TFAS w/o 1/7 — The Bump
Trying to Get Pregnant

TFAS w/o 1/7

**This is a check-in for those with babies/children at home. Please be mindful that the discussion of living children in the WTO/TWW threads is prohibited unless extremely pertinent to your current cycle.** 
**If you are having a hard day re TTC or TTCAL, please note that this thread will discuss living children and/or issues specifically dealing with parenting and/or babies. Pregnancy may also be mentioned. Please lurk at your own discretion.**

Number you are trying for: 



Ages of other child(ren):

Thoughts about this cycle:



GTKY: What feature or trait does your LO have that's completely different from both you and YH?

Re: TFAS w/o 1/7

  • Month/Cycle: 24/1 A/l

    WTO/TWW: wto I think 

    Ages of other child(ren). Dd is 7 and ds is almost 6

    Thoughts about this cycle:  if I O’ed yesterday, timing is great

    Questions: none

    Rant/Rave/Brag:  dd woke me up vomiting at 3 this morning, she only got sick once, but my mom also has a stomach virus, so I am just waiting to see who is next.  Ds was so mad this morning he had to go to school and kept saying it was unfair and he wanted to throw up.

    GTKY: What feature or trait does your LO have that's completely different from both you and YH?

    This ones tough, because our kids are so alike us, besides my children’s hatred of Neil Young music.  Both kids can roll their tongues and we can’t.

    Me: 30 DH:32

    DD 3/11  

    MMC 2/12

    DS 1/13

    TTC #3 since 2/17.  Malignant molar missed miscarriage 8/22/17

  • kbrown2385kbrown2385 member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 8
    @holly321 ugh I’m really hoping the stomach bug skips everyone else for you. It’s the worst! 

    Number you are trying for: 2

    Month/Cycle: 26/benched for testing 

    WTO/TWW: tww

    Ages of other child(ren): 3.5

    Thoughts about this cycle: 1 cycle closer to getting off the bench! I should be getting my saline sono this month and then back to trying (pending any crazy results)

    Questions: Nah

    Rant/Rave/Brag: We got ds legos for Christmas and it was probably the best gift we could have gotten him. He can spend hours quietly playing with them and building all sorts of things. Obviously I’m ok with that haha.

    GTKY: What feature or trait does your LO have that's completely different from both you and YH? Nothing comes to mind, but I may come back and change it. 

    Edit words are hard
  • @holly321 I hope everyone else manages to avoid it. DS will have a very different opinion if he does catch it.

    Number you are trying for: 
    3 (ish)

    Month/Cycle: 18

    WTO/TWW: TWW but since we only got off the bench on O day, I have 0 hope

    Ages of other child(ren): DS is 3 Neice is 10

    Thoughts about this cycle: wasted


    Rant/Rave/Brag: Since DH was away, I expected tonight to be tough. Luckily it went fairly smooth aside from me having to stay with DS until he fell asleep. Neice and I had some bonding time making bracelets yesterday. She got this neat machine for Christmas. So much easier then how I use to do it. I'm gonna have to whip her up an "old school" one this week.

    GTKY: What feature or trait does your LO have that's completely different from both you and YH? blonde hair. DH and I are both brunettes. He is BLONDE and of course blue eyes to our hazel. MIL is blonde and BIL was too so it makes sense. But the comments always come. Where'd the blonde come from? Is he the milk mans kid? It's pretty annoying.
  • @kbrown2385 my kids are obsessed with legos!   DS used to sit and build huge towers with them.  I hope you get good results and unbenched!

    @prpl11butterfly I am glad things went well without your dh tonight.  I still have to stay with ds most nights until he is asleep, fortunately he falls asleep really fast. 

    Me: 30 DH:32

    DD 3/11  

    MMC 2/12

    DS 1/13

    TTC #3 since 2/17.  Malignant molar missed miscarriage 8/22/17

  • @kbrown2385 DS loves his duplo. I just wish I didn't have to be quite so involved in his Lego adventures 😂

    @holly321 I do a lot of nights. Some nights are rough, I anticipated tonight and gave him melatonin (feel free to judge away everyone 😂). 
  • @prpl11butterfly, we use melatonin regularly.  Dd has always had trouble sleeping.  She wouldn’t go to sleep, stay asleep or nap.  Without it, she would be up well past midnight most nights.  Her doctor told us to give it to her a few years ago and it has been life changing.

    Me: 30 DH:32

    DD 3/11  

    MMC 2/12

    DS 1/13

    TTC #3 since 2/17.  Malignant molar missed miscarriage 8/22/17

  • @holly321 phew 😉 my mom hates it. But my sanity truly needs the help.
  • @holly321 Ugh I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that on top of everything! I loled at the Neil Young thing. My DD has the same taste in music as me (although she might not yet know she has a choice) 

    @kbrown2385 yay for almost off the bench! I hope your sono results are great. 

    @prpl11butterfly blonde hair is so random! I know a lot of little towheads who have dark-haired parents. Maybe it will get darker when he's older! I'm blonde and my DD had dark hair at birth! (it fell out and grew back light

    Number you are trying for: 2

    Month/Cycle: 8


    Ages of other child(ren): 2

    Thoughts about this cycle: Well, I started out thinking very positively. For some reason this week everybody and their mom thinks they need to ask me about when #2 is coming. So I'm holding onto my positivity, but barely. Thankfully, I keep reminding myself that I should have two shots at October (if my cycles are 'average'), so that's helping. And, January is when we conceived DD, so maybe I'm super fertile in January? Also, my OB suggested we stick to EOD. I think that's more sustainable, since this doesn't seem to be happening fast, and that's what worked the first time. But, it's hard to feel like that's enough! (woah, this somehow turned into a giant stream-of-consciousness rant).

    Questions: nah

    Rant/Rave/Brag: had not a great weekend for potty training. Ugh. 

    GTKY: What feature or trait does your LO have that's completely different from both you and YH?

    She is a chatterbox!! Neither DH and I are like that. She also is not at all interested in food (also super unlike us). It takes like an hour to get supper in her belly because she's too busy talking or dancing, or who knows what else. 
  • Number you are trying for: 3

    Month/Cycle:  1 (may have missed my chance this cycle. Should know in a few days or so.)

    WTO/TWW: See above

    Ages of other child(ren):4 and 2

    Thoughts about this cycle: I haven't had my period in 6 weeks now. Not uncommon for me (I tend to have incredibly long cycles), but it makes me anxious nonetheless. If it doesn't come in a week or so and I don't test positive, will probably head to the OB.

    Questions: None

    Rant/Rave/Brag: Neither of my kids got in trouble at school today. That's a big win!

    GTKY: What feature or trait does your LO have that's completely different from both you and YH? Both my kids have lighter hair than my husband and me. We both have always had dark brown hair, but the kids have a similar light brown color to each other.

  • sorarosesorarose member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 8
    @holly321 said:
    @prpl11butterfly, we use melatonin regularly.  Dd has always had trouble sleeping.  She wouldn’t go to sleep, stay asleep or nap.  Without it, she would be up well past midnight most nights.  Her doctor told us to give it to her a few years ago and it has been life changing.
    We should try this for my 4yo. He has always been a terrible sleeper, and never considered trying this. Thx!

  • kimmer1412kimmer1412 member
    100 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited January 8
    Number you are trying for: 2

    Month/Cycle: 3/2

    WTO/TWW: tww 20/6

    Ages of other child(ren): 6.5

    Thoughts about this cycle: my timing and chart look soooooo good but trying not to get my hopes up

    Questions: nah 

    Rant/Rave/Brag: I scored a 2nd pair of Rothys from my MIL, i wanted to exchange the pair she got me for xmas for s different color but instead she just bought me a black pair and told me to keep the other pair. 

    GTKY: What feature or trait does your LO have that's completely different from both you and YH?

    My son is super artistic and neither me or MH are artistic. 

    ETA to change my GTKY answer 
  • @prpl11butterfly I subscribe to the “whatever gets you through the day” method of parenting. If it gets everyone sleep, rock on with the melatonin lol. 
  • Number you are trying for: 2

    Month/Cycle: 1/1


    Ages of other child(ren): 22 months

    Thoughts about this cycle: Started opks today....hope to see some high fertility/peak soon!

    Questions: negative

    Rant/Rave/Brag: DH travels for work and of course he is going on a work trip during the fertile week around possible O. I hope we don't miss the window...per FF I am supposed to O next Monday or Tuesday so we could definitely still DTD on Sunday and Monday morning, maybe I will O earlier this month?! Its just really frustrating because I feel like the same thing happened last time we were TTC and we missed O completely some months because he was gone :(

    GTKY: What feature or trait does your LO have that's completely different from both you and YH? Hmm I feel like so far she is pretty similar to DH and I...she has a lot of his physical features but my personality.
  • Spartanrd4Spartanrd4 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 8

    @holly321 sorry about all the sickness in the family! That is so funny that your kids are tongue rollers and neither you or your H can. I can but DH can't and my DD can...don't know why I think this genetic trait is so neat lol!

    @kbrown2385 DD loves duplo blocks, legos are awesome. I hope your sono goes well and you can get off the bench!

    @prpl11butterfly I am glad things are going well so far with DH away, I have to do solo a lot too and it can be so hard.

    @Jennifer_louise Sorry to hear about potty training- I feel like I needed to back off a bit with it because I think I was making DD more resistant the more pressure I was doing.

    @sorarose I used to have long cycles too....they were the worst. I hope there is an end in sight soon.

    @kimmer1412 I love rothys! They are so comfortable.

  • @holly321 - Has anyone else gotten sick?? It's hilarious when kids wish sickness upon themselves because it seems fun.

    @kbrown2385 - When I was a kid, my siblings and I played with legos for hours! Glad he's enjoying them.

    @prpl11butterfly - Its interesting when traits skip a generation, or don't show in their parents. My brother has one blue eye and one green, but my parents are brown and hazel. 🤷
    Also, no judgment on the melatonin. It's natural, right? lol

    @jennifer_louise - I feel like once your first is around 18 months to 2 years, people start expecting another baby. It's annoying and I'm only hitting the edge of that with the expectations. So far, they've only come from my family, whom I told straight up that we've been trying for 9 months, and when I'm having the next kid, they'll be the first to know.

    @kimmer1412 - Score on another pair of Rothys! My sister got a skirt that didn't fit her for Christmas, so guess who got it? Yep! 

    @Spartanrd4 - Hopefully you O right on time, so you can have good timing!

    Number you are trying for: 2

    Month/Cycle: 9/8

    WTO/TWW: TWW! (4dpo)

    Ages of other child(ren): 15 months

    Thoughts about this cycle: Strangely hopeful. My EDD would be 2 days after my DD birthday, so that has me feeling giddy.

    Questions: none

    Rant/Rave/Brag: DD has been so helpful in the kitchen lately. She loves bringing me everything in the dishwasher and putting it on the countertop. I just have to be on top of my game and make sure I empty all the glass out first.

    GTKY: What feature or trait does your LO have that's completely different from both you and YH?
    Oooh, this is a hard one. She has brown eyes and both DH and I have hazel. 
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker

  • @marebear15 oh I love scoring free clothes 
  • Number you are trying for: 2

    Month/Cycle: 8/8


    Ages of other child(ren): 1.5ish

    Thoughts about this cycle: We’ll find out in a few days I suppose...the last few months I’ve been convinced I’m KU...and then I’m not. Waaaah!


    Rant/Rave/Brag: DS is a tiny bookworm and I love it!! Over the weekend he brought DH a book for him to read a couple times! I tried to stay away so they could get some good bonding time in but it’s so hard! I just want to go in there and snuggle both of them because it’s the best thing ever!!

    GTKY: DS is basically a spitting image of DH (blonde-ish with light blue eyes) and I think his personality is very similar to mine - very happy go lucky, but he wants what he wants (lol). differences from us yet. This kid is definitely ours. 

    DS: 05.2017

    #2 EDD: 09.2019

  • @holly321 Gah the stomach bug sounds horrible, I pray every year not to get it. It has already made rounds in our house 2 times since August.

    @kbrown2385 ; We adore legos in our house also... Until one is stepped on then I want to throw them all away! 

    @prpl11butterfly My H is away also, and I expected bedtime to be a nightmare. It hasn't gone near as bad as I expected. FX it stays that way for both of us. Also, we need to see this bracelet! I remember when the rubbery material ones were so popular, it would take me says to make those things crossing all those strings.

    @sorarose It is always a nice day when I hear my kids didn't move their pins! 

    @kimmer1412 I have been wanting to try Rothy's but I have no reason to because I work from home and when I go out I have to wear heels! I am jealous of anyone who gets to wear them, they look amazing.

    @marebear15 ; FX for a great month for you! Also, I have a love/hate relationship with the stage of I want to help all! I think we had so many broken plates/glasses during that time, but such a good learning experience and growth that you can watch! 

    Number you are trying for: 3

    Month/Cycle: 8/6 (still guessing at this)


    Ages of other child(ren): 6 & 3

    Thoughts about this cycle: Well per Dr orders we were supposed to be taking a cycle off... *TW 

    Apparently after my MC my body decided to Ovulate instead of start a period. So dtd on NYE and then felt O pains on 2nd and was like WHATTTTTTTT

    Questions: Nope 

    Rant/Rave/Brag: Basketball games start tonight and we are 37 day range from our cruise! Busy and fun next month!

    GTKY: What feature or trait does your LO have that's completely different from both you and YH? 6YO is super shy and timid and both myself, DH and 3YO are super talkative Type A people. 3YO likes singing dancing and that isn't in line with the rest of us, we have no rhythm.
    Pets in Snow - TTGP January sig challenge

  • @holly321 Lol @ YS being mad. Kids are freakin hilarious! Very interesting about the rolling of the tongue - DH can’t but I can so we’re curious if DS will be able to,

    @kbrown2385 I’m keeping my FX for nothing crazy during your sono and test results!

    @prpl11butterfly I’m glad you had a successful night with the kids without YH. I hope you were able to steal a few minutes for yourself!

    @jennifer_louise Preach sister! I’ve been fielding Q’s about #2 since DS turned 1. Honestly, it’s way worse now than when we didn’t have DS. It’s almost like well, we know you can successfully reproduce so why aren’t you adding to your brood yet?? Before DS I would play the whole “we’re
    just really enjoying traveling and being DINKS” and now I dgaf and tell them that it’s harder than you think to make babies and I wish I was already KU. That either shuts them up or I get a speech about how I “need to relax and it’ll happen”. Grrr.

    @sorarose Welcome! I hope your stay is short & sweet here!

    @kimmer1412 Score for the additional pair of Rothy’s! 

    @Spartanrd4 MH travels a lot for work, so I feel your pain on the potential of travel during FW. HIO before and after he travels and hopefully you’ll cover all your bases!

    @marebear15 My fingers are crossed so f*cking hard for you friend!! Way to go on scoring that skirt. I love unexpected free stuff!

    DS: 05.2017

    #2 EDD: 09.2019

  • @shamrocandroll I hope that they reconsider their thoughts on the weekly thread, monthly is enough.

    Pets in Snow - TTGP January sig challenge

  • @holly321:  Boo for sickness, and hopefully DS avoids it!  

    @kbrown2385:  hooray for getting "back in the game" - hopefully time flies by for you (and results lead to all systems go)!

    @prpl11butterfly:  I saw a video of one of those machines and my mind was blown.  Also - I'm blonde with two brunette parents, and my mom always talks about how much she hated those comments, too!  We also have to stay with DD until she falls asleep.

    @jennifer_louise:  I like the positive thinking - but I know it can be hard to keep it up.  Big *positive thoughts* sent your way!

    @kimmer1412:  Yay for AMAZING shoes!  I'm wishing for a pair of Rothy's!

    @marebear15:  Another *positive thoughts* to you - and hooray for hopeful feelings!!  My DD loves to "help" me with stuff, too.  She got a tiny vacuum for Christmas, and when I got home (late) last night, it was parked next to mine in the laundry room.  Adorable.

    @klmcquire:  Woo hoo for upcoming cruise!  If not TMI, which line are you using?  

    @shamrocandroll : good for understanding internet peeps.  I agree that a weekly thread would be a bit much to see.  

    Number you are trying for:  2

    Month/Cycle:  Cycle 6

    WTO/TWW:  WTO?  Ugh.....CD24 and looking like an-O.  

    Ages of other child(ren): 2.5 years

    Thoughts about this cycle:  I had to disappear for a few days.  Just feeling burned out with everything (work, home, TTGP, everything).  Back on CD 12 or so I was freaking out that I had missed O, but then temps never confirmed my *possible* almost-positive OPK. And OPK has just stayed dim, dim, dim for the rest of this cycle.  Even with vaginal temping this cycle, temps are rocky, and no pattern showing up. I'm just SO frustrated with TTGP.  

    Questions:  none, really

    Rant/Rave/Brag:  As above, I just got super burned out recently.  Doing a little better today, but still feeling like the "mental load" is way too much these days.  

    GTKY: What feature or trait does your LO have that's completely different from both you and YH?  i can't think of anything.  She's very much like us at this point (especially my DH).  

  • @shamrocandroll Yup, that question drives me bonkers. Depending on my mood I either lie and say we're not ready yet, or I evasively say, I don't know, hopefully soon. But, if the wrong person asks me on the wrong day, I will just burst into tears one of these times! I guess that will teach them not to ask nosy questions (:

    Well @klmcguire I hope you are a magical unicorn who gets KU on new years magic!! 

    @kimmer1412 I may have to look into these Rothy's everybody seems to be talking about! Sounds like they might be fancy enough for work! 

    @lillywonderland I hate the relax and it will happen response. That's so easy for you to say, Karen! (btw I don't know any Karens but I'm sorry to all of you Karens since your name now means stereotypical basic bish). But... I really hope this is the one for you! Our bodies have done this before! Pull it together, utes! 

  • Spartanrd4Spartanrd4 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 8

    @shamrocandroll Yes this happened in my bump mom group on FB- There is a TTC thread and a pregnancy thread that was going on weekly and it was starting to trigger people for it always to keep popping up all the time. So we decided to do one monthly thread for TTC and pregnancy and people can just keep adding to the comments instead of making a new one every week. I feel like its helped a lot.

    @Icking82 I am sorry you have been feeling stressed lately- totally don't blame you for disappearing, self care is important!

    @klmcguire a cruise sounds fun! I have never been on one.

    @lillywonderland my DD loves books too...I hope this continues because I love to read and want her to read some of my favorites as she gets older.

    @marebear15 Its so nice when your kid actually wants to help you with DD loves to clean up which probably won't last but I'll take it for now.

  • @holly321 So sorry about your sick family! YS's comment made me laugh a little!

    @kbrown2385 What kind of legos do you get for him? The Duplos or the Juniors/regular? We just transferred to the Juniors and they are so small, and get lost so quickly.

    @prpl11butterfly Same with my kiddo. I hate those comments. I know people are trying to be funny, but it always irks me.

    @jennifer_louise So sorry about the potty training  :# And that thinking was totally me last cycle, since Xmas time in 2013 was when DS was conceived. I'm keeping my FX for you friend!!

    @sorarose Sorry about the long cycle  :/

    @kimmer1412 That's super cool about the shoes! Never heard of Rothy's but they look cute.

    @Spartanrd4 That's sucky about YH having to travel during FW. Hoping you are able to catch it, at least for a day or two!!

    @marebear15 That's too cute about YD. I really love that age where they are super helpful in a cute way.

    @lillywonderland Love that YS is a bookworm! Foster that entirely!! I feel like too many kids hating reading and it makes me so sad. MH always gets mad when DS's class sends out the book fair packets because I always have to buy at least 5-10 books.

    @klmcguire YAY, you are going on a cruise? That sounds so fantastic.

    @shamrocandroll Keeping my FX that this is your month! And glad that she was understanding, that would definitely make me sad too.

    @lcking82 **more hugs**

    Number you are trying for:  #2

    Month/Cycle: 4/4


    Ages of other child(ren): DS is 4

    Thoughts about this cycle: hopeful... it's still too early to tell. 

    Questions: nope

    Rant/Rave/Brag: I bought some workbooks for DS to practice tracing letters and numbers. He has trouble still with holding a pencil so I also got bigger pencils and a pencil grip to help him. He got so excited when he wrote the letter correctly last night but was over writing after five minutes. I figure if we could practice at least once a night, he'll be in better shape.

    GTKY: Same as PPs, DH and I are dark-haired and DS has dark blonde hair. My hair is dyed blonde so everyone says he looks like me purely because of the similar hair color but it always cracks me up. 
    January Siggy Challenge: Pets in Snow

    TTC #1: September 2013, BFP 01/01/14, DS 09/17/14
    TTC #2: October 2018

  • lcking82 Totally not at all. We are doing Carnival, out of Mobile,AL. Its only a 4 day 3 night to Cozumel and back. We would eventually like to take the boys on a Disney Cruise or a couple of Caribbean cruises that are longer, so we are using this to gauge the tolerance and see if they love it! 

    @jennifer_louise We will see, it was good timing... I am still just Meh about it lol. My hopes aren't up.

    @Spartanrd4 They are such a blast! It is such a great way to disconnect and enjoy life! PLUS, Pizza anytime you want it! 

    @stephanie123456 ; I wish it were here today! I am ready for the sun and boat! 

    Pets in Snow - TTGP January sig challenge

  • Putting this here because I feel like it's probably the least triggering place to put it.  Putting under a TW for talk of loss, and there is mention of prior conception, pregnancy and LC

    **TW: loss, PG, LC

    I'm on CD 13 now, WTO.  This is my first cycle after my MMC, and it will be my last before I bench myself until ~April.  I was really hoping AF would come sooner than it did so I could get 2 cycles in, but it is what it is.  I haven't really gotten into my reasoning for benching myself here because honestly I'm struggling with it personally and feeling slightly selfish about it... but here goes.

    My son was born in Nov '16.  He was 6 days late and labor went smoothly, but delivery was traumatic (transverse, diagonal 99% head, vacuum assist, lots of blood loss, 3rd degree tearing, all on 2 days of no sleep).  Between that, feeding issues, his severe colic, and my PPD, I was pretty much convinced he'd be an only child for a while.  Luckily he got a lot easier after about 4 months and has been a pretty chill kid ever since.  Enough so to change my mind about having another one.  Conceiving my son was almost too easy.  He was a NTNP baby whose conception came about 6 months earlier than we had planned to really start trying in earnest (we literally had sex one in my FW).  MH is a package courier, and I basically don't see him Monday-Saturday from Thanksgiving through New Year's.  So with my son, I had him by myself 6 days/week during that timeframe while on maternity leave, which he basically screamed the entirety of, and I was dealing with PPD.  It was really bad, and I basically didn't enjoy any of my son's newborn days, which makes me really sad to think about in hindsight.

    After my MMC in November, I think the hardest thing for me to come to terms with is that my window for a spring/summer baby is gone now for 2019.  If we have success this cycle, it'll be an October baby, which honestly I'm struggling with because that will still put me in the newborn stage in Nov-Dec where I'll be solo with 2 kids instead of just 1.  If it doesn't happen this month, I just can't bring myself to do Nov or Dec again.  MH is having a hard time with that because he thinks it's wasted time we should be trying, but he has said he respects my point of view because I'll be the one left on my own with 2 kids while he works.  I do still feel guilty about it sometimes, though.

    I'm mostly just venting this because I feel guilty and selfish for it sometimes.  Even though I know it's what I need to do for my own mental health, as well as the well being of my child(ren).  The whole "put on your own oxygen before helping others" concept.

    So, there it is, I guess.  Thanks  to anyone who listened.  

    Pets in Snow - TTGP January Siggy Challenge **TW in Siggy**


    Me: 33 | H: 38
    DS: Nov 2016
    BFP: 10/7/18
    MMC: 11/16/18
  • @shamrocandroll I think your decision is justified and I think that if you truly feel it's what is best for your mental health, then that is what you need to do. I see YHs point of wasting time. I truly do. But I know how hard those guys are run over the holiday season (really, our work courier was looking much more haggard then usual and my BFF also dated a FedEx guy over a holiday season) and I cannot imagine how hard that would be, especially with an infant. But, your mental health is so much more important in those early months because it's much harder to maintain.
  • @shamrocandroll You do what YOU need to do since you’ll be the one shouldering the brunt of work for the tiny person. Be as selfish as you need to be. It’s not actually truly being selfish because as Mothers we are inherently not selfish since we think of our children first and foremost in literally every aspect of our lives. I’ll only add this: Do you have family in the area that could possibly stay with you while YH works the busy season should you get KU now? That would help ease the burden of newborn phase a bit while YH works. 

    Also, I hope “confessing” this has lightened your heart a little. ❤️

    DS: 05.2017

    #2 EDD: 09.2019

  • @shamrocandroll - I totally understand not wanting to put yourself in that situation again! Plus having the dark, winter months to keep you indoors. In the grand scheme of things, it's only 2 months of being benched and that's not terribly long. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! You have to do what is best for your mental health, because if you aren't in the right place then you can't be the best mother to your kids that you want to be.
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker

  • @shamrocandroll your feelings are justified and I know mom guilt is real but having 2 solo is terrifying, no less over the holidays!! Always know this a safe space here and we are here to listen ♥️
  • Thank you, ladies.  It does feel better to have vented that.

    @lillywonderland No, I don't have family nearby.  That's part of what made it so hard last time, so I just can't imagine going through it again with a toddler in addition to a newborn.  It's also part of the reason I'm having SUCH a hard time with the fact that my window for a 2019 spring/summer baby has passed.  My mom works in a school and gets summers off, so I would have had her around to help so much more if my June baby had been viable.  :( 
    Pets in Snow - TTGP January Siggy Challenge **TW in Siggy**


    Me: 33 | H: 38
    DS: Nov 2016
    BFP: 10/7/18
    MMC: 11/16/18
  • @shamrocandroll ; There is absolutely no guilt that you need to have. I second everything that @lillywonderland said. Take care of yourself, girl! 

    Pets in Snow - TTGP January sig challenge

  • @stephanie123456 we got him the regular legos. The playgroup we go to has them and he had no issues with those, so we decided to go ahead and get them. 

    @shamrocandroll I don’t think you need to feel selfish at all and your reasoning is completely understandable. Loss is traumatic and you do what you need to heal. 
  • @kbrown2385 The thing is it's not really about feeling the need to heal.  That's a small part of it, but it's more about just not being able to survive the newborn days in that time period again.  One of those "know yourself" things and I just can't do it again.
    Pets in Snow - TTGP January Siggy Challenge **TW in Siggy**


    Me: 33 | H: 38
    DS: Nov 2016
    BFP: 10/7/18
    MMC: 11/16/18
  • @shamrocandroll thanks for sharing your story here! It's super important to remember what a toll it is to go through labor, delivery, postpartum recovery, having a Newborn, etc. It's too easy to get lost in "I wanna get pregnant now", but you're so right and wise and justified in benching yourself if you need to! I sometimes forget how traumatic labor and recovery was. (Crying in the shower was the norm for me for many months). Obviously it's worth it in the end, but it's hard to get there. Don't feel guilty for considering your own very real needs!

    @emeraldcity603 Yay for sleeps!! Crazy how big of a difference that makes. 

  • @jennifer_louise Thank you for saying that. It's so easy to get lost in that even I forget what it was like sometimes! 
    Pets in Snow - TTGP January Siggy Challenge **TW in Siggy**


    Me: 33 | H: 38
    DS: Nov 2016
    BFP: 10/7/18
    MMC: 11/16/18
  • @lcking82 I'm really sorry that it's been a rough go recently. Definitely step away from whatever you can periodically to try to keep things in balance/perspective.  The recent possible an-O sounds really frustrating, I'm sorry. I'm praying for you right now.

    @shamrocandroll As weird as this sounds, thank you for sharing your struggle.  These are the kinds of things women don't talk about but we should.  I'm sorry it was so hard with your son, & can empathize with your situation a lot. Your decision to self-bench if needed after this cycle sounds very healthy & reasonable. Like @lillywonderland mentioned, it sounds like you need family or friends to help if you do attempt it again during your husband's busy season.  Is there any money to hire a temporary nanny or night nurse? Or can you join mom groups now that might help support you when baby is new?  The newborn phase is the most boring, tedious, and lonely in my opinion (When I had my first child my mom stayed with me for two weeks straight & waited on me hand & foot.  Years later, when I had my second child, my mom had passed away, my husband was far away working for months on end, and my siblings had their own families to tend to. I was up all night with a hungry fussy baby who had undiagnosed lip/tongue ties. There was a stretch of 10 days where no one came to visit me. It was winter. It was horrible. Like you, it is a part of the reason I'm not embracing a fall/winter possibility.  Also, *TW*
    We were halfway through pregnancy, looking forward to having our much-anticipated second baby together this coming March when we lost her at the end of Oct 2018. I was attached to the idea of a spring baby, & then thought I'd have an August/summer baby. Now I find myself praying for a fall/winter babe, even though I remember how tough the last one was...I have to have more support this time if it's going to be better)
  • keikilovekeikilove member
    100 Comments First Answer Photogenic Name Dropper
    edited January 9
    Number you are trying for: 2nd w/DH (3rd of my own)

    Month/Cycle: *TW: Loss*
    8th month of actively planning to have another, only 4th cycle due to recent late loss in Oct


    Ages of other child(ren): 3 years (and an over-18)

    Thoughts about this cycle: So hopeful! But the closer it gets to test day, the more nervous & somewhat pessimistic I'm becoming


    Rant/Rave/Brag: Rant: Despite my best efforts with BD timing, taking all these fertility supplements, eating right, working out, & every effort to think positively, it's getting closer to *TW: Loss* 
    my EDD of our recent loss and I'm starting to feel super bummed (again) about how close we were/how far away another baby seems to be right now.  
    If this cycle isn't successful we are likely going full-force down the IF path due to age, and that's a whole other mental challenge I haven't fully embraced yet, even though we've begun the preliminary steps. End rant!

    GTKY: What feature or trait does your LO have that's completely different from both you and YH? My older child looks exactly like her dad but has my body & personality, my younger child looks exactly like me/has my personality but has her dad's best body attributes (strong legs, cute butt) :-D
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