Older child ignoring mom after bringing home new baby?

tmb0321

I have a 3 yo that has some delays. He has never been incredibly affectionate but he did protest when I left the room and asked me to put him to bed. In the hospital he wanted to see me the first time he visited but quickly became interested in his toys and didnt even care when my parents took him home. The second time he visited he didnt even want contact with me and played by himself. All the care takers told me how great he was at falling asleep by himself while his dad and I were in the hospital. Since being home he has generally ignored me even when I've tried to play 1:1 with him with favorite toys. If the newborn is close by, forget it! He finds someone else to tuck him in and seems to have forgotten about me completely. Inhave worked so hard to overcome his specific challenges in relating to people and it seems like we are back to square one. Im so hurt and discouraged and scared our relationship will never get back on track.

brie_and_almonds

FWIW, my neurotypical firstborn rejected me for a while after DD2 was born. She was also three when her little sister was born. I think it's just an adjustment, and for some kiddos, this is how they cope/process the change. It actually worked out well for us, because it wasn't a big deal for her dad to take over bedtimes while I dealt with the baby, because she preferred him anyway. It did hurt my feelings at times, but I just had to remind myself that she was just figuring out how to cope with the big change of a new baby, and I needed to be an adult and not take it personally.