Expecting a year after son killed

godlywomen97

My son Dexter was killed in 2017 at 4 months old. Im now pregnant again, due around his birthday and having another boy. The trial is coming up for the pos to finally go to prison while i will be very very pregnant. I'm scared the stress will put me In labor or hurt the baby. I am for sure overwhelmed and I know I will lose my mind during the trial. I often have days still where Im reliving the fear again. I'm feeling overly protective of the baby I'm pregnant with now, like someone might hurt him too. Im so scared for it to happen again than ive cut so many people out my life. How do I cope with this stress? Any suggestions?

wildflower_

First of all, I am so deeply heartbroken to hear about the loss of your little boy. It is nothing short of absolutely tragic when a parent has to bury their child. I stumbled on this thread by accident, so I have no personal experience. My suggestion is to know how powerful our mind and body are - maybe some guided meditations would be helpful for you. Additionally finding a (few) daily mantra(s) that can help not only calm you, but reassure you, your body, your baby - that babies are strong and resilient, and they will come when they are ready. Maybe something powerful that reminds you that this is hard, but you are one step closer to justice for Dexter. 

Currently I am pregnant after two losses, one being from about the same time last year. I have a great deal of anxiety and I’ve chosen to reassure myself daily. “Today I am pregnant. Today you are my baby and I will love the time I get to be your momma.” This is because I want to remind myself to be present in the moment with my pregnancy and baby and soak in every day that is a blessing to be pregnant with them. It may sound silly at first, but it truly has helped to calm me. 

I truly hope you are able to find comfort and peace.