PAIF Graduates New Mommies - November 2018 — The Bump
Pregnant after IF

PAIF Graduates New Mommies - November 2018

2MomsHoping2MomsHoping member
500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Photogenic
edited November 2018 in Pregnant after IF
How is it November already?  thought I would get us started for the new month. 

Working moms does it get better?  And if it does get better does it actually move from better to good?  

Sorry long spewing explanation for my question. Lucy starts part time day care next week. Took the recommendations from all of you who recently transition and I’ll be easing in by taking 1-2 days off each week for the first four weeks.

I’m not ready to go back. SO NOT READY. With my current job I’m away from home about 12-13hours a day and do email from home evenings and weekends. I don’t think this will change.  My boss is not flexible and it’s just a demanding role. There is a job opening at the hospital that is 3 blocks from my house and across the street from day care.  Like literally I could just stroll home from work with my baby in her carrier or eat lunch with her every day. It’s entry level and would be a significant cut in pay, but it would save a lot in other expenses (parking, downtown lunches, goodbye suits hello scrubs). I think we could swing it without doing anything super drastic but I feel like it would be such a career killer. To move from a prestigious hospital well into the career ladder to tiny community hospital at the bottom of the ladder makes me feel like I’m failing my former self. I back to school to get my masters and worked all those long hours to get somewhere and now I’m feeling like I’m throwing all that away. Now though the only thing I want to do is be with my baby. I’m scared to even apply because if I did the job I don’t think I could resist the temptation to take it. But I’m worried this is some sort of rough transition I just need to get through and don’t want to regret making such a big decision without even trying to “have it all”.
Me:36 DW:31  
TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses Mentioned 
Dx: My wife has no sperm  :D and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look
2016

 * April IUI#1 - BFN
 * June IUI#2 - BFN
 * July IUI#3 - CP  :'(
 * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts.  Fresh Transfer 1  - CP  :'(
 * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP  :'(
2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
 * April/May IVF#2:  9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts!  Sent for PGS = 2 Normals in the bank! (1 remaining)
 * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal.
 * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!! Beta#1 - 63, Beta#2- 128, ED 8/13
«13

Re: PAIF Graduates New Mommies - November 2018

  • Easing in is a great idea - you know how my transition went haha. 
    And I get the dilemma on the job change. I’m in the same spot. I could get a job closer to home, likely less pressure but I’m afraid to start over, I’m worried about a potential drop in income after DH already made the major job change when Parker was 5m old. We took a huge pay cut there already but he was working 70-80 hour work weeks so it was all worth it in the end. 
    I don’t know when it gets better going back to work but I’ve also really struggled. I’m still working though it myself but you just have to take it day by day and see how it goes. I didn’t think I could step back at when I went back and we’ve found ways I could that I didn’t think possible. 
    Me: 34 DH: 33 - Married 10.2015 ❤️
    DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4
    TTC #1 07.2015
    03.2016 - BFP - MC 5w4d
    09.2016 - Started testing with RE & IF/Endo Diet
    10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
    11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.13.2017 - It's a BOY!
    TTC #2 02.2019
    02.2019 - Testing with RE started/IUD for pain management removed!

           
    2MomsHoping
  • Easing into it is so helpful. It made a big difference for me!

    @2MomsHoping this is going to get really long. Feel free to skip over it, but I want to present a different side. Long story short, stay if you love it, not if you feel obligated to.

    I work at a small company (just barely out of the start up phase) that's in a big growth mode right now. I worked crazy hard before getting pregnant, during pregnancy too, not because I want to climb a corporate ladder, but because I love what i do so much (and of course there's always something to be done at a start up). I ended up delivering late and working until 2 days before. 3 weeks into my maternity leave, my boss asked me to work from home part time. I did and it was exactly what I needed. I was so grateful to have the opportunity. I worked from home the first week she started daycare to help me transition. Now, it's been a year of being back to work. It's been hard, some days seem impossible, with pumping, daycare colds for her and me, feeling like I'm running nonstop. I drop her off around 7/7:30 and end up home around 5:30. I even leave 30 minutes early to spend more time with her at night and make it up after she's in bed. For most, I'm sure i seem crazy. But for me, even with the busy schedule, I can't imagine working a different job. Things will get better for me, as we're actively hiring, but regardless, I can't see myself doing anything else.
    2MomsHoping
  • @2momshoping it’s hard and I’m still struggling a few weeks in. Some other moms in my office said it does get easier but it’s never easy. Almost every day I struggle with leaving her but some days are better than others. It doesn’t help that my office environment isn’t the best and my supervisors aren’t very supportive and the only thing keeping me there for now is that it’s close to the daycare and I am pretty much on my own since I’m not in my main office. I too question about changing jobs or quitting altogether but feel guilty that I worked hard for a masters degree and have a great job with the federal government. Do I really want to give that up? Im giving myself a few months to see how things settle down once we get into a routine before making any huge decisions. You have to go what is best for you and figure out the work/life balance that you are happiest with. 

    Does the other job have room for advancement even if it’s entry level? For me, it’s more about my sanity than pay. I worked in the private industry for awhile but it was all hourly billable, worked mainly from home, driving a lot and I found myself working ALL the time. I took a huge pay cut to go into the public sector and while it was rough at first, there was more room for advancement in the long run and benefits were also better. And the best part for me is no working outside my set business hours as soon as 3.30 hits I’m done. Just something to think about as well. 
    2MomsHopingBusinessWife
  • @Polythene Pam - you’ll never regret that - you’re heart is in the right place. I need to hear stories like yours to know that me stepping back is right. Because it feels right but hurts at the same time. You’re so right saying it’s so personal - every Mom is different, every job or experience is different. 
    Me: 34 DH: 33 - Married 10.2015 ❤️
    DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4
    TTC #1 07.2015
    03.2016 - BFP - MC 5w4d
    09.2016 - Started testing with RE & IF/Endo Diet
    10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
    11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.13.2017 - It's a BOY!
    TTC #2 02.2019
    02.2019 - Testing with RE started/IUD for pain management removed!

           
    Polythene Pam2MomsHopingBusinessWife
  • @2MomsHoping I eased back into work and it was great! I worked half-time for four weeks and wish I could’ve continued the same hours for the entire first year. Balancing a career and motherhood is hard.  I wish I were one of those women who leaned in and had it all, but I’m not. These days I feel like I’m using motherhood as an excuse to not building a career. I don’t love my job. I used to hate my job as there wasn’t much growth. I was bored and I felt like I was wasting my life away. But now that I have a baby, I find that I don’t hate my job as much as I did before. My job isn’t difficult so I can still get stuff done despite being quite inefficient from a lack of sleep. My job also offers quite a bit of flexibility and the pay is not too bad. DH and I are considering trying for #2 soon and that’s another reason why I hesitate looking for better opportunities now. I do feel guilty that I’m not even trying to have it all though, especially since many of my classmates from grad school are so successful. 

    Me: 40  DH: 45
    Unexplained infertility, polycystic ovaries, insulin resistance
    IVF#1 (10/16): Luteal stim, 22R, 10M, 8F. All lost.
    IVF#2 (12/16): Luteal stim, 15R, 3M + 6M (in vitro), 8F, 5B.  All PGS abnormal. 
    IVF#3 (4/17): Long-agonist, 15R, 10M, 10F, 7B. 4 PGS Normal
    FET#1 (7/24/17): 1 embryo, Beta: 143 on 8/2/17. Baby boy born 3/30/2018
    2MomsHopingHopeful_momBusinessWife
  • @JWatt5 it took me 5 years to even admit that I’m mostly a SAHM, I think there’s such a push for equality for women that we feel bad if we shift the focus to our family, even if it’s a small shift. It’s so different for everyone though, we’re all working our asses off and are doing an amazing job! <3
    Hopeful_momBusinessWife
  • @JWatt5
    I have similar trepidation when I think about how my "career" goals (or lack thereof) have changed since baby arrived. I was always an overachiever type and really focused on being MVP at work, etc. It was easy for me to work 60-70 hour weeks because I thrived on the kudos I got from my colleagues and superiors. When baby arrived, however, all of that suddenly seemed so much less important and I felt a little guilty about it -- like I was "taking the easy road" rather than trying to have it all. That guilt made my transition back into a more part-time role extremely stressful and emotional for me. It was my dad who pointed out to me  how long I had waited for my little girl and how I should be celebrating this season in my life -- and how important it was for me to be with her, especially in the first year. Work will always be there; she won't always be little. I still tear up when I remember his words to me. We need to do what's right for us and our families and stop worrying about what we're "supposed" to be doing, I think. 

    @mtpbadger
    So, I am probably a total mom failure because of my paranoia about Anne hurting herself. After we were talking about sitting yesterday, I decided to let her sit on her own without me hovering over her and grabbing her every time she seemed to wobble...and she sat fairly steadily, reaching for toys and playing with things right in front of her. When she wobbled, she was able to catch herself. She didn't tumble much at all the whole time I was letting her sit and play with a toy. No wonder she's been frustrated about sitting in her bouncer or rocker....she wants to be free to move around and do what she wants to do. I guess I'll have to treat her sitting like I did her sleeping on her tummy....figure I'll just get more and more comfortable about it as she shows that she's OK and not going to hurt herself. But I definitely need to get some sitting style toys and a fluffy mat for our main room since her pack n play is too small now. 
    ~~ Our Story in Spoiler! TW loss/child~~
    Fall 2012 -- started TTC
    Summer 2015 - no BFP yet, labs normal, referred to RE
    Fall 2015 - Summer 2016 - Further testing all normal. 3 IUI's -- BFN. Recommended move to IVF. Planned cycle for fall 2016.
    September 2016 - Surprise natural BFP. MMC @ 8 weeks. RE expressed confidence that we just needed the 'right' embryo.
    Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 -- Break from TTC
    June 2017 - Started IVF; egg retrieval for freeze all cycle. 9 mature eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized. 2 4BB embies on ice.
    August 2017 - FET transfer both embies. BFP.  Twin pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound. EDD 4/28/18
    September 2017 - Twin B stopped developing; Twin A doing perfectly! Graduated from RE @ 10 weeks
    March 2018 - Baby Girl born via C/S due to pre-eclampsia -- strong and healthy!


    2MomsHopingHopeful_momBusinessWife

  • Thank you everyone for your stories.  It really helps to know that others that have stepped down and don’t have major regrets. Honestly even if I did end up being at just a regular level long term it would still be a good job with benifits and all that Jazz. So even the worst case senario wouldn’t be that bad. 

     I think I might be able to manage it if stepping back were more of an option. My boss has two kids so you would think she would be understanding but her husband is a stay at home dad so she never really stepped back in her career and expects the same of everyone else. Our director allowed some new moms flexibility and my boss complained to me about how it sets a bad standard. She then forced our director to take away the flexibility for those moms and basically told me if any of my employees had a baby I couldn’t give them any “favors” Neither new mom lasted in their job more than a year. What’s so frustrating is it really doesn’t have to be that way there
    Is room for flexibity in our work environment. When I talked to her about using some vacation days to ease in she basically had to allow me to take them since it was my earned time.  And her tone was pretty disappointed that I even asked for that.  I worry about Lucy not having someone at the ready to pick her up if she gets sick. As it is now we would have to rely on my SIL and that’s not the best plan.  

    @persnickity I love that you love your job  <3 and with a startup I’m sure it is busy but if it is fulfilling you I can see where you can still strike a balance.

    @mtbadger I think my situation is so similar to yours. you do bring up a good point there would still be room for advancement. I would have the benefit of staying in the field and relevant. I may be a little melodramatic that I’m throwing everything away. 

    I would really like to wait it out for 6months to see if I adjust. But at the same time I don’t think it’s often they would have openings and I wouldn’t want to take a step down anywhere else.  DW is in support so I think I’m just going to apply and see what happens. 

    Me:36 DW:31  
    TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses Mentioned 
    Dx: My wife has no sperm  :D and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look
    2016

     * April IUI#1 - BFN
     * June IUI#2 - BFN
     * July IUI#3 - CP  :'(
     * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts.  Fresh Transfer 1  - CP  :'(
     * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP  :'(
    2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
     * April/May IVF#2:  9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts!  Sent for PGS = 2 Normals in the bank! (1 remaining)
     * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal.
     * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!! Beta#1 - 63, Beta#2- 128, ED 8/13
    BusinessWife
  • @2momshoping I'm glad you are going for it and applying! You never know what will happen and just cross that bridge when it comes. 

    I was actually talking to DH last night about how we were all having this discussion on here and that I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling with it.
    2MomsHoping
  • @2MomsHoping - glad you are exploring options! 

    @mbradfo2 - so true. I was lucky enough to have Parker’s first 12m with him and now after just 2m back to work, having this week off with him, I can’t beleive how much he’s changed! 
    Me: 34 DH: 33 - Married 10.2015 ❤️
    DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4
    TTC #1 07.2015
    03.2016 - BFP - MC 5w4d
    09.2016 - Started testing with RE & IF/Endo Diet
    10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
    11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.13.2017 - It's a BOY!
    TTC #2 02.2019
    02.2019 - Testing with RE started/IUD for pain management removed!

           
    2MomsHoping
  • @mbradfo2 not a mom failure at all! I was only letting Abigail sit in between my legs for the longest time (or on my lap) so if she wobbled, she'd fall back on me. Little by little she showed she was getting stronger. She's still pretty wobbly but we're slowly working on her sitting skills. All she wants to do now though is stand holding onto our fingers. She's too little to be standing! DH and I wouldn't be surprised if she skips crawling and goes straight to trying to walk - help us! My nephew started to really want to walk around 7-8 months and never really crawled so we might be in for it. Thankfully she hasn't rolled over in her sleep yet - occasionally she ends up on her side but I know the day is coming when I peek in and she's on her tummy. It's like overnight she stopped being this helpless infant and sometimes seems like such a big girl!

    We are going on our first plane right next weekend and I'm a little nervous b/c she does not like to be contained anymore. 
    2MomsHoping
  • For me I stepped back into a good, non demanding (for the most part) job that I enjoy. It doesn't pay great, has excellent time off (2 full week at Christmas, paid and spring break off) plus what you earn monthly, and decent benefits. I do wish I was closer to the house but my commute is only 7 miles one way, entirely off highway. It really hurt when I first went back, I just felt like I never saw them. Now that they aren't sleeping so much its easier.  When they are so little and slept all the time it was harder to feel like you "see" them. I would go to work when they were asleep and I'd arrive back at the house with them asleep. Maybe when your sweet babies get a bit older and stay up more it'll get easier? Keeping you Mom's going back to work in my thoughts.

    @2MomsHoping Your boss sounds rough to work with, I might switch jobs just based on your description of her. Switching jobs in your field automatically means you'd have to take an entry level position? That doesn't sound quite right to me.
    Hopeful_mom
  • Good for you @2MomsHoping! It sounds like a good option and plan to apply and then see what happens. Your boss seems unreasonable... I left my job 3 years ago for similar reasons. I tried a second company and ended up getting fired (was going to leave anyway). At this point I was TTC and new I needed a better plan. My PCOS had my cycles very messed up and it was the beginning of my long road to pregnancy.  I started my own company doing design work.  I work with several landscape installers to design their projects. It has been great and allows me flexibility and to work at home . However I found it very hard to step back and have slowly done so over the last 3 years.  I plan to go back to part time only.  My plan so to be 1/2 SAHM and 1/2 designer.  We'll see how I manage.  So far my mom watching the baby while I work was a fail last night....but still hopeful it can work in future.  Also plan to hire a part time nanny who can watch him and clean a bit. So far I'm so happy I have all the time I want with William. I will say though we have made some sacrifices so that we can live comfortably on my husband's pay check alone. So it takes the stress off me and whatever I make we can pay things off or save. 
  • *lurking*
    I think I might be able to manage it if stepping back were more of an option. My boss has two kids so you would think she would be understanding but her husband is a stay at home dad so she never really stepped back in her career and expects the same of everyone else. Our director allowed some new moms flexibility and my boss complained to me about how it sets a bad standard. She then forced our director to take away the flexibility for those moms and basically told me if any of my employees had a baby I couldn’t give them any “favors” Neither new mom lasted in their job more than a year. What’s so frustrating is it really doesn’t have to be that way there
    Is room for flexibity in our work environment. When I talked to her about using some vacation days to ease in she basically had to allow me to take them since it was my earned time.  And her tone was pretty disappointed that I even asked for that.  I worry about Lucy not having someone at the ready to pick her up if she gets sick. As it is now we would have to rely on my SIL and that’s not the best plan.  
    Ugh @2MomsHoping - I think that is both morally questionable and short-sighted of your boss. 

    Studies actually show that women with children are the most productive workers: 
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/10/30/study-women-with-more-children-are-more-productive-at-work/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.8ab8416996c5

    Me: 34 DH: 35
    TTC #1 since Nov 2015.
    dx: unexplained
    Dec 2016 - Apr 2017 - IUI + clomid x 4 - all BFN
    July 2017 - IVF#1 - 4 frozen embryos, medical freeze
    Oct 2017 - D&C
    Nov 2017 - Apr 2018 - 3x FET - all BFN
    Sep 2018 - IVF#2 w PGS - 3 frozen normal embryos
    Nov 2018 - FET #4 - BFP

    2MomsHoping
  • I can't believe it's November!  Seriously...like it's already time for the holidays?

    @2MomsHoping I am sorry you're having a tough time with returning to work, hopefully it will get easier regardless of what you choose to do.  I opted to stay home (for now).  I gave up my business/career cold turkey and even though it isn't like losing a place like a teacher would, etc, I will eventually have to rebrand, start, etc when/if I go back.  I worked really hard to establish myself/career but honestly, I didn't bat an eye at staying home.  We both made really good money but lived off of one income knowing/hoping this day would come.  I think whatever you decide to do, it will be whatever is best for you and your sweet baby girl.  There will be days regardless of where you are career-wise that will be easy/hard.  I love being home, but there are days/moments when I wish I was back at work.  






    2MomsHoping
  • @2MomsHoping with your boss and toxic environment, I'd make the same choice as you and look elsewhere. It's not about leaving a career because of being a mom. It's about leaving a toxic place because you realize life's too short. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

    @cashewchicken I think that there's no one who really has it all each and every day. Whether you work full time, part time, or stay at home, you have to do what's best for you and your family. Outsiders may think you have it all or are missing something, but you're the one who can judge.
    2MomsHopingJWatt5
  • 2MomsHoping2MomsHoping member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Photogenic
    edited November 2018
    @stella_700 your right by switching I wouldn’t have to go so far down the ladder but that’s just what’s available at the hospital by my home. In time something better might come along at that location but they are small and I assume wouldn’t have many leadership opportunities.  I could look for more lateral moves at other hospitals near by but the commute would be about the same as I’m dealing with now. Generally traffic is basically awful where I am so though it would solve the awful boss issue I feel like I would be in the same bind with time away from baby but then tied in to that commute for at least another few years. Also the thought of grooming up a new team and keeping that stress (even with a better boss) still sounds not great. Though it would be better for the stepping down/money front so worth considering. I think I just need to open myself up to a genral job search. I know where I’m at at isn’t sustainable but there are probably many more possibilities I can investigate than the black and white senario I’ve painted myself into. Operation revision of resume is on!

    @lablover78 how happy am I to see that screen name. I thought I lost you forever. Big hugs. He’s such a cute little Pooh bear. We looked looked at nanny’s too and I was blown away at how much it would cost but the one on one especially when they are this young is so nice. 

    @funkykey she really is the worst. I have had not great bosses before but I’ve always outlasted them. She’s been there for two years and I’m out of patience and it doesn’t seem like our VP isnt putting any heat on her (from what I can tell). It’s just a major bummer to give up my position. I’ve spent so much time training up and getting a really solid team in place. I’ve been there nearly 10years. Love my team and our doctors. The actual job Is good but not a passion.  All in all it was solid and I was really happy there for a long time. 

    in happy news I made it through daycare meet and greet with Lucille’s teachers. None of us cried. So wins all around. The staff there is so amazing and understanding. We stayed about and hour talking about all her likes and dislikes and they asked tons of questions. We saw all of them caring for the other babies and they would say oh that’s so and so he likes to be fed sitting up like Lucy. And that’s so and so. She hates tummy time too so we only do it for short times and with her favorite chime toy. They really care about all the kids and the head of the infant classroom has been working there for 25 years!  even if I am away more than I’d prefer I’m so thankful that we found daycare where im confident she will be well taken care of. 
    Me:36 DW:31  
    TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses Mentioned 
    Dx: My wife has no sperm  :D and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look
    2016

     * April IUI#1 - BFN
     * June IUI#2 - BFN
     * July IUI#3 - CP  :'(
     * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts.  Fresh Transfer 1  - CP  :'(
     * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP  :'(
    2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
     * April/May IVF#2:  9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts!  Sent for PGS = 2 Normals in the bank! (1 remaining)
     * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal.
     * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!! Beta#1 - 63, Beta#2- 128, ED 8/13
    funkykeylablover78
  • @lablover78
    You can join our facebook group as well :D  Lots of pictures there and it's closed so more privacy!  https://www.facebook.com/groups/563424387441169/

    Congrats on your new-ish arrival :smile:  I'm 7 months in and still don't believe that she's really here, haha. Similar length of time TTC as well....it just feels very surreal still! I can't believe it's going to be Thanksgiving soon and then her first Christmas....where does the time go?? I'm glad a nanny option was feasible for you; hopefully you'll be able to keep your nanny going forward! I was in daycare for my first couple years, but after my sister was born (when I was 3), my parents hired a nanny and she became a huge part of our family. She stayed with us until we were both in high school and my parents couldn't really justify keeping her around anymore....it was really hard for everyone to say goodbye. 

    @2MomsHoping
    I'm so glad it looks like your daycare is going to be a good spot for Lucy! It can sometimes be hard to find the right fit but it sounds like they are really on the ball and invested in the children. I know I'll be going through the same process when we're looking to start a part-time preschool program when she's older....I hope I find teachers and staff as attentive as the ones at your daycare! We're hoping to send her to the preschool at my husband's work (he works at a university and their college of education runs a lab preschool -- lab because the students help out in the preschool to get hands on learning or to do studies).  I've also been looking at a Montessori school near us -- I am trained in the Montessori method and it was what I used when I was teaching  3-4 yr olds in high school and college (after school programs). I think it's such a great way to encourage learning. 
    ~~ Our Story in Spoiler! TW loss/child~~
    Fall 2012 -- started TTC
    Summer 2015 - no BFP yet, labs normal, referred to RE
    Fall 2015 - Summer 2016 - Further testing all normal. 3 IUI's -- BFN. Recommended move to IVF. Planned cycle for fall 2016.
    September 2016 - Surprise natural BFP. MMC @ 8 weeks. RE expressed confidence that we just needed the 'right' embryo.
    Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 -- Break from TTC
    June 2017 - Started IVF; egg retrieval for freeze all cycle. 9 mature eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized. 2 4BB embies on ice.
    August 2017 - FET transfer both embies. BFP.  Twin pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound. EDD 4/28/18
    September 2017 - Twin B stopped developing; Twin A doing perfectly! Graduated from RE @ 10 weeks
    March 2018 - Baby Girl born via C/S due to pre-eclampsia -- strong and healthy!


    2MomsHopinglablover78
  • @wildrainbow that is the best news ever!! Hopefully the circumcision goes well. Fibers crossed he’ll be home next week with you!
    Hopeful_mom
  • @mbradfo2 I’m interest in Montessori schools too. But don’t know much about the method. Do you have recommendations for books/resources?

    @wildrainbow he’s making leaps and bounds!  So happy things are progressing along. Fx that everything goes well and you get your first sleepover :)
    Me:36 DW:31  
    TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses Mentioned 
    Dx: My wife has no sperm  :D and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look
    2016

     * April IUI#1 - BFN
     * June IUI#2 - BFN
     * July IUI#3 - CP  :'(
     * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts.  Fresh Transfer 1  - CP  :'(
     * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP  :'(
    2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
     * April/May IVF#2:  9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts!  Sent for PGS = 2 Normals in the bank! (1 remaining)
     * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal.
     * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!! Beta#1 - 63, Beta#2- 128, ED 8/13
    wildrainbow
  • @lablover78 hey lady!! Congrats! Nice to see u! What a darling Pooh bear! 

    @wildrainbow loved ur update! Thrilled he’s doing so well let it continue! GL today! 

    so did anyone earn an e tea hr of sleep with daylight savings ha!!!!!!!!  :D

    this Lil girl over here keeps trying to jump off my lap while I’m feeding her.... dear me!!
    History of TTC in spoiler box
    TTC since 2014
    Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
    7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN 
    IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle :( RE thought I would get at least 10.
    IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
    IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F,  3DT)-BFP  with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks  :'( 
    IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP  (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal  :'( 
    IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! :)
    IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! :)
    IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!

    wildrainbowlablover78
  • @2MomsHoping
    This is a great overview of the philosophy of Montessori and how you can implement it even in your own home.
    Mostly, it's just about giving structured freedom for kids to learn skills on their own and explore their environment, rather than being constantly directed by adults as to what to do and when to do it. 

    In our 3-4 year old class, for example, we had multiple activities that kids could work at with tasks that would change depending on the current lesson -- there was always a crafting project,  coloring pages, structured toys (that would also be used in the lesson so the kids could recreate the lesson if they wanted), books, etc. Each child would get their own mat to place where they wanted to go in the room and most of the activities were packaged in little boxes that they could pick up and carry over to their mat. They were also encouraged to help others if someone was struggling with a task, etc. Every session was structured: song/rhymes to start, a short story or lesson, free mat time to work at a station, sharing time, reinforcement of the lesson, songs and rhymes to end the session. 

    I've often thought about getting back into early childhood education or opening a daycare but the amount of time and effort and money that would require sorta pulls me back at the moment. Also all the legal stuff :expressionless:
     
    ~~ Our Story in Spoiler! TW loss/child~~
    Fall 2012 -- started TTC
    Summer 2015 - no BFP yet, labs normal, referred to RE
    Fall 2015 - Summer 2016 - Further testing all normal. 3 IUI's -- BFN. Recommended move to IVF. Planned cycle for fall 2016.
    September 2016 - Surprise natural BFP. MMC @ 8 weeks. RE expressed confidence that we just needed the 'right' embryo.
    Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 -- Break from TTC
    June 2017 - Started IVF; egg retrieval for freeze all cycle. 9 mature eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized. 2 4BB embies on ice.
    August 2017 - FET transfer both embies. BFP.  Twin pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound. EDD 4/28/18
    September 2017 - Twin B stopped developing; Twin A doing perfectly! Graduated from RE @ 10 weeks
    March 2018 - Baby Girl born via C/S due to pre-eclampsia -- strong and healthy!


    BusinessWife
  • @mbradfo2 thank you for the book recommendation!  It’s officially on the reading list. So far I like everything you have described. The public school system in Chicago is so wacky. There are applications and lotteries starting for preschool spots on up. Our neighborhood default school is fortunately good but of course I want the best. They have introduced a few montessori schools into the public school system, and one not far from us. There are also a couple private ones, though i didn’t think we could make that work if I take a step back from work. We will see,either way I can certainly benefit from implementing things at home!

    I hope one day you are able to make it back to early childhood education.  Even at my ripe old age I remember my teachers that were passionate and am so thankful for the influences they have made in my life.   <3
    Me:36 DW:31  
    TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses Mentioned 
    Dx: My wife has no sperm  :D and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look
    2016

     * April IUI#1 - BFN
     * June IUI#2 - BFN
     * July IUI#3 - CP  :'(
     * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts.  Fresh Transfer 1  - CP  :'(
     * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP  :'(
    2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
     * April/May IVF#2:  9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts!  Sent for PGS = 2 Normals in the bank! (1 remaining)
     * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal.
     * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!! Beta#1 - 63, Beta#2- 128, ED 8/13
    BusinessWife
  • @wildrainbow yes yes yes!!!! So incredibly happy for you!! Enjoy all the snuggles! 
    wildrainbow
  • Yay @wildrainbow!! How wonderful:)






    wildrainbow
  • @wildrainbow that’s fantastic! Congrats! What a champ!
    History of TTC in spoiler box
    TTC since 2014
    Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
    7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN 
    IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle :( RE thought I would get at least 10.
    IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
    IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F,  3DT)-BFP  with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks  :'( 
    IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP  (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal  :'( 
    IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! :)
    IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! :)
    IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!

    wildrainbow
  • @wildrainbow
    Awesome to hear! Sounds like everyone's adjusting and your older boy is feeling good and helpful! I remember when my older niece met baby Anne -- she wanted to do everything for her, feed her, hug her. She made a birthday card and brought it to the hospital! It's so important for the older kids to feel special too in their new roles as big sibs :smile:   (speaking as a big sister myself!)  I'm so glad your little one transitioned so well to room air and was able to go home quickly!!! It must be a huge relief.
    ~~ Our Story in Spoiler! TW loss/child~~
    Fall 2012 -- started TTC
    Summer 2015 - no BFP yet, labs normal, referred to RE
    Fall 2015 - Summer 2016 - Further testing all normal. 3 IUI's -- BFN. Recommended move to IVF. Planned cycle for fall 2016.
    September 2016 - Surprise natural BFP. MMC @ 8 weeks. RE expressed confidence that we just needed the 'right' embryo.
    Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 -- Break from TTC
    June 2017 - Started IVF; egg retrieval for freeze all cycle. 9 mature eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized. 2 4BB embies on ice.
    August 2017 - FET transfer both embies. BFP.  Twin pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound. EDD 4/28/18
    September 2017 - Twin B stopped developing; Twin A doing perfectly! Graduated from RE @ 10 weeks
    March 2018 - Baby Girl born via C/S due to pre-eclampsia -- strong and healthy!


    wildrainbowHopeful_mom
  • @wildrainbow BEST NEWS EVER!!  So happynyour newly expanded family is all together at home. So happy for all of you. 
    Me:36 DW:31  
    TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses Mentioned 
    Dx: My wife has no sperm  :D and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look
    2016

     * April IUI#1 - BFN
     * June IUI#2 - BFN
     * July IUI#3 - CP  :'(
     * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts.  Fresh Transfer 1  - CP  :'(
     * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP  :'(
    2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
     * April/May IVF#2:  9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts!  Sent for PGS = 2 Normals in the bank! (1 remaining)
     * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal.
     * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!! Beta#1 - 63, Beta#2- 128, ED 8/13
    wildrainbow
  • That’s great @wildrainbow
    Me: 34 DH: 33 - Married 10.2015 ❤️
    DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4
    TTC #1 07.2015
    03.2016 - BFP - MC 5w4d
    09.2016 - Started testing with RE & IF/Endo Diet
    10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
    11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.13.2017 - It's a BOY!
    TTC #2 02.2019
    02.2019 - Testing with RE started/IUD for pain management removed!

           
    wildrainbow
  • hottietoddyhottietoddy member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited November 2018
    Hi @lablover78 your little Pooh bear is adorable! So happy to see you on the other side over here!!

    So exciting @wildrainbow!! What a joyous moment to finally be home with your little one you worked so hard for safe and sound!

    I would love William to go to a Montessori school, they sound so cool.  My little brother and I went to one just for the few years before kindergarten.  I am thinking we'll do nanny part time and me watching him until he is 3 or 4 then will do a year or two of a good preschool for an extra boost befor kindergarten. 
    wildrainbowBusinessWife
  • Abigail is going on her first plane ride this weekend (her first trip to WI!). Any tips, tricks or words of advice? 
    JWatt52MomsHopingBusinessWife
  • @mtpbadger - give yourself time and try not to sweat the small stuff. A carrier is perfect for boarding, backpack instead of a bag, we took his fav toy, it was my DH and I so we passed him back and forth. Parker was 7m so we took lots of Mum Mums to distract him lol. 
    Me: 34 DH: 33 - Married 10.2015 ❤️
    DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4
    TTC #1 07.2015
    03.2016 - BFP - MC 5w4d
    09.2016 - Started testing with RE & IF/Endo Diet
    10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
    11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.13.2017 - It's a BOY!
    TTC #2 02.2019
    02.2019 - Testing with RE started/IUD for pain management removed!

           
    BusinessWife
  • @jwatt5 thanks! It’s a 7am flight, ugh, so it’ll be an early morning! Hopefully she’ll sleep most of the flight
    BusinessWife
  • @mtpbadger - we had an early flight too. Having to wake up at 3:30am to be at the airport in time stunk but they are so interested in all the new sights he did great (and did sleep on the plane!). 
    Me: 34 DH: 33 - Married 10.2015 ❤️
    DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4
    TTC #1 07.2015
    03.2016 - BFP - MC 5w4d
    09.2016 - Started testing with RE & IF/Endo Diet
    10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
    11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.13.2017 - It's a BOY!
    TTC #2 02.2019
    02.2019 - Testing with RE started/IUD for pain management removed!

           
    BusinessWife
  • @mtpbadger We've done 4 flights now with Mackenzie. We bring a book for her to "read" and a toy she doesn't see often, so it's new and exciting. She usually naps for part of the flight. For the airport, the carrier makes it so easy. Plus most airports have great family restrooms available too. You can take pouches with you from home, they count under the liquids in a quart bag rule.
    BusinessWife
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