UO Thursday 11/7 - Page 2 — The Bump
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UO Thursday 11/7


Re: UO Thursday 11/7

  • Healthcare system here is so unbelievably broken. The costs are so non-transparent. I am downright amazed when I first came to the U.S.
    Me: 27 DH: 29
    Married: 2016
    TTC #1 8/18
    Letrozole 5mg 5/19, 6/19 and 7/19 - All BFN
    IUI #1 10/19 BFN
    First RE visit 11/19
  • @ziggymama06 - Thanks for the info. My brother lives with my mom in rural Kentucky, so they have to drive 3 hours (each way) for him to get his infusions. Thankfully, he only has to do that every 6 months, but it took a long time and an uphill battle to get him approved for that. The MS Society is amazing. They covered the cost of gas and an overnight hotel stay for him and my mom. That is one charity I will always endorse.

    And on the topic of c-sections, I have another UO, and it is that if I ever get pregnant again and carry to term, I do NOT want a c-section. In fact, I want it written into my birth plan that a c-section is an absolute LAST resort. I've read so many research articles linking c-sections to chronic illnesses. It's due to the babies not being exposed to the good bacteria in the birth canal, and instead being born into an absolutely sterile environment, so it royally f*cks their immune systems. A good book to read on this topic (its primary focus is on gut health, but there is a section on the topic of c-sections & chronic illness) is called Brainmaker: The Power of Gut Microbes to Heal and Protect Your Brain - For Life by Dr. Perlmutter.
    Me: 35 / DH: 39
    TTC #1 since May 2019
    MMC - Oct. 2019 (10 weeks)

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  • @ttcbabyodo why would a c-section be done as anything other than a last resort? I can’t imagine an OB needing a birth plan that specifically states a c/s needing to be medically necessary only.

    I’m going to put the rest of this convo in a spoiler as I’ll be talking about my pregnancies. 

    If a VBAC is what you want, you need to find a VBAC-friendly OB (if yours is currently not). Unless you’re at an unusually high risk of uterine rupture by having a VBAC, vaginal birth should not be something an OB should immediately rule out. 

    Furthermore — I’ve had 3 c-sections, only one of them planned. If I’m lucky enough to get pregnant again I’ll have a 4th as the amount of scar tissue in my uterus does put me at a higher risk of rupture. And although it’s only anecdotal, my c-section babies are completely, 100% healthy. Please be mindful of where and how you post this research, particularly as it seems the book is written by a neurologist and not someone fluent in the language of obstetrics and child birth. As you must know, there are a lot of sensitive feelings surrounding c-section births and many women are subjected to criticism and derision by people who believe they are not “real” births. I know this is not what you’re saying, but it stings that you’re suggesting my children have been set up for a life of chronic illness due to a birth that was completely out of everyone’s control. 

  • ttcbabyodottcbabyodo
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited November 8
    @kmalls - Thank you for your feedback. I never intended to hurt anyone's feelings here whatsoever. And I'm certainly not insinuating that all c-section babies are doomed. I'm just saying that, for me (an active duty military service member) I've seen an increase in c-section births that were not necessary for life of the mother or child, and I simply don't want one for the reasons I listed in my UO. 
    Me: 35 / DH: 39
    TTC #1 since May 2019
    MMC - Oct. 2019 (10 weeks)

  • @ttcbabyodo yeah. I’ve got a lot to say on this topic but won’t, out of respect for the community we are in. 
  • @ttcbabyodo That is great that the MS Society helped so much and your brother was able to get the infusions he needs.  I captain a team for Walk MS every year to fund-raise for the MS Society, it's such a great cause.   <3
    Me: 33  DH: 35
    Dating 4/2008
    Home Purchase 3/2010
    Married 6/2016
    TTC #1:  9/2019
  • edited November 8
    Living for all of this convo.

    @kmalls TW:
    Your part hits home with me. A c-section was my absolute last resort too. I had a lot of guilt and shame for having one after DS was born. For more reasons than how my cesarean might affect my child later in life. I appreciate you stance on the topic. 

    Me 25, DH 28

    Married Oct. 5th 2013

    ttc #2

    DS born Nov. 2017

  • keikilovekeikilove
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited November 9
    @kmalls I just wanted to come back & acknowledge your comments on the c-section topic. I think it is dead wrong that anyone shames a woman for having a c-section, or the idiotic idea that this somehow means she didn’t give “real” birth to her baby. I am grateful that modern science allows c-sections to take place in circumstances where it’s truly needed. 
    I also don’t think your children are doomed to anything besides perfect health and happy lives.

    The rest in a spoiler just because some may be tired of this topic already, or simply not want to read what could be seen as controversial or argumentative commentary. It’s not intended that way, but to be safe...

    These are just my general statements on the topic, not aimed at anyone here: I am totally appalled that cesareans are so highly over-done in our country. In my area there is NO hospital for women who want to try for a VBAC. The hospital simply won’t work with them. These women have to make the choice to fly to our main island & figure out how to be away from their families & live there for awhile until baby decides to make its entrance at the huge women's hospital that allows VBACs, or stay at home & use the local hospital & sign up for a repeat c-section that they don’t want. Clearly, this keeps most of them who want a VBAC from being able to pursue one. This scenario is repeated many many times across the country.
    As @ttcbabyodo stated, Research studies definitely do show the benefits of exposure to the birth canal and how it impacts a baby’s immune system. Scientists are working out how to expose babies born via cesarean to these same health benefits. Hopefully they’ll figure it out soon. 

    The WHO references suggested guidelines for countries to have a c-section rate between 5-15%. The US is more than double that recommendation. Clearly, many many doctors are performing unnecessary sections. Here’s a WHO report if anyone’s interested:


  • kmallskmalls
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited November 9
    @keikilove thanks for your acknowledgement. It's an extremely sensitive topic for me (clearly) and many other women. 

    I'm fortunate in that I do not view my childbirth experiences as anything "less than." It is what it is and I feel no shame. I'm also fortunate that I go to a very VBAC-friendly practice and they let me make my own decisions. I completely understand this is not reality for every single person out there.

    I still bristle, though, at conversations about c-sections that aren't necessarily nuanced. Avoiding a c-section should be everyone's goal, but to come in and state babies' immune systems are "royally fucked" without ALSO talking about how necessary many c-sections are only adds to the stigma and fear regarding this method of birth. There are already enough fears surrounding TTC, pregnancy and childbirth, and I'd hate for anyone to walk away from this conversation thinking they might somehow set their future children up for a lifetime of illness if they end up with a c-section. It's a delicate conversation that I believe warrants the inclusion of many different experiences. 
  • @kmalls Well said. I hear you.♥️
  • @the_road_to_oz and @NYTino24 thank you so much for sharing your stories <3
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