in. Which she wasn't worried about, but she wanted me to get checked out at the local hospital to the birth center. Birth center couldn't take me until 37 weeks, but the midwives that attend there can attend at the hospital as well. It took a while to get a hold of my husband - had to call two of his coworkers and have one of them physically walk to his desk as he wasn't answering. To shorten it, it was 7 pm by the time we got to the hospital (Chicago rush hour was NO joke, and we almost got hit by a flying tire that came off a truck on the way). 

    I was put into a waiting room even after checking in and telling me I was worried I was in pre-term labor. We sat there for an hour. Finally got into the L&D triage room, they checked me, 4 cm, bulging bag, probably labor. I asked if they would try to stop things, they said it was too late to do that. I asked about steroid shots for lungs, they told me they wouldn't work because would be here too soon. I asked about an ECV, now that I was in labor, and they told me they couldn't because it might progress things and cause true labor....which totally confused me. I was both too far along and not far along enough. They told me I was probably dehydrated, asked for a sample. It was literally clear. They never took the sample. They told me that they'd check on me in an hour to see if I was actually in labor. Just sent in a nurse to do an IV, without telling me why I needed one. I asked if she was prepping me for a c-section. She said yes, but I told her I hadn't consented to one, I wanted an ECV. 90 min later they checked me, 5.5 cm, definitely real labor. So I asked for the ECV again, I wanted to do anything besides just having surgery - I know plenty of women have attempted vaginal breech. They told me now I was progressed too far to try it....after last time they didn't want to try it because they didn't want to progress me. I said I didn't want surgery, I wanted to try to deliver baby vaginally. I offered to be prepped and get IV and do the pushing in the ER, so that if anything didn't go right we were there and ready. They said no. I asked what would happen if I just refused to sign c-section consent. They told me (and I confirmed) that they would make me leave the hospital, in labor with a 35 weeker. My husband and I talked and we almost decided to try to birth baby in the car in the parking lot, as we were new to the area, didn't know any other hospitals locally, and my doula was on vacation in FLORIDA of all places. 

    I consented to surgery, but begged for a clear drape, and to not tie my arms down. Tears are streaming down my face, because they have already lied to me, threatened to send me to the streets, haven't listened to my concerns, and won't let me try something that is evidence based as generally safe, and there's tons of proof that borderline lungs are best delivered vaginally. We talk and choose a spinal epidural combo for pain relief although I was so upset I almost insisted on general anesthesia, I was so worried I would freak out, but they told me general can be harder on baby's lungs. They make me sit still through 6 increasingly strong contractions for the epidural. They lay me down and I ask if I should still be able to feel and move my feet like normal. They don't answer. Then they drape me up to my chin. I ask them to move it down to my bustline - I have tons of friends who've had sections and been able to have a picture with baby on their chest in the ER, because drape is just below bust. But they say no and won't answer me why. 

    It goes downhill from here. 

    I had an unmedicated c-section. If you don't want details about that, skip the spoiler.

     They poked me with some sharp things at my belly. I said ow and asked what they were doing and why. I wasn't answered. This happened four more times.I had several more contractions in here. Very painful to get through on my back. I felt them tie my legs down, I told them so. They didn't answer me once, about the poking or anything. So the fifth time I just figured they were just going to continue poking me no matter what I did, so I tried to just squeeze my husband's hand and ignore them. Then they started cutting. I screamed. Eric told me they had just started. I yelled back that I knew, and I could feel it.


    I asked them to stop what they were doing. I yelled that I could feel everything. The doctor's told me it was normal to feel pressure, and to stop yelling. I kept crying and screaming and I was terrified that in my pain I would move, the scalpel would slip and either me or baby would be in grave danger. I begged them to stop cutting me, to please stop. I reminded them that neither myself nor baby were in distress, we could pause and fix whatever was wrong. They told me nothing was wrong and that I would feel pressure. I reminded them that I'd been in labor for hours and what they were doing was much more painful. They ignored and got on with it. The bladder blade (holds bladder forcibly out of the way during surgery) was actually more painful than the cutting. They got to baby, grabbed him, pulled, and I screamed. They couldn't get him out. He was wedged into my pelvis. They conferred and said his hips were at the bottom of my pelvis. He was descending, and they had to yank him back out. And then once they got his bottom end freed, they got his head stuck in my ribs. They hadn't wanted to do a vaginal delivery because they were afraid his head would get stuck. Now his head was stuck, and every single time they tried to budge him it was excruciating. They got 3 more doctors in. They all had to maneuver in there. So much yanking that I literally shrieked through. They actually told me to shut up. They finally got him out.


    He cried. Oh THANK any and all lords that he was crying. Oh, and they called my husband over actually, to announce the sex - as we didn't know yet. And the pain was greatly reduced for me once he was out.


    I had asked them to do any work on him after birth to keep him on a table in my view. They didn't do that. They did let my husband trim up the cord. Then they told me he was having a hard time breathing, they let my husband hold him for a couple seconds and said baby needed to go to special care nursery (I didn't know at that point that special care was just a low-level NICU). My husband asked if he should stay or go, I begged him not to leave our son alone. 


    They told me I was bleeding rather more than they liked. They removed my placenta, inverted my uterus and scraped it out. I was back to full out shrieking. I was asked to hush again.


    I focused everything I could on squeezing the IV pole next to me as hard as I could and squeezing my other hand super tight to the point of making marks in my palm from my very short nails. 


    Finally they got me mostly put back into the correct places, and started stitching. I starting counting the stitches out loud as they went. Went I got to five I heard someone scream "Oh shit!."

    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

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  • sigh, it didn't let me leave more after the spoiler, so here's part 2 to story one.

    Then I woke up in recovery, in the middle of a thought. At first had no idea that I had been put out, it was so so weird. The nurse there confirmed that they put me under general and that no one had really believed that I had felt everything - they've "never seen or heard of that before."

    I asked to see him. They told me that the patient beds didn't fit in the special care. I asked for a wheelchair. They told me they only had one for the entire floor and didn't know when I could get it. It was 1 am. 

    At 3 am they bought a breast pump but didn't tell me how to work it, how often to pump or anything. They got it started and walked away, after telling me they'd bring a wheel chair at 5 am. At 6:30 they came in and got me out of bed, let me try to pee (I walked and peed just fine), got me wheelchair. I got in there at 6:55 am. So many tubes, so much oxygen on him. At 7 am they told me it was shift change, they had to do rounds and I couldn't be present for rounds. So I got 5 minutes. I was weighed that day. I was 2 lbs heavier than my pre-delivery weight. They put me on so many fluids that I lost my entire bag of waters, and a 6 lbs 11 oz baby, a placenta and apparently a bunch of blood, and gained 2 lbs. 

    24 hours later I get woken up by them telling me they have done x,y,z treatments on him (first time I've heard from a NICU doctor, no consent had been asked for, nothing explained to me), they hadn't worked, they put him on a ventilator as he was unable to even do the breathing action by himself, and they were going to transfer him to the children's hospital another hour from us...after lots of arguing, phone calls, etc, we got him transferred to a different level 3 NICU only 20 minutes from our home. And insisted I get a discharge from this hospital to follow him. They made us watch a "this is what to do with your baby when you get home" video for an hour straight and listen to 2 lectures about how to care for baby from live people. The baby who wasn't breathing and we couldn't take home.

    He spend a full week on a ventilator on entirely IV nutrition. He was two days shy of 36 weeks at birth, some oxygen support is normal, but a ventilator over 30 weeks gestation is weird. At least the NICU at new hospital had great doctors, great lactation support, and great parent support. When they took xrays of his lungs, they showed they were full of fluid. Our best guess is that we were so fluid overloaded during birth that he basically drowned - too many fluids in his system so his lungs were soaked. He spent a second week on a CPAP machine - which lets him breath, but provides positive pressure to help him get more air in. He was tube fed that week. Third week in he was just under nasal oxygen, and we taught him to overcome his oral aversion from the many many nasal feeding tubes he'd had to swallow. 

    In one thing I was lucky - I was super responsive to their hospital strength pumps. Went home overproducing, and got him onto the breast very quickly, that was nice. Luckily no further issues for him once he went home. For whatever reason, I couldn't convince a malpractice lawyer to pick up my case because there was no proven long term injury to either of us - there was no fault from the hospital or doctors.

    So that's my unmedicated surgical birth story. Next time I've got some time I'll write up my long but not traumatic home birth story. 
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

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  • mariabelemariabele member
    edited January 14
    @pourmeanothermocktail That's so horrible! I can't believe there's no recourse for such obvious and gross misconduct. "No long term effects" seems like a stupid bar to have to clear, especially if you can perhaps prove psychological and emotional impacts.

    As a first timer, thanks so much everyone for your stories! Thanks to ALL of you for sharing, including those with run-of-the-mill deliveries that people tend to not share. I know there are plenty of scary stories, but for every scary one I'm sure there are many no-fuss experiences. Thanks to all.
    pourmeanothermocktail
  • @pourmeanothermocktail I want to leave you a ❤️ of support but I don't want to imply in anyway that I love what you had to go through. That is horrific. I am glad the transfer put your son in better hands, and I hope that you've been able to find a safe and supportive place to work through your understandably strong and complicated feelings about your birth experience. I'm shocked that you couldn't find a malpractice attorney to take your case; it seems very clearly like malpractice to me (I am not a lawyer). 
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    pourmeanothermocktailalli392
  • @kyrwyn Thanks. I agree, but to me it's pretty accurate proof of how messed up our system is. The things you can and can't sue for, and how without undeniable proof-the operating room is a doctors sanctum.

    I was already not in favor of having my baby (what should hopefully be a normal body process!) in a place meant for sick people, but now it's hard to all to have trust in doctors. I've learned since that I'm OK in hospital when I legit am sick or injured, but I cannot be on the L&D floor with a healthy baby and self and be OK. I went through a year of therapy after his birth. It helped, but I may never have that same trust of OBs. And I knew a lot of what they were saying before birth wasn't true, but I had no advocate and couldn't find anyone to help me do anything else but go along with them. 

    So my second birth, a much shorter story, while it was long and hard, was a completely different story. I was strong and respected. I'm hoping baby looks great at our scan (in less than two weeks now!) so that we can plan to be at home again!
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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    lynkatkyrwyn
  • Wow you ladies have had some serious obstacles in your birth experiences! You are all warriors!

    My 2 boys were both born at home and were thankfully very positive experiences. 

    DS1’s story:
    I double dipped in care for the first 20 weeks as insurance was able to cover more of the things I needed through an OB but I was also very interested in a home birth with a midwife. The midwifery care far exceeded my OB’s care and we dropped him after my anatomy scan. Pregnancy was pretty smooth other than nausea/vomiting for the first 17-18 weeks. 
    I was on summer break and had been doing all the things to get labor going. Including walking in the Texas heat everyday. At 40+3 I woke up with consistent contractions around 6:30 am. Ate breakfast, took another walk, sat in the shower, ate lunch, and took a nap. I continued to progress through early labor with no difficulty. Things picked up around 4:00 and active labor began. I walked around, leaned against my ball, got on all fours, and moaned through contractions as DH put counter pressure on my lower back. My midwife and doula arrived at some point. My midwife set up the birthing pool as my doula (best friend) set up the environment, took pictures, and offered extra hands as needed. My midwife then offered to check me around 7:00 pm and found I was at a 4. This was discouraging in the moment because I thought I would have been further progressed but she was encouraging that everything was progressing just fine. The contractions became more intense/closer together and I asked if I could lay on my side in bed without slowing things down. She said we could try so I breathed deeply and held DH’s hand through the most intense part so far. After about 40 mins she decided to check me again and I was at a 9! I was finally able to get in the birthing pool. Almost immediately after I got in there I felt the urge to push. Tried some practice pushes and it felt better to feel “productive” during contractions. After about an hour of this I was getting really tired and running out of steam. The worry and doubt started to creep in that I wouldn’t be able to do this. I went into the wild animal stage as I pushed as hard as I could while DH literally held me up. I was getting so tired and discouraged. Baby was crowning but I could not get the head out for some time. My midwife began to stretch my perinium with oil as I pushed (which felt about as lovely as it sounds 🤪). Still I could not get baby’s head out. The midwife’s tone became more serious as he had been in the birth canal for awhile now. I got out of the pool and in a squat position. I was getting this baby out. DH held me up as I squatted and pushed with everything I had. The squatting position/gravity helped so much! Everyone cheered me on as I pushed as hard as I could. Finally his head was out and the next push his body came out. My midwife helped my DH catch the baby and I immediately (and instinctively) snatched him away. DH’s job was to announce the sex and I totally forgot haha. It was a boy! Born at 9:57 pm. We were all so happy and I was relieved it was over. Turns out he had a nuchal hand and a HUGE head. Also when he was weighed we learned that he was 10 lbs 4 oz 😳 holy smokes, no wonder I had such a hard time pushing him out. I could not believe that giant baby had just come out of me. And thanks to my midwife for stretching me while I pushed I had NO tearing, I couldn’t believe it. All in all, it was a challenging birth but very empowering!


    I’ll come back later for DS2’s story!
    kyrwynpourmeanothermocktailmariabele
  • I was watching a reality show marathon that went through the night. My husband and I were silly enough not to try and go to bed. We stayed up timing my contractions which were anywhere from 10-4 min apart until 6 am the next morning.
    ( For first time moms wondering, contractions for me felt like I was going to have explosive diarrhea but had to hold it in, then would go away. With also the pressure of a bowling ball on my pelvis.)
    I called my midwife and she told me to take my time and come to the hospital when ready and that was about 10am. Laboured are the hospital after being admitted at 5cm dialated. I started pushing in the evening but he wasn’t budging at all. I went in for an emergency c section at 6 o’clock. The spinal was such a relief after hours of no meds. Kinda wish I had just asked for an epi earlier. My little guy was born happy and healthy with a crazy cone head. I had a real hard time post partum due to three days of no sleep, heavy meds and hormones. 
    This time I am going in for a scheduled c and hope it goes a little more smoothly. All things considered wasn’t the worst. I am a little nervous about the process and no sleep while caring for a newborn and toddler. But so worth it.

    image
    kyrwynrunwmusiclynkatmariabele
  • @MssyMmmy ds had an insane cone head from being in the birth canal so long. I completely forgot about that!
    MssyMmmy
  • I love reading all these stories! ❤️ 
    Keep sharing ladies! I agree-we all want “normal” and “boring” births so don’t be Too afraid that yours wasn’t exciting Enough to share!

    Married: 12/19/15         

    BFP: 9/4/17             
    EDD: 5/16/18
    DD born 5/10/18
    Postpartum Complications

    BFP: 10/1/19
    EDD: 6/12/20
  • Ok, story number 2. Much shorter, much less bad stuff.

    Anatomy scan showed my placenta covering my entire previous c-section scar, plus part of cervix. Covering scar can lead to placenta accreta, which is life threatening, and covering cervix is an automatic c-section, probably early, you want it before any dilation or constant contractions. I was terrified as I didn't want another section, but really didn't want any risks to baby, and was hoping for a VBAC and home birth.

    Baby breech starting at 28 weeks this time (at least went butt down later than my first).

    At 30 weeks did another quick ultrasound, placenta did NOT embed into scar to cause accreta, and had moved 10 cm from cervix and 5 cm from scar, we were in the clear, YAY!

    Constant contractions that were 7-30 min apart all day long (with a 2 hour break in afternoon, and a 2 hour break from 2a-4a) started at 34 weeks, they were each about 45 seconds long. Ick. Home birth couldn't happen unless we made it to 36 weeks with a head down baby, or 37 weeks with a breech baby. I went into hospital, checked cervix for dilation, especially due to previous preemie. Cervix was OK, not perfect, but not open, and I insisted on lung steroid shots after my first born had so many breathing issues. 

    The morning of my 36 week appointment, baby flipped to head down. First time I'd ever carried a baby head down in the third trimester. WOW was it much more comfortable for me. Way less pain. And, I was no longer risking out of home birth. Very exciting day. 

    37 weeks on the dot I started contractions at 4 am that were 90 seconds long, 5 min apart and distinctly uncomfortable/painful. This went on for 6 hours. I thought it was baby day. Then they stopped abruptly, went back to the less painful further apart ones I'd already been having for 3 weeks. I had another of these episodes every other day for a week, then everyday for another week. I was getting maybe 2 hours of sleep per night, hard to eat or do anything, I was laboring at least as painfully as I had with my first, but on and off for weeks. 

    At 38+3 midwife appointment, we decided to do a cervical check, my very first of pregnancy, because I wasn't able to sleep much and we wondering what was up. She noted a lot of scar tissue on my cervix. We discussed and wondered if it might have been from pulling my previous baby up and out a mostly dilated cervix. She massaged it out (asked if I wanted to try that, I totally consented). Lost mucous plug at 38+4. The morning of 38+5 hit, 3 am, started up again, but this time it hurt to sit down, the contractions radiated down my thighs. So, different. I figured this was finally the real deal. They didn't let up even after taking care of my son for breakfast, which they usually did. I called the team. I had my husband stay home and my mom was here, but I told them we definitely had plenty of time. They were 5 min apart, 90 seconds long all day long. I spend as much time as I could resting on the couch watching "Call the Midwife" on Netflix. Great home birth show. I was breathing through contractions, losing a lot of plug and a bit of spotting when I peed, loose stools, etc. But I managed a mostly normal breakfast and lunch amount of food and water - I wanted to keep my energy. I usually had a lull in contractions in the afternoon, but I nursed my son down for nap and didn't get the lull. 

    I had less than normal dinner eaten. Contractions now I had to sit still and focus for. I now wanted my husband around instead of somewhere else. I wasn't really focusing on the movie or show between contractions either. Called my doula, she was over around 11 pm. She and my husband got the birthing pool set up (damn thing was inflatable and HUGE! loved it). I got in right away. I started getting nauseous with each contraction, but my doula held my hand, and got a small pad soaked with peppermint oil to smell - and that stopped the nausea. By 1 am husband went to go take a nap, doula called midwives to come, and I was definitely making some deep loud-ish noises. They arrived around 2:30 am, did some checking on my vitals and listened to baby, we waited. Around 4 am I was discouraged, it had been 24 hours and nothing seemed to have changed in hours. I wasn't getting cervical checks because we didn't think them necessary. I got out of tub, dried off, and tried to take a nap myself. As soon as I laid down, things picked up. It was so weird, I hear about other people walking to try to encourage labor, but for me, resting did it. I asked for a cervical check then, at 4:30 ish, to know if it was worth trying harder to get rest, or if I should get some caffeine and water and sugar and power through. I was 8 cm with bag bulging, hooray! I was just glad that something had been happening. I got an Izze soda and a marathon energy gel with caffeine to try to boost my mood more.Labored for another hour ish. I hit a point there where I inwardly questioned why I was at home with no pain meds, and outwardly said "Guys, what am I doing wrong?" Contractions lasted roughly 2 min long, but every 3 min, so only 60 seconds of rest. 

    She (midwife) suggested I try to poop, and then get in a deep squat to see if I could encourage baby to move down or water to break or anything. No pooping happened, but deep squat, though painful as thighs were still getting the contractions, seemed effective. Water broke at 7:30 am. Onto a towel, HOORAY again, easy clean up. Not 15 minutes later I felt my body sorta trying to push, it felt like my body trying to throw up, but out of my butt - a downward retching motion. Weird, but best description for me.

    I wasn't sure I wanted to deliver in the tub, I thought I wanted hands and knees, but midwife noted that the squat seemed to help the most for baby, and water would help me stay up in a squat. That made sense. My husband also stood up and held my hands up once I got back in. Contractions slowed to every 3 ish minutes, lasting about a minute. So much easier in that way. But I could feel my sacrum (lowest part of spine/back of pelvis, just above tailbone) pushing back and out which hurt like a bitch! That pain didn't go way during contractions. And I felt like I couldn't move or baby wouldn't fit out. I tried to shift one foot less than an inch, and nope, had to put it back. Body kept trying to push, and I wanted my body to just do it on it's own, but after a while, I decided I needed to help it along. Note - apparently the last bit here, pushing, triggers my asthma, which is rarely triggered unless I'm running outside in the cold or sick. But, next time, note to self, use inhaler when getting ready for this. I was trying to do long ish pushes, but I couldn't catch my breath. At all. That was scary for me, which didn't help me catch my breath. But finally midwife and husband told me I needed to just calm down and get this done. Managed better pushes longer, while getting air in, and felt baby moving down. They asked if I wanted to touch the head, and I was like, NOPE, baby is finally coming down, I CAN'T move or I might stop it. Crowning was almost a relief for ME because finally my sacrum wasn't hurting anymore, pain was focused on skin lower down. Not a pleasant feeling, but different than before and skin pain apparently bothers me less than bone or ligament pain. I could feel myself kinda grip with muscles to make sure head didn't slide backward when each contraction stopped. Probably took 4 to get head one. I announced "HA THE HEAD IS OUT." Then it was 3 more for shoulders, and then I felt lied to. I had heard SO MANY TIMES that "once the head and shoulders are out the body just follows. Well, no. Not at all. 2 more contractions to get rest of body out. Pool super padded on the bottom, baby landed gently (whoops no one caught baby!). Also, there was some pooping, but it was handled quietly and not discussed.

    I picked up baby pretty quick, brought baby out of the water, cuddled in. 

    TW: some light complications with breathing - everyone was fine.

    Baby wasn't crying though. I rubbed baby's back vigorously, still not crying. Asked if I should flip her over and push fluids out or start CPR, midwife told me to just hold her and wait a moment (baby still getting oxygen from placenta). I kept rubbing and talking to her. It was apparently only about 20 seconds later that they stepped in, used a little tiny suction tube to clear out mouth, and used the ambu-bag to blow air in face twice (felt like forever!), and baby took some breaths, cried just a tiny bit, but then stopped and just looked at me. Cuddled up, YAY! And then someone (I think my mom) asked, well, girl or boy. Famous line here, lol. "Well, I don't think I feel any testicles." Which was true, I had one hand under her bum, and it didn't notice any. But I was just so relieved it was all over and she was breathing that I hadn't paid attention yet. Definitely a girl. Also, they noted her head was coned, but much lower down than normal, like straight out the back instead of the crown area. She had had her chin flexed down MORE than normal. They guessed that that was why she had done her final descent relatively slowly and why I had so much pain as she was getting through pelvis.

    They asked me to get out of the tub pretty quick. I stood up to do so and dropped back to a squat. "Nope guys, gotta do this first." Literally a quote (I was so full of idiot statements). One contraction, no voluntary pushes, and placenta out. Ok, good, that made holding baby easier. Stepped out, walked to bed in the next room, holding baby. 

    They let me know I was having some extra bleeding. They had to do the evil "masssage." Ick, but ok. They give me some icky medicine and herbal tea to drink to help. It slows but doesn't stop. Baby crawls up my chest to breast, latches on, this should help uterus shrink down, but it doesn't. Now they're getting more worried. Midwife suggests that my bladder feels really full, it might be in the way of uterus shrinking down enough and that might be the bleeding issue. I go to the toilet, but I can't feel anything down there. Can't pee. I hop in shower real quick hoping that standing up and warm water will make it easier. But nope. During this time daddy helped with initial baby check over. Looks great, 8 lbs, 8 oz, 21.5" long, healthy! Born at 9:06 am after 31 hours of labor, at 38+6. My mom was there too, she had been watching my toddler upstairs, but left him to play for the last 30 min of pushing. I was fine with this.

    They examine me again. I'm told I have two tiny tears, but less than first degree, more like just road rash. But right next to urinary opening. I'm given 3 options. 1 - head to hospital for IV support and whatever doctors want to do. 2 - stay home for another 20 minutes trying more meds and herbs and hope, but if it doesn't stop, go in anyway. 3 - have her do a quick catheter on my bladder (not a leave in one like a foley, but a straight cath that's just a one time empty and remove. I elect for catheter. I really feel like I have to pee strongly, I just can't make it happen. She warns me she has no local anesthesia, and the road rash is right there. But I tell her to go ahead. It wasn't comfortable, but not that bad. There was almost 2 L of pee in there, because apparently all that I'd drank during transition and such wasn't able to come out with baby descending, and then afterwards the tissues were JUST swollen enough to be trouble. 

    Once I was empty, extra bleeding immediately quit. I had iron supplements at home from my last birth still, so she recommended those and gave me a few herbal supplements that should help me replenish blood, keep uterus contracted down, build strength. 

    My son and my sister came in to meet baby real fast. This was important to me, that my son got to meet her before visitors. 

    Then my doula brought me food, I ate in bed, baby nursed again, and we slept for 6 hours without being disturbed. SO NICE.

    Didn't name baby for 3 days, lol. Whoops. 

    Had home visit the next morning, 3 days after, and then at 2 weeks old and 6 weeks old. We saw pediatrician at 1 week (and she had already surpassed birth weight!), and 1 month. 

    Still very very hard, I wanted to get pain meds at one point, it hurt more than I expected, and I had never been present at an unmedicated birth, so it was all a little "much" for me, but so much better than last time. 

    The "tears" weren't really tears and totally healed in less than 24 hours with nothing done to them. I felt fine after a week (even sitting!), but restricted my activities for 2 weeks as I know I had a huge placenta, and so a 14" wound inside me. But bleeding was done by about 2 weeks. It was amazing how fast I recovered. 

    Hoping next birth is similar but maybe with a slightly shorter labor, (less labor for a month beforehand), a baby quicker to breath, and less of a "paralyzed bladder." But, even if it went exactly the same (lol, that would never happen), it would be totally fine with me.
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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    MssyMmmylynkatkyrwynmariabele
  • I love talking birth stories!

    My goal was always to go unmedicated.  I have an extreme fear of needles and that was the absolute main factor in that decision.

    With my first, I woke up at 34 weeks 3 days, the day after my shower, with what I thought was a stomach bug.  I repeatedly had to use the bathroom.  After about 3 hours, I noticed blood and realized hmm...maybe these are actually contractions and I should definitely call the doctor on call at the hospital.  She assumed I was just dehydrated so told me to come in and get checked out.  On the drive there (40 minutes without stopping, but we stopped at our new house to drop off the dog with the intention of returning there so my husband could do some work on it later that day) I realized this was most definitely the real deal and I was not just dehydrated.  My contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and pretty intense.  

    When I arrived to OB-triage, they sent me in the bathroom to get a gown on.  I ended up throwing up and as that was happening, a bunch of liquid appeared on the floor - yup, my water broke.  There was no turning back now.  The nurse proudly declared "you're having a baby today!" to which I burst in tears.  I was NOT ready and NOT prepared.  Our cars were literally still full of our gifts from the shower.  I wasn't even supposed to be at my house that morning because I was supposed to stay at my parents, but at 11 the night before I just really felt the desire to go home, so I drove the hour home to sleep in my bed.

    Anyway, they admitted me right away and took me right to a room in labor and delivery.  I was already 3 cm and fully effaced.  This was probably about 11 a.m.  At around 12, I definitely hit the hard part of labor and wanted everyone except DH and my mom and the nurse out of my room.  Lights off.  I stood in the shower for a while but would have definitely preferred a tub.  Unfortunately, they don't have any.  I was able to labor med free.  Around 3:00 they told me I was 10 cm and it was time to push.

    While I was pushing, the NICU staff came in to explain what was going to happen after my son was born.  I have no idea what they said, because hello, active labor and pushing.  After about 45 minutes, my baby was born.  He was 4 pounds, 12 ounces.  They threw him on my chest, told me to kiss him, and then whisked him away.  He had the cord wrapped around his neck twice and around his entire body once.  We think that may be why he came early - some sort of distress.

    I was on cloud 9 after he was born.  Of course I was upset that he wasn't with me, but the endorphins were running high and I was really proud of myself for making it through.  I was also starving, so asked them to order me food asap.

    My second was dramatically different.

    They always say the second comes faster.

    They are wrong.

    I showed up to the hospital about 10 a.m. at 39 weeks 5 days.  I thought for sure this baby would be born before 3 because his brother came in that amount of time, and you know, second baby.

    While I was 10 cm by about 2:00, he was nowhere near far enough down for me to be able to push.  I was in EXTREME pain.  The back labor was unreal.  I needed my husband to constantly push on my back for me to have any relief.  I wanted to do nothing but lay in bed.  I'm hoping with this one I can muster up the courage to walk around, because that is supposed to help.

    At any rate, I pushed for almost 2 hours and NOTHING happened, in fact, my contractions slowed down majorly and weren't showing to be as intense (but they sure hurt just as bad as they had been.)

    My doctor came in and told me I basically had 2 options.  1, get an epidural and give my body a chance to rest.  Lie with a peanut ball between my legs to help my hips open wider so baby can move down the birth canal. or 2. Go in for a cesarean.  

    I started crying.  Neither of these options were appealing to me.  However, I was exhausted and in so much pain, so I opted for the epidural to see if I could still have a vaginal birth.  After 7 hours of laying on my side with the peanut ball, I was finally able to deliver with about 20 minutes of pushing.  The recovery was way more difficult having pushed with an epidural.  I would really like to be able to go unmedicated again because I pulled muscles that I didn't realize I was using and it made it difficult to walk for weeks after the baby was born.  But, at least I know what it is like with an epidural now, and I plan to talk to the doctor about if I do end up with an epidural, is there a way to turn it off or way down when it is time to push. 

    I AM optimistic that my third will be a faster/easier labor than the 2nd.  My 2nd was 8 pounds 9 ounces and I'm sure that contributed a lot to the difficult labor considering my first was almost half his size.  But having birthed a rather large baby now, in comparison to the first at least, my body *should* know what it's doing, right?  

    Meanwhile, my husband is researching massage tools because apparently he can't handle the straight on massage again hahahaha.  He knows not to compare his pain to my pain, but it is cute that he's trying to prepare :)
    Pregnancy Ticker
    pourmeanothermocktailMssyMmmyrunwmusic
  • @lynkat
    I just wrote about the exact opposite, haha.  It was not easier my 2nd time.  But I'm hoping it will be the 3rd time!  3rd times the charm, right?
    Pregnancy Ticker
    lynkat
  • @diagonalley I loved reading your wildly different birth stories! It is 100% possible for them to turn down your epidural at that last hurdle if you need and makes so much sense to me! Sometimes you just need the chance to rest for a while (especially in long labors) when you need to prep for pushing. I hope your doctor is on board with it! 

    Married: 12/19/15         

    BFP: 9/4/17             
    EDD: 5/16/18
    DD born 5/10/18
    Postpartum Complications

    BFP: 10/1/19
    EDD: 6/12/20
    pourmeanothermocktailrunwmusic
  • @diagonalley haha wow total opposite. Was #2 born sunny side up?? Hopeful for #3 being way easier for you!
    runwmusic
  • @diagonalley the Ob told the nurses to turn off my epidural when it was time to push so I could feel it so that is definitely an option. I actually begged for them to turn it back on (they did and it didn’t work) because I was in so much pain after 5 hours of pushing. 

    One thing that’s weird to me is I never felt the urge to push. When I was fully dilated I felt weird like my epidural had worn off and that had the nurses check me, but I never felt that urge to push. 
  • I have two birth stories that are drastically different from each other. I will post them separately. 

    Here is the story for DS 1. 

    We had just moved about a month before he was born. That weekend we were super busy organizing the house and furniture shopping. Sunday night at 38+4 I had to wake up multiple times to pee, even more than usual. One time as I got up, my husband asked me if I was okay. I was just about to answer yes, when I felt a gush. My answer was instead, “I think my water just broke.” It was about 3 in the morning. I wasn’t feeling any contractions yet. Instructions from midwife were to wait if my water broke as long as I was Group B negative, which I was. So we waited. Eventually contractions started and got more intense as time went on. I informed my midwife of what was happening but she said not to leave yet as we needed to drive in the direction of NYC and she didn’t want us to hit Monday morning rush hour traffic. We kept checking traffic while I labored at home walking around and using the giant ball. Around 9:30 we decided to go and made the drive in record time.

    Once we arrived at the hospital, they checked me and I was at 5 CM. They got us into a room and asked if I wanted an epidural. I said yes. They made my husband leave the room to insert it. The insertion was an awful experience. It took 3 anesthesiologists over 2 hours to get it in. Apparently I have a curve in my back I was not aware of. Once they were successful, all of the pain stopped but so did my contractions. They tried pitocin to get them going again but it did not work. I was still at 5 CM and this was hours later. Baby also wasn’t descending at all and he wasn’t handling labor well. 
    They decided to do an emergency C-Section. 
    It turns out that my son was stuck at my pelvis. He was so stuck that I heard the doctor muttering about how stuck he was and I could feel them tugging on on him. He had been banging his head against my pelvis, poor little guy, and came out with a cone head. The swelling went down by the next day and he was fine but it was a bit scary. 
    I think the thing that upset me the most was that I was unable to hold my son for at least an hour or more after he was born. I also did not get to try breastfeeding for that amount of time. My son would never latch correctly and I partially blame this.  My husband did not get to cut the cord. I had a rough time postpartum after my first son’s birth, but I know that it would have been difficult for him to come out any other way positioned how he was. 
    lynkatkyrwyn
  • @bluehydrangea17 ds was sunny side up so I know as much as I hated having a c section labor would have been terrible and long had I ever gotten to the pushing part. I also wonder if his inability to ever latch without a shield was because we couldn't try nursing right away. 
  • @lynkat
    Nope, both babies were born in the ideal positions.  

    @chaos-and-coffee
    I didn't know it was time to push when I had the epi.  The nurse tried to insert a catheter to collect urine and she couldn't get it to work so she brought in the doctor, in which they declared it was time to push!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Ooook I've been flipping back and forth on sharing because the majority of my births have not ended well.  
    My first son was born on Thanksgiving in 2010. After a very uneventful first half of pregnancy with zero to hardly any sickness, we were super pumped for our anatomy scan. We went to the scan and they checked everything, told us it was a boy and sent us on our way. A few days later my doc called and said that she wanted me to go have a second scan to check something she couldn't see clearly. Ok, cool. That was a Friday and things got kinda wonky after that. Monday morning, the week of Thanksgiving I went to the store to get food for the week. I remember having to stop for what I assumed was just Braxton Hicks. I would shop a little, feel uncomfortable and stop, shop, stop, etc. On Tuesday, I had the follow up scan. The tech was silent through it and at one point just got up and left the room. She came back with the MFM Doc who explained that my son's lung hadn't developed into proper tissues and instead had become tumors. Also that the tumors had shifted his heart to the wrong side of his chest. And oh, that my uterus was funneling. 
    The tumor is called a CCAM or actually a CPAM, the name was changed. (Note: I wasn't told to go to the hospital even though my uterus was funneled, my cervix was short, or that I had contractions through the whole scan.) On Wednesday, I felt uncomfortable all morning, lots of trips to the bathroom with bouts of diarrhea. Eventually, in the afternoon I decided to lay down with my feet up and count. Crap - timeable. Frequent and increasing in intensity. I called the office line and my doctor had left for the rest of the week for Thanksgiving but to head straight to the hospital. We did, went right to L&d didn't even go to the ER. I was 22 weeks and 3 days. They tried to stop labor with shots of who knows what, had my bed Head over foot to take pressure off my cervix. When nothing worked they sent us by ambulance to a hospital with a better NICU. I finally got the nurse who went with us to tell me what was going on. I was 4cm and no sign of stopping. 
    We got to the hospital and they came to give me morphine for the pain. Turns out I'm allergic to morphine. After scrambling to stop the reaction a doctor finally came in to tell me that at 22 weeks I didn't make the hospitals required 23 weeks for intervention. My baby would be born but would also die. I got an epidural and that with all the other meds kept me mostly unconscious. My mom came at some point and stayed but I wasn't really awake. My husband didn't leave my side the entire time. 
    Finally at 3am Thanksgiving morning, my epi had worn off and I paged for a nurse. I was checked and found to be 10cm. It took 2 pushes. He was 1 pound and 6 oz. Tiny and perfect. He slowly suffocated and passed within 10 minutes. We held him for I don't remember how long. Come 9 or so in the morning they moved me to a regular room where I watched TV while waiting for my mom to come pick us up and was discharged before lunch. 

    married 9/2010
    DS1 11/2010 (angel)
    DS2 5/2012
    DS3 4/2015
    New baby 6/2020
  • Baby boy 2s pregnancy, though uneventful for the most part was terrifying due to the preterm loss. I was forced to have a cerclage placed at 13 weeks and progesterone shots from weeks 16-36. There was no indication during my pregnancy that these interventions were actually needed but I did feel a bit safer having them. At 36 weeks when the cerclage was removed the doctor was convinced I'd be in the hospital having the baby within a week tops, because they had decided early in the pregnancy that I had an incompetent cervix. 
    He didn't come out. For 5 more weeks. On his own 41 weeks and a day. The contractions started in my sleep but didn't wake my until they were very intense, about 130am. I walked around trying to not wake my husband but he heard me call my midwife to tell her what was up. She had us come in. The hospital is 15-30 minutes away depending on red lights and traffic. I think we hit every darn light on the way. When I got checked in and the midwife came, she checked me at 7.5cm but she also decided that I shouldn't go to the birthing suite as previously decided. That I should just go to a regular room. So there I was, stuck on my back, in a ton of pain and told to be quiet I was nothing the other moms. I eventually begged for an epi which I did get by 430am or so. A few minutes after the paid had gone away a doctor I never met, told me that she wanted to bring me in for a c section. I was not in distress, nor was the baby. I rolled over and showed her my back until she finally got up and left.  Things go downhill from here. Nurses stopped coming to my room. I wasn't given ice or water or juice or anything. My epi wore off and they wouldn't get the anesthesiologist to come administer more. I felt pressure and the urge to push and my husband had to get a nurse. She told me I had one hour to push the baby out.  The showed my husband how to watch the monitor for contractions, had him hold my feet, and left. Eventually she came back 20ish minutes later and made me roll this way and hold my leg that way and no that's not working you're not doing it right, turn this way. I was screaming in pain because I had no epidural whatsoever, and she was rolling me around side to side trying to find a position that would work. I was so so tired. I cried and cried and when the next shift doctor came in, another I hadn't met, I agreed to the c section. They called the anesthesiologist who was there within minutes, who had an argument with the nurse right there in my room, he was pissed off yelling, "why wasn't I called, she shouldn't have been allowed to run dry!" 
    The epidural kicked back in, I felt better but exhausted and didn't even make another attempt to push as the nurse left and didn't come back. I called my mom to let her know. I agreed to the c section around 830-9 am. I was in line for a c section (this hospital is a notorious baby factory with an extremely high c section rate.) And I got wheeled into the OR after 12pm. They pulled him out (he was heading out the cervix and had a massively molded head from being there for so long.) He was 10 pounds 8.6 ounces. I was stuck on a liquid diet post op for 3 days and the nurses were rotten horrible ladies. I felt like I was just inconveniencing them by existing. They tried to discharge the baby without me. I fought it and got to go home with him. 
    married 9/2010
    DS1 11/2010 (angel)
    DS2 5/2012
    DS3 4/2015
    New baby 6/2020
  • 3rd boy, I decided I absolutely couldn't go back to the hospital. Found homebirth midwives willing to take hbacs. Pregnancy was uneventful, anatomy scan was fine, he came on his own the day after his due date. 8hours from first contraction to birth. 9.3 oz and an absolutely healing and wonderful birth. 
    Don't get me wrong. Laboring and birth is incredibly painful but was so much more worth if for me in the end. 
    I have a different homebirth midwife now but all is well and uneventful so far.
    It took me until last year to go to therapy for my hospital delivers. Within the first sessions the therapist was like, "you most definitely have PTSD." And we have worked through a lot of it and it was the first Thanksgiving in these years that I was not a massive wreck.
    married 9/2010
    DS1 11/2010 (angel)
    DS2 5/2012
    DS3 4/2015
    New baby 6/2020
    pourmeanothermocktaillynkat
  • @bluehydrangea17 I often wonder if that was why our bf journey was so difficult too. They put DS on my chest immediately after but I was not allowed to bf and didn’t get to see him again until the nurses brought him back and I couldn’t get him to latch without a shield. I was so exhausted at that point I couldn’t even hold him up. 

    @diagonalley they turned my epi off though during all 5 hrs of pushing and I still never felt like I needed to push. I could feel every contraction and pushed only because it felt better when I did but I never felt that urge to push that people talk about. 
  • @pnkfaerie I am so sorry you went through those traumatic hospital births and for the loss of your first born. You are a brave woman in sharing your story and I have the utmost respect for your journey. I hope your next birth continues to provide you with strength in yourself and healing. ❤️
    image
  • Wow, these are some of the most horrible birth stories I have heard.  So sorry for all of you have have had awful experiences. 
  • @pnkfaerie Very sorry for your loss and that terrible hospital with your second. I hear you on the PTSD and hate of hospitals since. I'm glad your home birth went so well! Here's to hooray for HBAC! I totally agree on there isn't an easy way to birth, but that it is much more rewarding when you arrive on the other side without having been abused!

    @kerco925 On the upside, most births are not like this. But on the other side of the coin,, I have to get my story out so that hopefully others ask questions and hold doctors and hospitals accountable.

    I wish we could all trust all doctors and that they all had our best interests at heart. 
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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    kerco925lynkat
  • @pnkfaerie wow, what horrible experiences you had to go through. I’m so sorry for the loss of your first child. So glad your 3rd was a positive and healing experience for you! I hope this one is just the same ❤️
  • mariabelemariabele member
    edited January 17
    I'm so so sorry to hear about some of your terrible hospital experiences! When you trust medical professionals to take the best care of you but they do the opposite, I completely see how you lose trust in the entire system. The hospital I plan to go to has wonderful reviews, especially their nursing staff, but you just never know.
    pourmeanothermocktail
  • I forgot to add and am only just remembering reading about some of the terrible experiences some of you had. It’s okay to ask a nurse or doctorTo not attend you (of course this doesn’t work if it’s everyone on the floor but). I coached my husband on what to say for both nurses and residents (I knew my MFM team) if we weren’t clicking and I wanted someone else. It is a legitimate thing some people have used. I heard about it on the birth hour and in a L&D class. I thankfully didn’t have to use it but maybe if you prepare your statement ahead of time like we did it would be easier to do at the time! Also make it your partners job. You e got other worries than dealing with that drama at the time 😊

    Married: 12/19/15         

    BFP: 9/4/17             
    EDD: 5/16/18
    DD born 5/10/18
    Postpartum Complications

    BFP: 10/1/19
    EDD: 6/12/20
    kyrwynpourmeanothermocktailmariabeleErikandAfton
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