October Mental Health Check-In — The Bump
Trying to Get Pregnant

October Mental Health Check-In

Thought we could maybe pick back up on these with the upcoming holidays and other seasonal struggles people deal with going into the cooler months.

U.S: National Suicide Prevention :  1-800-273-TALK [8255]
Link to Canadian Resources:  https://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/

This is a safe place for more detailed support in mental health, struggles, and successes.  Whereas general stress and issues are often discussed in R/R of dailies, this place is for a more focused discussion of the impact of mental health.  Members are encouraged to use thoughtfulness and depth to examine feelings, barriers, and useful supports. 

This post can be replied to at any time during the month. Not limited to those with a mental health diagnosis, but please be sensitive to others. We will attempt to be as flame free as possible!

Feel free to share, vent, or support other members on this thread. Share a picture/gif that expresses how you feel or provides some comfort. 

If you need help getting started, consider filling out the form below:

Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?:

Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):

How are you feeling?

Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)
TTGP October Siggy Challege - Hocus Pocus, Beeches!


Me: 30 DH:32

Together since 2007
Married 7/2/16

TTC #1 since 7/2017
Dx: unexplained but low morph

IUI #1-3 all BFN

IVF #1 - 6/11/19
24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys

FET #1 - 9/10/19
Best male not viable after thaw, used boy #2 (both graded 5BB)
Beta 9/20/19....BFN
"I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"

FET #2 - Tentatively January 2020 after loss, ERA, and Receptiva testing 


emeraldduchess

Re: October Mental Health Check-In

  • Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?:
    I had a thought that has me feeling bummed out and I want it off my chest. Considering getting some medication or help for anxiety

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):
    WTO

    How are you feeling?
    I thought about my loss embryos and now I feel no joy 😢 I'm usually fine but I think if I think about any aspect of the FET I sort of end up in negative mode.

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)
    We'll see what my RE says tomorrow when I ask how stress or mental health can affect our success even with this all medically controlled. I know DH really doesn't want me on medication since he feels I just need to learn methods of coping, but I'm not so sure all of it is event specific. I think I'm just naturally anxious and always have been so just telling me to learn to not react to things just doesn't work because my default doesn't allow for that.

    I'm not sure I'm ready to spend time talking with someone in sessions. I'm not sure how that can help. 🤷‍♀️
    TTGP October Siggy Challege - Hocus Pocus, Beeches!


    Me: 30 DH:32

    Together since 2007
    Married 7/2/16

    TTC #1 since 7/2017
    Dx: unexplained but low morph

    IUI #1-3 all BFN

    IVF #1 - 6/11/19
    24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys

    FET #1 - 9/10/19
    Best male not viable after thaw, used boy #2 (both graded 5BB)
    Beta 9/20/19....BFN
    "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"

    FET #2 - Tentatively January 2020 after loss, ERA, and Receptiva testing 


    konoha
  • Oh hey - I will be quite active here. It's a big part of my life.

    Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?:
    PTSD, OCD, and a dissociative disorder

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):
    TWW

    How are you feeling?:
    I'm pretty good today.

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.). 
    I go to therapy twice a week. I was able to get off of all of my medications last fall, and I have not needed to go back on them. That's a pretty huge win. Came close when we moved, but made it through.

    I actually just had therapy today. It was an OK session, but I'm feeling pretty guarded about feeling anything right now.

    @inthewoods23 there are definitely medications you can take while TTC that are non-habit forming. My best advice (as someone who was put on benzos for a long time and then had to go through withdrawal from them....a hell I do not wish on anyone...and my brain is permanently changed from that experience), is to do some research and know what you do and do not want. E.g., I don't suggest benzos. But, I am biased.

    As for therapy -- it's hard. It's hard because therapy doesn't really "fix" things -- it provides a place for you to process the stuff going on in your head and in your life. It gives you someone on your team -- someone you can process things with so that you are not alone. It's tough because finding someone you genuinely click with can take time, and there are certainly risks. There are also options like group therapy or therapist-led support groups. But, it's entirely up to you when you feel or if you ever feel like you need that assistance in processing and carrying your burden.
    ~~Signature Trigger Warning~~

    Me: 32; Him: 36
    Married: Oct 20, 2013
    BFP 1: Aug 31, 2015
    EDD 1: May 12, 2016
    DD1 Emma born May 12, 2016
    An Honest Account of New Motherhood (with Postpartum Anxiety, Depression, and OCD)

    BFP 2: October 07, 2019
    EDD 2: June 20, 2020


    konoha
  • Loading the player...
  • @saladflambe that's really helpful advice about therapy! Maybe my hesitation is that I don't really want to have a session to talk about something upsetting when I'm feeling good and in a happy mood. I'd like to talk to someone but only when I want to. I feel like recurring appointments to talk about things just keeps me in the past and I don't want to be there.

    Much to think about!
    TTGP October Siggy Challege - Hocus Pocus, Beeches!


    Me: 30 DH:32

    Together since 2007
    Married 7/2/16

    TTC #1 since 7/2017
    Dx: unexplained but low morph

    IUI #1-3 all BFN

    IVF #1 - 6/11/19
    24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys

    FET #1 - 9/10/19
    Best male not viable after thaw, used boy #2 (both graded 5BB)
    Beta 9/20/19....BFN
    "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"

    FET #2 - Tentatively January 2020 after loss, ERA, and Receptiva testing 


  • @inthewoods23 lol I literally said this exact thing to my therapist today! Like, verbatim!

    I don't have a real answer to that one 'cus I wound up talking about sh*tty stuff anyways despite feeling good today lol. But, we worked through it. I went from feeling good to feeling crappy to feeling good again -- in sort of a more peaceful way though in the end, I guess. Like being briefly seen...
    ~~Signature Trigger Warning~~

    Me: 32; Him: 36
    Married: Oct 20, 2013
    BFP 1: Aug 31, 2015
    EDD 1: May 12, 2016
    DD1 Emma born May 12, 2016
    An Honest Account of New Motherhood (with Postpartum Anxiety, Depression, and OCD)

    BFP 2: October 07, 2019
    EDD 2: June 20, 2020


  • Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: Depression, anxiety, history with eating disorder (anorexia)

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):
    WTO but I *think* it may have happened late last night/early this AM. 

    How are you feeling? Not in the TWW yet, so I feel ok. There's also a huge sense of relief that we will have assistance next cycle if this one is a bust. 

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.) On meds 

    @inthewoods23 thanks for getting this started! I was thinking with the holidays approaching, we could all use some extra support. 
    RE:meds, there are lots of meds that are completely safe to take while TTC and during pregnancy.  Both my primary care and my RE have said that our mental health HAS to be a priority. I went through a long stretch where I tried to go without meds and it was hell for me. It took me a long time to accept that my mental health struggles are due to a chemical imbalance. That being said, the decision to take medication is incredibly personal and I don't judge anyone who feels it's not right for them. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about how I manage my depression/anxiety or my medication. 

    @saladflambe that's amazing that you have come so far in therapy. I really feel like I should work with a counselor, but at the same time, I fear being judged. I had a bad experience with a counselor who said some things to me that made me feel like I was wasting her time. 
    Married: Spring 2009
    TTC #1: July 2018
    *TW*
    BFP 12/7/18, EDD 8/20/19
    CP 12/17/18 @ 5 weeks, 1 day
    BFP 7/1/19, CP confirmed 7/3/19
    First RE consult 5/2019
    HyCoSy: all clear! Moving on to testing for RPL
    TTGP October Signature Challenge: Hocus Pocus, Betches!




  • @emeraldduchess do I have to see a psychologist to get meds or can I get that from a regular doctor? A lot of my delay in really getting myself help is that I don't know where to go or how to get started!
    TTGP October Siggy Challege - Hocus Pocus, Beeches!


    Me: 30 DH:32

    Together since 2007
    Married 7/2/16

    TTC #1 since 7/2017
    Dx: unexplained but low morph

    IUI #1-3 all BFN

    IVF #1 - 6/11/19
    24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys

    FET #1 - 9/10/19
    Best male not viable after thaw, used boy #2 (both graded 5BB)
    Beta 9/20/19....BFN
    "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"

    FET #2 - Tentatively January 2020 after loss, ERA, and Receptiva testing 


  • Big big hug @tyrion_
    My heart hurt reading that. I don't think your anxiety is silly at all.
    ~~Signature Trigger Warning~~

    Me: 32; Him: 36
    Married: Oct 20, 2013
    BFP 1: Aug 31, 2015
    EDD 1: May 12, 2016
    DD1 Emma born May 12, 2016
    An Honest Account of New Motherhood (with Postpartum Anxiety, Depression, and OCD)

    BFP 2: October 07, 2019
    EDD 2: June 20, 2020


    tyrion_
  • It actually felt really good writing that all down. 

    @inthewoods23 I’m so sorry for your embryo you lost and the one that didn’t take. There are so many complicated feelings with that aside from everything else you’ve endured to get here. I wish things had been different. 

    @saladflambe that’s amazing you’ve been able to come off your medications. I hope you’re able to keep this up but I do hope you know that if you need them again that’s ok. And in no way a sign that you’re weak or failing. Sometimes we need a tune up! Big hugs to you. 

    @emeraldduchess I’m glad you’re feeling good about having a plan next cycle if you need it. I think of you often and really admire you for how you’ve managed this unfair hand you’ve been dealt. 

    emeraldduchessbegging4abump
  • @tyrion_ yeah I would definitely go back on them if I needed to. I was actually even hospitalized at one point when I waited too long to get help & just straight up stopped sleeping. Took them 5 days to get me to sleep. My brain would just not let me. Hypervigilance is a betch.

    Then it was years before DH and I could share a room again -- we actually only just started sharing a room again this summer. We have 2 separate beds still on different sides of the room. And I still sleep w/ earplugs AND sometimes noise-cancelling headphones that blast white noise at top volume over top of the earplugs. (I have many strange techniques for coping with PTSD.)
    ~~Signature Trigger Warning~~

    Me: 32; Him: 36
    Married: Oct 20, 2013
    BFP 1: Aug 31, 2015
    EDD 1: May 12, 2016
    DD1 Emma born May 12, 2016
    An Honest Account of New Motherhood (with Postpartum Anxiety, Depression, and OCD)

    BFP 2: October 07, 2019
    EDD 2: June 20, 2020


  • @inthewoods23 my primary care doctor prescribes my medication, so you might not have to see a psychiatrist. Try your PCP first, then they can refer you to a psychiatrist if they want you to see one for medication monitoring. 

    @tyrion_ so many hugs to you, friend. Life  can be so, so unfair, and having anxiety makes it a much bigger beast. 💜 I hope that the brief ttc break helps. 
    Married: Spring 2009
    TTC #1: July 2018
    *TW*
    BFP 12/7/18, EDD 8/20/19
    CP 12/17/18 @ 5 weeks, 1 day
    BFP 7/1/19, CP confirmed 7/3/19
    First RE consult 5/2019
    HyCoSy: all clear! Moving on to testing for RPL
    TTGP October Signature Challenge: Hocus Pocus, Betches!




    tyrion_
  • @whatsbumpinpumpkin I am so sorry for your loss and all the emotions and pain that are coming with it. We're all here for you. 💜
    Married: Spring 2009
    TTC #1: July 2018
    *TW*
    BFP 12/7/18, EDD 8/20/19
    CP 12/17/18 @ 5 weeks, 1 day
    BFP 7/1/19, CP confirmed 7/3/19
    First RE consult 5/2019
    HyCoSy: all clear! Moving on to testing for RPL
    TTGP October Signature Challenge: Hocus Pocus, Betches!




  • Big hugs @whatsbumpinpumpkin
    I hope you'll reach out to a counselor for support if you're struggling.
    I totally feel you on PTSD triggers. There are so many things that trigger my PTSD as well, and it sucks so hard to have reality just ripped out from under you and become unstable and you can't make it stop. Hugs.
    ~~Signature Trigger Warning~~

    Me: 32; Him: 36
    Married: Oct 20, 2013
    BFP 1: Aug 31, 2015
    EDD 1: May 12, 2016
    DD1 Emma born May 12, 2016
    An Honest Account of New Motherhood (with Postpartum Anxiety, Depression, and OCD)

    BFP 2: October 07, 2019
    EDD 2: June 20, 2020


  • @whatsbumpinpumpkin I’m so sorry you’re going through this. 
  • @whatsbumpinpumpkin ; I'm sorry you're going through a really tough time. We're here for you. Hugs ❤️

    @tyrion_ your story was so heartbreaking to read yesterday. The world really likes to kick us when we're already down. Hugs ❤️

    @emeraldduchess I should probably find myself a PCP 😬
    TTGP October Siggy Challege - Hocus Pocus, Beeches!


    Me: 30 DH:32

    Together since 2007
    Married 7/2/16

    TTC #1 since 7/2017
    Dx: unexplained but low morph

    IUI #1-3 all BFN

    IVF #1 - 6/11/19
    24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys

    FET #1 - 9/10/19
    Best male not viable after thaw, used boy #2 (both graded 5BB)
    Beta 9/20/19....BFN
    "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"

    FET #2 - Tentatively January 2020 after loss, ERA, and Receptiva testing 


    tyrion_emeraldduchess
  • @inthewoods23 finding PCPs is such an overwhelming pain in the butt, isn't it? 
    Married: Spring 2009
    TTC #1: July 2018
    *TW*
    BFP 12/7/18, EDD 8/20/19
    CP 12/17/18 @ 5 weeks, 1 day
    BFP 7/1/19, CP confirmed 7/3/19
    First RE consult 5/2019
    HyCoSy: all clear! Moving on to testing for RPL
    TTGP October Signature Challenge: Hocus Pocus, Betches!




  • Uggggh it has been cloudy all day and my mood is in the dumps right now. I probably set myself up for bumming out when I realized this morning that it is quite dark when I wake up for work which means it's the start of struggling to get up in the morning 😩

    My vitamin D is failing me 😅
    TTGP October Siggy Challege - Hocus Pocus, Beeches!


    Me: 30 DH:32

    Together since 2007
    Married 7/2/16

    TTC #1 since 7/2017
    Dx: unexplained but low morph

    IUI #1-3 all BFN

    IVF #1 - 6/11/19
    24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys

    FET #1 - 9/10/19
    Best male not viable after thaw, used boy #2 (both graded 5BB)
    Beta 9/20/19....BFN
    "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"

    FET #2 - Tentatively January 2020 after loss, ERA, and Receptiva testing 


  • @inthewoods23 it's been dreary here for the last few days, too. Indoor recess for two days in a row is doing nothing for my anxiety.  
    Married: Spring 2009
    TTC #1: July 2018
    *TW*
    BFP 12/7/18, EDD 8/20/19
    CP 12/17/18 @ 5 weeks, 1 day
    BFP 7/1/19, CP confirmed 7/3/19
    First RE consult 5/2019
    HyCoSy: all clear! Moving on to testing for RPL
    TTGP October Signature Challenge: Hocus Pocus, Betches!




Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards