1st/2nd tri weekly check in Sept 23

PoeMasque

Happy Monday! As the list below gets longer please let me know if I’m missing anyone! Pregnancy brain is real

• How far along/EDD?
• How are you feeling this week?
• Rants/Raves? Questions?
• Any upcoming appointments?
• GTKY: if you had a magic wand what would you do? (This wand has no limitations!!)

Calling!!

@PoeMasqueEDD 2/8 (boy)

@emmasemm EDD 3/7 (girl)

@k_mama91 EDD 12/5 (boy)

@Tulips29 EDD 1/11 (girl)

@cigaline EDD 2/10 (boy)

@celticknotfire EDD 2/27

@ivfsurvivor EDD 3/3

@love112314 EDD 3/9

@sincethelastday EDD 3/9

@bluguitarhannah EDD 3/10

@caitiemae EDD 1/30 (boy)

@akak23 EDD 3/27 (boy)

@wifeinraleigh28 EDD 4/4 (boy)

@sanpelligrino EDD 4/12

@laurajon2015 EDD 3/25

@jolo1241 EDD 2/2 (girl)

PoeMasque

I’m going to start this week and skip to how I’m feeling: TIRED. I don’t know what happened, but the last few days it’s been impossible to even keep my eyes open in the afternoon! It’s also hard to eat much at one time now due to space getting cramped internally, so I wonder if I’m just not eating enough? But my pants are also getting tight so who knows! 

Rant: DH has become obsessed with his computer lately, like addicted and not pulling his weight. He knows this is a trigger for me (a previous long-term relationship of mine ended due to the same issue). We got in a huge argument this weekend over how he’s not engaging with our son and what this behavior will mean once a new baby arrives. I hate that this is even a conversation, that it’s even remotely OK for men to “check out” like this. All of my friends have the same complaints and I can’t help but feel like I’m enabling it somehow, but if I put my foot down and literally do nothing so that he sees how much I actually DO to keep the house running our son will suffer for it. Meh. 

I see the OB on weds, then no appts for a whole month. 

If I had a magic wand I would use it to get everyone to understand what equity actually means....although I admit, I might not completely like what that would mean for me personally. Then I would wave it again to create a Cinnabon with zero calories and the nutritional profile of broccoli

k_mama91

@PoeMasque I’m sorry for your husbands lack of help at home! That’s so frustrating! I agree, it’s bullshit that men seem to be able to check out and avoid household duties bc if we were to do that our kids would suffer, like you said. I hope you can get his butt in gear so you don’t have that hanging over your head on top of other things while being being pregnant. I’ve been there too and it’s just easier on everyone when our husbands cooperate and pull their weight, otherwise it’s hell for them and us 😣

k_mama91

• How far along/EDD? 30 weeks on Thursday!
• How are you feeling this week? Uncomfortable. Pressure is increasing and I’m not sleeping well at all. I’m trying to nap when I can but that seems to make me extra cranky when I have to get up. 
• Rants/Raves? Questions? It’s almost October and still in the 90s here. Today and tmrw the high is 80 which is still hot but better than we’ve had lately. Unfortunately it’ll be back to the 90s by the wkend. I’m irrationally upset about this.
• Any upcoming appointments? Friday, thinking that’s flu shot and whooping cough vaccine day.
• GTKY: if you had a magic wand what would you do? (This wand has no limitations!!) So much lol! Clean my house, cook dinner, erase the calories from eating junk, put a wad of money in my pocket, I can keep going! 

emmasemm

@PoeMasque sorry the tiredness has hit you like a wall all of a sudden.
And yes, what is it with these guys?
DH also loves his computer. But we have a rule that if it’s not for work then we ask before going on the computer during evenings or weekends. My father is also a computer nut and it caused so many arguments between my mother and him when I was growing up... he would also stay awake until 2-3am... We agreed the rule at the start also as we had bad experiences in previous relationships around computer use.
Rhe helping with the housework topic... here I have had to talk clearly about how one or two things have become unbalanced since he has been on a project which keeps him away a few nights each week. If his job is the dishwasher, he still has to do it when he’s here, no matter if it’s his dishes or not. Same thing I do the washing and wash also his clothes. He was a bit meh at meh at me raising it but then got on with it. With DH hints or side comments do not work. I have to be completely direct. He isn’t mean - he just doesn’t see it.

@k_mama91 30 weeks!!! Oh I am dreaming of being there on one hand to know baby is almost big enough to survive without major complications in most cases, but on the other hand I want to savour this pregnancy.
Good point on the vaccines - I’ve added it to my list of things to ask about!

• How far along/EDD? 16+3 7th March 
• How are you feeling this week? Small freak at the weekend as my belly which had been hard suddenly was soft. A few questions to friends and apparently this happens all the time... It doesn’t mean baby has disappeared into thin air... (which is where my mind was going)! Otherwise typically feeling so good I can hardly believe I’m pregnant. I’m sure I will suffer for this in third tri!!! My anxiety is steadily rising this week in advance of my next ultrasound on Thursday. I can feel the tension and the negative thoughts creeping in. I just need to girl still thriving and growing with that nice strong heartbeat.
• Rants/Raves? Questions? We had another Saturday going around a different baby shop (also not a great one). Finding a big enough shop with enough ranges of different brands is tough here.  But on the plus side we use the time in the car to go through name lists and add the ones we like to the “long list”.
• Any upcoming appointments? Midwife for after the birth visited me today for the first time. Got on really well, talked through all of my issues, the history etc and went through what I can expect from her in the weeks after the birth. The first ten days she will come every day!!! 
• Ultrasound on Thursday!!!
• GTKY: if you had a magic wand what would you do? (This wand has no limitations!!)
• OMG great question. Some money in the bank, some of our big house projects finished, healthy family, baby healthy and here safely plus number two too. Then I would plant billions of trees around the world to solve the climate crisis. Oh and sorry to be political, Magic up a decent prime minister for the UK and cancel Brexit. This last point I think is only possible with a magic wand!!! 

sincethelastday

@PoeMasque - sorry about your husband and his computer addiction! I’m always a little amazed how direct we sometimes have to be with men. My DH can get a bit touchy sometimes when I bring up housework, because I think he’s overwhelmed with work and studying for two big exams in spring. But, seriously, it doesn’t take a lot of effort to put a dish in the dishwasher instead of leaving it on the counter 🙄. Hope the workload balance becomes a bit more equal in your household! 

@k_mama91 - sorry about not sleeping well! Are you using a pregnancy pillow or some other tricks? I’m dreading when it gets difficult to sleep. Hope you find some relief or a trick that works for you! 

@emmasemm - that’s amazing that your midwife comes for the first ten days!  How helpful is that! Really hope your US goes well on Thursday and that you get a great look at baby! 

• How far along/EDD? 16w1d  3/9
• How are you feeling this week? I’ve been feeling pretty good, but also with you @PoeMasque, and been feeling quite tired by late afternoon. It’s been hard to not nap on the couch while I wait for DH to get home from work. Otherwise, it’s like my bump has somewhat arrived over night and definitely can see it now!
• Rants/Raves? Questions? None that I can think of at this moment. 
• Any upcoming appointments? Just going for a bunch of blood work and urine work today for regular screenings that were ordered at my last OB appointment. The labs around my workplace always are so busy, so not looking forward to spending my lunch break waiting forever. 
• GTKY: if you had a magic wand what would you do? (This wand has no limitations!!) I love everyones’ answers above! Besides trying to sort the world out by creating more peace and justice in the world, I would totally make all my favorite foods no-calories and make it possible to travel to the worlds of my favorite novels and movies. 

dukie001

@PoeMasque sorry about your husband, but he’ll be back from “there”. I think all husbands mentally check out once in a while. I had an argument with my husband last week...over me be extremely tired and not being involved in his conversation as much as he wanted..oh and I rolled my eyes during him rambling something. The whole thing turned into a huge argument, he even left the house for 45 minutes. Oh well, I told him he can do whatever he wants to do whether I will do what I HAVE to do. 
@k_mama91 Girl you almost there! 30 weeks! Hang on a little bit left.

Tulips29

@PoeMasque I'm sorry about the lack of DH's help. Can you figure out a schedule that works for you both? For example, he pulls his weight with your son/chores during the day and when your son is sleeping/not home/etc he can go play on his computer? That way it's fair and he still gets to do what he likes? If not, then I'd be really frustrated as well. I have these chats with my husband too sometimes. Like he's happy to just lay on the couch and relax when things need to be done around the house but tells me he's too tired to do them and they can wait. I let things slide because he works hard too and I know he's tired, but sometimes we all just need to be adults and take care of things when needed. 

@k_mama91 you're practically almost there! Ugh, I'd be upset over the 90's too. It got to mid 80's here over the weekend and my headaches were back, which reminded me again how much I don't like being pregnant in the summer and I can't wait until actual fall temps! We're still in high 70's this week. 

@emmasemm I remember a few of those freakouts too. All is ok in there and I'm glad you're feeling well physically. Does the midwife help with anything when she'll come for 10 days following birth? I never had one or looked into one, so not quite sure what it entails. But any help following baby's birth sounds lovely to have! 

k_mama91

I want to add that dh and I also got into a nice arguement this weekend. After he left we didn’t speak all day. It’s blown over but these crazy hormones seem to fuel fights. 

@dukie001 I can see the end!! You are super close too! How are you feeling? We’re the only third tri mama’s right now huh?

@emmasemm I didn’t think I could feel relieved but I am so relieved knowing that he would be fine if we went into labor tmrw. Aside from a nicu stay my ob said after 28 weeks babies usually don’t suffer long term neurological effects from being early. I hope you find a store with a good variety soon, it causes me anxiety trying to purchase big ticket items blindly!

@sincethelastday I haven’t used a pregnancy pillow at all, I’ve actually been able to sleep comfortably the entire time. My issue now isn’t related to discomfort but insomnia. I’m wide awake at bedtime and when I finally do fall asleep I’m immediately up to pee. Every hour. So I’m also back to afternoon naps 😂

Tulips29

AFM this week...

• How far along/EDD? 24w3d
• How are you feeling this week? Large and tired! 
• Rants/Raves? Questions? Rant - I started getting heartburn here and there and when it comes on it's SO painful. Doesn't happen every day (with my son I had it all day every day but not as painful)...so at least that's a plus. Also, I had the worst charley horse cramp yesterday morning. Usually it's one cramp and it goes away after like a minute or two, but this one kept coming back after letting down and it happened like 5 times in a row. I woke up my husband because I started crying from so much pain . Rave - baby girl is kicking up a storm in there and I'm loving every movement I feel. I finally started feeling the kicks from the outside and yesterday started seeing my belly move around. This is my favorite part of being pregnant. Also, my son is understanding more and more about the baby, asks a lot of questions and every day asks to kiss his sister and gives my belly a kiss. It absolutely melts my heart and I hope they have a great bond when she's born. Question - any suggestions of heartburn relief aside from Tums? 
• Any upcoming appointments? Ultrasound tomorrow
• GTKY: if you had a magic wand what would you do? (This wand has no limitations!!) Just like everyone else, sooo much! I'd love to erase calories from food in general and be able to eat whatever I want without gaining weight or health implications. I also want to erase diseases and cancers from this world and have eternal life. Have unlimited funds and not worry about money. Have a stress-free job and not worry about losing a job in general. Ah, the list can go on and on and on. 

dukie001

@k_mama91 I’m almost there too 🤪 I’m so ready. I’m 37+4 today. The baby is sitting high, didn’t drop yet. But it is very uncomfortable at night, like you I’m getting up every hour to pee, and it actually hurts to turn. I have induction scheduled next Friday due to gestational diabetes. I Already preregistered in the hospital, filled out paper work for the birth certificate...it is so real now.  

dukie001

@Tulips29 Ask your OB about prescription meds for heartburn. I had it really bad and over abused Tums, was eating them like candies until my kidneys said enough is enough and I had kidney stones at 24wks. But now I’m taking (don’t remember the name of medication) pills twice a day and don’t have heartburn whatsoever. So nice.   

Tulips29

@dukie001 good idea, I will ask tomorrow. And how amazing that in less than 2 weeks you'll be holding your little babe!

k_mama91

@dukie001 Ah so exciting!! I wouldn’t be able to sleep due to excitement alone! I’ve got some sort of pubic bone pain going on and sitting up or turning over feels like my bone is cracking in half. 

@Tulips29 I’ve been getting the Charlie Horses too and they’ve made me yell out in pain. Why do they only happen in bed?!

Tulips29

@k_mama91 seriously! They are the worst. Just when I thought I was past them as I didn't have one in like 2 weeks...bam this one was the worst one yet. 

dukie001

@Tulips29 I looked up the pills for heartburn I’m taking- Ranitidine, work like a champ! 

@k_mama91, @Tulips29 I’m super excited to meet my son🥰 and literally counting days. I heard that induction can take hours and hours, but I don’t care. This road was so hard and bumpy, but the prize at the end is worth all that stress and shots and pills and doctors appointment 💝The hospital bag is on stand by, I’m mentally ready. 

PoeMasque

Thank you everyone, the suggestions were all great and we actually talked about some of them. DH has definitely upped his game since our argument and even asked to take over some of the stuff I do like buying cat and diapering supplies when we need them. I realize the computer is his stress-release (we just bought a house, his company was sold and the new owners are awful, and he’s had some slow healing soccer injuries), so I don’t want to take that away, but I also think we aren’t making each other a priority and our communication/relationship is suffering. I’ve got a call out to a few sitters to see if we can pre-schedule date night twice per month on an ongoing basis.  

@k_mama91 and @dukie001 the third tri sleep issues are REAL! I am dreading those days. I had false labor for up to 4 hours at night starting around 36 weeks last time, so I basically didn’t sleep. Even taking a Tylenol PM or unisom didn’t help. But y’all are so close and that baby at the end is sooooooo worth it. 

@k_mama91 and @Tulips29 have you tried some magnesium powder in tea or even just hot water? You can get mag-drink-packs and drinking one before bed should help a lot with the leg cramps. 

@emmasemm even though this is my second and my job used to be coaching women through pregnancy, I still find myself having freak outs and anxiety over twinges, aches, changes in kicks, and worries over complications. *TW* I have three close friends who had losses at 27 weeks, 37 weeks, and right after delivery, so the fear of loss for me hits very close to home. *end TW*. I don’t know if you know who Brene Brown is, but I found her TED talk on joy super helpful and try to remind myself NOT to let fear steal the joy from my life. Easier said than done. Your midwife situation sounds amazing though! I wish the US would gets its act together around women’s health ugh. 

Anyone else struggling with names?? With our first it was like “yes! That’s it!”, this time nothing seems to spark that “aha!” feeling. It’s like we used up the only “good” name and now our second kiddo will just get a “acceptable” one. 

k_mama91

@dukie001 I’ve heard different stories of induction, I think it’s a coin toss. Mine took hours and was really rough on me physically and mentally. I was a week late and started at 0. But it was 14 hours plus 2 of pushing and in reality a lot of natural labors last way longer. I’ll be back with an update after this labor if I can go on my own like I’m hoping 🤞🏻

@PoeMasque I haven’t tried that but need to restock on stool softeners so I’ll grab that too! As for names, we had a boy and girl name picked out when we began stims so that was never an issue. Once we realized we’d be using one of them, I backed out on the middle name. 10 weeks left and the middle name debate is still on going and actually gets pretty heated. 

sincethelastday

@Tulips29 and @k_mama91 - ugh, sorry to hear about the leg cramps and charley horses! I haven’t had one of those in years, but it’s crazy how quick they can come on and how painful! I’ve been having minor leg cramps throughout the night and no position seems to help; I’m really hoping these aren’t a foretaste of what’s to come! Interested if you find any remedies that help! 

@dukie001 - how very exciting that you only have to wait a couple more weeks before meeting your son!! Hope the induction goes well and isn’t as bad as you’ve heard it can be. 

@PoeMasque - glad to hear things are going better between you and YH! Sounds like you’ve both has a lot on your plate, but great to hear that he’s stepping up a bit and pre-scheduled date nights sound like a great plan! Also, I love Brene Brown! I actually haven’t seen her talk on joy, so really should look it up. In regards to names, DH and I have had a pretty easy time with it. We’re pretty firm on both a boy’s and girl’s name. However, this is our first, so if we’re lucky enough to have a second, I don’t know how quick we’ll be next time. I didn’t even really look up any baby name lists, so don’t have any really good suggestions on which lists are good. Good luck with the search! 

k_mama91

@sincethelastday Mine started as minor cramps when stretching or changing positions 😬 Probably doesn’t help that I’m the worst at keeping my water intake up though 

Tulips29

@dukie thanks for that. The doc wasn't in when I went to for my scan today, so I'll try to get a hold of him over the phone and ask. Luckily, heartburn has been at bay these past few days. But now that I wrote that out, I'm sure I just jinxed myself. 

@PoeMasque I have not tried magnesium powder, but will look into it. My doc previously suggested magnesium supplements, so I'll look into both. After this last incident, I'm ready for anything not to have these pains. I'm also glad that you and your husband talked things out. Good idea for scheduling some alone time for the both of you! Are you sharing names you're considering? Are you going for traditional or unconventional? Our son is Aiden and we settled on it pretty quickly and easily...and I have a whole list of boy names I love if you want some suggestions. We've also finally settled on baby girl's name but we decided we won't share it with anyone until she's born, especially family. Everyone has been asking, or at least for hints or first letter, but we made that mistake with our son and some guessed the name before he was born so we decided to keep this one as a surprise in case something changes . 

@sincethelastday I have a lot of restless leg syndrome in general these days. It just seems like I can't get a good leg stretch and when I try to stretch them out in bed, I get those dreaded charley horse cramps. Can't win! 

I had my scan today and all's looking good. Measuring right on track. Saw this girl yawn and grab her feet with her hands, which I thought was super cute. Now I have to wait 5 weeks for the next scan and it seems sooo far away! But after that they'll go to every other week, and I won't say no to seeing her that often

LauraJon2015

• How far along/EDD? Today makes 14w0d - second tri!
• How are you feeling this week? Still tired, still nauseous, but significantly better than a couple months back.
• Rants/Raves? Questions? Rave - we had an appointment on Friday, first trimester screening, and got normal results. Woohoo! We got to see our little baby moving around for the first time and it was amazing.
• Any upcoming appointments? Next one is 16w which is in October 
• GTKY: if you had a magic wand what would you do? (This wand has no limitations!!) The ability to get things done with zero effort. Repainting the nursery - poof! Dishes - done! 

sincethelastday

@k_mama91 @Tulips29 - sounds a lot like what I’m getting right now with just not being able to properly get a good stretch out! I’ve had this type of issue before, so it doesn’t surprise me if it happens now with pregnancy. I also know I’m not drinking as much water as I should be during the day, so I should really try to ramp that up. I just find it difficult to drink more water than I’m used to. Do any ladies have any tips to increase water intake? I’ve thought about those water bottle infusers where you put lemon or cucumber in, but haven’t acted on actually going out and getting a new water bottle to accommodate that.

@Tulips29 - that’s awesome how much detail you could see at your scan! She sounds adorable! 

@LauraJon2015 - glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better. It took me a long time before the nausea completely went away (although I’m still having bouts of dry heaving still sometimes in the morning, but I’ve gotten used to it by now), so hope you’re at the tail end of it. Also, great news about a great scan! 

k_mama91

@sincethelastday I’m horrible at drinking water, even not pregnant. I tried the lemon, cucumber, oranges in my water- didn’t help. The only way I could hit a gallon a day was chugging a liter in the morning and a liter at lunch which led to that kidney issue I had. Then I went to regular bottled water and use crystal light packets here and there which helped some. I quit stressing the amount I was getting and go off urine color. As long as it’s clear and I’m not contracting I call it a win. 

Tulips29

@sincethelastday I used to be bad with water too, but I got into the habit of always having a water bottle with me. I don't leave home without it. At work, I have a huge tumbler on my desk literally in front of my face or next to my keyboard, that way it's a constant reminder to keep drinking. Also, sound silly, but a cute water bottle helps me too

PoeMasque

@Tulips29 our son is named Henry, so we are trying to stay pretty traditional. I do like the name Alfie, but don’t like Alfred. We are certainly open to suggestions since nothing seems to be clicking and we’ve both been scouring the internet for ideas haha. I’m on the fence with sharing the name. We didn’t share the first time, but I care a lot less this time around what anyone thinks haha! 

@sincethelastday I am also struggling with water intake (which is also my non-pregnant normal). I literally go days without more than maybe 16oz - aside from coffee. I’m sure it’s why I’m struggling with afternoon fatigue, so I’ve started using the Waterlogged app, it’s definitely motivating to see the badge number go from 64 to 0! But we will see how long that lasts

Tulips29

@PoeMasque Some names I personally love - Liam (my absolute fave...not sure if it's truly traditional), Noah, James, Zachary, Leo, Frankie, Vincent (I like the short Vin), Christian, Sebastian. I agree with you on Alfie being cute, but not really Alfred. 

sincethelastday

@Tulips29, @k_mama91, @PoeMasque - thanks for the suggestions with increasing water intake! I think I’m going to try the infuser idea because I’ve always enjoyed having some flavored water every now and then. I think with any good habit it just takes perseverance to get there lol. 

@Tulips29 and @PoeMasque - those are all nice names! I really like the more traditional names as well. I always think boys names are more difficult because I want a name that sounds nice for a little boy, but also works well for a grown man. I think a lot of those names above work well for both. I especially like Vincent, specifically with the nickname Vin. One name that I quite like and is traditional but not as common I think is Rowan. I also quite like Miles.