@alwayseloquent bahaha I told my husband that if a stranger touches my belly I will punch them in the face. Rubbing their belly back may be a better option.
@erins_321 When we told my ILs we were pregnant this time, my MILs response was “I could tell”. When I asked her how since I was only 6 weeks, she responded with “I know your physique “ 🙄🙄🙄🙄
I was asked when I was due yesterday...I’m only 15 weeks and showing a bit but not enough to be asked that! I didn’t even have a tight shirt on. It was nice to finally be able to answer that question but at the same time, c’mon people...I could have just as well had put a few pounds on!
Went to a birthday party and when I told the other mom I was pregnant (she was offering drinks) she kept saying she didn't know how I was there and how much I have been doing (I am a PTA mom essentially for our preschool) and when I mentioned I was going to the zoo the next day. She was like how do you have the energy.
...I laughed it off until like the 10th comment. Like...I am pregnant not disabled in any way. I can still do everything and especially now well into the 2nd trimester. I don't know if it is just my moodiness but it rubbed me the wrong way.
I will just say that at some point I apparently transitioned from the point of everyone being happy and excited and have now crossed over into the phase of unwelcome commentary on my body and opinions about how to raise my child, what to do re:sleep patterns and feeding, and unnecessary statements about what my life will be like after a child.
Ok, this is totally rant-y but I need to get it off my chest so I can move on with my day:
Last night while visiting my parents my mom looks at me and says are you squishing baby Quinn? (First of all, Quinn is a name suggestion I threw out to her weeks ago that she really sank her teeth into and now will. not. stop. calling the baby Quinn 🙄) Second of all, I was wearing maternity pants, which I told her, but also really doesn't matter. Just as an aside, she has been telling me that it looks like I'm squishing the baby since the baby was literally the size of a bottle cap so these digs are really a matter of my weight. So my dad starts making jokes that the baby will come out with a squished face and I wasn't amused but also he was just piggy backing what she was saying and she was hysterical at these jokes too. I guess she picked up that I really wasn't laughing and as I'm leaving I hear her start with my dad about the jokes. WELL, she must have ripped into him more after I left because he texted me this morning apologizing and saying he loves me and he didn't mean to say those things. I wasn't even really upset last night over anything said because this is the usual, but now I'm upset she made him feel so badly about it when it's really her "squished" comments that piss me off.
@ABabyMarshall does she expect you to wear baggy pants all the time? You can't really squish the baby. To say that is really annoying. I'm sorry you had to sit through all that.
Reading all of these comments about body size/shape is breaking my heart! I've always been a size that is clearly overweight, but not obese, and so people generally don't comment on my size or shape (I guess it's obvious that it would be hurtful and not taken as a light-hearted joke).
I just wanted to come out here and remind everyone that you're all exactly the perfect size to be growing your baby(IES)!
May our eyerolls be silent and our wit come quickly when these comments come our way 🤗
I've been pretty lucky so far in the comments category, but the only people who know I'm pregnant are close friends and family - we haven't even done the social media post to let everybody else know. I'm also a bigger girl, so unless you know that I'm 20+weeks pregnant, most just assume I'm getting fatter - I think it may help stem the unwanted touching and advice.
On the flip side, a male friend of my husband's told me I look "significantly more pregnant" than the last time he saw me (like 4 weeks ago)... I blamed it on the clothing (hoodie the last time he saw me, regular loose hide-my-fat shirt for the comment)
@alaluap my eyerolls are very much not silent lol. In any situation.
@bmmims I WISH I had pulled that on my coworker the other day. My whole shift pretty much knows I'm pregnant at this point, and it's common for them to stop me from lifting or flipping windows. We have a new girl who doesnt know me, and the other day I was helping her flip a window when my supervisor came running over to stop me and tell me "you're no longer allowed to lift anything bigger than 24x24". New girl asks why, I tell her I'm pregnant. Couple days later I was moving a window frame, and she just stares at me and goes "uh, aren't you the pregnant one?" It caught me off guard the borderline rude way she asked, and I didn't come up with a good comeback quick enough. Idk, I know it's no big deal cause everyone knows, but I already don't really care for this girl so I think that's why it kinda got under my skin lol
People have asked me if it was planned and if I’m getting married, but this really doesn’t bother me that much. The thing that bothers me the most is people asking me what I’m eating all the damn time!
Has anyone been asked "Were you trying for very long?" I have multiple times now and I think it's so not anyone's business!! If I want to tell you it was right away or took 2 years I would, DON'T ASK!
Also get You're so big for 20 weeks etc.. thanks! 🙄
@swedishmeatball MH and I were together for 10 years before I got pregnant, his sister has a 2 and a 6 year old. We got a lot of "its about time!" Irritating, cause for a minute I was convinced I couldn't have kids since we had had a few instances in the past that easily could have ended up with me pregnant... oh well I guess, just got to remember people suck.
Yep @angieeeeee people suck! Or while you're trying you get the "When are you having kids??" And you're like REALLY?! Are babies just something you decide and make the day of?!
No one has asked us if we were trying long but we were just talking this morning about how someone did recently ask my MIL that, which I think is even weirder. We have a super open relationship with my MIL bc she's awesome so she actually knew it didn't take long but really, it's such a personal question!
@Lark2013. I am also a big woman and I feel like I am showing a lot, but to people who don't know me or know I am pregnant I can easily just look "differently fat"
It does cut down on the weird comments. No one has ever stroked my belly in line at the grocery store for instance. However, it did make me a little sad last time that people didn't read me as pregnant. Even at the end when I was so obviously pregnant people were so afraid of being wrong they never commented. I did discover that being an hourglass plus size woman us a whole different experience than being an apple shaped plus size woman.
@angieeeeee oh yeah, people are weird about it when you have been together a long time. My husband and I had been married 15 years when our son was born. We got married young, then weren't certain we wanted kids, then some hemming and ha-ing about timing, then troubles with conception. We got a range of comments from "about time!" to "why would you now?" and just thoughtlessness. Open mouth, insert foot was the norm for a while.
@drama_llama I dont get it. MH and I started dating when I was 18. I went to school, didn't want to have babies in college. Then wasn't sure I wanted kids at all. Idk why people feel the need to comment on other people's choices
Re: Things People Say to Pregnant Women
...I laughed it off until like the 10th comment. Like...I am pregnant not disabled in any way. I can still do everything and especially now well into the 2nd trimester. I don't know if it is just my moodiness but it rubbed me the wrong way.
Not a fan.
Last night while visiting my parents my mom looks at me and says are you squishing baby Quinn? (First of all, Quinn is a name suggestion I threw out to her weeks ago that she really sank her teeth into and now will. not. stop. calling the baby Quinn 🙄) Second of all, I was wearing maternity pants, which I told her, but also really doesn't matter. Just as an aside, she has been telling me that it looks like I'm squishing the baby since the baby was literally the size of a bottle cap so these digs are really a matter of my weight. So my dad starts making jokes that the baby will come out with a squished face and I wasn't amused but also he was just piggy backing what she was saying and she was hysterical at these jokes too. I guess she picked up that I really wasn't laughing and as I'm leaving I hear her start with my dad about the jokes. WELL, she must have ripped into him more after I left because he texted me this morning apologizing and saying he loves me and he didn't mean to say those things. I wasn't even really upset last night over anything said because this is the usual, but now I'm upset she made him feel so badly about it when it's really her "squished" comments that piss me off.
I just wanted to come out here and remind everyone that you're all exactly the perfect size to be growing your baby(IES)!
May our eyerolls be silent and our wit come quickly when these comments come our way 🤗
On the flip side, a male friend of my husband's told me I look "significantly more pregnant" than the last time he saw me (like 4 weeks ago)... I blamed it on the clothing (hoodie the last time he saw me, regular loose hide-my-fat shirt for the comment)
Then I remind them that it isn't very polite to ask that question.
@bmmims I WISH I had pulled that on my coworker the other day. My whole shift pretty much knows I'm pregnant at this point, and it's common for them to stop me from lifting or flipping windows. We have a new girl who doesnt know me, and the other day I was helping her flip a window when my supervisor came running over to stop me and tell me "you're no longer allowed to lift anything bigger than 24x24". New girl asks why, I tell her I'm pregnant. Couple days later I was moving a window frame, and she just stares at me and goes "uh, aren't you the pregnant one?" It caught me off guard the borderline rude way she asked, and I didn't come up with a good comeback quick enough. Idk, I know it's no big deal cause everyone knows, but I already don't really care for this girl so I think that's why it kinda got under my skin lol
Also get You're so big for 20 weeks etc.. thanks! 🙄
It does cut down on the weird comments. No one has ever stroked my belly in line at the grocery store for instance. However, it did make me a little sad last time that people didn't read me as pregnant. Even at the end when I was so obviously pregnant people were so afraid of being wrong they never commented. I did discover that being an hourglass plus size woman us a whole different experience than being an apple shaped plus size woman.