Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

First time pregnant, first time loss

Hello ladies. I just moved over from the March 2020 mom's group. This was my DH and I's first pregnancy. We were shocked and excited because we have male factor infertility and were waiting for our RE appointment in September when we found out we were pregnant in June.
Our 8 week appointment was last friday and they couldnt find a hearbeat and the baby was only measuring 6 weeks. They did bloodwork, put me on preogesterone and we had our repeat scan this past friday. My hcg levels were 80,000 but no change on the ultrasound, still six weeks and still no heartbeat. Since my body is showing no signs of miscarrying on its own anytime soon and because I work a hour away from home and any decent hospitals we decided to do a D&C which I have scheduled for tomorrow.
I honestly didnt think I had any grief left until today. I knew in my heart at our first appointment it was over and thought I had come to terms with it, but today thinking this is the last day I will be pregnant has brought out different emotions.
I have so many fears and questions. Im worried about possible complications with the D&C. Im worried we wont be able to get pregnant again soon given our fertility issues. My husband and i were a little older when we got married so we dont have time on our side either.
I guess i just needed to vent. My husband is very caring and is trying to understand, but he has his own emotions and feelings of guilt he is trying to deal with so its almost been me trying to support and be there for and reassure him, than he is there for me.

Re: First time pregnant, first time loss

  • @chartput I am so sorry for your loss! The way you are feeling is so normal ( I hate using that word!) This experience is anything but normal. My advise is to let yourself grieve. Take all the time you need. I highly recommend moving to the TCCAL board or the Trying to Get Pregnant board (in this board there are several different threads such as IF or TTCAL) There are some amazing women over there. Our goal is to support each other in this unfair life experience. 
  • I am so sorry. My situation wasn't the exactly the same as yours; our differences are that MH does not suffer from male factor infertility, and I was 27 when I had my first pregnancy. However, my first pregnancy also ended up as a MMC. I went in for my 8 week ultrasound, and where there had been a heartbeat prior, there was now none, and the baby didn't measure past 6 weeks. They did a blood test and saw my progesterone was very low. I also had a D&C.

    I waited 7 weeks for my cycle to return, and then another three cycles per my OB's recommendation. After the second cycle of TTC, I conceived my now 14-month-old son! I started on progesterone supplements as soon as I got a BFP, and although my numbers were still at the lowest borderline of acceptable progesterone levels, my little bean stuck in there. Ironically, I ended up being induced because he was not budging and I was a week overdue!

    Did they determine that you had low progesterone levels? Is that why they started you on the supplement?

    I am currently looking at another MC situation right now. Going to have a third blood draw today to confirm. Progesterone levels are so low this time, they don't even come close to what normal pregnancies should be. Trying to explore my options and have read a promising study about chasteberry, suggesting it may help with regulating pregnancy-related hormones prior to conceiving and throughout the first trimester. Wishing you all the best!
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • They checked my progesterone at the first ultrasound visit, but they never told me the results. According to her it was more of a "just in case." Ive had my progesterone levels checked before I got pregnant and they have all been normal, although I do have signs of low progesterone. My problem is more with too high of estrogen levels which counteracts the progesterone and I think causes the same symptoms. I started taking a DIM supplement which is a compound found in cauliflower, broccoli etc which helps get rid of excess estrogen and after a few months of that is when I got my BFP. I stopped taking it once I found out because I dont think there are safety studies in pregnancy. 
    My doc wants me to wait at least 2 cycles after the D&C to start trying again. My hcg levels were super high so I dont know when I'll get my cycle back.
    Fingers crossed for you!
  • So sorry for your losses ladies.  I've had two missed miscarriages in a row and two D&Cs. It's a sad and scary experience to go through but don't lose hope! Hope can be a powerful light when things seem so dark. I'm currently going through recurrent pregnancy loss testing and working on following up with some of the tests that came back positive. I've also started seeing a fertility acupuncture specialist which has been a good experience so far! Not ready to try again yet, but will in due time. Thinking of all of you and feeling hopeful for the future ♡ 
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