WWYD: Accidental Gender Reveal

emeraldisle17

DH and I were fully team green, and this is our first pregnancy. We had our anatomy scan this morning and the technician made a big oops towards the end - she did a switch screen and for a split second had an info screen up where my eyes caught the gender spelled out in plain sight -- FEMALE.  I immediately looked over at DH who was looking down at his phone, deep in work emails. The tech didn't miss a beat and immediately switched back over to the correct screen. Not wanting to call any attention to what I saw (to alert DH or to make the tech feel bad) I let it go....but OMG we're having a baby GIRL!!!  

But now what?! My DH was the one in the beginning who REALLY didn't want to find out.  I'm a little disappointed we won't have that moment at the birth where we find out together, but can't say I'm too upset because it just confirmed what I intuitively felt I was having all along!  What would you guys do?!  Should I tell him that I know? I know when I tell him that I know, he'll want to know too so we can be on the same page, but I also know how much he wanted for it to be a surprise.  I feel like I'm a good secret keeper and can keep it until the end, but even after the birth -- do I tell him that I knew all along or do I take this to my grave?!  We tell each other everything and he's been to every appointment so I feel guilty for having the secret.  But this is also the first grandchild for both of our parents, I have 3 brothers (no sisters) and DH is one of 3 boys, so this will LITERALLY be the first girl in the family since me in 1987..!!  I feel like that will be exciting for everyone involved so kind of want to keep this to myself...ahh i don't know what to do!

But at least I get to get it off my chest here -- I know you guys will keep my secret  

kaitykins

That’s interesting. I think I would let him know you Saw the a word that probably pertains to the gender of baby on accident and ask what he prefers you do. 

gollygeeitsamy

I’m with @kbirchtree on this. I’d just be honest to your husband, tell him what happened, and decide from there together. 

Btw I know how excited you are about a girl, my boy is the first on my side since 1981! 

mrstmoose

Ditto what @kbirchtree said. It's not worth keeping the secret from him and if you tell him you know, then he can decide if he wants to know or stay in the dark.

ETA: It will be hard to keep this secret because now you will subconsciously be drawn to "girly" clothes and ideas for the nursery. DH will read into everything you register for and say because of it as well. Just my two cents.

rennie1108

Interesting! I had my anatomy scan yesterday, and the tech didn't even put the sex in the report because she didn't want anyone to slip up. I'm with the others - I like to be up front about it, even if that means "spoiling" the surprise for him. I wouldn't like keeping it to myself, especially if you're really open with each other. That kinda stinks, though!

thatbaintforbetty

Agree with @kbirchtree i would tell him you saw and ask what he wants to do about it. You could always pull a Gilmore Girls. Sookie knew but her husband Jackson didn't want to know.

I also agree with @mrstmoose that now that you know it will be hard to shy away from some girly things instinctively, possible yes but difficult.

emeraldisle17

@rennie1108 our tech didn't list it on the report that went to the doc either, but I saw it up on screen for a split second so before she would have compiled the final report 

I guess there's a chance it could have been MY gender up on screen, like patient details?? Though I'm not sure how many males are getting second trimester ultrasounds, so doubtful. I agree with everyone though, and think it will be best to let him know I know 'something' and then he can decide...I'll tell him to take some time to think about it.  My gut says he's gonna want to know - will keep you posted!  

sheknows6

This may sound silly but are absolutely sure that it wasn't your gender you saw on the screen? All my ultrasounds have listed my name, date of birth, gender, the date of the scan, etc....

But either way I agree you should tell your husband and go from there. Congratulations! 

kristenhk

Ahh that's a tough one.  I think if it were me I'd do as some of the others have suggested and tell him I saw the screen.  That way it's totally up to him if you tell him or not.  Either way, congratulations!!  

s_montgomery

I would tell him that I saw it on the screen and it was the tech's error but I would give him the option to know or not. And openly discuss the implications of me knowing and him not knowing, and how it might change things for us if we both knew. Mistakes can't be taken back; what's done is done now.
I think it is wonderful of you to be forgiving towards the technician.

s_montgomery

I'm sorry this happened to you.

rennie1108

emeraldisle87 said:

@rennie1108 our tech didn't list it on the report that went to the doc either, but I saw it up on screen for a split second so before she would have compiled the final report 

I guess there's a chance it could have been MY gender up on screen, like patient details?? Though I'm not sure how many males are getting second trimester ultrasounds, so doubtful. I agree with everyone though, and think it will be best to let him know I know 'something' and then he can decide...I'll tell him to take some time to think about it.  My gut says he's gonna want to know - will keep you posted!  

Omg I didn't even think of that! I guess I have no clue. I didnt notice a gender assignment on my screen but I'm also not very observant! This may sound silly, but I would probably call radiology and ask them what they put up on the screen. If it is the babys sex, well, it's something you already know so it wouldn't ruin anything. But if they say it was yours, well then you still dont know the sex!

emeraldisle17

@mighty_montgomery exactly, what's done is done!  It's hard to be mad when the scan went so well, baby is looking normal and on track so trying to keep things in perspective. Now I just wish I had found out last week so I could've hit up those cyber Monday deals on all things pink...

himolly88

I would want to tell DH to be on the same page and also would not be convinced it was baby’s sex you saw (though probably was just would leave me wondering). Confirm with the dr so you don’t prep for a girl and surprise... it’s a boy!
Congrats, we also just found out it’s a girl! 

snowhite12

So on my ultrasounds it does say "F" for female and the tech told me that is for me, maybe some US places spell out female instead of abbreviate it like mine does??

mermaidca

I used to work in an ultrasound clinic.  I am willing to bet that was your information.  For every exam they have all the patient information (name, age, birthdate, sex) so even though a man wouldn't have a pregnancy scan or a woman would have a scrotal scan all the patient info is up there so they always know they have the correct patient.  The baby's sex is technically not part of the anatomy scan so there is no reason, especially if you said you didn't want to know, that the tech would make note of it.

That being said, it's totally possible.  And I agree with others, I would tell DH what you saw and you could confirm it later on.

jayhawkmom4

I wouldn't run out and buy pink stuff yet! I would hate to find out that you misread something and be disappointed. 

emeraldisle17

@mermaidca Wow -- thanks for that info!  Now I feel really silly....and almost in a worse position like now I NEED to call and confirm what the gender is. I can't go the next 4 months potentially thinking one thing -- wouldn't that be a crazy surprise (and story) if it ends up being a boy..even more so if I go a bit early and he comes on April fools!
My gender isn't on the actual scan photos, just my name, the date, and the clinic info.  So now I'm not sure what screen she switched to but I know it was only for a split second and she sure moved off of it quickly.

@jayhawkmom4 Agree, will definitely be holding off on buying anything pink until we confirm for sure -- if that is what we end up doing.  DH is now traveling for work so still haven't had the chance to ask him what he wants to do. 

kosmo86

I just left my scan. She did tell us the sex but she did. It add it to anything. She did switch to a screen that had all of the baby measurement but it also has my stats too!