Holiday Support Thread 2019 - Page 3 — The Bump
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Holiday Support Thread 2019

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Re: Holiday Support Thread 2019

  • @emeraldduchess yes! It was just like IRL pretty Peggy bingo. 🤷‍♀️😆
    Image result for Christmas tree meme cat


    ssblmisshelen86ziggymama06capnjackharkness
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  • @the_road_to_oz and @notagoodpatient. I'm sorry you had this happen, especially from family.  Ugh...  

    @the_road_to_oz Wow, just wow. That's unbelievable all that happened in one day.  So sorry... sending hugs ❤ 

    @ssbl  While it's totally normal to feel that way (I definitely have and not proud of it)... don't be hard on yourself.  It's really an emotional time TTC and your feelings are valid.  I try to make light of my feelings like I'm 60% happy and 40% jealous (like from Friends when Monica was getting married).  Hang in there girl... and you're absolutely not a sh*tty person 💗
    Me: 33  DH: 35
    Dating 4/2008
    Home Purchase 3/2010
    Married 6/2016
    TTC #1:  9/2019
    keikilovessblemeraldduchessttcbabyodo
  • @ssbl your definitely not alone in your feelings. I too myself have been jealous and slightly bitter of loved ones, friends etc (not proud of it either) but... sadly when TTC it’s a normal common feeling. Don't beat yourself up too hard girl. Your not a sh*tty person. 

    @ziggymama06 60-40 girl.. 60-40 😉 
    ziggymama06keikilovessbl
  • Saw this in my FBNF. 
    It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*


    Me: 36 DH 35 
    TTC  9/2016     BFP 12/9/16    EDD 8/21/17    NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
    TTC  2/2017  BFP 3/6/17   EDD 11/17/17   DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
    TTC 12/2018   BFP 6/2/19   EDD 2/12/20  NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
    RE appointment 8/20
    TTC 7/2019   BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
    TTC 8/19    IUI  w/ Clomid + trigger + progesterone 10/19

    AMA, ITP in pregnancy, and vWD type II - low Factor VIII
    ssblziggymama06mindyb2019capnjackharkness
  • ssblssbl
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    member
    @inthewoods23 Ugh, that sucks, I’m sorry. Playing that card was really living up to the game’s tagline (for those who don’t know, it’s “a party game for horrible people”).

    Married: June 2017

    Me: 34 / H: 34

    TTC #1: March 2019

  • @inthewoods23 That’s HORRIBLE! Do you know who used it? Do they know what you’re going through?
    It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*


    Me: 36 DH 35 
    TTC  9/2016     BFP 12/9/16    EDD 8/21/17    NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
    TTC  2/2017  BFP 3/6/17   EDD 11/17/17   DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
    TTC 12/2018   BFP 6/2/19   EDD 2/12/20  NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
    RE appointment 8/20
    TTC 7/2019   BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
    TTC 8/19    IUI  w/ Clomid + trigger + progesterone 10/19

    AMA, ITP in pregnancy, and vWD type II - low Factor VIII
  • @inthewoods23 OMG that's awful. I am glad that you said something! That was so mean and inappropriate.  


    Married: Spring 2009
    TTC #1: July 2018
    *TW*
    BFP 12/7/18, EDD 8/20/19
    CP 12/17/18 @ 5 weeks, 1 day
    BFP 7/1/19, CP confirmed 7/3/19
    First RE consult 5/2019
    Hycosy: All clear!
    Unexplained RPL/IF
    TTGP November Signature Challenge: Dessert Fails

  • @inthewoods23 I would be pissed. I'm so sorry about the insensitivity. 
    *TW*
    Me: 23 Dh: 45
    Married: 10.2018
    DS #1: 06.2014
    Hyperemesis Gravidarum, Emergency C-Section
    MC: 03.2017- 5 Weeks
    Rainbow DS #2: 07.2018
    Hyperemesis Gravidarum, Fetal Surgery, PPROM, Placental Abruption, Partial Uterine Rupture, Emergency C-Section
    NICU, Chronic Kidney Disease
    TTC #3: Medically Cleared 12.5.2019

    December 2019 TTGP Signature Challenge: Holiday Decor Fails/Extreme Decor





  • @NYTino24 I know my SIL played it. I'm not really sure what angle she had that made it funny to her, but it was funny to her. She didn't say much explanation for her choice. I think being the game it is its kind of like.. implying you're contraception because you're ugly? If that makes sense.

    The way I was talking, I don't think I sounded upset, but more of a wow that was a really offensive joke.
    TTGP December Siggy Challege - Extreme Holiday Decor/Holiday Decor Fails


    Me: 30 DH:32

    Together since 2007
    Married 7/2/16

    TTC #1 since 7/2017
    Dx: unexplained, low morph

    IUI #1-3 all BFN

    IVF #1 - 6/11/19
    24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys

    FET #1 - 9/10/19
    Best male not viable after thaw, used boy #2 (both graded 5BB)
    Beta 9/20/19....BFN
    "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"

    FET #2 - Tentatively February or March 2020 after loss, ERA, and Receptiva testing 

  • OMG @inthewoods23 you are a better person than I am. I would have went off on her. Or, at the very least, just left the room and said I was done playing. That was a really low blow.

    @ssbl I agree with @mindyb2019 - don't be too hard on yourself. Whenever I get to beating myself up for being a Negative Nancy over someone else's pregnancy story, I remind myself that I am human and it's possible for me to feel both happy for them and sad for me. I fully believe in embracing the dark part of ourselves (our "shadow self") as part of our whole being. I am an extremely joyful, enthusiastic, cheerful person, but I also get sad, angry, hurt, and mean too. And that's 100% okay. That makes me whole.
    Me: 35 / DH: 39
    TTC #1 since May 2019
    MMC - Oct. 2019 (10 weeks)


    ssblmindyb2019
  • @notagoodpatient ugh, so sorry a family member asked that and then made a big deal about you not drinking! People can be so insensitive! Hope the rest of your weekend was better! 
    @the_road_to_oz oh friend, I am so sorry you had to deal with ALL of that in one day! I hope Pumpkin is bringing you some joy...you definitely deserve it!! 
    @ssbl your feelings of jealousy are totally normal! I have the happy/sad feelings...I’m happy for them, but sad for me! I hope your happy is right around the corner! 
    @inthewoods23 ugh, so sorry your SIL did that...that was definitely not nice even if she was just trying to be funny! I hope the rest of your weekend went a little more smoothly! Sending hugs your way! 💜
    ssblthe_road_to_oz
  • ssblssbl
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    member
    Thanks, all. Reason #2848583 you guys are awesome and I’m happy I came here. 

    Married: June 2017

    Me: 34 / H: 34

    TTC #1: March 2019

    ziggymama06mindyb2019gladmamma
  • UUUGGGGGGHHHHH

    So DH loaded something off his chest a little while ago. At some point yesterday (he thinks, he can't remember when exactly but he hasn't been feeling great for a few days) his sister offered to be a surrogate for us. LIKE WHAT.

    I get where it comes from though. My MIL says she felt great in all her pregnancies and they had at some point looked into doing surrogacy since she enjoyed it so much. And MIL chats up SIL basically daily so of course SIL would know about our problem and the 2 of them probably came up with the idea together. Also makes my Cards Against Humanity story very interesting.

    I absolutely despise people knowing our business and it's actually pretty upsetting to me that their conversation/offer even occurred. 😞

    I already have enough anxiety about this biopsy in a month. And now I'm tearing up because all the thoughts about this have flooded my brain and are going to be a pain to get out of my head leading to just more anxiety 😩
    TTGP December Siggy Challege - Extreme Holiday Decor/Holiday Decor Fails


    Me: 30 DH:32

    Together since 2007
    Married 7/2/16

    TTC #1 since 7/2017
    Dx: unexplained, low morph

    IUI #1-3 all BFN

    IVF #1 - 6/11/19
    24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys

    FET #1 - 9/10/19
    Best male not viable after thaw, used boy #2 (both graded 5BB)
    Beta 9/20/19....BFN
    "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"

    FET #2 - Tentatively February or March 2020 after loss, ERA, and Receptiva testing 

  • Wow, @inthewoods23. I am so sorry. I don't blame you for being upset by that. That would bother me too, knowing that family members were having discussions like that about something that is so personal and sensitive. Lots of hugs to you, my friend. 
    Married: Spring 2009
    TTC #1: July 2018
    *TW*
    BFP 12/7/18, EDD 8/20/19
    CP 12/17/18 @ 5 weeks, 1 day
    BFP 7/1/19, CP confirmed 7/3/19
    First RE consult 5/2019
    Hycosy: All clear!
    Unexplained RPL/IF
    TTGP November Signature Challenge: Dessert Fails

  • @inthewoods23 I’m so sorry! I would not be happy about family discussing my uterus either! I’m with you, if your SIL knows about your all’s journey (which she apparently does), that was even worse that she played that card! Maybe YH can talk to his family and let them know you all would appreciate them just staying out of it...even if it is hopefully coming from a place of love! Sending hugs your way! 💜
    capnjackharkness
  • @bluetickgal I don't even know how much they actually know. DH has slipped at least once by saying "if we have kids" but I'm pretty sure going into any detail is the last thing he would do so I think they are making some wild assumptions right now that my uterus is the problem. But it's possible the conversation may have actually gone something like "I would like to offer being a surrogate if it comes to that" to give us the last resort option without knowing where we are at in testing or treatment. And yeah it's probably coming from a place of support but I have a hard enough time seeing PG people and I doubt I would feel any better seeing her, someone I don't always like, PG with our own kid.

    I briefly looked into the requirements to be a surrogate and my SIL doesn't even qualify - she's never had her own child and she's not in a healthy BMI range so it just feels like an even weirder offer.
    TTGP December Siggy Challege - Extreme Holiday Decor/Holiday Decor Fails


    Me: 30 DH:32

    Together since 2007
    Married 7/2/16

    TTC #1 since 7/2017
    Dx: unexplained, low morph

    IUI #1-3 all BFN

    IVF #1 - 6/11/19
    24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys

    FET #1 - 9/10/19
    Best male not viable after thaw, used boy #2 (both graded 5BB)
    Beta 9/20/19....BFN
    "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"

    FET #2 - Tentatively February or March 2020 after loss, ERA, and Receptiva testing 

    capnjackharknessbluetickgal
  • @inthewoods23 - Ughhh that is so uncalled for since you and your husband have not specifically been talking to her about IF. And the cards against humanity card OMG. I am livid for you.
  • @inthewoods23&nbsp; Ugh, I'm so sorry!  I truly hate people knowing my personal business too, especially something that intimate without you sharing it!  A bland comment like "if we have kids" does not even translate to "we are trying", let alone looking for a surrogate.  She 1000% should not have played that card given this... what a wench!  Sending hugs   <3
    Me: 33  DH: 35
    Dating 4/2008
    Home Purchase 3/2010
    Married 6/2016
    TTC #1:  9/2019
    capnjackharkness
  • @inthewoods23 oh sweet friend, I am feeling alllllll of the emotions for you. 1. I agree the surrogate "offer" probably came from an uninformed but ultimately nice place, although it was severely misplaced at the moment. I actually had a similar offer made a while back that made me SUPER irritated, so I totally understand your displeasure. I also absolutely despise knowing that people are talking about my uterus! People need to stay out of our freaking reproductive organs! 

    2. You've just nailed why I no longer enjoy playing Cards Against Humanity. I was playing in a mixed group and had the worst card thrown for me (the one that when we bought our set, MH ripped it up so it would never get used, "dead parents" since both of mine are in fact dead) by a friend's brother. I held it together and have not played since. 
    me: 34 / so: 34 | ttc #1 since 9/2018

    December Signature Challenge - Extreme Holiday Decor/ Decoration Fails:


  • @inthewoods23 gotcha! Well, hopefully they won’t keep speculating (or at least will keep their comments to themselves). I often wonder how much my family talks about us when we aren’t around...we made it clear from the beginning that we want kids, and I’m sure they are starting to wonder since there hasn’t been an announcement yet! 
  • @bluetickgal we do st. Nick with DH's family too and I'm almost considering not going over to see what's in my stocking. So much about DH's family is triggering so I'd rather avoid when I can.
    TTGP December Siggy Challege - Extreme Holiday Decor/Holiday Decor Fails


    Me: 30 DH:32

    Together since 2007
    Married 7/2/16

    TTC #1 since 7/2017
    Dx: unexplained, low morph

    IUI #1-3 all BFN

    IVF #1 - 6/11/19
    24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys

    FET #1 - 9/10/19
    Best male not viable after thaw, used boy #2 (both graded 5BB)
    Beta 9/20/19....BFN
    "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"

    FET #2 - Tentatively February or March 2020 after loss, ERA, and Receptiva testing 

  • @inthewoods23 I’m sorry! I say you have to do what’s best for you, even if that means skipping out on something. 
  • ssblssbl
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    member
    @inthewoods23 I agree with @bluetickgal. After all, avoiding events are amendments 3 and 4 on the bill of rights @nytino24 posted.

    Married: June 2017

    Me: 34 / H: 34

    TTC #1: March 2019

    NYTino24inthewoods23
  • @emeraldduchess eww that's so gross and weird! DH did joke that we'll tell them when they're born. Probably can't go that long, but we're definitely taking the stance of wanting to enjoy finally getting pregnant until we're ready to let others know. What might be most awkward is that I would be more than happy to tell it to my family fairly early (like 6 or 8 weeks), but feeling all this judgement from DH's family just makes us want to put it off for them.

    Also because my MIL can't keep a secret. The day we got engaged she had posted on FB "big news in the [family] compound!" almost immediately, which of course had everyone commenting who got married/pregnant/had a baby. I was not given the chance to just enjoy the moment.

    People also got really uptight about me not changing my name on FB right away and apparently saying I was going to do it once I had gone through the process of changing my SSN card and driver's license wasn't good enough. Just... Really? And then of course I get the "I'm still not used to seeing your name that way" once I did change it in FB 🙄😑
    TTGP December Siggy Challege - Extreme Holiday Decor/Holiday Decor Fails


    Me: 30 DH:32

    Together since 2007
    Married 7/2/16

    TTC #1 since 7/2017
    Dx: unexplained, low morph

    IUI #1-3 all BFN

    IVF #1 - 6/11/19
    24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys

    FET #1 - 9/10/19
    Best male not viable after thaw, used boy #2 (both graded 5BB)
    Beta 9/20/19....BFN
    "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"

    FET #2 - Tentatively February or March 2020 after loss, ERA, and Receptiva testing 

    bluetickgalemeraldduchessziggymama06
  • Jeez @inthewoods23 your ILs seem... fun... let’s go with that...

    I would absolutely keep whatever information you want to to yourself! It’s your body, your family, and your decision 💕
    me: 34 / so: 34 | ttc #1 since 9/2018

    December Signature Challenge - Extreme Holiday Decor/ Decoration Fails:


    ssblziggymama06
  • @inthewoods23 yeah, my mom also went through fertility treatments, so I think she feels like she can ask those questions and assumes that I would want to talk about it.
    Married: Spring 2009
    TTC #1: July 2018
    *TW*
    BFP 12/7/18, EDD 8/20/19
    CP 12/17/18 @ 5 weeks, 1 day
    BFP 7/1/19, CP confirmed 7/3/19
    First RE consult 5/2019
    Hycosy: All clear!
    Unexplained RPL/IF
    TTGP November Signature Challenge: Dessert Fails

  • ssblssbl
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    member
    Just don’t want this thread to get lost on page two. How is everyone doing? Thinking of you ladies and sending all the good vibes your way. ❤️

    Married: June 2017

    Me: 34 / H: 34

    TTC #1: March 2019

    pom9207keeponknittingon
  • pom9207pom9207
    250 Love Its 10 Comments Photogenic Name Dropper
    member
    I deleted all my social media apps on my phone. Yay!!! Our work computer doesn’t have access to social media websites, so now I am 100% free from unwanted news on these platforms.
    Me: 27 DH: 29
    Married: 2016
    TTC #1 8.18
    Letrozole 5mg 5.19, 6.19 and 7.19 - All BFN
    natural cycle IUI #1 10.19 BFN
    First RE visit 11.19
    Clomid 50mg + IUI#2 11.19
    keeponknittingonssblemeraldduchessinthewoods23
  • @ssbl I’m way behind but wanted to say you’re definitely not alone in your feelings. I’m in the same boat with one of my SILs. I hate that I feel this way but I can’t seem to turn it off. I’m dreading the holiday get togethers with them and my side of the family. TW for lc mention and rant that can be skipped:

    Shortly after their announcement came we went to my parents (not their DIL) and they kept wanting to talk about how great it was and didn’t get my not so subtle cues that I didn’t want to talk about it. Knowing them, Christmas will be a repeat of that.  I haven’t told them we’re trying bc my mom would very likely be asking for updates all the time. 

    Plus we waited so long for employment reasons to ttc#2. It sucks that their timing overlapped with our trying. DH’s side of the family is quite large. The last couple years there’s only been 2 babies. Now that we’re trying, there are 3 next year already and I suspect there may be at least one other. I opted to skip their early family Christmas party to avoid it all. 

    ssbl
  • @keeponknittingon I am so sorry your parents weren't picking up on your hints that you didn't want to talk about it. I hope Christmas isn't a repeat of that. I don't blame you for opting out of some festivities either. Sometimes you just have to protect your heart. 
    Married: Spring 2009
    TTC #1: July 2018
    *TW*
    BFP 12/7/18, EDD 8/20/19
    CP 12/17/18 @ 5 weeks, 1 day
    BFP 7/1/19, CP confirmed 7/3/19
    First RE consult 5/2019
    Hycosy: All clear!
    Unexplained RPL/IF
    TTGP November Signature Challenge: Dessert Fails

    keeponknittingonpom9207
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