September 2019 Moms

Telling the boss...

Hello everyone! I was just wondering when everyone was planning to tell their employer the big news. I know it won't take long for the news to make its way around the office, which makes me want to wait until 12 wks. Then again, we have travel coming up in March and April  (hasn't been scheduled yet). So, it's making all of my appointments quite difficult to fit in, especially since I don't have the travel dates yet. There's nothing she can do to get the dates sooner, but it's still frustrating. I've got 3 appts in March alone  (10 wk sono, pre natal, and genetic testing) and my husband has training he cant miss  for 2 wks in March and 2 wks in April so I'm just getting a bit overwhelmed with all of the dates and appointments. Does anyone know if the appointments slow down after the genetic testing  (13wks)? 
P.s. I just started this job in Nov so I'll only have 5 wks total of leave by my due date. In november we got some horrible news about my Dads health so I asked for some flexibility for that. I'm worried they may frown upon this pregnancy instead of being happy and excited. 

Re: Telling the boss...

  • @nightdreamr13 I have told my manager and general manager that I am expecting. Mostly because of having to take off a lot for DR appointments, and having a hard time getting through my days. Thankfully I have a very understanding workplace. I do not plan on telling my coworkers until 12 weeks. I want to tell my family before I tell them.
    Me: 31 │ DH: 30
    Married 05/26/17
    STM; DS 9/14/2019
    EDD 6/13/2022
  • I'm in the same boat as @kaceyallan. I told my supervisor around 9.5 weeks because I've been scheduling more appointments, in case I was running late due to m/s, and for planning purposes (baby is due right at the end of our fiscal year). I made it clear to him that it was still early and I wasn't ready to let the rest of the team (and the company) know until after my 12 week scan.

    Funnily enough, he told me his wife is due with their second just a few days after me - so at this point he's keeping my secret and I'm keeping his!
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  • I ended up telling my bosses (who coincidentally are also my BIL's - so my situation is obviously a little unusual to begin with) a couple of weeks ago. However, I told them earlier than planned because I had gotten a little reprimanded for missing too much work already this year... which coincided with my being put on salary and looked like I was capitalizing on paid sick days whereas I was hourly prior to the start of the year and would have had to make up the time.  So I told way earlier than expected because I didn't want them to think I was being a greedy B when in reality I was just deadpants from first tri.  Andplusalso my SIL (who also works here / is married to one of the boss BIL's) had JUST announced that they are pregnant and due just a couple weeks before me, so I was getting super antsy talking pregnancy symptoms with her knowing we were totally in the same boat and wanting to commiserate, but hadn't told her yet.
  • I already let my bosses know just due to scheduling appointments. I'm due at our busiest time of year, so we need to start planning now.
  • I just told mine this morning since I've been extra sick lately. I'd rather them understand why ive been feeling crummy or why I may be late/ out ahead of the fact. I am 10 weeks too, so pretty close to 2nd tri!
    I just popped into their offices 1 by 1 asking if they had a couple minutes. I just told them I'm pregnant again (Baby #2) and when I am due and we did a brief overview of any logistics that could be effected. 
    Married 6/5/14 in Ireland
    1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
  • Every situation is unique I think depending on what you do. You should tell them when you are comfortable telling them, and also knowing when they should know so as not to get frustrated with you if they feel you are slacking or missing a lot of work. I happen to have one of those bosses that looks at pregnancy as a huge frustration to herself and staffing/coverage issues, so she’s never been supportive. It’s a bummer, but everyone knows she’s that way and just looks out for one another, and ignores her if she’s lacking in kindness. Also, can you take unpaid leave? I’m pretty sure it’s law to be able to take at least 6 weeks maternity leave, right? 
  • I haven't told my boss yet and I'm actually a little anxious about it. Half of our team works in the office and half are remote WFH. Everyone who works remote (in other states, from home) is a mom, including my boss, and does their thing. They all also have older kids, middle through high school. Everyone in my office is younger, half are married half not, and not a single one is a mother or ever wants to/intends to be one, which is totally fine. My boss already gave me crap this year saying that if I'm working from home and my son is home with me, that I should technically be taking PTO, per company policy. I checked with HR and this is actually not company policy and most workers have a lot of leniency with this as long as they get their work done, but I don't know if she knows that or what. She also made one comment saying "if we let you work from home any time your child is sick or is home for the day, then who's to say that ::other employee:: won't want to have a child so SHE can work from home with her child (said colleague is single, unmarried, and doesn't want children. That comment was SO misguided of her to say) Then she also made a flippant comment at one point about how "kids are really only interesting when they're your own." I don't know what her deal is with me. Her boss was my initial boss before a reorganization, and she loooooves me and hearing about DS, so it's just kind of an awkward situation now. I just had a performance review though where she totally sung my praises and didn't have one single negative or even not super amazingly positive thing to say about me. Anyways, I'm just nervous about how she's going to respond. I've also only been with this job for about 8 months now and am nervous about going back to work at 12 weeks when after DS I didn't go back to work until he was 16 months. Ugh, I'm a mess. But I need to tell sooner than later because it's becoming obvious by my bloat, nausea, and wardrobe changes that will be mandatory soon, so people in the office will know and I should definitely tell her before she hears through the grapevine. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @blitzybee I can use unpaid leave. There's also an overtime opportunity I plan to take advantage of where I can earn 1.5x my salary or earn hr for hr leave. I plan to take the leave which I'm sure will also raise some red flags.

    @sunshine2417 I completely understand where you're coming from. I don't know if my boss is going to be supportive or not. Being so new I'm afraid this is going to be frowned upon. We want to make an official social media post at 12 wks so I feel like I should tell her before then but I'm so nervous about it.
  • I told my boss almost right away. Given my profession and the fact that we are already going to be down a person who will also be on maternity leave, I wanted to give her time to go through the procedure to get an LTE/Temp employee. It’s for the government so there are lots of hoops to jump through. I would also want her support if something went wrong and I needed some time off or whatever. 
    Me: 30   DH:31 
    Married 9/2010
    TTC 10/2013
    RE Help from 10/2014-10/2016 (11 failed IUIs, a corrective surgery, and a donor embryo cycle)
    9/2016-transferred two donor embies
    BFP 9/29/26 EDD June 11
    BabyGaga BabyFruit Ticker
  • I am nervous to tell me boss. I don't know why they're pretty good and haven't given me problems in the past. I guess just thinking of verbally putting it out there is scary. Plus I really don't want to be asked all the time how I'm feeling. 
  • My supervisor knew very early because she knew we were trying and she asked. She asked me to tell our manager this week(9) because she is also pregnant and I was being trained to cover her maternity leave that will start in July/August.
    Well, I’ll need my own leave in September now so we’ll need to get a travel person to get some more coverage. I ideally wanted to wait until closer to 12 but I understand that she needs to be able to get the ball rolling on submitting paperwork for a traveler and whatnot. 
  • I told my boss right away. We are really close and I've told her at 4 weeks every time. She was super supportive throughout. (TW- I experienced a loss and she was super kind).

    My situation is awkward because I took Nov, Dev and Jan to be home due to personal circumstances. I had just come back from mat leave in May of 2018, then my kids were sick and our childcare situation was pretty toxic. The plan was to take care of stuff on the home front and come back to work to tackle the career piece. Then, I found out I was pregnant w #3 which was a HUGE surprise. Basically, I am only back for 6 months before I am gone again :/ I thought my boss would be upset but she was very supportive as always. I feel so bad but what am I going to do. From a capacity standpoint, I am the only one that does what I do and it's hard to find a backfill. I am working really hard (despite terrible m/s) to make this transition as pain-free as possible. 

    @sunshine2417 that's really annoying. Working moms are rockstars. I hired one for my team and she was so incredible that after a year, I went to my boss and told her she needed to be promoted ASAP. She had left the workforce for 8 years. She's now my peer and my favorite person to work with. Also, I wfh most of the week and I am way more productive than co-workers that spend "12 hours at the office." Just being present in an office does not make you more productive! 

    Me: 34 DH:38
    DS: 18 months   <3
    Dx DOR AMH .2
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img 
  • Honestly, I'm terrified to tell my boss and think I will right before I make it Facebook official or we have our performance review in April or May. Whichever comes first. I think she is going to be quite upset and blame me/say something wildly inappropriate because another coworker is due 6 weeks before me and both of us on leave royally screws them over. In my defense, which I shouldn't need but will, I was already pregnant before said coworker had her announcement so....
  • I told my boss as soon as I found out, but only because I needed to request a fetal monitor badge since I am exposed to low doses of radiation. I wasn't planning on tell coworkers until after the 1st trimester, but due to an incident at work at 9 weeks everyone found out haha
  • I told my boss early I figured she would figure it out with all the appointments like she did with my first. 
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