TTCAL Week of 12/23-12/28/19

NYTino24

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage, selective termination due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? 

What is something that you are struggling with this week? 

What is going well for you this week? 

R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What makes you smile?

emeraldduchess

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Early miscarriage at 5 weeks December '18, CP July '19

Status: WTO 

How are things going? Not great at the moment. I told DH that I don't know how much longer I can stay on this rollercoaster. 

What is something that you are struggling with this week? Constant photo reminders of what I should have, but don't. Also feeling like a second class citizen because I am not part of the "mommy club" in DH's family. 

What is going well for you this week? I can have wine during Christmas which is probably the only way I will be able to deal. I won't overdo it and get hammered of course, but it will take the sting out. 

R/R? I also have a cold which sucks. Although it's a good excuse to stay home in my comfy clothes the next few days. I wouldn't be sad it if meant an early exit from Christmas Eve festivities, either. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

GTKY: What makes you smile? My dog, funny YouTube videos, and soft fluffy yarn. 

keikilove

I’m joining back in here after avoiding for a few months. This thread is always very hard for me to read through but I’ve been struggling with not expressing some of my thoughts & feelings about loss lately. So here I am again. And @emeraldduchess I can really relate to a lot of the feelings you posted. I am so sorry you’re feeling left out of DH’s family’s “mommy club”. Drink that wine!!!

Loss history: Late loss at 18 weeks in  Oct 2018, early loss at 6 weeks in Jan 2019, many chemical pregnancies throughout 2019. 

Status: WTO

How are things going? Eh. MH is really getting on my nerves w his constant snappiness & I can’t even stomach the thought of BD right now so good thing it’s off in the distance.

What is something that you are struggling with this week? It’s been a full year since our late loss & thinking (hoping, wishing) maybe it was a fluke & to try again w gusto. This time last year we were excitedly trying again & it worked—temporarily—until it started the cascade of losses earlier & earlier. I’ve been thinking about whether all the medication I’m on is ever going to work or if it’s too late or too difficult a problem to solve. And I don’t even want to say these things out loud because I dont want to give life to negative things that I don’t want to come to fruition.

What is going well for you this week? I avoided Xmas shopping until this last weekend, & then I tackled it & actually found some great gifts. I also drank wine this weekend to drown my sorrows & I know it’s not good for fighting inflammation but it made me feel better temporarily.

R/R? See above  

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Hysteroscopy under anesthesia coming up in the next week or so to look for endometritis or endometriosis or chronic inflammation. Just to rule those things out or treat them if they’re part of the problem  

GTKY: What makes you smile? Thinking of how far I’ve come in life, how much serious adversity I’ve triumphed over. That makes me feel like I will win this IF battle too. 

bluetickgal

@emeraldduchess @keikilove sending you both love & hugs!!! 💜💜💜

mindyb2019

@emeraldduchess aww, I’m sorry your feeling left out of the mommy’s club in DH’s family. You definitely deserve that wine. Drink up girl and enjoy it 😉 I’ll have a glass with you over here lol. Sorry you have a cold. That really sucks around this time of year. Hope you feel better soon. 

@keikilove welcome back here after a few months. I don’t blame you for taking a little break. It can be hard to read it all somedays. I feel ya on the Husband thing. MH has been getting on my nerves lately too because of his constant snappiness lately also. Men I tell ya 😠Sorry it’s been a full year since your late loss. Sending you Hugs 💕 I’m glad you were able to tackle Xmas shopping and found great gifts. You drink that wine and enjoy the hell out of it. If it makes you feel better even temporarily, I say do it! I’ll be drowning my sorrows as well in some booze. I hope your hysteroscopy in the next week goes well. 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.  - Early Miscarriage at 7 weeks Nov, 2019  

Status:WFAF still so I can move on into a brand new cycle. 

How are things going? Ok I guess..As good as its gonna get. 

What is something that you are struggling with this week? I’m struggling with Christmas this year. I’m excited and torn all at once. Just sooo many reminders and triggers that it’s tough. I just want it to be over with so I can start a new year fresh and hopefully 2020 will bring much happiness. 

What is going well for you this week? I have some time off from work so that’s yay 😁 I love sleeping in and relaxing and doing nothing but watching movies, eating munchies and drinking my drinks. 🍹🍷🍸

R/R? .... 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just had my blood test done and got my results back. I’m still at 42 HCG . *sigh* it’s getting there but is taking its sweet ass time. It’s taken 6 weeks so far to get to this point. I’m officially over it and done. Zero anytime would be nice. I’m hoping by next week it should be almost all gone. FX. I want to AF to come already. Let’s get this show on the road 😆 

GTKY: What makes you smile?My cat, watching funny videos on you tube, and tap dancing with my girls.