It’s hard to be around people again! Any advice? — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

It’s hard to be around people again! Any advice?

Just had my miscarriage this month and  I’m feeling very anxious about going back to work and even seeing my friends and family again. Does anyone have any advice?

Re: It’s hard to be around people again! Any advice?

  • It was hard for me to return to work after my MCs. After the first one, I sat in my office with the door closed for days because I mainly just cried.   I found though the more I talked about it the easier it got.   Hopefully you will find a way that works for you.   
  • Thank you I went back to work today and I cried most of the day but I have to keep trying.
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  • That’s normal @sunflower1701.   It does get easier with time but you may also want to consider grief counseling.  That can be helpful.  My hospital offers a memorial service for those suffering from child loss and miscarriage.  I found that beneficial for me.  
  • I am going through my third miscarriage right now and can relate a lot to this.  (First miscarriage was my first pregnancy, then miscarried my sixth pregnancy and now my seventh).  I don't want to be around anyone.  We have skipped every single activity and event so far this week.  I missed my son's first soccer game of the season, my daughter's dance class, my own dance class which usually helps me stay sane in the hard times, and our co-op classes.  I've cancelled all playdates and haven't been answering my phone.  I just want to be alone.
  • I am feeling this now too. I just had my 3rd miscarriage and I will be returning to work Monday... I am not looking forward to it at all. :(
  • We experienced our first MC last September and after spending a week at home with my DH, I ventured back into the world. For my first day at work, I prepped a couple of things beforehand. 

    1. We texted everyone who knew about the pregnancy that we were no longer pregnant and, as much as we appreciated the prayers, would let them know when we were ready to talk. 

    2. Just like after a break up, my DH put away all the things we bought for our LO so they wouldn’t be trigger warnings around the house. He waited until I was ready, and then did so. 

    3. Finally, for me, I fully experienced my pregnancy with a playlist of songs that I would sing to our LO. I deleted those songs from my music library and prepped a playlist that was calm and soothing. 

    With all that, I made it. Yes, I still had moments when I cried but I felt like I was on a much better place and it felt good to be productive and working towards healing. After some time, I started adding some of those songs back and one in particular actually became very cathartic, as if my baby was singing to me. Those were happy tears. I wish you the best. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions to your coworkers, and know that it’s okay to not be okay. 
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