TTCAL w/o 11/26 — The Bump
Trying to Get Pregnant

TTCAL w/o 11/26

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY? Your boss surprises you with $500 for Christmas. What are you going to splurge on? 

Re: TTCAL w/o 11/26

  • @kgg2241 the holidays are always going to be harder on us. I tried not to think a trip out the "should haves" but it didnt work out well.

    @kbrown2385 hopefully the week goes by quickly and your appt goes well. I'm a week after you for mine and feel the same way!
    jrm_14
  • @prpl11butterfly I’m glad your ob is open to testing for you. Hoping we both have good appts and get some answers. That tattoo sounds beautiful. I love the meaning behind it. 
    prpl11butterflyjrm_14
  • kgg2241kgg2241 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited November 27
    @kbrown2385 Good luck at your appointment next week. It is definitely a mix of emotions. It's nice to feel like you are moving forward, but hard to accept you are at that point. Write down your questions. My mind went blank. 

    @prpl11butterfly I'm glad you found some support through your FB post. I'm also happy to see your OB is moving to have more testing done. I love the tattoo idea and the quote. Very beautiful. 

    Edit to add: Is anyone else having problems with the Bump? I thought it was just on mobile, but it looks like it is my desktop too. It isn't registering when I've looked at a post, so they all say "20 new" even if I've checked the post. Or it isn't showing any new even though there are in fact replies (like on this post). 
    prpl11butterflySpongeWorthykels0091
  • @denma2015 I often feel hopeless too. It was my 3rd loss that really rocked me as well. I don't think anyone intends to join the RPL club. I remember feeling so lucky with my first pregnancy (I made it to 21weeks) not to have any issues (until there were issues, of course). We even got pregnant the first try. Insert eye roll here, I know. I hate that I was so naive. We're potentially looking at IVF too and it's taken a lot of adjusting to that idea. If I were to give any advice, as a member of the RPL club, I'd give yourself a little time to heal. It sounds like maybe you aren't ready to try again but the way you described your heart not being in it this cycle. Be kind to yourself. 

     

    Me 30 DH 31
    MC 1/4/18 @ 21 weeks 
    CP 5/6/18 @ 5.5 weeks
    MC 6/22/18 @ 6.5 weeks


    jrm_14
  • @denma2015 I know I can't relate, but I'm thinking of you and sending you big big hugs. I'm so sorry. We got some great powder this weekend too. I went hiking though. Didn't want to brave the crowds :)

    @nomangos23 I think we braced ourselves for Thanksgiving day feelings and then black Friday snuck in there like like a b*. I'm sorry that was so hard on you. Also, yes to Bill Blass boots. 
  • @prpl11butterfly ; I am so glad your OB is talking about testing and that your friends/family are being supportive! 

    @kbrown2385 ; GL at your appointment next week and the week passes quickly. 

    @nomangos23 ; I am excited that you are off that bench, but sad about your Black Friday experience and the thoughts you had. Also, had to google Bill Blass boots...Added to things that are pretty that I will never have haha! It is now on the list with my Tiffany ring and Michael Kors purse haha! 



    Awkward Family Christmas Photo - TTGP December sig challenge


  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP: 7/18 CP: 8/18 MMC: 11/18 BO 

    Status: Benched until I figure out this cycle/dr clears me

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? My best friend came over last night and she had a MC this month as well. We pretty much had a cryfest/emotional breakdown and it was great. I feel a little lighter today and I am glad that I got out some issues I feel like I was having toward her... Our friends doted on her and made her dinners and made a big deal, but my MC this month was "just another one". So I was having some resentment and upset feelings that I felt like no one cared. I didn't want to be doted on, so it was an internal struggle, that I felt like they were dismissing my pregnancy I guess. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Since I didn't have blood work done with my 2nd CP because I was trying to wait for the "line to get darker" I only have 2 documented MC, so we will wait out another round and see what happens. 

    GTKY? Your boss surprises you with $500 for Christmas. What are you going to splurge on? A DYSON vacuum. I would love one, but its just one of those things I just won't spend that much money on. 

    Awkward Family Christmas Photo - TTGP December sig challenge


    coco2787meatballs37dpjennifersuzycupcake
  • Update to my earlier post - my AMH came back today at 0.33 which puts me in the extremely low category.  As I suspected my RPL is likely due to poor ovarian reserve and genetically defective eggs.  I'm trying to stay positive about this but it is hard.  I am so fortunate that we have not had trouble conceiving.  I guess I am now just holding out hope that one of the eggs I have left will be a good one.  We just have to find that one.    
  • @kgg2241 I’m sorry Thanksgiving was hard, I hope this week is better for you.
    @kbrown2385 Good Luck at your RE appointment.
    @prpl11butterfly idk about you but in one hand while it’s nice to know I’m not alone, when I’m comforted by those who have went on to have children it’s hard to accept because they got their rainbow and I’m still waiting. I hope that made sense.
    @nomangos23 the unexpected hard days are so much harder for me because I hadn’t prepared myself. Hugs
    @denma2015 Add me to the hopeless club. 2 losses and now IF I’m just lost.
    @klmcguire  Sometimes a good cry fest is just what we need, I’m glad it helped. 

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 2 early losses 8/17, 1/18

    Status: WTO, guessing as not temping 

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I’m doing pretty okay. I had a breakdown earlier last week, but since I’ve felt pretty okay. Yesterday was bittersweet as I was decorating my Christmas tree and deciding on the perfect spot for my angel babies ornament.  I had a heck of a fall this morning though and banged up my knee pretty good and my foot is tender, and of course my bruised pride. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? I filled out the paperwork for the RE office beginning of last cycle. I need to actually get my OB records and take it in, I’m just having trouble accepting this.

    GTKY? Your boss surprises you with $500 for Christmas. What are you going to splurge on? A freestand kitchen aide in pink. 



    Me: 34 DH: 46
    December Sig: Awkward Family Phone


    DSS: 19

    DSD: 16

    DS: 3(Nov'14)

    MMC:8/17

    MC: 1/18

    maserrano714jrm_14dpjennifersuzycupcake
  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 2 MC in 2017; diagnosed with uterine septum 8/18 and had that mf'er removed 2 weeks ago. Sayonara, septum! 

    Status: Medically benched until February cycle. 

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? My family was in RARE FORM at Thanksgiving. Not a single person asked how I was feeling 8 days post-op (not 100%, honestly), but made about a dozen references to us having kids like, tomorrow. We are just not good at talking about it and I have so much guilt at the thought of calling them up and telling them that what they do is hurtful. They certainly are not trying to hurt us. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? OB and I discussed other testing options at yesterday's follow-up, and we agreed to wait and just see where we are at later in the spring. Will test if we have another MC or do not conceive by June(ish). This works with my "try to just be chill" plan. 

    GTKY? Your boss surprises you with $500 for Christmas. What are you going to splurge on? Probably a weekend away at a FANCY hotel-- jacuzzi tub, bubble bath, king-size bed. 

    jrm_14suzycupcakemaserrano714
  • @kgg2241 I always want to buy new clothes this time of year! I don't know if it's changing weather or the long, dark days or just plain boredom with my wardrobe. What did you get?! 

    @kbrown2385 Yay for an upcoming appointment! Hopefully it goes well-- I am not seeing an RE, but my OB is just the cream of the crop in terms of humanity and I actually get excited to see her and was a little sad that yesterday was our last appointment until probably the spring. Hopefully you make a good connection with your RE and then you can be more excited than nervous for appointments. 

    @prpl11butterfly Love the tattoo idea and I have often leaned on the story of the pearl in the oyster in hard times-- that the oyster makes beautiful what was once painful. It's a beautiful sentiment. I have a tattoo of a red lantern to represent the "lanterne rouge" jersey in bicycle racing, which celebrates last place finishes and grit. 

    @nomangos23 It is so hard to hear my parents wishing for (more) grandbabies (my sister has a toddler). I get frustrated that they seem to be planning for the eventuality of it, when I am not always that hopeful. On the other hand, if I let myself, I can get excited with their optimism. Hard. 

    @denma2015 I am so sorry this recent loss has been especially devastating. Each one seems to rob us a little more of that naivete we got to have the first time. I've had two losses and agree it was so easy to chalk the first one up to bad luck. But the second one, happening at the same time (to the day!) as the first? I knew we were not in Bad Luck Land anymore. And now the constant, constant worry. Feels unfair. Take care of yourself (like skiing more pow-pa-pow-pow-pow!).

    @klmcguire Yay (?) for the cryfest. Sometimes it is just so needed! I remember sobbing to a friend that life wasn't fair and she was so gracious to cry along with me and say, "You're right, it's not" and how freeing and relieving that was. Also freeing and relieving? The DYSON vacuum. I was reticent to receive one from my spouse as a gift (though not for a holiday, just a random gift) but holy heck if that isn't the most magical thing! It broke once and I cried and cried and cried, but it was covered under warranty! Praise be!

    @kindbytealikat Holiday stuff is just hard. Also, so sorry to hear about your fall-- sounds painful!
    klmcguirejrm_14
  • @kgg2241 I'm glad this week has been easier on you.  Distractions certainly help.

    @kbrown2385 GL at your RE appointment.  I hope you get some answers.

    @prpl11butterfly I love that tattoo idea.  I'm actually getting my first tattoo soon to honor my son.  It will be a tree in the shape of a heart.

    @nomangos23 Oh that is heartbreaking.  It's so difficult to be blindsided by emotion like that when you least expect it.  Hugs <3

    @denma2015 I'm so sorry you are reeling from your recent loss and for your AMH results.  Be kind to yourself.

    @klmcguire I'm glad your conversation with your friend eased your pain a little bit.  Talking about my loss and any feelings I'm having has been the most helpful thing for me in lessening the trauma.

    @kindbytealikat I'm sorry you have to move on to an RE.  Nothing about this is fair :(:smile:

    @minnek8 Ughhh to your family Thanksgiving.  Why do people have to be so rude?  I'm glad you have a plan in place with your OB, but I hope it doesn't come to that!


    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. DS passed away at 14 months old in August

    Status: TWW

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are ok this week.  Last week was difficult being at the ILs.  I cried a lot when my FIL was skyping with his brother and their 10 month old granddaughter.  I hate that FIL wants a grandbaby so much and I can't give it to him.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope.

    GTKY? Your boss surprises you with $500 for Christmas. What are you going to splurge on? A new winter coat!  Mine is old and doesn't fit well anymore.

    Me: 30 DH: 30
      <3 DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018 <3

    TTGP December 2018 Siggy Challenge: Awkward Family Photos

    meatballs37jrm_14suzycupcakemaserrano714
  • dpjenniferdpjennifer member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited November 30

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Unexplained RPL. 4 MC.

    Status: CD 22. Um... I think I O'd in the past several days? So TWW maybe?  But... I'm not temping so it's all just guesswork. LOL.

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

    GTKY? Your boss surprises you with $500 for Christmas. What are you going to splurge on? nomangos23 Oooh, I like your fancy vacuum idea. Maybe a roomba? I also like the travel idea like @minnek8   Honestly though, I'd probably spend it on wood/lumber to either build some bookshelves in my house, build the media center DH was talking about, or build a new fence since ours has some issues and needs to be replaced soon. 

    nomangos23 Awww, I’m so sorry your black Friday shopping was so hard. Does your mom know about your MC or was she blindly just pointing out the outfits? That’s very rough.

    @denma2015 ; Sorry you’re joining the RPL club. It totally sucks. My 4th loss was the one that hit me hardest. First loss was MMC and I was all naive until the ultrasound. The second I was all hopeful that the first was a fluke and I’d be fine. After the 3rd I knew I’d qualify for testing. The 4th was after the testing came back saying it was all fine and right after I found out DH would not consider adoption…

    @klmcguire Ugh, sorry your family was not supportive over the holiday. That’s rough. People just don’t seem to understand.

    TTGP Siggy Contest - December: Awkward family photos (pretty sure the only family this kid has is with his saxophone!)

    Awkward-Family-Christmas-Photo-2

    Me: 34    DH: 37
    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    Married: Nov. 7, 2015
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) 
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    Possibly giving up because I just can't even anymore...

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

    jrm_14suzycupcakemaserrano714zamora_spin
  • @ruby696 Hi friend. Sorry your back here. Big hugs When is your first appt?

    Me 30 DH 31
    MC 1/4/18 @ 21 weeks 
    CP 5/6/18 @ 5.5 weeks
    MC 6/22/18 @ 6.5 weeks


  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: MC 8/2018

    Status:TWW/10DPO

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Trying to not read too much into symptoms. Could be my PMS or could be pregnancy. So hard to wait to test until after my period due date. Just anxious and nervous and don't want to get my hopes up. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? No

    GTKY? Your boss surprises you with $500 for Christmas. What are you going to splurge on? Would love a spa day with full service, massage, facial, mani/pedi. Might just gift myself for Xmas.

  • @nomangos23 ; I haven't called yet. She gave me two to choose from, so I still need to decide. 
  • @maserrano714 ;: solidarity in not POAS until post-AF due date! we can do it.

    @ruby696 : i feel you when you said you're afraid to try again but are afraid you'll regret it if not. i'm glad you're here, though, on the TTGP board, & hope that being here helps in at least a small way with that.

    @nomangos23 lol re: making meltdowns cool. it's always the little things (omg tv commercials get me esp. this time of year). the littler the thing, the cooler, hashtag amirite? 

    @SpongeWorthy i am so sorry about the pressure from your FIL. that's really rough. hang in there.

    @prpl11butterfly  happy belated birthday! <3

    ---

    #/when: 1CP 10/2018

    Status: TWW, 8DPO

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? i'm dreading the next week/2 bc i fear what happened in oct. will happen again & could develop into a pattern, but all of you give me strength--thank you. i have a drs appt next week--was supposed to be this week but got pushed back bc the doc had to go out of town--i digress. i have been wondering if maybe i've had mmcs bc when we were NTNP, i had a few 'weird' periods with some clotting that had never happened before, though AF is all over the place for me & has been as long as i can remember. I hope the gyno can answer some of my questions like this, and I'm glad I've been lurking/sharing on this board recently, as it's helped me to come up w/ some good ones for her. so, thanks everyone for being willing to share--it's been so so helpful to me, considering how new i feel to all of this. / unrelated: i have my prospectus defense (important grad school benchmark) tomorrow, so FX that goes well/I pass. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? not going to POAS unless we make it past AF's expected arrival date.

    GTKY? Your boss surprises you with $500 for Christmas. What are you going to splurge on? it would probably go towards bills TBH, haha, which is depressing, but i'll play for fun rather than for realsies & say... i'd probably go to, like, a local arts fair & buy a bunch of cool stuff from local artists, which is something i always wish i could do--support all the local artists around where i live.

  • @ruby696 I am so sorry you are back here again. I hope your appointments will give you some answers 
    Me: 34 DH: 46
    December Sig: Awkward Family Phone


    DSS: 19

    DSD: 16

    DS: 3(Nov'14)

    MMC:8/17

    MC: 1/18

    jrm_14
  • Hey everybody. Wasn't going to join this until I was actively TTC but I see others "benched" so I figured I would join. This seems like a wonderfully supportive community.


    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

    Just had my first MC wednesday. I knew from my ultrasounds the baby was slow growing.


    Status:not trying for 3 months

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

    obviously just struggling with everything this week. Rave- through this loss I have truly found so many people that have shown so much love and support to my husband and me.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results?nope

    GTKY? Your boss surprises you with $500 for Christmas. What are you going to splurge on? 

    Honestly bills. I will say something fun and say a weekend getaway for my husband and me. 

    maserrano714
  • Jumping in here since we're officially TTC again. 

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC back in Oct. 

    Status: CD4

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

    Generally still feeling sad, but I know moving forward is the best option for me. I was really excited to be pregnant during the holidays for some reason and now any time I think about not being pregnant during them I get bummed again. I went out for an amazing dinner last night with some friends from work and it was exactly what I needed. Plus, I had the best margarita of my life which was a nice added bonus. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results?

    Nothing coming up, but we did get pathology back a bit ago and nothing to report there. Everything was "normal". I had also gotten the chromosomal blood work done before the loss and that all came back low risk so I have no idea about what caused the MC and I likely never will unless the same thing happens again. Which is terrifying, but I need to try regardless. 

    GTKY? Your boss surprises you with $500 for Christmas. What are you going to splurge on? A shit ton of Lush bath bombs, some expensive wine and a nice cozy sweater. 

    *TW*

    Me: 31 │ DH: 34 
    Married 8.16.13
    DS 11.13.16
    MMC dx @ 13w 10/18


    meatballs37jrm_14maserrano714dpjennifer
  • @zuuls_mom Sorry to find you here and for your loss. I get the being bummed about not being pregnant during the holidays. Finding out answers for MC is tough. Like, we want to know, but then the answers are really only half answers. I'm glad you've come to peace with trying again, even though the thought of another mc is terrifying. Also, good margaritas and lush bath bombs are life.  :D

    Me 30 DH 31
    MC 1/4/18 @ 21 weeks 
    CP 5/6/18 @ 5.5 weeks
    MC 6/22/18 @ 6.5 weeks


    zuuls_momjrm_14
  • Sorry to be mostly MIA this week. Crazy week at work. Hugs to anyone I've missed.

    @kindbytealikat I hope you're feeling better after your fall! Also, I hope this week is going better for you emotionally. 

    @minnek8 I'm sorry about your family on Thanksgiving. I think you are right, I'm sure they aren't intentionally trying to hurt you. TTC/loss and all that is still so taboo and hard for people to bring up. That doesn't excuse not asking or being supportive, though. As for your question, I bought a ton of clothes from Mango. I've never shopped with them, so hopefully, I like them. I also bought two sets of new sheets lol. Sheets are expensive! Gotta get them while you can!

    @ruby696 I'm so sorry you find yourself back here.

    @dpjennifer I love that you and DH are so handy! I'd love to get more into woodworking. 

    @katyl90 @zuuls_mom Welcome and I'm sorry for your losses. I completely understand the sadness about not being pregnant for the holidays.
    zuuls_momdpjennifer
  • @nomangos23 I will seriously have dreams about that marg lol. It was flavored with honey liqueur and the perfect balance of sweet/sour and not too strong. Plus, the rim had chili powder in the salt for a little kick! Amazing. I want like 50 more haha.
    *TW*

    Me: 31 │ DH: 34 
    Married 8.16.13
    DS 11.13.16
    MMC dx @ 13w 10/18


  • kgg2241 Handy can be great... except the time needed to do all of it.  Blah. Been threatening to use DH's powertools if he doesn't start actually working on some of the things on his list!  :wink:

    TTGP Siggy Contest - December: Awkward family photos (pretty sure the only family this kid has is with his saxophone!)

    Awkward-Family-Christmas-Photo-2

    Me: 34    DH: 37
    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    Married: Nov. 7, 2015
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) 
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    Possibly giving up because I just can't even anymore...

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • @dpjennifer do it! That's how my mom got things done. I remember being younger and her ripping apart the closets in the master because my dad was taking too long to get to them. 
  • @dpjennifer I always tell DH that my dad is coming down to fix xyz. That spurs him into action lol! 
    prpl11butterflydpjennifer
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