TW Tuesday 10/22

inthewoods23

Got any twat waffles in your life recently?

swizzlemalarkey

My H. He got all salty that I didn’t make him lunch to take to work today when I got home at 1:30 AM and he was home a couple hours earlier. Like I get that he’s been working 8-11 most days but he wasn’t that nice about asking to begin with so I wasn’t about to get up and do it. I’ll give him a pass on the housework but I told him if he wants the full housewife experience I need to not work 50+ hours a week. Period. Maybe I’m a TW too but he takes advantage sometimes and I’m not about it. 

kpearse99

@konoha good. for. you. - seriously!!  You are 100% correct - why are you, and most women in general, expected to just take care of everything (house related and children related) ON TOP of their already demanding jobs? Most households have both adults working... so everyone should be responsible for pitching in because everyone is tired and everyone wants to relax.

inthewoods23

@konoha the week after DH and I got married one of the cleaning crew ladies at his work asked if he now had a warm meal to come home to every night. Thanks stereotype 😐

DH cooks too thankful but he'll complain when I say we don't have this or that in the fridge because it's still frozen in the freezer. Men can grocery shop too you know! 🙄 It should be all on me to make sure the house is stocked, even though I'm the one that makes a point to go grocery shopping. I can't do it all!

swizzlemalarkey

@kpearse99 thank you!! I’m glad you agree. I feel exactly the same way. My moms ex-husband expected her to do everything in the house while he had his feet up (she worked full time) and it drove me insane any time I was there visiting. My MIL usually does hers and FIL’s lunches so maybe that’s what my H is used to? But it would be different if I was making myself a lunch already. I don’t because I eat at work or home. If I got home at a reasonable time i probably would have. He’s just unbelievable sometimes! 

mvt2003

Ugh sorry @konoha I feel your pain. I'm 100% responsible for food (for diet reasons, he will help with prep, but I handle all the decisions) and that would have made me cranky. I wish our divisions of labor were a little different overall! I've had this conversation with him, and he has made more of an effort recently, but I do feel like many of his "solutions" involve outsourcing the work, which is fine, but it ends up with me still running around handling the day to day stuff on my list while his stuff is the stuff that gets done digitally. 

modoodles

@konoha ouch. That would make me cranky. Tell him to pack a pop tart.

The pastor at our church is a TW. I've stopped going there because she is so rude. The kids still like to go on Wednesday nights, but now she wants them to fundraise; and she wants to do the exact same thing another group is doing- at the exact same time. Just, no. I told her I'm not having my kids do it because it is bad PR. I hate fundraisers to begin with, but this is dumb. Another parent pointed out the competition in fundraisers and her response was, "Well I don't see the issue, I want to start right away." Nope. 

meri-mac

@konoha Totally on board with you @kpearse99 & @mvt2003 ! My SIL told me an awful story about her ex-husband. Her son went to go pick up his socks off the livingroom floor and he said "Don't do that. That's your mother's job." I was speechless with rage. I never needed to ask why they got divorced.

kpearse99

@meri-mac Shut the front door!!!

That's a flipping joke, right?! I would have packed my bags right there on the spot!!

mvt2003

@meri-mac oh my god that is horrific. 

kpearse99

@meri-mac OR I would have 100% stopped doing ANY work around the house... I wouldn't do the dishes, I wouldn't do the laundry, I wouldn't pick up, I wouldn't vacuum.... 

inthewoods23

@kpearse99 I've threatened that before but I don't think my anxiety will let me live in filth like that 😖

kpearse99

@inthewoods23 oh, I would slowly die on the inside from OCD issues  Thankfully MH is not like that at all!!

b_1029

I was doing great at not having a TW today until my work day just ended with this dude going on and on and ON about how my other coworker and I shouldn’t have trouble getting to a 9 am meeting because we don’t have kids, and how we get to sleep in because we don’t have kids, and how we can go to the gym whenever we want because we don’t have kids, etc etc etc. It all started because they were talking about this 9 am meeting we all have and I made a comment like “lol it’s so sad how hard it is for me to get into the office for a 9 am”. At one point I mini exploded something about wishing I had kids or saying I can’t have kids but he was still talking so he didn’t hear me. 

now I’m just f*cking pissed off and considering saying something to him tomorrow. I don’t know if my other coworker is childless by choice and I kind of get the impression he’s not. Argh I’m so mad right now. I don’t think I’ve ever packed up my bag so quickly. As I try to figure out how I’m going to do an 11:45 am drop off and 1 pm IUI tomorrow when DH’s manager is a b*tch and is being difficult about letting him leave work on his last f*cking day and I have to move around several meetings to accommodate this but YES PLEASE TELL ME HOW EASY MY CHILDLESS LIFE IS

kpearse99

Oh @b_1029 I’m so sorry all of that happened and that you’re dealing with the stress of schedules for both you and YH. People get so wrapped up in their own drama that they never stop to think about others and the sheer fact that everyone is struggling with someone. Bottom line is that it’s none of his damn business why you can or can’t make it on time to a 9am meeting, having children has nothing to do with it. I’m glad you did blurt out something, I’m proud of you and i would have said something too... sucks that he didn’t really hear it though. See how you feel in the morning and if it’s still sitting wrong with you, say something to him. 

emeraldduchess

@b_1029 so many hugs. I am pissed at that coworker on your behalf. Definitely a major TW.

b_1029

@kpearse99 @emeraldduchess ❤️❤️❤️

inthewoods23

@b_1029 Jesus, 1 comment I can deal with, but PILING it on like that? F*ck him he deserves to be slapped in the face.

NYTino24

@b_1029 I hope you put him in his place. So self absorbed 

b_1029

@inthewoods23 I know! The one “and you guys don’t even have kids, it shouldn’t be hard for you to get here by 9” would’ve been annoying but fine but he just kept going on and on. I was staring lasers into my computer and immediately had a hot flash lol 

@NYTino24 I really am thinking of saying something tomorrow (via IM because I’m a baby and because I’m working at home in the AM so I can meet DH wherever for the sample.. #romance) in a non confrontational way. Just like listen can you please not because some people actually struggle with this, thanks 

mvt2003

@b_1029 I am so so sorry, friend. I hope karma hits him in the butt SO HARD. 

emeraldduchess

@b_1029 if you do say something, I hope he apologizes. 

My TW is the Peanuts gang. I'm watching "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" and these kids are being such little jerks to Charlie Brown and Linus. WTH is Lucy's problem?!?

charmedlifex3

@b_1029 Oh. My.  You win. 

This is my TW today.  

meri-mac

@b_1029 Oh...oh no. Like @mvt2003, I hope karma kicks that guy straight in the gut and punches him in the face. What an arrogant, presumptious, inconsiderate a**hat. So sorry he ruined your day

b_1029

Update... I’m too chicken to message the dude but I did IM the other guy who was there with me like “wow how awesome was that” and I was 100% correct in my suspicion that he’s not childless by choice. Makes me feel a little validated that I wasn’t the only one hurt / very annoyed by our coworker’s comments 

jennifer_louise

@b_1029 ugh that is such a sucky situation, and I'd probably chicken out on confronting him too. Any chance the other guy would call him out on it? 

swizzlemalarkey

@mvt2003 gotcha!! I completely agree with that. My H is the same. He does the finances so I think he feels that’s his way of contributing but like, a whole house and yard with two dogs is a lot of work!! 

@b_1029 I’m sorry you had to deal with that! Those kinds of comments are the pits  

b_1029

@jennifer_louise I spoke too soon and ended up doing it lol. It helps that I could do it over IM. He called me after I sent it and I nearly had a heart attack but he was very nice and apologetic. He said he was actually thinking that last night when he got home, like maybe I shouldn’t have said that. 

jennifer_louise

Good on you @b_1029! Hopefully it was an honest mistake but now he'll think twice before saying something hurtful. 

emeraldduchess

I'm proud of you for speaking up, @b_1029! Glad he called you and apologized. 

inthewoods23

@b_1029 beautifully worded! I'm glad he looked back at his words on his own and realized it may have been in poor taste.

mvt2003

I love that you said something @b_1029 hopefully he is more thoughtful about his words from now on!

I will add that I generally find that if someone says something hurtful like that it usually says more about them than me. For example, I found it very hurtful several years ago before I was married or even engaged when one of my older cousins commented on one of my FB statuses that I should "stay single". At the time I was like wtf does she think my boyfriend (now MH) is????!!! Later I discovered her marriage was incredibly unhappy and her H was cheating on her and was a secret alcoholic. It helps me to get through these situations sometimes by reframing them.  

inthewoods23

@mvt2003 I've been having moments like your cousin lately (not marriage stuff but just the fact that nothing really exciting has gone on for us for some time now). DH mentioned that his sister put an offer on a house and I was basically like "I don't f*cking care don't tell me that shit". I went off the rails in the car in that moment, but I shouldn't hate that she's moving on to a larger responsibility than an apartment.

But also I hate her BF, even if they are apparently a good match 🙄 he grates me in every way so part of my anger about the house thing is just because that's 1 step closer to having that stressor for the rest of my life instead of her finding someone more compatible with the family.

Maybe I'm a TW for saying this, but I'd rather not ever let them babysit even for a minute because I don't want their influence on my kids

mvt2003

@inthewoods23 It's completely understandable!!!! I would be less than thrilled about being one step closer to legally related with someone I hated! 

Maybe I'm the TW here, BUT I will say that if a relationship is less than solid nothing breaks a couple up faster than buying real estate together, so maybe there's still hope?!  

inthewoods23

@mvt2003 I'm not sure what the deal is now, but from what I know with the original talks of buying a house, it was SIL only buying the house just in case they break up or something.

She's been asked a number of times by my MIL if she wants to marry him and last I heard the answer was "I'm not sure" so I think that's also why I'm like wtf are you doing buying a house if you're not set on marrying him?? I mean DH is technically the only owner of our house which was bought before we married, but we did it only on his income so that we could still live and pay for the house in the event one of us loses our job and can survive for a time on one income. And also because we weren't sure if we could consider both our incomes for a loan being not married at the time.

mvt2003

@inthewoods23 If she's not 100% sure then I'm glad she's not putting his name on the house!!! We have a family friend who bought a house with his fiance across the street from his parents, they broke up, and she kept the house for a while! Awkwardddd! Now they're trying to sell it but they hate each other so much they keep sabotaging the open houses!  

inthewoods23

@mvt2003 omg that's a great story! Lol I would feel so awkward knowing if I look out my window I'd be looking at my ex's parent's house!

mvt2003

@inthewoods23 The details are even better tbh! It truly is a War of the Roses situation!