TFAS w/o 7/22 - Page 2 — The Bump
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TFAS w/o 7/22

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Re: TFAS w/o 7/22

  • @tyrion_ this is a mystery to me too! Over all my 15 TTC cycles (***sob***) my LP has been between 8 and 13!!? I thought the LP length was supposed to be consistent, but not for me either! 

    I will be meeting with the RE next month and definitely will ask about the that... 
    bows22mercury94NYTino24
  • bows22bows22
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    @dumbledoredies I’m so sorry for your loss❤️  For tantrums, my DD is around the same age as your LO and I am usually able to distract her out of a tantrum. That is probably going to lose is effectiveness soon. And might not be the best habit? Curious to see the other input you get!

    @tyrion_ ugh I am sorry for the temp drop!
    tyrion_mercury94
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  • @dumbledoredies DS just turned 2 and his tantrum game is strong. I try hugs, distractions, ignoring some to see if he'll  work through it. If it's a tantrum due to not wanting to leave somewhere, we say bye to things - "bye slide", "bye sandbox", etc.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    mercury94
  • tyrion_tyrion_
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    @jennifer_louise I’m sorry. That’s a big variation. I hope you get your unicorn pre-RE baby. And LP variability can remain a mystery. 

    Fun fact: if I O same time as last cycle and get KU, I’ll be due on my son’s 5th birthday. Wooo boy. 
    mercury94
  • @millpe Glad you had a great vacation!  All aboard the positivity train.  It's all I can do to not lose my mind.

    @gingermama29 Enjoy your vacation!!!

    (Jealous of everyone's vacations, haha!)

    @dumbledoredies Ugh tantrums.  We do a few things.  I'm trying to use the Positive Discipline principles, along with The Whole Brian Child.  I try my best to approach it form a place of empathy ("You are very upset that we have to leave the park! Do you need a hug?" rather than invalidating his feelings or trying to reason with him.  I also use redirection a lot.  It doesn't always work and sometimes I yell.  With safety things, there's less flexibility.  He did that to me in a parking lot once, and so I carried him like a kicking and screaming surfboard back to the car.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    **TW**
    Me: 34 | H: 39
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS: Nov 2016
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19 at 12 DPO
    EDD: 5/3/19  *please stick, baby*


    bows22gingermama29mercury94dumbledoredies
  • Thanks everyone! DD will be staying with my parents overnight while we get a hotel room and have a staycation.  I’m definitely looking forward to it but I’m nervous. 

    @dumbledoredies DD  is really getting into the tantrum phase. Again, it is over the silliest things!  I love @shamrocandroll advice about empathy. I need to read that! 
    shamrocandrollmillpemercury94dumbledoredies
  • @dumbledoredies I have an incredibly strong willed and stubborn 3YO (and a compliant 20 month old). The best advice I have is to listen to Janet Lansbury's No Bad Kids podcasts.The short podcasts are great to listen to while running errands in the car or when you're taking a break. A lot of it is based on letting the kids have their emotions, but not letting it affect you negatively (WAY easier said than done). I listen to a new one every few weeks and it's a great reminder to realize a) you're SO not alone b) these tantrums and emotions are not only normal but a necessary part of development and c) you are the parent and you're there to support your child, not fix every problem they have because there will always be another problem, especially during a tantrum. 

    If you're interested I can look up a few good ones I've enjoyed specifically on tantrums. It really did change my mindset of how to react when it happens. 
    tyrion_shamrocandrollphotographerwife
  • @shamrocandroll I totally understand - just miss ya, is all <3

    @millpe so glad you had a great and relaxing vacation! As for my test results - We have our consultation call on August 1st and it looks like the analysis is in progress so the results may get to my RE's office before we discuss them with the consult... so I'm actually a little confused with how it all works.  I thought I would have had everything back this week so we could make our decision before next cycle, but AF is due to arrive early next week so I think we may be waiting a whole other cycle before we start with the IUI.  Sigh.

    @gingermama29 enjoy your vacation!  Don't worry about checking in with us, you should enjoy your vacation time and be as unplugged as possible - you can always catch up with us later <3

    @bows22 my friend! I love your positive vibes and wishful wishes <3  Really pushing for that April BMB - keep it up!!

    @dumbledoredies He sounds like he's really practicing his independence there! Have you tried giving him options?  Like, when he didn't want to hold your hand you can give tell him that he can either hold your hand or hold onto the cart but that he had to hold onto something.  That way you are still making sure he's safe, but he thinks that because "he made the choice" that it's on his terms.

    September Signature Challenge - Awkward School Portraits:


    TTC #1: May 2011
    BFP: 10/27/2011 |  EDD: 6/30/12
       3 DS born 6/28/12 via C/S 3 

    TTC #2: September 2018
    Mirena out 9/13 after 6 years
    BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers


    shamrocandrollmillpebows22dumbledoredies
  • @kpearse99 Awwww, thank you.  I feel so loved.  🤗 
    **TW**
    Me: 34 | H: 39
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS: Nov 2016
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19 at 12 DPO
    EDD: 5/3/19  *please stick, baby*


    kpearse99
  • tyrion_tyrion_
    500 Love Its Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
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    @dumbledoredies My son is now 4 but I remember at that age he went from this cherub of a baby boy to a feral beast. 2-2.5 was bruuuuuutal. I was convinced there was something else going on. But I started reading positive parenting books (no bad kids, no drama discipline, whole brain child) and implemented those tactics. He responded so much better to those methods than timeouts, ignoring, etc. Yelling and isolation techniques escalated him to insane levels. Those books really helped.  
  • @mercury94 @NYTino24 are you guys going to Disney this November? 

    @tyrion_ I heard on another board that sometimes ovulating more than 1 egg at a time can lengthen LP because of the extra progesterone. That woman who had that happening was AMA and I guess had been told that was most likely the case? 
  • @flinstone-2 Yes. The week of Thanksgiving. It’s my first trip to Disney ever, so I’m excited. 

    @dumbledoredies Right there with you. I’m going to start trying to give him choices. I hope that helps. 

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Me 33 DH 33 TTC since Jan 2019 PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
    dumbledorediesbows22millpe
  • @bows22 I do use distractions sometimes but I try to avoid them because like you said I feel like that's a bad habit. My DH told me to turn the TV on for DS the other day when he was throwing a tantrum and I was like I'm not sure that's the best idea. I really want him to be able to work through his emotions rather then shutting them down or using a distraction to get his mind off of what's he's upset about. But then I'm like hmmm because I use distractions when I'm upset or sad lol. 🤷‍♀️

    @mamaqdubu I love podcasts! I will 100% look that podcast up. Thank you for the suggestion!

    @kpearse99 I didn't have a cart at the time but I really like the idea of letting him pick so he feels like he's making the decision. He is absolutely testing his independence and boundaries. I've actually had a lot of luck with getting him to do things if I tell him we can do x, y, or z after so I think if I gave him 2 options and let him pick that he would be way more open to doing what i want him to do.

    @tyrion_ I'll check those books out. I'm 100% not a chill parent. I have to remind myself often that he is trying to figure life out and he isnt purposely being stubborn and annoying. But boy is it tough some days.
    mamaqdubu
  • @newmomtx06 I believe DS was around 10 months old when we left him for the first time overnight. I stood up in a wedding out of state when he was 11 months old so we did a trial run with my parents so I could get used to it. Since then he's spent the night at my parents every few weeks and its amazing! Highly recommend lol

    @flinstone-2 I have quite a bit of anxiety about my BFF getting knocked up. I'm worried if she tells me in person that I'm going to cry. And I'll be so happy for her but so freaking sad for myself. You arent alone in your feelings!
  • @flinstone-2 That’s awesome. I’ve heard it was a great time to go. My friend went on a kid-free trip that week a year or two ago and had a blast, but ours is definitely not kid-free. We’re going with my parents and my brother’s family (2 other kids along with DS).

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Me 33 DH 33 TTC since Jan 2019 PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
  • @dumbledoredies I'm not the chillest of parents either, although I've come a long way, and what's helped was trying to see things from DS's eyes and how that age sees things. (Although I am very fortunate that DS has never really thrown a temper tantrum, not one I would classify as one anyway, with the exception of getting a hair cut when he was younger).  Like, we got into an argument a few months back about how sea glass is made.  He told me it was made one way and I told him another and he kept fighting me telling me I was wrong.  I remembered reading somewhere that his age group doesn't understand how there can be more than one answer to a question.  That helped me to take a step back and explain how we were both right, and then we googled it together.  But it was trying for a little bit there!

    I guess in the situation where you didn't have a cart with you at that time, explaining to him that to keep him safe he needed to hold your hand while you walked into the store, but that he could pick which hand he wanted to hold (going back to the options so that he thinks he's calling the shots).  I always found that explaining to them why you want them to do something, instead of just telling them to do it, helps them rationalize it more.

    September Signature Challenge - Awkward School Portraits:


    TTC #1: May 2011
    BFP: 10/27/2011 |  EDD: 6/30/12
       3 DS born 6/28/12 via C/S 3 

    TTC #2: September 2018
    Mirena out 9/13 after 6 years
    BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers


    shamrocandrolldumbledoredies
  • @kpearse99 @dumbledoredies Oooh, yes!  Presenting a choice works great for us as well.  No, cookies are not a choice for your snack.  But would you like to have grapes or cherries?  
    **TW**
    Me: 34 | H: 39
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS: Nov 2016
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19 at 12 DPO
    EDD: 5/3/19  *please stick, baby*


    kpearse99dumbledoredies
  • What number are you trying for?  2

    Month/Cycle? Jan 2018

    WTO/TWW? WTO

    Ages of other child(ren)?  Three

    Any thoughts about this cycle?  Hopeful. We'll see. 

    Any questions?  Not yet

    Rant/Rave/Brag:  So, we are working on "no hitting" - lots of conversations about "You hurt mommy when you hit. Please don't do that." His response lately is to insist he didn't hit me - I hit HIM.  We don't spank, and he is the one hitting. He's three. Any thoughts? It's excellent in public (sarcasm font) when he is smacking me, I tell him to stop and he screams "STOP HITTING ME IT HURTS!"  ... When I am decidedly NOT hitting him. 
    So we are dealing with lying, on top of the hitting, and public mom-shaming. Fabulous. Thanks kid. 

    GTKY: Do you have a special nickname for your child(ren)? If so, what’s the story behind it? Mr. Mittens is the only nickname with a story - and it's just from him always looking confused at his mittens when he was teeny tiny. 

    @dumbledoredies My son is also incredibly willful. I try to remind myself that strong willed children become successful adults, but while we are arguing over "Not THAT yellow cup. The OTHER yellow cup." it's so so hard. Solidarity. 
    BFP - Dec 2015. Maternal near miss during birth, 2016 -TTC - Jan 2018 - Hoping for a healing birth....Benched July - Oct
    MC - Jan 2019
    Heart condition found, Benched Jan - June 2019.  Now - TTC number 2 !!!!!! 





    mercury94dumbledorediesm6aguabows22
  • @whatsbumpinpumpkin you might consider trying a stick system of some sort - it can be used with consequences or rewards depending on what works best for your son (so it's versatile)! 

    What I mean is, as a consequence system, you identify the behavior or behaviors that need to be improved, like hitting, and everytime he hits you have HIM put a Popsicle stick in a jar.  When he reaches the number you set (say 10 sticks or 5 sticks) he gets something taken away.

    If rewards worked better for him (as they did with my son) each day that he goes without hitting he gets to put a Popsicle stick in the jar.  When he gets 5 sticks he gets a reward.

    My son needed help with manners/respect of others, listening ears, trying his best/behaving and we threw in 2 chores (feeding the dogs and picking up his toys).  He got a stick for each one that he accomplished each day - so every day he could earn 5 sticks.  And I set a goal of how many sticks to reach.  For him, family time or mommy and me time is what did the trick, not really candy or a toy that he's wanted - he was all about doing stuff with me and MH, so his rewards were:  Going to a fair, Going to the movies, Game Night, going to dinner...etc.  It worked really really well for us, and after a few months we stopped all together.  (I might end up going back to this for a few other things for a little bit)

    Since your little guy is much younger than mine I would stick with one behavior, maybe two, that you want him to work on each day. 

    September Signature Challenge - Awkward School Portraits:


    TTC #1: May 2011
    BFP: 10/27/2011 |  EDD: 6/30/12
       3 DS born 6/28/12 via C/S 3 

    TTC #2: September 2018
    Mirena out 9/13 after 6 years
    BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers


  • tyrion_tyrion_
    500 Love Its Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
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    @dumbledoredies If there’s a scale from chill mom to the least amount of chill mom, I’m even further off to the side of least chill mom. My son rocked my whole soul with his strong will and stubbornness. I always thought I’d rule with an iron fist and “my way or the highway.” And then he basically gave me a proverbial middle finger and didn’t give one sh*t about how I wanted to parent. It’s hard. Sooooo hard. But once you find something that works (ish) it really helps. 
    mercury94dumbledorediesphotographerwife
  • @kpearse99 That is an excellent tool. He has done well with the hour glass timer for transitions, so I think he is a visual learner. 
    BFP - Dec 2015. Maternal near miss during birth, 2016 -TTC - Jan 2018 - Hoping for a healing birth....Benched July - Oct
    MC - Jan 2019
    Heart condition found, Benched Jan - June 2019.  Now - TTC number 2 !!!!!! 





    kpearse99
  • edited July 23
    @tyrion_ We had a color coded spreadsheet for our wedding. Synched to our phones. I am a financial advisor, and have worked for Goldman Sachs as a trader in NY. I don't DO chill.  


     Edit gif fail
    BFP - Dec 2015. Maternal near miss during birth, 2016 -TTC - Jan 2018 - Hoping for a healing birth....Benched July - Oct
    MC - Jan 2019
    Heart condition found, Benched Jan - June 2019.  Now - TTC number 2 !!!!!! 





    tyrion_
  • @bows22 I know! 

    I'm glad you reconnected with her. So cool. 
    BFP - Dec 2015. Maternal near miss during birth, 2016 -TTC - Jan 2018 - Hoping for a healing birth....Benched July - Oct
    MC - Jan 2019
    Heart condition found, Benched Jan - June 2019.  Now - TTC number 2 !!!!!! 





    bows22
  • @tyrion_ I get so jealous of parents who are like yeah we use a chill parenting approach where we never yell and yada ya and I'm like ha. I'm a yeller. What can I say? It's not like I'm constantly yelling but when I've been standing on the stairs for 5 minutes and he still isnt going up I'll start yelling GO GO GO FREAKING GO UP THE STAIRS and he usually will go up the stairs. I found what works and its 100% not chill but it works in that situation. People might cringe at my parenting approach but DS is a happy little boy.
    photographerwife
  • @bows22 how cool you reconnected with your favorite nurse! I would also take that as a sign, and also just be excited for girl friends and making plans. Positivity & keeping busy is sometimes the only thing you can do when things aren't in your control!

    @dumbledoredies I wish I could find my inner voice and be more vocal with my children sometimes! I'm a fairly quiet person so it's out of my character to yell, but to my detriment because when my kids get on my nerves and don't listen I find it hard to not internalize it and let it eat at me and explode at DH later on in the day or something I didn't mean to do. Sometimes I'd rather just yell and release all of the frustration! 
    DH on the other hand has to contain is voice a lot. Yesterday the kids were going nuts at bedtime and I heard him let out a huge loud sigh when they were playing around in the bathroom instead of brushing their teeth and getting dressed. DS1 turned to him and said "Daddy, daddy, don't you yell at me!!!! you're not nice!!" 
    bows22shamrocandrolldumbledoredies
  • @bows22 that's amazing that you got to reconnect with her! I bet it left a wonderfully positive warm and fuzzy feeling in your heart!  And nothing wrong with looking and believing in signs... ** TW **
    The week leading up to my last BFP (back in November that obviously didn't workout seeing as how I'm still here) I had so many signs!  2 of my friends had dreams that I was pregnant and driving home from work one night I was behind a car whose license plate said "ultrasnd" (or some spelling like that for Ultrasound).  Then I had a really vivid dream and got my BFP the next morning. Crazy signs!

    September Signature Challenge - Awkward School Portraits:


    TTC #1: May 2011
    BFP: 10/27/2011 |  EDD: 6/30/12
       3 DS born 6/28/12 via C/S 3 

    TTC #2: September 2018
    Mirena out 9/13 after 6 years
    BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers


    m6agua
  • @bows22 No judgment here. I’m also looking at all the crazy signs. Like, last night I had a super vivid dream that I took a digital test that said “It’s a girl.” So, I’m taking that as a sign. 

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Me 33 DH 33 TTC since Jan 2019 PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
    kpearse99millpemamaqdubushamrocandroll
  • kpearse99kpearse99
    Long-Lasting Membership 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
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    edited July 24
    @mercury94 oooooo I would SO take that as a sign too!!!   Although, they say your dreams usually mean the opposite - so that totally means you're actually KU with a boy!  :D

    September Signature Challenge - Awkward School Portraits:


    TTC #1: May 2011
    BFP: 10/27/2011 |  EDD: 6/30/12
       3 DS born 6/28/12 via C/S 3 

    TTC #2: September 2018
    Mirena out 9/13 after 6 years
    BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers


    mercury94mamaqdubuphotographerwife
  • @kpearse99 I’ll take a baby boy. DS is awesome. I’m sure a little brother would be too. 

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Me 33 DH 33 TTC since Jan 2019 PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
    kpearse99bows22
  • @m6agua that plan seems to make the most sense. YH is right, why go through all of this to make yourself better just for the high chance of having to do it all over again after #2.  It really warms my heart, though, to hear how much you have healed and that you are feeling like yourself again.  As someone who has lost themselves and couldn't remember "who they were" (for different reasons than yours) re-discovering who you are and finally feeling like YOU again, is one of the best feelings.  It's a struggle to get there sometimes, but when you do... man - it's a massive accomplishment. I hope that you are proud of yourself for getting there <3

    September Signature Challenge - Awkward School Portraits:


    TTC #1: May 2011
    BFP: 10/27/2011 |  EDD: 6/30/12
       3 DS born 6/28/12 via C/S 3 

    TTC #2: September 2018
    Mirena out 9/13 after 6 years
    BFP 11/11/2018 | MC @ 5.5 weeks on Thanksgiving
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers


    mercury94m6aguabegging4abumpdumbledoredies
  • NYTino24NYTino24
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
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    edited July 24
    @tyrion_ @jennifer_louise Mine was “up” to 11 this cycle. Vitex, Vitamin C, progesterone, and B6 are supposed to help. 
    It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*


    Me: 36 DH 35 
    TTC  9/2016     BFP 12/9/16    EDD 8/21/17    NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
    TTC  2/2017  BFP 3/6/17   EDD 11/17/17   DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
    TTC 12/2018   BFP 6/2/19   EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
    RE appointment 8/20
    AMA, ITP in pregnancy, and vWD type II - low Factor VIII
    jennifer_louise
  • tyrion_tyrion_
    500 Love Its Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
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    I’m in such severe pain from my cramps that I called my husband. I need him to come home before I pass out. Thanks, body. I wasn’t sad enough not being KU. Now you’re trying to take me out. 

    Anyone else have fainting spells during their period? Just me? Yay. 
  • @m6agua I'm so sorry for everything you're having to go through, but glad you have a game plan.  I totally get that feeling of the age gap being more than I wanted, too.  I can't believe our N16 babies will be 3 so soon.  :cry:

    @tyrion_ Ugh, I'm so sorry about the horrible cramps.  AF is a bitch sometimes.  Are you drinking enough water?  Have you had your iron checked?
    **TW**
    Me: 34 | H: 39
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS: Nov 2016
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19 at 12 DPO
    EDD: 5/3/19  *please stick, baby*


    m6agua
  • tyrion_tyrion_
    500 Love Its Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments Name Dropper
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    @shamrocandroll This has been a lifetime battle. I lose so much blood on day 1 that it bottoms me out. I can’t even count the times my mom or husband had to come get me from the work ER from fainting on my period. Only thing that helps is skipping periods on BC but can’t do that right now (for obvious reasons 😂). 
    NYTino24
  • mamaqdubumamaqdubu
    500 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited July 24
    @tyrion_ ugh that sounds so rough to lose that much blood that you're fainting! I'm so sorry! could you take iron supplements the days leading up to AF to try to curb it at all? I'm sure you've tried everything at this point!

    Edit: spelling
  • @tyrion_ I’m sorry. That sucks so much. Hope you start feeling better soon. 

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Me 33 DH 33 TTC since Jan 2019 PCOS

    DS1 born September 2017
  • @NYTino24 well I hope guess that's a good thing for you! I tried Vit B early on but now my LP seems longer without having to do anything... Waiting to see what the RE says about this.

    @tyrion_ that's so scary! :( I sincerely hope stupid AF will GTFO asap and you can be free of her for 9mo++. 
    NYTino24
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