Let's Talk About Sex — The Bump
2nd Trimester

Let's Talk About Sex

Hi Mommas,

Serious question (and I hope everyone doesn't mind if I'm being too forward), how often do you have sex with DH? I try for about twice a week if I can.  But recently I've still been feeling queasy from the first trimester while transitioning into the second, not to mention I am exhausted all the time. I often prioritize sleep over sex. DH called me out for refusing sex even though we had intercourse about 3-4 days ago. The conversation was not aggressive, but you could tell his feelings were hurt. 

How often does everyone have sex with your DH and how do you handle it while being so exhausted during pregnancy? 

Re: Let's Talk About Sex

  • Hi Mommas,

    Serious question (and I hope everyone doesn't mind if I'm being too forward), how often do you have sex with DH? I try for about twice a week if I can.  But recently I've still been feeling queasy from the first trimester while transitioning into the second, not to mention I am exhausted all the time. I often prioritize sleep over sex. DH called me out for refusing sex even though we had intercourse about 3-4 days ago. The conversation was not aggressive, but you could tell his feelings were hurt. 

    How often does everyone have sex with your DH and how do you handle it while being so exhausted during pregnancy? 
    Actually, rarely it happened. It made my husband feel weird that baby was in there and it made him not want to have sex.  If you are not in the mood, and don't want to, he needs to understand that you have ALOT going on with your body and sex is not the top of the priority list.  Sorry if I seem blunt, but that is my thought. 
    wabash15
  • Probably about twice a week. I've definitely been more into it lately though! I've been trying to view sex as a privilege instead of my "duty". Yes, being pregnant can make it hard and it helps to have understanding husbands. On the other hand we also should be mindful of our husband's needs instead of always making it about us😊
  • Just saying a marriage should never be 50/50 but 100/100. Maybe it's an unpopular opinion in this day and age lol. And I'm not saying I'm perfect at it either. But in order for a marriage to work, you have to be willing to give unselfishly and put your spouse's needs ahead of your own. Pregnant or not!
  • thatcmathatcma
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    member
    When I was pregnant it honestly was rare. You SO should be understanding of this. Its not a duty. 
    Me: 29 DH:31
    Friends: 6/2007

    Dating: 2/2012
    Married: 5/2015
    Member of BMB 7/2017

    DD: 6/27/2017


    kingdommomwabash15kiki75
  • My boyfriend and I were very active pre-pregnancy. Our libidos since getting pregnant has been all over the place for the both of us. In the 1st trimester, i wanted it all the time but he was scared of hurting the baby and had experienced a miscarriage in the past so it took some time for him to realize that my body will protect the baby and she has no idea what we are up to! When the 2nd trimester came, my libido tanked a bit. And my poor boyfriend had to get used to not being spoiled by my grooming habits since i lost sight of my vagina before my toes. In the third tri, both our libidos have increased but i think part of it is because we are both dreading the 6 weeks we wont be allowed to! Some days i dont feel up to it but we probably have sex anywhere from 1-4 times a week. If i dont feel up to the whole thing, i make sure to make him feel wanted or desired in other ways. Cuddling during a movie, Groping him randomly like we are teenagers again or he gets one of those blow jobs he loves so much, things like that. For us, its okay as long as we dont feel ignored or forgotten by the other. 

    It doesnt matter what other couples do. What matters is if YOU are satisfied. Find ways to show your man some affection that doesnt put you out. And let him know that you do love and desire him. Reassure him and yourself that you guys will get back into the swing of things eventually. This "dry spell" is only temporary. 

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    kingdommom
  • thatcmathatcma
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    member
    kiki75 said:
    Just saying a marriage should never be 50/50 but 100/100. Maybe it's an unpopular opinion in this day and age lol. And I'm not saying I'm perfect at it either. But in order for a marriage to work, you have to be willing to give unselfishly and put your spouse's needs ahead of your own. Pregnant or not!
    But ... doesn't that go both ways? I agree, a marriage needs to be 100/100 to work, which includes him giving 100%. He should also be putting your needs, which may be to not have sex for a bit, ahead of his own. 
    Especially when you are busy gestating his baby. He can go handle himself.
    Exactly. My DH understood that pregnancy messes with hormones and understood that during these few months my needs did come first because my needs met our baby's needs. He had no issues taking care of himself when he needed release.
    Me: 29 DH:31
    Friends: 6/2007

    Dating: 2/2012
    Married: 5/2015
    Member of BMB 7/2017

    DD: 6/27/2017


    stassischroeder
  • Hubby and I are on about an every 3 day tune up. LOL So I’m usually ok with it bc I know how long he can go without. If I don’t want to though he is quick to say it can wait. He is such a patient man. Very understanding and I love it. 
  • Damn and I thought we were doing good at once per week. Unfortunately my husband is going on week 4 of being sick. 3 weeks of nothing :( we had sex over the weekend and now he's super sick again and we don't wanna get me sick. It sucks! But I was happy with once per week. 
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