baby and social media — The Bump
November 2018 Moms

baby and social media

The Thanksgiving holiday brought an interesting situation for my family. We are first time parents and it’s grandbaby #1 for my in-laws. We had Thanksgiving dinner at the in-laws and of course, everyone was all about the baby. Well, my husband’s cousins’ wife apparently posted a pic of the baby on Facebook (she’s in her 40’s and while I’m not on Facebook, I’m confident that she would never post anything to put her in a compromising situation). So I find out today that my FIL texted his nephew (her husband) and told him to tell her to take it down. I’m really angry because I guess FIL told his nephew I didn’t want the baby on social media and that is not true. I’m
really upset about it but it brought up a good point for my DH and I to think about her social media footprint, which we plan on discussing as we go along but I thought it would be a good discussion on seeing what other parents’ views are on what they post of their babies and what they allow others to post. My DH has only posted pictures of the baby to his Instagram story or Snapchat story and his settings are as private as they can be (I know nothing is really private) and I posted one birth announcement and a collage of pics for her first Thanksgiving on my insta (neither of us are on Facebook). I’ll probably only just post some pics here and there for holidays or really big things (we don’t post much to begin with and I’m mindful of my followers that may be struggling with losses or conceiving) How are you all handling your baby’s social media footprint?

Re: baby and social media

  • dh and i do not have any social media accounts (except me here). i requested that our families never take any bathtub pics, embarrassing shots, or pics of dd1 in any way underdressed, just so those kinds of pictures can not get dispersed outside the immediate family. my dd1’s preschool has a “private” website where they post pictures of the kids doing their daily activities and it’s only an honor system that other parents do not save and repost those photos. i’d really prefer little to no photos exist on the internet without my approval, but it takes way too much energy to enforce that, and it’s not a huge enough priority for me.
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  • @highsteaks thank you for sharing. I think those are good guidelines that most people will understand and respect. I think what really irked me was that my FIL made the decision for us and I’m sure his intentions were good and pure but it’s something our parents never had to worry about for us (DH is 41 and Facebook came out my senior year of college). I think what also triggered me was that my cousin and his wife also gave us beautiful gifts for the baby and they are unable to have children so they love up their friends babies and their nieces and nephews when some people may be not be able to emotionally do that. I’m sure they were offended and probably upset esp since they may not ever have a chance to post a picture of their own child. I reached out and told them I heard through the family drama phone chain about it and we never said anything of the sorts and they are welcome to post pictures of our baby on their facebooks. My DH and I want to “do the right thing” (whatever that is) but also not restrict our loved ones from sharing their love for our LO with their loved ones. 
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  • Dh and I decided to just keep our own social media accounts set to just friends/family but we're not terribly strict on the social media thing. Most of the images of our children are on Google photos and we share albums with family and close friends. We don't really set rules with folks but most folks are respectful and share their pics of the girls privately with us.
  • @highsteaks that honey convo could have very well happened with us, just not with honey lol. My FIL made the comment about the photo at a lunch outing yesterday my SIL (through marriage, she isn’t my FIL’s daughter) and she wanted to give me the heads up because we are friends on social and has seen the few posts I made so she knew he was just making stuff up. I think as we get closer to the Christmas holiday (we’ll all be together along with my parents) my husband and I will just throw it out there casually about the kind of pictures we would prefer not to be out there should people want to show her off on their own. 
  • We've never really talked about it or set any rules. I like @highsteaks rules about not posting bathtub/naked photos or anything that could be embarrassing. I have some friends who are adamant about not posting any photos of their kids online. It's of course their right as the parents, but I've always thought it was a bit strange since nowadays it's just impossible to not have some sort of online footprint. I'd also really hate to deny family members to post photos to share with their friends. 
    Were you able to talk to your FIL about it? 
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
  • @offtoneverland my SIL asked me not to say anything right away, so it doesn’t seem like she told us or that the cousin/wife said it to avoid making it a bigger thing or causing conflict. I’m probably going to wait until we get closer to the holidays since it’ll be a time people will want to take pics and want to post but if FIL or MIL start taking pics next time they see her, I’ll probably just casually throw it out there like “oh BTW, feel free to share whatever pictures you’d like of her with friends over text/e-mail/social media but for her privacy when she is older, no embarrassing pics or bath time pics when the time comes. Now it’s just her being held or chillin in her rock and play so I don’t see what the big deal is (but I reserve the right to change my mind). It’s nice to hear other people’s thoughts and opinions on it. I’m in education and DH is in law enforcement so we are mindful of ourselves as it is. 
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