gender reveal gone bad anyone?? — The Bump
July 2019 Moms

gender reveal gone bad anyone??

hi, i am 33w 3d. i did IVF, dr. implanted 1 girl n 1 boy she said. 
yesterday we decided to confirm the sexes with a beautiful photography shoot...
and much to our shock... it was 2 girls. has anyone experienced this at all?????

Re: gender reveal gone bad anyone??

  • mamanbebemamanbebe
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    I recall another thread asking us if we thought the doctor was accurate in saying they selected both boy and girl embryos to implant. If you were unsure then, why did you not check the ultrasound results before doing a planned reveal photoshoot? 
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    cindleremeraldcity1214blackhottamalessuzycupcake
  • CbeanzCbeanz
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    I'm confused. What was shocking exactly? What were you photographing? 
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  • CbeanzCbeanz
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    Why would you do a gender reveal if the Dr already told you the sexes? I'm missing the point entirely.
    mamanbebeemeraldcity1214samanthak46suzycupcake
  • Niesen27Niesen27
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    I get where you are going with this, I think! Correct me if I'm wrong you had the doctor implant and you thought they were supposed to be one blue one pink. I'm assuming at the ultrasound you had them seal your babies genders brought them somewhere and said make whatever according to what our babies genders are. Then at the photoshoot you ended up with two pink instead. 

    Not sure if this is an accurate account of the situation but regardless I'm sure you got some genuinely surprised photos
    mnkenned
  • leylea89leylea89
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    In your last post you said you were sure the babies were fraternal. Did you actually verify that or was that just your belief? And did you verify the ultrasound results? If you’re not sure, just get a second opinion. 


  • noons40noons40
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    no i didnt check. the scan guy txt'd photographer the genders. 
  • noons40noons40
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    in a past thread i asked the accuracy of ivf implanted genders. 
    most ppl said ' pretty acurate'. 
    the 'reveal photoshoot' was a confirmation for us.
    so, much to our shock, it wasnt as the dr. told me - where she implanted 1 boy n 1 girl. 
  • noons40noons40
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    niessen27 - yes, u got it.
    the suprize was .... worrisome n later depressing...
    i'm 41 this yr. with a 2.6yr old girl and 'supposidely' now 2 more girls on the way..... hubby wants at least 1 f* boy .... i thought i was DONE after this difficult preg.
    but now.... he made sure to tell me, we trying AGAIN till we hav a boy .... 
    i   am   tired .. this news just made me crumble inside ... 
  • leylea89leylea89
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    Have you spoken to the reproductive endocrinologist since you graduated? I’m betting s/he didn’t make a mistake and your twins are identical. 
    CbeanzNiesen27
  • noons40noons40
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    i sent an email, asking ftw?! no reply yet. wi see her on tue. (we shocked since fri.)
  • Niesen27Niesen27
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    @noons40 I'm sorry to hear that your husband is super frustrated about not having a boy but it is your body and he isn't the one who has to deal with pregnancy. maybe adopting a boy could be a better option for the future if he wants one that bad.

    @leylea89 I agree I bet they are identical girls!
    Cbeanzwabash15pizzaplzmarcelemartins
  • CbeanzCbeanz
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    Completely agree with @Niesen27, your body your call. Plus maybe you'll both see how crazy it is to have 3 kids and you'll agree to be done. Bc HFS 3 is a lot.
  • noons40noons40
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    its depressing ppl... i wanted a boy too.. am sad to feel like this, really..  we went through a lot ... 5 pregnancies, from which 3 miscg.'s ... emotionally n physically drained.. 
  • noons40noons40
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    the 'real you' should read more carefully... u put emphasis on the wrong subject. its being (probably) lied to by a dr., and now having to consider another pregnancy after this one ... 
  • I can understand your disappointment,  especially since you were told it was one of each. But coming from a family of 4 girls, girls are great too! My Dad had to wait awhile yes, but he loves his 4 sons-in-law and (soon to be) 2 grandsons very much! I agree, if your husband is that disappointed and you don't think you cah handle another pregnancy, at least think about adopting!! Adoption is beautiful and they are no less your child than your biological children. I also have 2 sisters who are unable to have children at all, so from that viewpoint I will just say hold tight to those precious girls and love them well❤
    Niesen27noons40wabash15
  • hinoteshinotes
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    Is the gender reveal information only based on ultrasound results?  Sounds like it may be worth a 2nd opinion on the images (ultrasound can get gender wrong sometimes) and/or verifying with the IVF doctors.  Sorry if that's unhelpful at this point, but I think I'm still having trouble understanding all of what went wrong here. 
    Niesen27
  • Niesen27Niesen27
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    It's not wrong to feel sad about not getting what you wanted. With my first pregnancy I was 100% sure it was a girl and it's all I wanted! I was so heartbroken when I saw a penis on the ultrasound i was almost in tears but over time I adjusted and once he was born I couldn't imagine anything but. The second time around I wanted another boy so I could be a "boy mom." Yet again didn't get what I wanted and that's just part of life but in the end I know I'm going to have two beautiful children who I love more than my heart can hold. I hope that both you and your husband take your moment to be sad and then move on to celebrate the three precious little ones you have. Best of luck 💖

    Also on a side note ultrasounds can be wrong, it was back in the day but they told my mom I was a boy, surprise surprise I came out without a penis and the doctor was very embarrassed
    noons40NYTino24
  • noons40noons40
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    getting 2nd opinion 2mrw
  • pizzaplzpizzaplz
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    @noons40 and any lurkers who might need to hear it, your body belongs to you and no one else. No one should be forcing you to get pregnant; anyone who does is being abusive. If you are in the US, there are plenty of resources to help you get out of a bad situation, if you are ready. The national domestic violence hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/) will be able to help or direct you toward other resources. Also, check with your local bar association--some of them provide volunteer dv services as well. Best of luck.
    samanthak46hinotesBear14+
  • wabash15wabash15
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    @noon40 it is most likely that you were not lied to. Embryo's split and IVF embryos have a higher chance of splitting than non ART embryos. Your doc could very well have implanted one of each, but the male embryo did not make it and the female one split.  Di/Di twins can still be identical. andplusalso if all you wanted was a boy why did you even leave an option of implanting a female embryo.  You do not have to go through another pregnancy. Be grateful for the amazing gift you have been given. 
    *TW*
    TTC 1/2012
    Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
    6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
    TTC #3 5/2016
    Restarted Fertility tx
    IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17

    mamanbebekbrown2385suzycupcakeNYTino24
  • noons40 said:
    no i didnt check. the scan guy txt'd photographer the genders. 
    Is anyone else wondering on what planet does a Radiologist send a text message to a photographer with gender results and what reputable laboratory does a chromosome test and doesn't list gender results? 
    People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.

    How I feel all of the time.
    My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
    IVF
    IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
    Back on Levothyroxine
    FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
    FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
    Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 
    1st Beta on 7dpt 93
    2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!

    TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
    Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
    New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF

    IUI
    IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
    BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine 
    IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
     
    blackhottamalesCbeanzLJMoon6oklahomak
  • leylea89leylea89
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    @suzycupcake mmmmhmmmmm... yeah this poster is constantly contradicting themself. I’ve never seen anyone in the history of ever, even at a paid private ultrasound, just send the results wherever. They always seal it in an envelope. 

  • @leylea89 Well, paying privately at a fertility clinic in a huge metropolis like Los Angeles, they wouldn't seal results in an envelope but they definitely wouldn't send it in a text message to a photographer. She said "scan guy" so that seems more formal than your average fertility clinic, at least to me.  
    People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.

    How I feel all of the time.
    My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
    IVF
    IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
    Back on Levothyroxine
    FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
    FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
    Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 
    1st Beta on 7dpt 93
    2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!

    TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
    Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
    New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF

    IUI
    IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
    BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine 
    IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
     
  • @leylea89 Oh mine wasn't formal like that and gave us results during each u/s. For our PGS results, they were sent by email because we requested it, but I do see your point here. We may have consented for that for all I can remember lol 

    The reason I said 'scan guy' sounded formal is because at my clinic, my RE always did our u/s during IVF. If I were at a hospital or some place like that where you have to wait for results, I probably wouldn't know/ask for the person's name. What was fishy to me was a medical clinic sending it through text to some photographer as well as the PGS results not listing the embryo gender. 
    People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.

    How I feel all of the time.
    My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
    IVF
    IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
    Back on Levothyroxine
    FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
    FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
    Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 
    1st Beta on 7dpt 93
    2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!

    TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
    Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
    New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF

    IUI
    IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
    BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine 
    IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
     
  • It’s literally all fishy. Because it’s.....prolly not true. Scan guy? I know of no pregnant woman ever who didn’t say tech. And texting? Nope. 
    oklahomakblackhottamalessuzycupcake
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