TTCAL w/o 9.23

keikilove

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What’s something you’re looking forward to? 

hanshotfirst77

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

2 MMC's Feb and June 2019

Status: WFFET #1

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

It was a tough weekend again. Just seeing announcements and newborns everywhere. Blah. I'd really like off this struggle bus. 

But on the plus side, my progesterone delivery comes tomorrow and lining check Thursday!

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just the lining check on Thursday. Hoping that my FET is still on schedule.

GTKY: What’s something you’re looking forward to? 

Definitely my FET. But also I'm looking forward to the cooler fall weather. I want to wear hoodies!

ottergirl81

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Two CPs Nov. 2018 and July 2019

Status:WFAF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?Am technically TWW but am afraid to test so am just WFAF to arrive to avoid seeing a BFN. This cycle was so very messed up and I'm trying to just let go of the fact that it was wasted. Wanted to start temping again this morning but totally forgot in the rush of trying to get MH off to work. Things will get better this week though, its only Monday and great things can and will happen😁 Decluttering my kitchen this week and am so excited to get that done!

Any testing coming up/any recent results?Not yet

GTKY: What’s something you’re looking forward to? Getting my house completly decluttered and organized! I have less stress when things are all put away and don't look like a tornado has just been through a room. 

hanshotfirst77

@ottergirl81 I'm sorry this cycle was so messed up. Fx for you! And I feel the same way, I feel so much better when things are clean and organized. I am such a stress cleaner. 

emeraldduchess

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Early miscarriage at 5 weeks December 2018, CP July 2019

Status: WTO 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Glad I took a Bump break (still lurked though!). I don't think I will be able to keep up with the dailies, so I'm going to hang around here and the IF threads. Being in the concert over the weekend was nice. I love being on stage and this was perfect- just a few rehearsals and two performances. I love the experience of rehearsals, cast/crew bonding and a long-ish run of a show, but I can't commit to that right now (rehearsals until 10pm and then trying to HIO? No thanks.). If I did join that madness, it would really only be as an excuse to avoid the holidays. I really can't do that. For the last few years I have strongly disliked Thanksgiving and Christmas (to the point where I didn't want to decorate or see anyone) and that's not healthy. This year I am going to try to change it, even though I know seeing my SIL is going to be triggering as hell (long story that I won't share right now). DH and I also made our peace with doing IUI next cycle, so I think we are in a good place. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope. 

GTKY: What’s something you’re looking forward to? DH's birthday is on Thursday and I am looking forward to going out to dinner over the weekend to celebrate! Since I am not KU I will be having a cocktail or 2. 🍸

bluetickgal

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

MC at 7 weeks in 1/19 & at 5 weeks in 8/19

Status: Benched

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Doing ok...had a triggering event while spending time with family this weekend! We were camping and putting up our tent & my dad mentioned how big our tent was...I said yeah, we went with the 8 person tent so we would have extra room (we had a tiny dome tent that was barely big enough for our air mattress before). He said, oh an 8 person tent, so does that mean (I think we all know where he was going with that)...I stopped him and said do NOT even go there!! He then later brought it up and said I wasn’t trying to put pressure on anything, it’ll happen when it happens or if it doesn’t, then it doesn’t. That just made it so much worse...I wish he could have just kept his mouth shut! *TW in Spoiler for LO and loss:

We were camping with my whole family which includes 6 LO’s, the youngest being only 2 months old...it was so great getting to hold the baby, but it also reminded me of what we don’t have! Both my SIL’s have had 3 successful pregnancies each...while one SIL had an early MC with her first, as far as I now they have had no other issues...so I just don’t think my family gets it! DH and I are so much more aware of everything I know...but it still makes it hard when they make comments, or are just oblivious to struggles that other people could be going through. We haven’t shared our struggles with them at all, but we were very clear that we want kids...so you would think they would maybe suspect by now that something is going on and maybe NOT say anything! 

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

Waiting for cycle to start to schedule SHG...and if all is clear, we will officially be off the bench! Halfway through my Provera dose, so hopefully my cycle will start by early next week. 

GTKY: What’s something you’re looking forward to? 

Vacation...we are leaving for Hilton Head October 3rd, and it can’t get here soon enough! 

@hanshotfirst77 so sorry you had a tough weekend!! I’m right there with ya, hopefully we all get off the struggle bus soon!! Hope your appt. on Thursday goes well and your lining is perfect to welcome an embryo!! 💜

@ottergirl81 so sorry this last cycle was so frustrating! Hopefully it wasn’t a wasted cycle and AF doesn’t arrive!! Decluttering/cleaning sounds good, hopefully that is a nice stress reliever! 

@emeraldduchess I’m glad the bump break was good for you! You were definitely missed around here though! So glad the concert went well! And good for you for trying to be more in the Holiday spirit this year! Hope your SIL isn’t too triggering! And enjoy that cocktail this weekend! ☺️

tyrion_

A friend sent me this song a while ago because she knows I use music to help with my grief. 

Well, I listened to it today and man, did this whole song strike a nerve, especially this verse. And it made me think of you all. ***TW possible tear jerker***

Don't tell me when I'm grieving
That this happened for a reason
Maybe one day we'll talk about the dreams that had to die
For new ones to come alive
But not right now

Anyway, if you want to hear the whole song it’s called Not Right Now by Jason Gray. Apologies if everyone’s already heard this, it did come out in 2014 🤪

tyrion_

@hanshotfirst77 Wishing you luck for Thursday! Hope you keep getting good news and that your FET stays on schedule! 

@ottergirl81 Hopefully you get a shocking surprise and this cycle wasn’t a wash. And my anxiety is directly related to the clutter in my house. I feel you there. 

@emeraldduchess Glad to see you around here. Happy that you and your husband are on the same page with an IUI next cycle. Hoping with everything I have that’s just what you need for your THB. 

@bluetickgal I’m so sorry your dad made that comment. Big hugs to you. 

bluetickgal

@tyrion_ listened to that song and teared up while sitting at work...but man, those lyrics are so true!! Thanks for sharing! And thank you...after typing it all out, I feel like maybe I was just being over-sensitive! I’m always on edge being around family though, just waiting for something to be said...and other than the time my dad off-handedly said we would be the tie-breaker on grandkids, this was about all that has been said...so I guess it could be worse! I know if he knew what we have been through, he would feel terrible for ever saying anything though! 

hanshotfirst77

@tyrion_ omg that song, thanks for sharing

@bluetickgal I'm sorry about your dad's comments. Sending you big hugs

@emeraldduchess I am glad you are back! And I am excited for your IUI next cycle Fx so hard for you! Also hope you enjoy celebrating with your H this weekend!

gh1219

NMC 7/19

Status:  WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?:  Work is going well, getting a lot of projects done.  However the flip side of that is that I haven't been exercising regularly.  The more I am working the less I exercise and vice versa, or so it seems.  I'm not great at balance.  Finally got my butt to a long workout on Saturday, watched the Michigan game from the elliptical which was super brutal.  Turned it off after one quarter.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?  None

GTKY: What’s something you’re looking forward to?  MH moving back home full time the end of next month!

hanshotfirst77

I had some pretty awful triggers between last night and this morning. I'll be doing pretty good and then bam! An unexpected PG announcement or two or six. And somehow the ones for the months I should have been due sting so much more. Like a gut punch. But I suppose the silver lining was a good appt this morning at my lining check. RE says everything looks good for my transfer. So there is that. 

emeraldduchess

@hanshotfirst77 I am so sorry. Sometimes it does feel like life is being particularly cruel when you see multiple announcements.  Lots of hugs. 💙

bluetickgal

@hanshotfirst77 so sorry for all the triggers! It’s so awful when they hit you out of nowhere and you really can’t avoid them! Sending so many hugs!! 💜 So glad your lining is looking good and you are on track for your FET next week!