S/O's Cats — The Bump
2nd Trimester

S/O's Cats

I have a huge issue. When I came into the relationship, my S/O told me that he had several cats that were dumped on him by his ex-wife. He cares about the cats and admits that several (there are 5) need to be rehomed, but he won't do it unless he knows they're good homes-- that part I completely respect. The issue to me is that the two that he wants to rehome aren't the problem cats-- it's his original cats that are causing my home to be a completely unsanitary wasteland. 

His oldest cat has behavioral issues and medical issues and, because of this, he pees (yes, PEES) all over our kitchen counters, stove, and everything he can find. I've tried everything. We have scat-mats (mats that shock) on the counters, I've purchased multiple new litter boxes (including self scooping so there is never a place without a clean box), and I've been trying to train the cat to not go near the counters. 

None of it is working. Every time I put my hand on the counter or go to clean or do anything else, it's saturated in cat urine. Every. Damn. Time. And as you all know, we of the preggy-variety can't clean, touch, or handle cat urine or feces because of toxoplasmosis. 

That's just one of the problem cats. There are two more. One particularly loves to pee in the bathroom or on any cloth surface in the house, and another loves to pop a squat and crap in front of our bedroom door when we sleep at night. 

I can't do this anymore. It seemed to be getting better, but now it's back full force plus more and I can't just idly sit by because I have to take my baby into consideration. I don't want to risk the cats peeing on my baby's things or on the bottles or me having to throw away a whole slew of items because they're compromised from urine or feces. 

How do I go about talking to my S/O about rehoming his cats? He loves these three in particular and they have been around for over 12 years. One of the problem cats belongs to his teenage daughter, which add another dimension of hell to this scenario.

Thank you for any help in advance, and thank you for the support. I'm at my wit's end and I don't see any other way to do this except to tell him to rehome older, sickly cats with bad habits--- which we all know means they will be put down because rarely anyone wants to adopt older problem cats. 

Re: S/O's Cats

  • Ok for starters...unless these cats were new to you when you were already pregnant, the risk of toxoplasmosis is almost zero.  If they are indoor only cats, new to you or not, the risk is also about zero.

    Toxoplasmosis is passed to cats when they eat infected raw meat, so since indoor cats rarely have access to mice, etc and instead eat kibble and store bought wet foods, there is almost no opportunity for them to get infected.  If these are outdoor cats with access to mice and other small animals, they probably do have toxoplasmosis and likely got it when they were young as it is pretty common.

    Once a cat is infected, it is in all of the cat's STOOL, but not urine.  So urine can't pass it to you.  And if you had been scooping/cleaning cat poop prior to getting pregnant, you are incredibly likely to also already have toxoplasmosis.  This is actually good news, because it is ONLY a threat to the fetus if you get infected FOR THE FIRST TIME WHILE YOU ARE ALREADY PREGNANT.  If you already had it when you got pregnant, there is no risk to the fetus at all.

    As much as I wish it was as risky as everyone thinks, because I would have loved to avoid litter box duty while pregnant, in a vast majority of cases there is no risk in a pregnant woman dealing with her own cats.

    Now all that said, I agree that your current situation is unlivable, pregnant or not.  You can't bring a baby to live in a house that reeks of cat urine all the time.  One of my cats is very particular about litter box cleanliness and will poop on the floor occasionally if the box isn't cleaned to his liking (specifically if the other cat has pooped in it and we haven't cleaned it out yet) but that is a rare occurrence.  Maybe once a month?  Probably less.  My cats have never in their lives peed outside of the box.  You should bring them to the vet to be checked for illness if you haven't already, and ask for advice on how to correct the issues.  I agree that it is unlikely that you'll find someone to take in cats who regularly pee everywhere.  It is probably a health issue, especially since they are elderly.  Does your S/O's daughter live with you full time?  If not, can she take her cat to live with her mother at least?  In the meantime, if your S/O won't get rid of the others or correct the issues, I suggest you start looking for places for you and your baby to live without him, in the event that that becomes necessary.
    Me: 36 DH: 36
    Married 5-31-14
    DD1 born 6-21-15
    DD2 born 6-11-17
    BFP#3 12-21-17 - EDD 8/29/18
  • I agree 100%% ☝️☝️

  • kiki75kiki75 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer

    Your best bet to get through to him is to work through the vet. It could health but it could also be behavioral and a sign that perhaps they would be happier elsewhere. My sister’s cat started mittering when she was pregnant with their second. Went to a new home that was a better match and the behavior stopped. 

    Pregnant or not, diseases or not, that is foul. Do not put up with it. Cat piss is so stinky and wretched. Blech.
    Me: 34 DH: 38
    Married: June 2011
    TTC since Feb 2016
    BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 
    BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
    BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
  • **lurking**

    Our cat was having issues urinating outside of his litter box, usually on my bed. We had him checked out and after treating multiple urinary tract infections, adding an extra litter box and putting him on a special food for bladder issues, he hasn't done it in forever. I would recommend full physicals for each cat he wants to keep to see if it's a treatable medical issue. If it's behavioral, the vet may be able to give you tips about changing the bad behavior. 
    I would do this right away because stress is a major cause of these kind of issues in cats and it's only going to be heightened when a newborn enters the picture. 
    Good luck. I hope you can get some resolution. 
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