TTCAL w/o 12/31 — The Bump
Trying to Get Pregnant

TTCAL w/o 12/31

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.:

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY? In trying to remember the good of 2018, what are three little things that brought you joy this year? 

Me: 29 │ DH: 34 
TTC #1 since 12/16
MMC dx @ 11w 6/18

Re: TTCAL w/o 12/31

  • Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 2 CP's and 3 MMC's.

    Status: Benched.

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I realized yesterday that i turn 38 in a month. Its hitting me harder than I expected. I feel like time is running out to conceive this baby without IVF. I know people my age get pregnant all the time, but with 5 losses, I'm starting to lose faith.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Saline sono once CD1 gets here.

    GTKY? In trying to remember the good of 2018, what are three little things that brought you joy this year?  Hmmm, this is surprisingly a lot harder than I thought it would be... 1) vacation and time with MH; 2) running/hiking; and 3) my awesome coworkers.

  • Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 1 MMC

    Status: WTO/TWW... not totally sure. I think I ovulated today fx. 

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm feeling a little better this week. I think it helps to feel like you are moving forward a bit. We did the HCG trigger shot on Saturday so I'm feeling hopeful.  

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? No. I did have a mid-cycle ultrasound on Saturday that showed two big hemorrhagic cysts. We still moved forward with this cycle, but if they don't improve I'll likely take next month off. 

    GTKY? In trying to remember the good of 2018, what are three little things that brought you joy this year? 1) Discovering poetry. I had never really read it before, but I've really enjoyed it the last few months. 2) Make-up. 3) Sashimi. Never thought I'd like plain raw fish, but it is so good!


    @ruby696 ; I wish I had some advice or insightful comments. Only that I'm sorry things haven't been easier for you. It doesn't make sense why some have such tough roads. Big hugs <3

    Me: 29 │ DH: 34 
    TTC #1 since 12/16
    MMC dx @ 11w 6/18

    ruby696
  • @kgg2241 FX for you this cycle! Also, I want to add makeup to my list of things that bring me joy! I'm a bit of a junkie.
  • First off HAPPY NEW YEAR to my sisters here. Secondly, sorry I’ve been such a shitty sister the past few months. I’m dealing with my own issues TTC and not TTC related. I’ve been reading and thinking about you all just struggling to post and keep up.

    @ruby696 I’m also struggling with the age thing. I’ll be 35 in March and officially higher risk maternal age, and I’m high risk already if I ever get pregnant.

    AFM

    Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.:

    Status: TWW

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

    The holidays have been incredibly difficult for me. Between Christmas Eve marking the day I’m sure my last baby stopped, a just struggling with it being a year since I’ve been able to get pregnant 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

    GTKY? In trying to remember the good of 2018, what are three little things that brought you joy this year? 1. Family 2. Reconciliation 3. My students 

    Me: 34 DH: 46
    December Sig: Awkward Family Phone

    DSS: 19

    DSD: 16

    DS: 3(Nov'14)

    MMC:8/17

    MC: 1/18

    ruby696jrm_14TJtheGoatholly321
  • @kindbytealikat I'm sorry you've been having a hard time. We're here as much or as little as you need us. Hugs to you.  <3
  • @kindbytealikat We are here when you need us! Don't feel pressure to participate if you aren't feeling up to it. You are always welcome. I'm so sorry for the tough milestone. Something about them being over the holidays just adds salt to the wound too. 

    Me: 29 │ DH: 34 
    TTC #1 since 12/16
    MMC dx @ 11w 6/18

  • @ruby696 ; I'm with you on the difficulty finding joy. Hopefully AF speeds in soon...

    @kgg2241 fx for you

    @kindbytealik I'm sorry it's been so difficult. Lots of hugs and plenty of forgiveness for your absence.

    Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 3 losses this year, MMCx2 & CP

    Status: benched 

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Had lunch with BFF for lunch yesterday and it was almost 3hrs of catching up. She is amazing and while she doesnt have any advice, shes a great listener. It also warmed my heart to know that her SO frequently asks her how I'm doing with all of this. I'm really happy shes found him. I'm feeling okay emotionally. I have sad moments but they are fewer. I talked to DH about my tattoo idea and hes not a fan (he doesnt care for them and says I'm "pushing it" with 2 plus he's not thrilled about the location for professional reasons) but it seems like he understands the importance to me and isn't going to fight me too hard.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? sono hsg Thur

    GTKY? In trying to remember the good of 2018, what are three little things that brought you joy this year? Honestly it's not much. I'll say Yoga, my cat, and my family

    ruby696
  • @prpl11butterfly I’m glad you were able to catch up with your friend. Sometimes it’s nice to have someone who is just going to listen and not try to give advice. Good luck on Thursday! 

    @kindbytealikat I’m sorry you have been struggling so much. We are here whenever and however you need it  <3.

    @kgg2241 good luck this cycle! 

    @ruby696 hope your sono happens soon! 


    Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 5 losses 12/13, 1/17, 11/17, 4/18, 9/18

    Status: benched pending testing 

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Just really enjoying the holidays and spending time with family and friends. Looking forward to a new beginning and a better, more positive year ahead. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Wfaf to schedule my saline ultrasound and results from karyotype of both dh and myself. Waiting on karyotypes for both dh and myself, wfaf to schedule a saline sono in January. Waiting, waiting, waiting. 

    GTKY? In trying to remember the good of 2018, what are three little things that brought you joy this year?  Being benched, carbs, moving to dh’s new duty station.

    kgg2241holly321
  • @ruby696 FX AF gets here soon so you can do your testing! 

    @kgg2241 FX for you this cycle! 

    @kindbytealikat I'm so sorry this year has been tough. Sending you love. 

    @prpl11butterfly hoping for good results from your sono. And happy to hear you had a good lunch with your friend! Those are the best. 

    Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: MMC in Oct and CP this month

    Status: WTO

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Honestly happy for the holidays to be just about over. It was a rough one. We made the most of it, but it was so draining at the same time. I am also dreading taking down all the decorations. It's going to take hours. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Putting this in a spoiler: 

    I had a blood draw this morning to check my HCG levels from the CP. All of my home tests are progressively getting darker and I am still having a lot of pregnancy symptoms, so it'll be good to know the results from this. I'm mentally prepared for it to be low, but emotionally I know I will still be a wreck when they tell me. Part of me can't help but be hopeful for it to have just been random heavy bleeding for three days. Oh how naive I am...

    GTKY? In trying to remember the good of 2018, what are three little things that brought you joy this year? 1) Ocean's 8 2) My dog 3) My co-workers

    *TW*
    Me: 31 │ DH: 34 
    Married 8/16/13
    BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
    BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
    BFP# 3 EDD 9/5/19 Please stick little one!!


    kgg2241
  • @zuuls_mom FX so hard for you...

    @prpl11butterfly I was going to include my dog as one of my joys but that B just pulled as many meyer lemons off my tree as she could. So. Much. Rage.

    @kbrown2385 I'm glad you enjoyed the holidays and your feeling positive. Good mental health is so important. 
    zuuls_mom
  • @ruby696 oh my goodness! Does she eat them or just like to destroy the tree? My cat is pretty much top B in out house. You literally do not see her unless she wants you. But she always knows when I need to be needed 😻
  • @prpl11butterfly I’m glad you were able to lunch with a friend like that. I have a few really good friends that are good at just listening but unfortunately connecting up with them is tough and I hide things via phone. I hope DH gets more on board with the tattoo idea.
    @kbrown2385 ugh the waiting game, so many pros and cons.
    @zuuls_mom I hope you get answers soon
    Me: 34 DH: 46
    December Sig: Awkward Family Phone

    DSS: 19

    DSD: 16

    DS: 3(Nov'14)

    MMC:8/17

    MC: 1/18

    zuuls_mom
  • ruby696ruby696 member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited December 2018
    I love cats. Especially snooty, disgruntled cats. My dog left the lemons all over the lawn. And she chewed off a bunch of the new growth. I planted that tree four years ago and this is the first year its produced anything (also, the first year I had it hooked up to the sprinkler system - who knew?!) She also eats the figs off the tree. Good thing she's cute. Picture in spoiler. 

    ETA: spelling


    brookert615TJtheGoat
  • @ruby696 I am so envious that you can grow your own lemons.  I also hear you on the age frustration.  I keep telling myself that I an healthy and in good shape, so there's nothing to worry about, but unfortunately google keeps sending me to all the scary, negative info about ttc over 35. 

    @prpl11butterfly that's wonderful that your friend is so supportive.  Sometimes a good long talk with your bestie works wonders. 

    @zuuls_mom I can imagine how frustrated and confused you are right now.  I really really hope that you can get some answers. 

    @kindbytealikat I am sorry you are struggling.  Life really has a way of kicking us around sometimes. Sending you hugs. 

    @kgg2241 fx for O! Good luck!

    @kbrown2385 I hope that you get your test results back soon. 

    Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: CP in December at 5 weeks, 1 day 

    Status: WTO but benched until next cycle

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

    I am starting to feel more like myself. I think being on Christmas break has helped me to process everything from the last 2 weeks.  I am struggling with just turning 37 and only starting my TTC journey in July.  I wish DH and I hadn't waited so long to figure out what we wanted as far as kids goes.  It also took me a really long time to get to a place where I thought I could be a good mom, despite my mental health struggles with depression and anxiety.  I know I can't turn back the clock and can only move forward. I just need to let go of the regret. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results?No testing.  If we experience a second loss, I will push for it. 

    GTKY? In trying to remember the good of 2018, what are three little things that brought you joy this year? 1. DH and I have gotten a lot closer 2. Theater 3. My students who are noisy, but hilarious. 

    Married: Spring 2009
    TTC #1: July 2018
    *TW*
    BFP 12/7/18, EDD 8/20/19
    CP 12/17/18 @ 5 weeks, 1 day

    December Signature Challenge: Awkward Family Photos




    kgg2241zuuls_mom
  • Introduce yourself/what you think is important, such as number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 2 CP, 1 BO

    Status: WTO I guess, not quite certain yet.

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I am welcoming 2019 with open arms, a semi clear mind and ready to have a better year! 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? On NYE I had bloodwork done and I am finally negative for HCG. So it only took 7 weeks but I am finally back to 0. I have my yearly next week and have lots of questions about why this is potentially happening repeatedly. 

    GTKY? In trying to remember the good of 2018, what are three little things that brought you joy this year? I am very proud of myself for setting a foal and sticking to it in 2018! In my head its so easy to make lofty goals and then never see them through.

    Pets in Snow - TTGP January sig challenge


    ballofmeatholly321
  • @ruby696 That is the sweetest biby baby!! <3 She is precious.

    Pets in Snow - TTGP January sig challenge


    ruby696
  • zuuls_momzuuls_mom member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 4
    TW: BFPs and talk of betas:

    Not sure where to put this, but I am really struggling. I was pretty sure I had a CP on Christmas, but the bleeding just stopped after not even three full days and I had no cramping. I decided to use up the rest of my FRERs expecting it to eventually go to a BFN, but the line just kept getting darker. No more bleeding except for the (sorry, TMI) occasional brown discharge and light cramping. I had a beta done on Monday and my HCG was only 48 and my progesterone was only 1.5 (yikes). I'm going back again on Monday for another beta and I am preparing myself for the worst. Even if my HCG goes up, my progesterone is so low, there's no way anything can continue in a healthy manner. I don't know if any of you have any advice or similar experience, so this is really just me venting. I apologize in advance if this is not the right place for this and hope I don't upset anyone.


    *TW*
    Me: 31 │ DH: 34 
    Married 8/16/13
    BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
    BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
    BFP# 3 EDD 9/5/19 Please stick little one!!


    suzycupcake
  • @zuuls_mom I'm so sorry you're going through this. The waiting is so hard and just prolonges the pain. I don't have any advice, but I wanted you to know you're not alone and that we're here for you. So much love to you.  <3
    zuuls_mom
  • @zuuls_mom I am so so sorry you have to go through this. I haven't had a similar experience, but I am sure the unknown and waiting is so hard. I keep trying to think of helpful advice, like staying of Google, but I'm realizing that none of that really matters. Just know that we're thinking of you and hoping for the best outcome.  <3  

    Also, for what it is worth, I'm okay that you posted that here. You might want to edit to put it in a spoiler with TW just to be safe though.

    Me: 29 │ DH: 34 
    TTC #1 since 12/16
    MMC dx @ 11w 6/18

    zuuls_mom
  • Ah, I definitely should have done a spoiler! I've edited :) Thank you @kgg2241
    *TW*
    Me: 31 │ DH: 34 
    Married 8/16/13
    BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
    BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
    BFP# 3 EDD 9/5/19 Please stick little one!!


  • @zuuls_mom Ugh, I'm so sorry.  As if this whole process isn't hard enough.  I wish I could say something to make it better.  Hugs, friend.  Also, I think this is the best place to put this.  <3 
    Pets in Snow - TTGP January Siggy Challenge **TW in Siggy**


    **TW**

    Me: 33 | H: 38
    DS: Nov 2016
    BFP: 10/7/18
    MMC: 11/16/18
    ruby696zuuls_mom
  • @zuuls_mom I'm sorry this has happened. I'm hoping for positive results but understand your feelings. I think the hardest part will be waiting for confirmation, it was for me anyway. I'd google insane stories that would give me hope, then I'd snap back to reality and be mad at myself for even considering a positive outcome. Just don't forget to take care of yourself during this process. Sending big hugs. 

    Me 30 DH 31
    MC 1/4/18 @ 21 weeks 
    CP 5/6/18 @ 5.5 weeks
    MC 6/22/18 @ 6.5 weeks


    zuuls_momruby696
  • @zuuls_mom, I am so sorry that you are going through all this.  Please know that we're all here for you. 💜
    Married: Spring 2009
    TTC #1: July 2018
    *TW*
    BFP 12/7/18, EDD 8/20/19
    CP 12/17/18 @ 5 weeks, 1 day

    December Signature Challenge: Awkward Family Photos




    zuuls_mom
  • @nomangos23 that's exactly it! I went down the BC and WTE rabbit holes. It helped for like 2 seconds. And then I'd get super upset again because the likelihood of those success stories happening are slim. 
    *TW*
    Me: 31 │ DH: 34 
    Married 8/16/13
    BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
    BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
    BFP# 3 EDD 9/5/19 Please stick little one!!


  • @zuuls_mom I’m so sorry you are having to go through this. The waiting and unknown is the worst.
    zuuls_mom
  • @zuuls_mom hopefully this will have a good outcome. Did they not put you on a progesterone supplement since it was so low? 
    suzycupcakezuuls_mom
  • Hoping for the best outcome @zuuls_mom . Limbo is aweful.
    zuuls_mom
  • I’m so sorry @zuuls_mom, the waiting is aweful 
    Me: 34 DH: 46
    December Sig: Awkward Family Phone

    DSS: 19

    DSD: 16

    DS: 3(Nov'14)

    MMC:8/17

    MC: 1/18

    zuuls_mom
  • @emeraldcity603 no, they didn’t. My OB is pretty much convinced this is still a CP. If my levels increase then I’m sure they will. If he doesn’t bring it up, I sure will. 
    *TW*
    Me: 31 │ DH: 34 
    Married 8/16/13
    BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
    BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
    BFP# 3 EDD 9/5/19 Please stick little one!!


    emeraldcity603
  • @zuuls_mom if this pregnancy does end in a CP, I would suggest talking about supplementing during the TWW. I am in another group and many of the women who have low progesterone take a supplement before their BFP and continue until they hit the 2nd trimester. 

    I will be praying this all has a good outcome for you. I know the uncertainty is hard to deal with. 
    zuuls_mom
  • It is my understanding that if your progesterone is already low, they won’t give it to you, since it is generally too late.  And that now you are only given progesterone before the pregnancy starts.  Mine was low with my last loss, it had dropped significantly during the TwW and both obgyns I saw didn’t think there was any point to giving me supplemental progesterone.

    @zuuls_mom, I am sorry that you are in limbo, I know how frustrating and terrible that can be.  When I was on my phone with my obgyn, and was telling him I was bleeding, he told me my HCG was only 7 and my first thought was to be thankful there was no waiting/guessing game this time.


    Me: 30 DH:32

    DD 3/11  

    MMC 2/12

    DS 1/13

    TTC #3 since 2/17.  Malignant molar missed miscarriage 8/22/17

    zuuls_mom
  • @holly321 thanks for the insight on the progesterone. I have never had to take it so I'm just going off of what I have seen with others. 
  • Thanks, ladies. @holly321 yeah, I had a feeling it was going to be too late. I don’t want to give up, but I need to be realistic. I appreciate the info  <3
    *TW*
    Me: 31 │ DH: 34 
    Married 8/16/13
    BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
    BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
    BFP# 3 EDD 9/5/19 Please stick little one!!


    holly321
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards