WTO Friday 8/2

ejoseph16

**This is a thread that welcomes all regardless of where they are at in their TTC journeys. Please be mindful of topics that are discussed that could be hurtful to those going through tough times. Mention of children or pregnancies of others should have a TW (trigger warning) and be in a spoiler if possible, and only be mentioned if it is extremely pertinent to the conversation. Thanks for keeping this a safe place for us all to engage!** 

Month/Cycle:

CD:

WAYDTGKU:

R/R: 

CS/Q: 

inthewoods23

Good morning! Happy Friday!

Month/Cycle: 26/23

CD: 15

WAYDTGKU: FET in September

R/R: TGIF! It's been an exhausting week. Hope the work day goes by fast so I can go back home. My FET meds will be arriving tomorrow so that's exciting! My cat is all over me right now asking for pets 🐈 she butts her head at my hand. So demanding!

CS/Q: nope

flowntheloop

Month/Cycle: 6/6

CD: 4

WAYDTGKU:
-A more laid-back (low-pressure) approach, so no charting or temping.
-No contraception, sperm-friendly lubricant, staying healthy in general (working out, hiking, eating healthier), pre-natal vitamins, avoiding unnecessary chemicals/nasties in environment/food/pharms.
-Eating healthier. I've been adding in lots of extra fruits, vegetables (particularly greens and cruciferous ones), hemp hearts, sesame seeds, cacao powder, and olive/avocado oils. Trying to stop boredom snacking!
-Maintaining a low caffeine intake. No alcohol (no biggie because I'm not a coffee or alcohol drinker).
-Keeping a TTC journal. I slacked my last cycle, but I may pick this one back up.

R/R:
Rant: I've been in a pissy mood since yesterday as my step-father called and told me, "You need to call your mom. She thinks you are mad at her because you never call." This was in a "you-are-neglecting-your-mom" tone, so I immediately got defensive. Just a little backstory: my mother has been addicted to pharmaceuticals for over 5 years (ones she is prescribed but doesn't make it one bit easier). She has overdosed multiple times and has become a shell of the woman I once knew. I've begged and pleaded, but she won't get help (and her husband won't force her hand either). So in recent years, I started distancing myself so I wasn't in constant pain over the situation. I still attempt to call her twice a week to touch bases, but she rarely answers calls and never returns them. I don't think she has called my phone once in the past two years. She has no idea what is going on in my life. I could be hospitalized or dead and she wouldn't know unless someone told her. So, yah.. I'm very hurt and angry to be treated the way I was yesterday. I hate being made out to be the bad guy when I've been working so hard to be the "good daughter" these past years.

Rave: It's Fri-yay, y'all! :P Looking forward to my hubby's birthday weekend! We have to take the Charlie-pup to the vet to get his leg checked Saturday morning, but I think I'll take DH to his favorite farm-to-table place for brunch after. We will probably get a few projects completed around the homestead as well.

CS/Q: none at the moment

flowntheloop

@inthewoods23 Happy Friday! And, awww, your kitty seems so sweet! I hope you can recharge your energy stores this weekend!

babyodo

@flowntheloop - I'm so sorry about the situation with your mom. Addiction is a bastard, I hate it. I didn't speak to my sister for six years because she was strung out on crystal meth. She was addicted for over 20 years. She's been clean and sober for the past year now, though. Here's to hoping things improve with your mom. That is so hard.

Month/Cycle: 4/4

CD: 2

WAYDTGKU: PNVs, BBT charting, CM & CP tracking, OPKs, Pre-Seed, Mucinex (CD10 to 1DPO), and baby aspirin.

R/R: There's a huge picnic at work today, and I hate forced morale. Even moreso because they never have any good vegetarian options, it's always BBQ ribs & chicken, burgers & hot dogs, etc. They might have some Papa Murphy's pizzas, but the only veggie option is regular plain cheese pizza, and I'm lactose intolerant anyway. So, I'm considering just skipping it. my husband's friend's band is playing the picnic, though, so I might swing by and say hi before dipping out.

CS/Q: Nope

flowntheloop

@ttcbabyodo Thanks for your sympathies. I'm sorry you went through that with your sister, but I'm glad to hear that she has been sober for so long. My mom has no intentions of getting help--and is still in complete denial about everything. My stepfather has promised us that he would send her to get help on multiple occasions, but he has never followed through. My sister and I have given up on helping because it accomplishes nothing and drains us completely. DH thinks that I should break contact off even further because it stresses me out so much. I literally make myself sick over it despite knowing I have no control.

I hope your picnic goes better than expected. Maybe there will be some yummy veggies or sides?

shamrocandroll

@inthewoods23 Aww sweet kitty!  I miss my kitty (lost her in Dec '17).  She was so snuggly, but destroyed so many of our belongings, haha!  I hope you have a good recharge this weekend!

@flowntheloop I'm so sorry about your mom.  Addiction has hit my family pretty hard as well.  My cousin who I was always really close with, and whose sister my parents raised after their parents passed at a young age, was addicted to heroin (after becoming addicted to opioids) and it is SO hard to remain supportive while also preserving yourself and your own life.  Big hugs!  Also, MH's mom is constantly guilting him about not calling enough, but the phone works both ways.  They both suck at keeping in touch, but she's the one who gets passive aggressive about it.  We see them at least every couple of months, yet she gets really jealous because my parents have a condo up here and so naturally we see them way more.  It's so hard to keep everyone happy.  

@ttcbabyodo That is irritating about the picnic!  In this day and age, I don't understand how they could have such non-diverse food options.  Throw on some veggie burgers, for crying out loud!  It's not that hard!

shamrocandroll

Month/Cycle: 13/4 AL

CD:  16

WAYDTGKU:  PNV, FF, VBBT, OPKs, PreSeed, Softcups, SMEP

R/R: Our friends are visiting us from DC!  They were our first friends we made when we moved here, and they moved last year and I miss them so much.  *TW: loss and LC

I'm pretty sure she is pregnant and afraid to tell me.  She's one of the friends who knows the most about my losses, and she had a loss herself before having her daughter.  She told me they were going to start TFAS like a month ago, and we saw them at a brewery festival on Saturday and she didn't drink, and then last night we went out to dinner with a group of friends at their favorite restaurant and she didn't drink, and then didn't have a glass of wine with the rest of us when we got back to the house.  I know she's probably just trying to protect my feelings because it obviously happened super fast this time, but I imagine it'll come up at some point before they leave on Saturday.  She also has some PGAL anxiety she's dealing with as well, I'm sure.  I'll be super happy for her if my inkling is right, but it'll still obviously be hard to hear.  Ugh, will I ever stop feeling like this?  I just want to be able to feel 100% happy for others like a normal person again.

CS/Q: 

flowntheloop

@shamrocandroll It seems like everyone I know has been touched by addiction in some way, and it is heartbreaking! Thank you (and everyone else) for opening up about your experiences. There is so much shame surrounding it all, and I think it is something that needs to be talked about a LOT more. Maybe the crisis could be averted/solved if it became a less taboo subject?
[spoiler]About your visit with friends, that sounds so difficult! I'm sure your friend is equally as stressed about bringing it up to you! Have you thought of maybe gently bringing it up in some way? It might ease some of her anxiety and yours?
And I know what you mean about having trouble feeling happy for others. I get a pit in my stomach every time I see someone with a baby bump or a baby (and I haven't even been TTC for very long). T_T[/spoiler]

tyrion_

It’s incredibly heart wrenching to see how many of us addition has impacted. My brother is a recovering addict. I was the baby by a large age gap and all I’ve ever known was my brother being an addict. 

@inthewoods23 How exciting for your meds to arrive! Excited for you and things to come. 

@flowntheloop I am so sorry you’ve been made to feel bad. I know you can’t help your feelings but you are doing the right thing by distancing yourself. Addiction is so hard and we do our loved ones no favors by pretending it’s ok. Hugs to you. 

@ttcbabyodo Is bringing something for yourself an option? I know that’s annoying but maybe that way you enjoy some of it at least without being hungry. 

Month/Cycle: 3/3 AL 

CD: 10

WAYDTGKU: HIO, PNV, BBT, CM (EPO), preseed, softcupS, OPKs

R/R: It is actually and FINALLY Friday. After attempting to try on bathing suits last night (and the power went out on me mid-clothing change), I loaded up on weekend essentials. Beer, water, chips, and salsa. So excited for a weekend with friends! I need this badly. I hope I don’t cry. 

CS/Q: 

shamrocandroll

@flowntheloop

So far, all of our time together has been with the husbands and kiddos, so I'm sure she's waiting for a good, private 1-on-1 opportunity to tell me, if she is planning to at all.  I don't necessarily want to ask her, in case she's hesitant to tell anyone yet because of her loss history, which I unfortunately know the feeling of far too well.  It's a tricky subject, but she knows how I am feeling from the other perspective, so I am sure she is being sensitive of that.  I feel like there is no easy answer here.  She knows I will be a little bit sad when she tells me, but that I'll also be sad if she doesn't.  I still don't know the "right way" to do this sort of thing myself, even having been through it.  

flowntheloop

@tyrion_ *super duper big hugs* You deserve an awesome weekend. Thank you for sharing with us about your brother. That must have been so difficult for you.

My rational self knows that I am doing the right thing (by distancing myself), but I can't help but want to heal my mother. She has been an addict for as long as I can remember (addicted to abusive men, alcohol, etc), and I cannot say that she has ever even been there for me. She neglected us (my sister and I) as children and she is neglecting us as adults.  She has never made an effort to be there for me.  So why do I still feel the need to fix this? Why do I feel guilty for being powerless? Why do I feel so selfish for wanting to distance myself further?

mvt2003

Will be back for tags! 

Month/Cycle: 11/11

CD: 15

WAYDTGKU: OPK, BBT, PNVs, SMEP

R/R: I got my smiley face on my CB digi this morning, so it looks like O is imminent. I'm going to be honest, I'm struggling right now. I've been trying so hard to be positive, but I'm already trying to fight off the "guess this isn't the cycle" feelings. I'm feeling pressure, and so much worry. I'm trying to be kind to myself, drink water, we're going to do some workout type stuff after dinner which always helps my anxiety. But still, I'm feeling very emotional. 

CS/Q: Nope, exact same temp this morning as yesterday, which seems to happen to me right before O. 

shamrocandroll

@mvt2003 You got this!!!  Maybe doing something relaxing/romantic tonight will help take the pressure off and make things a little bit more romantic.  That always helps my optimism a little bit more than scheduled, structured HIO.  Even if only temporarily before I go back to being BSC again.    But Friday night is convenient timing for a little romance! 

flowntheloop

@mvt2003 I'm with @shamrocandroll ! A less structured, romantic night sounds great! Maybe "warm up" with a special dinner...perhaps some steaks on the grill and some good music!

tyrion_

@shamrocandroll Oh, man, that is a tricky situation. And I’m so sorry that you find yourself having those feelings. I sound like a broken record but I really hope this is all behind you soon. And you can go back to having “normal people” feelings. 

rachelg777

Good Morning Ladies! Happy Friday! Just posted in the intro thread and am diving into WTO.

@inthewoods23 So exciting your FET is coming up! My kitty is so demanding as well. He rattles my door at night trying to come love me, which is cute but so frustrating. 

@flowntheloop I'm so sorry about the frustration with your mom, I can't imagine how hard that is.

@shamrocandroll I'm glad your friend is being sensitive, but I know that's so tough.

@ttcbabyodo Hope you can enjoy the band and then dip out quickly!

@tyrion_ Enjoy the weekend with your friends, I'm dying for one of those! Your essentials sound spot on. 

Month/Cycle: 6/4

CD: CD1 womp womp 

WAYDTGKU: BBT, Ovusense, PNV, inositol, OPK's tracking CM etc.

R/R: CD1 - rave my mom is in town this week which is nice since my husband has been on a work assignment a few hours a way all summer

CS/Q: Just a lonely dot

shamrocandroll

@tyrion_ Thanks, friend.  I hope so too.  I feel like I'm just impossible to be a good friend to right now with this stuff, which makes me feel guilty.  I want to just go back to being 100% genuinely happy for others instead of sorry for myself.  I don't like being this way one bit.

babyodo

@rachelg777 - so sorry for CD1. 
@tyrion_ - The picnic is a big, over-the-top thing that is catered. They spend about $30K every year on this party between food, entertainment (bouncie castles, petting zoo, zip lines, etc), and door prizes, and there's usually anywhere between 500-750 people who come through. The introvert in me is dreading it. I think I'll just stop by and say hi to my friend, then dip out. I'm craving sweets, so I think I'll stop by the grocery store and get those pink & white frosted animal cookies to appease the AF gods.

shamrocandroll

@rachelg777 Hi, and welcome!  So sorry about CD1.  I hope you have a nice week with your mom!  I'm sure YH being away hasn't helped make TTGP any easier.  I hope your stay here is short and sweet!

mvt2003

@shamrocandroll @flowntheloop thanks! I think you're probably right - I'm feeling very pessimistic partially bc we had a very un-romantic HIO last night (so un-romantic that if it wasn't FW we would have probably just said ok, let's try again tomorrow). 

shamrocandroll

@mvt2003 You're definitely due for some romance, in that case.  Light some candles, play some music, turn off the cell phones, and just try to enjoy each other.  I wish I could take my own advice, but we have friends staying with us, so it's sneaky ninja sex for us tonight. 

rachelg777

@shamrocandroll Thanks, ugh yes it's been tricky, this last month we were finally able to have a little better timing but it will be so much easier (for ttc and life in general ) when he is back in a few weeks!

@mvt2003 Hope you can start to feel a little more positive and good lucky with the sneaky ninja sex   

mvt2003

@inthewoods23 Kitty snuggles!!!!!!!!! How did yesterday go btw? 
@flowntheloop I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I know it's hard to remember, but setting boundaries is healthy and necessary. You're protecting yourself (and not shutting the door on her!) and you and your life need to come first.  
@ttcbabyodo agreed re: forced morale!! I think your plan to go in and see a few people then quietly leave is probably best!
@shamrocandroll sending you so many internet hugs today. I totally understand your emotions and have been there too. I imagine she'll "officially" tell you at the end of the trip? Stay strong, deep breaths.  
@tyrion_ I'm sorry, your Target story made me lol so hard!!!!! 
@rachelg777 welcome! FX for you that your stay will be short in TTGP! 

inthewoods23

@mvt2003 girl get yourself a happy playlist!! Yesterday was good. My bladder was a little too full but it should be okay (I had just come from lunch after a full cup of soda). I asked the RE about our embryo grades since I was never told and was curious how everything ranked. I have the detail in the IF thread!

From best to worst the sexes go FFMFM. They range from 5B+B+ (my clinic is weird, I didn't know +'s could be part of the grade) to 5BB! She said they all worthy of becoming live births! 😃

DH was having a horrible day at work yesterday and this news made everything so much better for him ❤️

mvt2003

@inthewoods23 a happy playlist is a great idea thanks!!! Also, can I un-lovetit and re-lovetit your post over and over? That wouldn't be weird, right? K great, thanks! 

So freaking excited for you for September!!!!!!!

tyrion_

@inthewoods23 This might be a sensitive question, please feel free to ignore if it’s too much. How do you go about deciding which one to try first? I am so thrilled with the quality of embryos! I’m so hopeful and excited for you! 

inthewoods23

@tyrion_ you're given the option to know the sexes for all the embryos (if you do the PGT testing) otherwise you won't know the sex or if they're chromosomally normal. You're then given the option to transfer the best graded embryo, the best graded female, or best graded male.

As for our decision.. which if I haven't said in this thread we're trying for a boy first... We have a few reasons why we want a boy first:

*TW spoiler since I talk about other's babies*

My mom's side has had 3 babies this year, all girls. We liked the idea of having the first grandson for my parents since my sister had the first granddaughter. DH is also adamant about having a boy to carry on his last name (leaving a legacy kind of thing). I think amongst our friends as well there are more girls than boys. So... We're hoping for a boy first 🙂

tyrion_

@inthewoods23 Thank you for sharing something so personal to you and your husband. 

newmomtx06

@inthewoods23 good luck starting your meds! We have two cats who do that too. One loves doing it in the middle of the night 😂😂

@flowntheloop I am so sorry you are going through that with your mom. As @ttcbabyodo  Said addiction sucks.  My father was an alcoholic from the time I was born up till I was about 16. Of the same feelings of wanting to fix him. Truthfully, it almost destroyed me emotionally. Just know you were doing the right thing. It cannot always be a one sided relationship and she has to put an effort to. You cannot drain yourself trying to take care of her. You might feel selfish but you aren’t. I hope your husband has a wonderful birthday! 

@ttcbabyodo  good luck at the picnic if you decide to go.

@shamrocandroll  I am so sorry you are conflicted. It is so hard when we are split on our emotions like that. 

@tyrion_  have a great weekend with friends!

@mvt2003.  I am sorry you’re struggling with your emotions. Sometimes it can be so hard to be positive when you just aren’t feeling it. Hopefully you’re able to distract yourself. 

@rachelg777 sorry for CD 1.

Month/Cycle: 4/4

CD: CD 1 - sigh

WAYDTGKU: prenatals, charting, OPK’s

R/R: After being two days late AF finally made her appearance today.  I was prepared for it but still had a little bit of hope.  Now I am just wanting to get through AF for a fresh start. 

CS/Q: none

inthewoods23

@newmomtx06 I have been lucky that mine doesn't wake us up much anymore!

babyodo

Update: went to the picnic. As I guessed, the only non-meat options were cheese pizza, french fries, coleslaw, and watermelon. So I had the last three (no pizza for me). They even had a Chick-Fil-A food truck for crying out loud. Anyway, as I'm sitting there enjoying my friend's band while I ate, it started pouring rain. I sought shelter in a tented seating area...along with a TON of other people around me. I gobbled up the last of my food before my anxiety escorted me out of there and back to my car. I lasted less than an hour, but oh well, at least I showed my face.

shamrocandroll

@newmomtx06 I'm so sorry about AF.  

mvt2003

@inthewoods23 thanks for the playlist suggestion! I made one quickly, and went home early from work (my boss said it was dead in there, to head on home!) and am playing it while I clean. The cleaning has the added bonus of helping my anxiety AND making the bedroom nice for tonight!  

inthewoods23

@mvt2003 ow ow!! 😛

shamrocandroll

@mvt2003 Brown 🐔 brown 🐮   😉