Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Going from relief to sadness

madamedudleymadamedudley member
edited August 2019 in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Hi all,
I guess I just want to share my story. I had a natural MC a couple weeks ago. I found out i was pregnant in June and everything was going well until the end of the month. I started having some slight spotting. My doctor had me go in every couple days for lab work, my levels were not progressing as they should. I had my first ultrasound and just saw an empty sac (blighted ovum). I would have been about 8 weeks along. My doctor discussed the options of D/C, cytotec or just waiting. I opted to wait. It was weeks of being on a rollercpoaster- going in for labs, not knowing, waiting and hoping that maybe the scan was just wrong or too early. Then it started. The pain was terrible, lasted about one full day. Then it was over. 
My husband, parents, and best friend were so supportive. I felt relief for it to be over honestly at first. It was my first pregnancy and my first loss. I got pregnant relatively quickly. I was so optimistic about moving on and trying again. 
Lately though, I've been feeling sad. I work in a women's clinic and work with pregnant women regularly. I feel guilty, because I think sometimes I'm jealous of these women with healthy pregnancies (of course, I would want nothing but that for them). I know my husband has moved on, but I feel like I'm just starting to feel the loss. I feel guilty talking about it though.
I know there are so many women with far more devastating experiences, and my heart aches for you all. This is hard and I hope everyone has a happy ending to their story. 

Re: Going from relief to sadness

  • @madamedudley please don’t think you don’t have a right to be sad...you have every right to grieve your loss! Also the way you feel about others’ pregnancies  is totally normal. After my loss I think everyone I know became pregnant. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal. Miscarriage is such a traumatic process. Hugs to you for you loss and I am so sorry this happened to you. 😔
  • @madamedudley thinking of you!! Had a very similar experience.  Big hugs to you 
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  • @madamedudley, my feelings were very similar. I had a natural miscarriage at 10w4d in a previous loss. It had been a Rollercoaster for 3 full weeks since my first OB showed me measuring behind and blood tests and ultrasounds and don't give up... By the time my miscarriage started, I felt nothing but pure relief. So much, that I was almost elated. It. Was. Finally. Over. My OB was so worried about it, she made me stay home from work the rest of the week! That relief didn't last, I felt apart a few days later and did it off and on for 2 solid months, and pregnant again, I find myself thinking of the baby I'll never get to meet. Let yourself grieve. Don't let people rush you through it. It takes time to recover and a loss is a loss whether it's at just 3w or 13w or 30w or 40w and beyond. 
  • Thank you all so much. I can't tell you how much your words mean to me and hearing your stories and experiences. I hope all goes smoothly for you @FyreFlyeRush! @gh1219 and @Mamaof2beautifulgirls, I hope the future brings you what you are looking for. <3
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