Hospital Bedrest/NICU life

lyse01

Starting this so @kyashley1227 doesn’t have to do so while in active labor and so that we have a place for the rest of our high risk ladies if things progress rather suddenly.

consider it a place for updates, vents about hospitalization, advice, etc.

lyse01

Super annoyed that the Bump won’t let me just copy/paste my advice on prepping for the nicu from March.

My posts are on p1

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12737757/bedrest-hospital-stay-nicu-thread#latest

mermaidca

Former NICU mom here!  My littles spent 56 days in the NICU.  Feel free to ask questions here or PM me if anyone has any!  It's a tough time but a distant memory now.

mrstmoose

We got lucky with DD and she was only in the NICU while I was hospitalized and in the PICU for 5 days when she was born. But I am familiar with antenatal stays and I'm here if anyone needs me!

lyse01

Bump for @angelob88
eta: and @mrdcle

sister_c

I was also lucky that DS had a short stay in the NICU - 7 days.  But the experience shaped my transition to motherhood in big ways. Happy to talk if anyone wants to reach out.

MRDCle

Thanks for the tag @lyse01. I'll take this update out of spam.

Both boys are IUGR now. Baby A ~ 10% and Baby B ~ 4%. They both look great on their BPP and NST today, but in terms of growth they're going to grow better out than in. I got my first shot of steroids today. Tomorrow I have an OB appointment at 8:00am and then go back to the hospital for my second round of steroids. Tomorrow at the OB we will discuss mode of delivery. Both are head down so vaginal is possible, so we need to discuss if I want to try for an induction (had a relatively easy induction with DS) or if I want to just do a CS. Induction would likely start Wednesday afternoon (33+3) and CS would likely be Thursday AM (33+4). 

I'm feeling a lot of guilt over failing these boys by not being able to help them grow more. And I'm really afraid to fuck up and not choose the right mode of delivery. MFM today said they will be in NICU MINIMUM two weeks, but likely longer. 

mermaidca

@MRDCle you are 100% not a failure.  If they're offering both options it means either would be safe and a good choice.  Just be ready to go with it and plans may change.  Be strong.  You will have your little loves with you soon!  Happy to chat if you need support.

professormama

@MRDCle +1 for you are NOT a failure. This is so out of your control. You've provided your babies a safe happy home all this time, and now your body and theirs just need them to be outside babies. And the amazing thing is, we live in this world of so much medical advancement that it sounds like you'll all be okay. Yes, NICU for 2+ weeks will blow hard. But it sounds like they're going to be okay and so are you, and that is what's really important. You and your body are doing amazing, no matter how awful it feels. All the support and love for you!

jayhawkmom4

@MRDCle don’t you dare think like that. You didn’t fail them in any way! You made it to 33 weeks WITH twins! That is a victory in itself! You are amazing! 

wildcosmiclove

@MRDCle You are not failing these babies, mama! You are doing the best you can in a situation that is out of your control. Lots of love to you.

lilpotatomama

@MRDCle what everyone else said pretty much covers it for me - you are absolutely not a failure. You have grown and nourished those boys inside your body, and you’ll continue to do so once they’re born! We all send you our love and support. 

saucentoss

+1 to all the other commenters.  Hoping the boys have a minimal NICU stay.

rennie1108

@MRDCle we are all here for you! Try not to be too hard on yourself. I cant imagine carrying twins. You're doing great, please keep us posted!! Xoxo

honey_suckle

@MRDCle You can do this! You've done great so far, and independently of what mode of delivery you or the doctors choose, it will be fine, it will just be the babies own way of coming into this world. Focus on how great it will be to finally meet the boys, and good luck with everything! Lots of twin love from across the Atlantic, looking forward to catching up more after delivery. ❤️❤️❤️

kaitykins

@MRDCle you grew two humans and kept them well. I’ll be praying for you and your babies!

lyse01

@MRDCle Not a failure, not at all, though I understand the feeling. Remember the BPP showed they were strong and active and developmentally solid. Just small. So now, you get to nourish and protect and teach them from the outside, which is just as legitimate a way to help them grow as keeping them inside. In fact, by making a choice to deliver now, you’re helping them grow better and that is the very opposite of failure. It’s good parenting.

NICU parents, especially ones who spend a long time there, are at high risk (something like 40% diagnosed) for PPD/PPA/PTSD, and it often manifests in thought patterns like this. Start asking for the NICU social worker now and alert your OB to these thoughts at your morning appointment. 

Grab the lactation consultant while you’re at it - breastmilk is the #1 medicine you can provide, and there is zero shame in donor milk if you need it.

sheknows6

I'm late to this party but please don't be so hard on yourself @mrdcle! This is totally outside of your control and you've carried those babies as far as you could. You're not a failure

fuzzywombat

@MRDCle please be kind to yourself! Know that we’re all rooting like hell for you and your boys 

mrstmoose

@mrdcle ditto what everyone else said and sending all the love your way.

wabash15

Lurking**
@MRDCle you are not failing your boys, you are doing everything you can for them. You won't choose the wrong method of delivery. If you try for vaginal and it works well then awesome, if not your docs will be monitoring the hell out of you and do everything to get you two healthy babies. I know its scary but soon your little fighters will be here. Good luck tomorrow. MoM's can do anything!! 

MRDCle

Today's update - OB checked my cervix - 2.5cm and 40% effaced (last Tuesday I was 0cm/0%) so thankfully we are progressing. Baby A is estimated at 4lb and Baby B 3lb 12oz, and both are head down. MFMs and OB seem confident that they will be better on the outside, and both think that trying a vaginal birth is worth a shot, so I'm waiting on scheduling to give me a call with a date time - OB wants Thursday (33+4) so that the steroid shots have a better chance of kicking in, but Wednesday is our option 2 if we can't get Thursday. I'm freaking out, but doing my best to trust that the experts know what they're talking about. Other than that I feel pretty OK - very tired from lack of sleep last night and crampy from my cervical check. Going back to L&D tonight around 5 for round two of steroids.

Thank you all for all of your kind words. They brought tears to my eyes. I will definitely be updating the next couple days - I am working from home for the next couple hours to just do a few last minute things to make sure my team is good to go, and then just relaxing and trying to stay relaxed until Thursday.

angelob88

Thank you for the bump! I'll start updating here going forward

ETA: @MRDCle keep going strong mama,  you are doing amazing for your boys and I feel the struggle with wondering if there was something I could have done to prevent this. In all honesty, babies are not on our timelines/schedules and as hard as that is all we can do is stay strong for them and make the best decisions we can with what we have to work with. Sounds like your provider team is amazing and things are going to work out. NICU time isn't going to be fun but thankfully the team sounds super positive about outcomes.

kosmo86

@MRDCle - I can't imagine how scary this is for you but you are in good hands and everything will work out!

tumblefluff

@MRDCle prayers for a quick and safe delivery whenever that may be!  

kristenhk

@MRDCle sending good thoughts your way and like everyone else has said, you are NOT a failure to your boys whatsoever.  Like @kosmo86 said, this is completely out of your control and you've done everything you can to get them to this point where they are healthy and strong enough to get through this.  Sounds like you have an awesome team behind you.  Hoping things go as safely and smoothly as possible, hang in there! 

MRDCle

@kyashley1227 how are you and Noah holding up?

@angelob88 any updates today? We’re you able to get some rest at all?

angelob88

@MRDCle I was able to get much better sleep last night, they switched my vitals from every two hours to every 6 unless I'm sleeping then they wait 8. They took out my IV this morning and I am officially off the medication stopping contractions since the steroids have had the time to fully do their job. Right now it's oral antibiotics 3 times a day and putting baby on the monitor twice a day to check in. Hoping to get to 35 weeks before we reassess but I could technically have this baby any day now. It all depends on when my body decides to go into labor. Birth from now to next Monday will be automatic nicu time and if it waits until Tuesday nicu time will be based on how baby does after birth. These next few days are going to be extremely long and boring chained to the hospital bed though.

mrstmoose

@angelob88 I had to do some antenatal stay and @lyse01 has had NICU experience. I would say to have your DH bring you some books/magazines and an laptop/tablet of some kind to binge on Netflix. 

lyse01

Yep! Antenatal time too. I highly recommend getting yourself organized for NICU time, and also to finish projects like photo albums (online or off) that you never ever have enough enforced downtime for at home. Binging Netflix gets old quickly.

mrstmoose

Ohhhh doing stuff on shutterfly (or whatever you use) is a great idea!

lyse01

@angelob88 still hanging strong?
@MRDCle thinking of you today!

triskele

@MRDCle Hope you and your little ones are doing well today. Echoing everyone else you are in no way a failure! You are a freaking warrior goddess! Sending love and strength to you and your little ones 💜

@angelob88 Glad you got better sleep. Fingers crossed you get to 35 weeks! 💜

sheepshepherdess

@MRDCle good luck today! 

@angelob88 rooting for 35 weeks! 

angelob88

@MRDCle thinking of you today!

As for me, I'm hanging in there. Baby is still doing well and there was only one contraction on the monitor this morning that I couldn't feel so that's also a good sign that for right now baby is staying put. I was up all night coughing last night though so I'm hopeful that baby is going to wait for this weird cold to go away. I know my DD had a really bad cough the night before my water broke (she was snuggled next to me in bed all night) and hers is almost gone so I figure I have a day or two. Being away from her is the hardest part so far, she is giving DH a run for his money while getting ready, this morning she kept telling him that she wanted mommy to get her ready. She knows something is going on but doesn't completely understand. I'm torn between wanting to be there for her but also keeping her sibling cooking which means being here. 5 more days until I hit the main milestone I'm shooting for.

cabearit

@MRDCle best wishes and good vibes for babies day!! 

@angelob88 this is great to hear If anything, maybe this forced down-time will help speed up the recovery from your cold. 

(Edited to correct my spelling)

MRDCle

Hey all - just hanging out in labor and delivery. We did cytotec which is doing a great job triggering contractions. In about an hour well her another check and probably start pitocin. Boys look great so far. 

sheknows6

you got this @mrdcle

frenchfrymama

T&P for you both, @MRDCle and @angelob88!!!  

rennie1108

@MRDCle that's great news! Keep us posted when you can!

@angelob88 also great news. Keep cooking baby!

kaitykins

Good job both of you! Prayed for both situations tonight and hoping for excellent outcomes.