I always love going for Christmas at my in-laws every year, but this year I’m kinda meh and not overly excited as I should be this time around. *TW*
My SIL is due coming up soon in Feb with her first which I’m excited for her but still kinda sad, bitter and jealous... and this year everyone has decided to not buy any gifts for the adults and just the kids. Which is fine cause I really don’t need presents, however there isn’t that many kids to buy for besides my step daughter, my 1 little nephew and the “baby to be”. I’m sorry but after my loss last month Im really not overly eager to sit and watch my SIL & BIL open all their newborn baby presents. This will be a trigger for me and is heart wrenching as I would have been pregnant too with my little one and am now feeling left out 😥 end *TW*
@mindyb2019 so many hugs to you. It's so difficult to put on a smile during this time of year. There is so much emphasis on kids and families, a constant reminder of what we want but don't have. I feel like there's pressure for those of us struggling with loss/IF/depression/anxiety/illness to suck it up and deal(at least I know that's expected in my family). I don't blame you one bit for feeling the way you do. *TW*
I am constantly reminded that I should have a four month old this holiday season. I should be buying all the cute "my first Christmas" outfits, presents from Santa, etc. But I'm not and it hurts so much. Instead I'm hoping that any money I get for Christmas will pay for a round of letrozole and ovidrel in case insurance won't cover it this cycle. I don't think anyone in my or DH's family gets it, either. My cousin would, but she's in CA and I won't get to see her this year.
@mindyb2019@emeraldduchess hugs to you both. It’s a really tough time to be going through this stuff. I’m headed to my in-laws today and have been dreading it.
Pregnant SIL will be there. It’ll be the first time I see her since we got their news.
@mindyb2019@emeraldduchess Hugs to you both. People don't think about how emphasizing children during this season can make us feel like 2nd class citizens. I feel like my family is pretty indifferent to whether or not we make it to family gatherings, solely because we don't have grandchildren they want to see. But my sister absolutely *must* come to everything because the has my nephews. I'm not complaining about not being pressured to be places, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me feel like an afterthought.
@emeraldduchess thank you for the hugs. Hugs back to you also. ❤️ It is tough this time of year. I’m sorry that you have a constant reminder and that your family feels like you should just suck it up and deal. that’s harsh. I’m sorry that it hurts so much for you and that you also don’t get to see your cousin this year. Hang in their girl. You have every right to feel the way you feel around this time of year.
@keeponknittingon thank you. Hope your day at your in-laws goes ok. Sorry you have been dreading it. Hugs. I know how your feeling on the SIL.
@shoogapoff thanks. Aww, I’m so sorry you feel like an afterthought with your family because of your sister and your nephews. I don’t blame you. I would feel the same way. *Hugs*
@mindyb2019 Can you cut out early / get there late, and miss present opening? Especially since there won't be any family presents for your little family, it seems like that would be okay to protect your heart.
@the_road_to_oz I hear what your saying and I would love to cut out early but because everyone opens there presents together and waits for others to get their so we can all do it together etc I don’t think I could. MIL & FIL still bought us a few things. I think I just might go upstairs at the house and be by myself while they open their “certain” gifts that way I don’t have to see it and I protect my heart and I don’t offend or upset anyone by leaving early or coming late. *TW* It’s tough cause I haven’t told anyone of the family that we had a loss last month or were even trying so they wouldn’t even think that I would be affected by it all. end *TW*
mindyb2019 I'd recommend an emergency "not feeling well" LONG trip to the bathroom when they go to open their gifts.
@shoogapoff Yeah, the emphasis on kids and LOs is definitely strong this time of year. I personally hate it. Like you said, I feel like an empty vessel and 2nd class citizen. However, both my parents and my ILs expect us on Christmas Day at their houses (they live a few hours away from each other), so we're trying to go around everyone else's schedule, while my mom can't get off work certain days because "X Lady has grandkids and so she gets priority on the days she wants off at the holidays."
Count me in on the "2nd class citizens" group! I spend Christmas Eve every year at my ILs while everyone waits for BiL, SiL, and the LOs to arrive from her family's gathering. The evening literally begins when the LOs arrive.
I will be thinking of my friends who are also hurting on Christmas this year, keeping you in my thoughts and remembering you and your LOs.
me: 35 / so: 34 | ttc #1 since 9/2018
DX: MFI IVF Cycle #1 February 2020 4 embryos frozen, 1 fresh transfer = CP FET #1 Natural Cycle March 2020 CXL'd due to Covid-19 FET #1 Natural Cycle June 2020 - CP #2 FET #2 Natural Cycle July 2020 - BFP!!!!!! Beta #1 = 273
@capnjackharkness yesss. You read my mind girl. I was thinking the same thing about going for a “LONG” trip to the bathroom. It’s a good idea. If anyone asks if I’m ok I’ll just say:
@mindyb2019 "I should note, I'm having some digestive distress" -Sheldon Cooper
*TW* History:
Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016
TTC #1 since 7.2017 Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3| all BFN IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name" RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer 2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20 Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21 Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023 Consultation with RI | 6.6.23 Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56 Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox Repeat labs in 8 weeks Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues TTC put on pause
DX: MFI IVF Cycle #1 February 2020 4 embryos frozen, 1 fresh transfer = CP FET #1 Natural Cycle March 2020 CXL'd due to Covid-19 FET #1 Natural Cycle June 2020 - CP #2 FET #2 Natural Cycle July 2020 - BFP!!!!!! Beta #1 = 273
My brother who lives a plane ride away is visiting for Christmas. We told him we would take him to Bonefish Grill while he's here because they don't have any locations in AZ. He wants to know if it's better than Red Lobster 😆
It turns into asking if DH's will be there as his family wanted to get breakfast/dinner with him at a family restaurant we go to, but brothet got a new promotion so he's still working this week (who the hell does a conference call at 9am on Christmas Eve??) so no plans for a meal ever got made prior to today so we tried inviting DH's family to Bonefish with us so they could see him.
It's just dumb that DH's family is placing more importance on watching the Packer game tonight than making things work to get dinner with him. Even though we all know ILs could record it while we're out enjoying each other's company with my brother in town. 🙄
*TW* History:
Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016
TTC #1 since 7.2017 Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3| all BFN IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name" RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer 2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20 Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21 Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023 Consultation with RI | 6.6.23 Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56 Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox Repeat labs in 8 weeks Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues TTC put on pause
Looking for tips on how to handle my MIL: I last saw her right after thanksgiving. DH got a new puppy from my BIL whose dog had a litter. We visit MIL after picking up puppy. MIL says to FIL while DH and I listen: (pauses here for a ****TW***)
“We don’t get grandchildren. We get puppies”
End *TW* I almost cried on the spot. For context, we’ve been ttc since February and it’s really breaking me down. Not sure how to interact with her when I have to see her on Christmas. Any advice?
My heart goes out to all of you (I am new but have been lurking for a couple months now). This time of the year can be so difficult and it just feels extra complicated this year.
Wow!! Harsh..I’m soo sorry girl that your MIL said that. Hugs 💕 that’s so rude and inconsiderate. I would have definitely cried so kudos to you for not crying on the spot. I’m also sorry that TTC is breaking you down. It can definitely be a tough and emotional journey. Hmmm, as far as seeing your MIL on Christmas... Does she know you guys have been TTC since February and that your sensitive about it? Honestly, I would just kinda be quiet around her and not say much and if she asks what’s wrong or that you seem not yourself etc, I would pull her aside and say: look, I heard what you said and the comment you made and you really hurt my feelings and I don’t appreciate that and that it’s very hard for you to hear those type of comments.
@queenie_t Address it directly. “What you said was meant to be hurtful and passive aggressive. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Sorry they made that comment.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
Thanks! @mindyb2019 and @NYTino24 I think I will do that. It’s crazy that I never thought to address it with her directly, and instead I’m trying to figure out how to fit myself around her hurtful comments.
Hugs to anyone who is struggling like me this holiday season. Hoping you find some comfort!
I know I haven’t been active on this thread yet but I kind of need to rant. At a family function and my SIL and BIL have a 9month old and they keeping joking about how it’s been hard “not to get pregnant again” right now and that they’re going to give my Nephew a little sibling in a couple months etc they know I have PCOS and it’s kind of known that we’ve been trying for a while and yet they still keep doing this banter about how easy it was for her to get knocked up ugh I know I sound horrible but I almost don’t want to be around my nephew because it just reminds me about our troubles ttc
@tryingktogku aww, I’m so very sorry that they keep doing this horrible banter about how easy it is for them to get knocked up even though they know you have been trying for a while etc. That’s ignorant since there aware of your struggle. Sending you hugs💕 I don’t blame you for feeling that way about being around your nephew seeing how it’s a constant reminder for you. Do what you feel is best for you and your heart.
@tryingtogku My reply would be, “Oh, I feel so sorry for you. It must be so difficult dealing with being so fertile.” That should shut them up.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
@NYTino24 that would have been a good one. It’s just so awkward when stuff like that happens like what am I supposed to say? So happy you’re not having the troubles we are lol
@tryingktogku I'm annoyed when people make comments about how easy it is to get pregnant. I think that a lot of people just speak before they even think about what they are really saying.
I feel like I just want to stay in my little bubble for Christmas because there are announcements everywhere, and I would rather not hear or see them right now.
@tryingktogku ugh, I am so sorry you had to deal with their comments. That is so insensitive (and mean, IMHO) to make jokes about that around you. I like @NYTino24 's response.
@keeponknittingon man, I hate when you think you're going to avoid the topic, then BAM. So sorry.
AFM, I made it through Christmas Eve and Christmas Day without seeing any announcements or being asked if/when we're having kids. *TW LC and loss*
I spent lots of time playing with my 1 year old nephew who I am just loving to pieces. My heart will always hurt from losing my babies, but I am absolutely slaying the auntie game. I hope more than anything that by this time next year I'll have my own LO and I can watch them play together.
If there is some sort of higher being in this universe I must have royally pissed them off... TW for pg
Tonight I found out that my cousin who is quite a bit younger than me is pregnant again. So now that’s - one SIL, at least two of MH’s cousins and my cousin all pregnant the year we’re finally able to try. WTSF. I’m afraid to find out who else is going to announce.
@tryingktogku I’m so sorry they’re being so insensitive. I don’t understand people.
@emeraldduchess *hugs* I hope this coming year will be kinder and you will have that next Xmas.
@keeponknittingon I know that feeling all too well. The past year and a half that we have been ttc, it seems like everyone else is getting KU. Often it does feel like a cruel trick of the universe. Hugs to you.
@keeponknittingon Sorry, that sucks. I just don’t get why people feel the need to announce on holidays. I used to think it was convenient to have a theme and now I know it hurts people more.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
Me: 34 DH: 36 | Together since 2007 | Married July 2016
TTC #1 since 7.2017 Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3| all BFN IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name" RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer 2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20 Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21 Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023 Consultation with RI | 6.6.23 Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56 Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox Repeat labs in 8 weeks Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues TTC put on pause
queenie_t Ugh, I hope the talk with MIL went well. What a passive-aggressive thing to say.
I survived. Sorta. My younger sister told me she's 8 weeks PG and due in August. So I'm trying to cope with that. They got married in Sept and were going to start trying right away due to all the issues myself and some of her friends had. So it wasn't totally unexpected, but I just thought I'd have more time. But apparently my sister is a special 1 or 2 cycle unicorn while I'm a barren hag with a hostile uterus. *le sigh* Her first OB appt isn't for another week and although she's not concerned about it, I am. So now I've got all the feels on so many levels. I'm just trying to emotionally process through it all right now I guess.
@capnjackharkness Oh I'm so sorry! I always have anxiety when people say they're starting to try, because I know they'll likely "beat" me, and somehow knowing that timeline makes it so much worse. And of course you want good things for your sister, so the complicated emotions are all over the place! Did she at least tell you in an empathetic way?
My mother in law's new husband asked me when my biological clock expires. I was like I think the dog is having a hard time with all the people and we both should go somewhere quiet for a while. I was nervous about the holiday but that comment coming from him was from left field. Trust me- I wish we had some news, but we don't. We haven't been open about our journey, but the rest of the family was like oh that was inappropriate.
My mom keeps saying that a new decade will start soon, so wishing the best for all of us in the new year!
Re: Holiday Support Thread 2019
*TW*
Pregnant SIL will be there. It’ll be the first time I see her since we got their news.
@keeponknittingon thank you. Hope your day at your in-laws goes ok. Sorry you have been dreading it. Hugs. I know how your feeling on the SIL.
@shoogapoff thanks. Aww, I’m so sorry you feel like an afterthought with your family because of your sister and your nephews. I don’t blame you. I would feel the same way. *Hugs*
@shoogapoff Yeah, the emphasis on kids and LOs is definitely strong this time of year. I personally hate it. Like you said, I feel like an empty vessel and 2nd class citizen. However, both my parents and my ILs expect us on Christmas Day at their houses (they live a few hours away from each other), so we're trying to go around everyone else's schedule, while my mom can't get off work certain days because "X Lady has grandkids and so she gets priority on the days she wants off at the holidays."
I will be thinking of my friends who are also hurting on Christmas this year, keeping you in my thoughts and remembering you and your LOs.
IVF Cycle #1 February 2020 4 embryos frozen, 1 fresh transfer = CP
FET #1 Natural Cycle March 2020 CXL'd due to Covid-19
FET #1 Natural Cycle June 2020 - CP #2
FET #2 Natural Cycle July 2020 - BFP!!!!!! Beta #1 = 273
June Signature Challenge - Favorite TV Quotes
ETA: Brie, too. ALL the brie.
TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC put on pause
IVF Cycle #1 February 2020 4 embryos frozen, 1 fresh transfer = CP
FET #1 Natural Cycle March 2020 CXL'd due to Covid-19
FET #1 Natural Cycle June 2020 - CP #2
FET #2 Natural Cycle July 2020 - BFP!!!!!! Beta #1 = 273
June Signature Challenge - Favorite TV Quotes
@mindyb2019 Bahahaha! That'd shut them up!
My brother who lives a plane ride away is visiting for Christmas. We told him we would take him to Bonefish Grill while he's here because they don't have any locations in AZ. He wants to know if it's better than Red Lobster 😆
It turns into asking if DH's will be there as his family wanted to get breakfast/dinner with him at a family restaurant we go to, but brothet got a new promotion so he's still working this week (who the hell does a conference call at 9am on Christmas Eve??) so no plans for a meal ever got made prior to today so we tried inviting DH's family to Bonefish with us so they could see him.
It's just dumb that DH's family is placing more importance on watching the Packer game tonight than making things work to get dinner with him. Even though we all know ILs could record it while we're out enjoying each other's company with my brother in town. 🙄
TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC put on pause
I last saw her right after thanksgiving. DH got a new puppy from my BIL whose dog had a litter. We visit MIL after picking up puppy. MIL says to FIL while DH and I listen: (pauses here for a ****TW***)
“We don’t get grandchildren. We get puppies”
End *TW* I almost cried on the spot. For context, we’ve been ttc since February and it’s really breaking me down. Not sure how to interact with her when I have to see her on Christmas. Any advice?
Wow!! Harsh..I’m soo sorry girl that your MIL said that. Hugs 💕 that’s so rude and inconsiderate. I would have definitely cried so kudos to you for not crying on the spot. I’m also sorry that TTC is breaking you down. It can definitely be a tough and emotional journey. Hmmm, as far as seeing your MIL on Christmas... Does she know you guys have been TTC since February and that your sensitive about it? Honestly, I would just kinda be quiet around her and not say much and if she asks what’s wrong or that you seem not yourself etc, I would pull her aside and say: look, I heard what you said and the comment you made and you really hurt my feelings and I don’t appreciate that and that it’s very hard for you to hear those type of comments.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
I think I will do that. It’s crazy that I never thought to address it with her directly, and instead I’m trying to figure out how to fit myself around her hurtful comments.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
I feel like I just want to stay in my little bubble for Christmas because there are announcements everywhere, and I would rather not hear or see them right now.
@keeponknittingon man, I hate when you think you're going to avoid the topic, then BAM. So sorry.
AFM, I made it through Christmas Eve and Christmas Day without seeing any announcements or being asked if/when we're having kids. *TW LC and loss*
TW for pg
@emeraldduchess *hugs* I hope this coming year will be kinder and you will have that next Xmas.
@keeponknittingon ugh.. I’m so very sorry. Sending you hugs ❤️ It’s been a tough Christmas for you.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC put on pause
I survived. Sorta. My younger sister told me she's 8 weeks PG and due in August. So I'm trying to cope with that. They got married in Sept and were going to start trying right away due to all the issues myself and some of her friends had. So it wasn't totally unexpected, but I just thought I'd have more time. But apparently my sister is a special 1 or 2 cycle unicorn while I'm a barren hag with a hostile uterus. *le sigh* Her first OB appt isn't for another week and although she's not concerned about it, I am. So now I've got all the feels on so many levels. I'm just trying to emotionally process through it all right now I guess.
My mom keeps saying that a new decade will start soon, so wishing the best for all of us in the new year!