TFAS w/o 4/29

m6agua

@NYTino24 I hope you can get in with an RE and get some answers.

@spacemountaineer I get you on the room thing. We have 3 bedrooms too, ours, the nursery, and the office. We are gathering stuff right now to make DD's "big girl room". I have no clue what we will do with all of the office furniture when we do her room. I think we could put it in the basement, but DH refuses that because it is unfinished. I am thinking maybe a combination of our room and the living room, we will see. I'm planning on having a rummage sale this month to try and get rid of extra stuff, our basement is a bit full of boxes of stuff.

The nursing bra reminded me... I will be bringing formula in my bag this time. We had a pretty traumatic first week with DD and nursing because I wasn't producing. ER visit, slight dehydration, tongue/lip tie clipped and then done again with a laser. I am hoping that I can produce next time, but I'm not holding my breath.

Edited: Just re-ordered things.

mercury94

@m6agua I’m with you on the formula. I never did produce enough for DS. At the hospital, they wouldn’t give formula because I said I wanted to BF. He got very dehydrated. It was awful.  Next time, I’m just going to tell them we’re using formula. 

kbrown2385

@m6agua @mercury94 formula is definitely on my list as well. Ds and I struggled a lot and I produced next to nothing. I was starving him and he lost so much weight he almost had to be hospitalized. I have very little desire to try to bf again. I have igt and flat nipples so the likelihood of success is slim.

edit fixing words 

m6agua

@kbrown2385 I'm sorry, I'm sure it was scary and traumatizing. I am pretty sure I have IGT too. The LC just told me "You don't have the right kind of breast tissue" and after a ton of research I discovered IGT. I was confident that was it, but then all of my thyroid stuff started (was probably always there) and now I am thinking that could have been a major factor. Really I am thinking it is a combination, but at least I know what to expect and just be happily surprised if I actually get anything.

@mercury94 I am sorry, like I said above it is such a scary thing to go through and also quite traumatizing. In fact 2.5 years later I still have a lot of PTSD like thoughts toward it. I was just lucky to have a realistic LC that helped me switch 100% to formula at 8 days old.

MJDsquared

I'm going to try asking this here first, but if no one knows I'll ask in the CS/Q thread with a TW/spoiler.

So I started entering my temps in FF a week or so ago just because I wanted to feel like I was doing something. It says it won't show you chart data until you enter a period, which is annoying... I just want a graph of temps! Anyway, it also says under period tracker "pregnant! no periods expected" (because my last full chart was my pregnancy one). So I'm really just SOL until I get my period?

m6agua

@MJDsquared It's been a while since I did this, but a quick google and I think this might be the answer. Charts Management>start new chart
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/Faqs/Charting-before-your-first-post-partum-period.html

ETA: or maybe just put in a 1 day period with a note that you didn't truly have a period?

MJDsquared

@m6agua Ohhh, that worked! Thank you!

varimama

@begging4abump were you on the Feb 17 bmb? My DS was technically born in March but my EDD was in Feb so I was on that board. New username though, my old one was Marriedhamstermom

@m6agua and @mercury94 I’m surprised they didn’t give you formula in the hospital. I was actually upset bc they gave my son formula even though we were trying to breastfeed bc he wouldn’t latch. I mean it ended up working out for us in the end but at the time I was devastated thinking that once he had a bottle he’d never latch and they did it without my consent while he was in the nursery overnight which I didn’t want to do but DH thought it’d be a good idea...

mercury94

@m6agua I’m glad you had a good LC that helped you. I’m not sure what caused my issues, but I’ve heard it’s not uncommon with PCOS. The only LC I saw was horrible. She basically told me that I was wrong and my body would totally produce enough. I just needed to figure out how to get him to take it. She also told me not to even touch the pump until I started back to work. Basically, the whole every mom can feed their baby. If you can’t, you’re not trying hard enough bs. I did some research and ultimately tried pumping whenever he refused the breast. A month in, with supplements and everything, I was only able to pump 2 oz in a day, which was basically one bottle. I was strapped to a pump for half an hour every two hours and it wasn’t helping at all. I just made peace with an exclusive formula diet and let my milk dry up. I’ve been shamed for it a bunch, but my kid was fed and happy, so those people can all go to hell. 

@kbrown2385 I’m sorry it was so hard for you. I don’t have much of a desire to try again either. I’m pretty torn up about it. 

m6agua

@varimama No one ever mentioned formula in the hospital. My milk was not in while there but I was pumping/hand expressing colostrum and giving her every little bit, which wasn't much.

@mercury94 I am so sorry for your experience. I also had professionals telling me to not give formula (for my supply), to power pump, and do all the things. The most I could get was an ounce/day by hand expressing. I was also strapped to the baby/pump constantly. When the LC said that I had to supplement formula 100% but could bf for my own comfort, I decided to just go with formula and dry up. Best decision I made. I'm sorry you were shammed, that is awful. Long after my experience I joined a FB group for moms with IGT & Low supply to get info for the possible next time. Basically they say that before you get diagnosed truly with IGT (insufficient glandular tissue) you have to rule out other reasons for low to no milk supply. Which PCOS, thyroid, tongue/lip ties, hypopituitarism, Insulin Resistance (hypoglycemia, diabetes, etc), and prolactin issues. So I would imagine PCOS was a factor. 

shamrocandroll

One of my biggest hot button topics is hearing that people are being told there is no reason you can't be successful breastfeeding.  I nearly drove myself off the edge of my own sanity during those first few weeks because of breastfeeding issues.  A lot of it was because I was told there was a solution no matter what.  DS had severe latch issues and had to be bottle fed for the first 3 weeks, which I pumped and fed him, but initially he lost way too much weight.  I wish I hadn't been made to feel like giving him formula was failing.  I managed to get him to 6 months, which I would have never imagined being able to do in those early weeks, but I was so anxious the entire time.  I plan to try BFing again, but I will not make myself mentally unstable doing so.  I will not make the same mistake twice.

mercury94

@varimama When they told us DS was showing signs of severe dehydration, we asked if we could just give him a bottle and the nurse looked relieved. Apparently, at my hospital they write breast or bottle on the chart and do not even suggest a bottle if the mom said breast. 

ETA: I’m so sad to hear that so many of us went through this. It was an awful experience for me and I had hoped it was rare. 

m6agua

@shamrocandroll I am sorry to hear that you had a similar experience to many of us.

begging4abump

@varimama No, I didn’t know this board existed back then! Neat that our kiddos are about the same age. Mine has gotten very fond of saying “I cannot ___” like take a bath or put on shoes. I like this age, but it’s hard not rolling my eyes sometimes.

Sorry so many had it so rough bf! a hard +1 here too! LC did not help. I didn’t try the tongue tie surgery, but did try fenugreek supplements without any change. I tried to bf with a nipple shield for at least 30min, then pumped for another 30 while I gave some formula. Ended up with thrush, but didn’t realize for a while since I attributed the pain to the crazy regimen they had me on. It was nice to just accept exclusively pumping and formula supplements, but still a huge pain. Boy I don’t miss that! Potty training has brought back the memories of the 1.5 hour windows between pumping sessions since it’s becoming the same with waiting for dd to use the potty before running out the door. What we have made it through!!!

kbrown2385

I’m so sorry many of us had similar experiences. It’s amazing how baby friendly hospitals end up being not so “friendly” towards post partum moms. I dealt with a lot of guilt for a long time after ds was born and still have some thoughts about it almost 4 years later. I did find the Fed is best campaign when ds was 6 months and that helped alot. It’s amazing the amount of pressure we feel regarding breast feeding. 

bows22

I fully planned on formula feeding and got so much push back from my OB, people who came to examine me & DD in the hospital, her pediatrician, and finally the doctors at our children’s hospital when we had to take DD there at 5 days old. My milk had just come in and I felt so helpless so I started pumping and ended up doing it for a little over a year. I don’t regret it, but it really annoys me how much pressure there is.  DD still caught influenza A at 7 weeks old (from DH and I) and was sick constantly when she started daycare, so it’s not like it’s a magic anti-sick potion. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I have another baby. I give you guys so much credit because BF seems like SO much work

varimama

@begging4abump haha my toddler is really big into saying “not possible” or “I’m too tired” when we say it’s time to do things he doesn’t want to do! Must be the age. 

I’m sorry so many of you felt pressured or even shamed for formula. It’s been a struggle for us and I’ve loved breastfeeding but as long as your baby is fed no one should say a word about where the source is. 

spacemountaineer

The hospital actual gave DS formula while he was in the nursery (without even checking with me). He was losing some weight (which was common for c-section babies because they had a longer hospital stay with their moms). At first I was slightly appalled, now looking back, it doesn't phase me at all. I'm surprised they did that because they are a very pro BF hospital.

I'm of the opinion that breast is ideal if you are able to do it (your body and schedule allow it), but ultimately fed is best. I'm not going to let myself feel guilty again if I'm not able to BF my next child and I'm certainly not going to shame any other mothers who have to or choose to FF their child.


Long story:
I'm another one with complications with BF. I got a 3" galactocele (milk filled cyst) with a staph infection when DS was 2 weeks old. It reduced my milk supply to almost nothing in that one breast (but I constantly felt full). Everyone kept treating as mastitis as I had all the symptoms of it, but the antibiotics weren't clearing it up (4 rounds of oral, 1 round of IV). I saw 4 doctors and 1 surgeon for it.

After weeks of unsuccessful antibiotic treatments, my doctor sent me to get an ultrasound. Here's the kicker, the hospital policy (mammography) is that if you do an ultrasound of the breast you also have to do a mammogram. Seriously?! You want to give a nursing mother a mammogram? We were not looking for cancer! My doctor made very specific instructions that I should not have a mammogram, just the ultrasound. I was so elated I told my MIL.

*Removed tangential story*

 After discovering what it was, my doctor sent me to a surgeon.  When the surgeon attempted to drain it, it hurt like hades! It was a syringe with with 5 short needles on it going into a breast full of milk. She wasn't able to get anything out. So she talked about surgery where they would have to put me under. Eventually, the cyst got so full it burst (fortunately, externally). I felt so much better after drained.

My surgeon urged me to stop BF as the cyst continued to fill after bursting. I was so wracked with guilt for not being able to BF my baby. It did not help that my MIL told me multiple times during this whole ordeal that the reason why she has such a poor immune system was because she was formula fed. (I'm sure there are other reasons for that. She had been saying when I had been fighting so hard to keep BF) I felt like I was failing my baby. It was so stupid. I had been sick for 2 months in order to BF my child! I had been to the doctor at least once a week (often multiple times) for the first two and half months of my baby's life (thanks to  this and complications from my c-section the first two weeks).  I had hand expressed this breast for two months in attempts to keep up its meager supply and my breast was raw from that. Fortunately, with the next baby, I'll have this in my history, so if it happens again we won't have to wait so long to take the proper action. 

Edit: clarification