TTCAL week of 10/8 — The Bump
Trying to Get Pregnant

TTCAL week of 10/8

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY?  What's your favorite thing about fall? 

Me: 34  H: 34
Married: 4/5/13

"You know that place between sleep and awake, 
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.  
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan 

*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 

Re: TTCAL week of 10/8

  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

    Mmc 2/11 and mmc 8/17

    Status: wto

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

    I am an emotional roller coaster.  Br what’s new.  I keep thinking what if this never works out.  Dh says 1 more loss and we are done, which I don’t necessarily agree with.  But I do think I want to set a timeline of “if not pregnant by X” we are done trying .  Hopefully it won’t get to that point,  but I think I mentally need that.  

    Any testing coming up/any recent results?

    If not pregnant this month, I am going to ask my obgyn to run labs again.  He told me he wants me to try for a few months before testing again, since  I am getting cycles on my own again.

    GTKY?  What's your favorite thing about fall? 

    Everything.  But if I have to pick, the weather.

    jrm_14coco2787kels0091meatballs37
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  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 5 losses, 4 in the past 16 months

    Status: benched

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Finally got the appt with the fertility dr at the end of the month. It’s kickstarted my desire to lose some weight, which I know will be something the dr will mention. I’m finding it hard to stick with it, other than our daily hikes at the park nearby. On the plus side, since I’m benched, dh and I have really been able to focus on reconnecting. Really enjoying that part. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Meeting with the fertility dr at the end of the month to start testing. 

    GTKY?  What's your favorite thing about fall? All the things. Fall is my favorite time of year. I love apple and pumpkin picking, like at an actual orchard and pumpkin field. I was deprived of it when we lived in SC the past 3 years, so I’m happy to be a little more north this year. We still have to drive a little ways to find the orchards, but I’ll actually get to see the leaves change and have cooler fall weather again. 

    coco2787
  • @coco2787 I feel like I wrote your post. Or your wrote my post. I'm so happy for all the grads, but so sad that I'm still here a year later. As for a deadline - I've set one a couple of times, but they've all passed. I just can't seem to let go of this.

    @kbrown2385 Congrats on getting the referral! Hopefully your new doctor can give you some answers.

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. One MMC and two CP's in the last 12 months. MMC in 2013. Last CP was in September. 

    Status: I feel like I'm in the TWW, but waiting for a temp shift to confirm. All signs point to O yesterday or the day before. I tend to have a 2-3 day delay before I see temps increase.

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I haven't been posting much lately - I just don't feel like I have much positive to contribute. I just want to be able to stay pregnant, but I truly feel like it's not going to happen for me and I don't know how many more MC's I can take. I'm so happy for all the grads, but it's really hard knowing I'm no longer part of the club. Since staying pregnant is my issue, becoming pregnant really doesn't excite me anymore.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? I'll have my prolactin levels tested next week. I'm eager for that one since elevated prolactin can cause repeat MC. I really just want an answer. Also waiting on genetic testing to come back. Tests for thyroid and clotting disorders came back normal.

    GTKY?  What's your favorite thing about fall? Definitely the weather.

    coco2787meatballs37kbrown2385dpjennifer
  • @coco2787 as much as we will miss you, I know a break helped me. I wasn't able to stay away too long as no one else knows of our fertility struggle and recent loss, so I know I needed the support. 
    We will be here for you whenever you come back. I'm thinking of you today ❤
    coco2787
  • coco2787coco2787 member
    edited October 2018
    it's hard to set a deadline like that @holly321 but I can definitely see how it might be helpful to have a concrete plan.  I'll be keeping my fingers crossed it doesn't get to that point.  

    @kbrown2385 I'm glad to hear you finally got an appointment, I really hope they can find some answers/solutions for you.  I'll be warming the bench with you.

    @ruby696 I'm sorry to hear you're struggling as well.  It seems like the only people left in this group right now are RPL moms who have been trying a year or more  :'(  I of course don't wish that there's anything wrong with you but I hope the testing finds something treatable.  The world of unexplained loss effing sucks.

    @kindbytealikat I'm glad you and your H are more or less on the same page right now and I hope that he keeps an open mind to pursuing other ways of getting pregnant or having a child.  
    Me: 34  H: 34
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
    jrm_14holly321
  • Sending hugs to all my TTCAL friends  <3<3<3
    meatballs37coco2787
  • @coco2787 At this point, I would gladly take knowing there's something wrong with me. At least then we could treat it or have a concrete reason to move on. 
    coco2787
  • Oh for sure @ruby696, I felt the same way when doing my RPL testing.  It just feels weird wishing a medical issue upon someone.   
    Me: 34  H: 34
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
    jrm_14ruby696
  • Sooo, to follow-up on my comments to @coco2787, I just picked up my lab results and discovered I'm heterozygous for the C677T variant. (MTHFR) I know this is less severe than being homogygous, but I'm wondering if anyone else with repeat loss history has the same issue? I have a call into my doctor, but I'm thinking about starting low dose aspirin as a precaution. Any thoughts are appreciated.  

    PS - I posted this over in TCAL, so apologies to those of you who keep seeing it.
    coco2787
  • @kindbytealikat I am glad you were able to have a talk with your dh and he be more realistic.  I hate when dh always just says it will work out.  I know it isn’t on purpose, but I feel like it is disregarding my feelings. 

    @ruby696 I get feeling like you can’t contribute.  It is hard to feel excited sometimes.  I hope your test results will help you with your next step.

    @coco2787. I am so sorry your are struggling, and being benched is unimaginably hard and definitely makes you question stuff.  St least when you can try there is a bit of hope (even if you are like me and go from feeling hopeful to hopeless in a matter of seconds)
    coco2787ruby696
  • Hi ladies, just checking in to say hi! I'm out of town for work this week and have a packed schedule. I've glanced at the discussion and hope everyone is doing well and taking care of themselves this week. I'll try to check in later this week. Big hugs!  <3
    coco2787
  • @ruby696 a few weeks ago someone else had a similar question and @zamora_spin typed out a great response you might find helpful.  Link to the thread here https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/90793145#Comment_90793145
    Me: 34  H: 34
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
    offtoneverlandzamoraspin2
  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. - one loss, mmc. 

    Status: wto

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I feel super sad in the mornings, ive missed a crazy amount of work because of it. I hope I can shake it soon. I see my gyno in a week and I know he's going to try to convince me to take provera to jump start my cycle since it hasn't started again. last time I took provera i bled so bad I had to get a blood transfusion. im struggling with how misunderstood my body is. I also know my bf is trying to understand but he doesnt and he might never. my dog hasnt been as bad this week so I guess that's going good. rant - we haven't found a house yet so as of november 1st we move in to the in laws house. that's stressful but we all get along super well. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? In a week I'm hoping to get my thyroid tested because I fainted today and the Dr said I had extremely low blood pressure and low blood sugar. no reason for either. 

    GTKY?  What's your favorite thing about fall? I live in canada in BC on vancouver island, on blue sky sunny days, it's so amazing. but it rains. all.the.time. And seasonal depression is horrible. but I'm trying to embrace the rain/stormy weather and find seasonal teas i like. 

  • @kels0091 I'm sorry this week has been a struggle for you. Hopefully moving in with the in-laws helps saves some money? Also, have you heard of those therapy lamps that mimic a bright and sunny day? I think they're called SAD lamps. A girl I follow on Instagram recommend them for her depression that is triggered by this time of year when there isn't as much sunlight. I don't know much about them but here's a link from a quick google search. Good luck on thyroid testing. I just had mine tests and was able to start meds and I feel so much better than I was before. 
    https://www.thecut.com/2017/10/best-sad-lamps-on-amazon.html
    kels0091
  • @dpjennifer I'm sorry it was such a sad weekend and I'm so sorry for your losses.  I hope you are able to find some good distractions to get you through the tough days this month <3

    @kels0091 that seems odd your doctor would want you to take a med that caused such serious complications, can you get a second opinion anywhere?  If it hasn't been 8 weeks yet since your loss I wouldn't be concerned yet about AF not showing up.  

    @kgg2241 that's really tough to have that kind of association with flying.  Do you do any kind of therapy?  There's some effective behavioral therapy out there that could be beneficial for you to try and overcome that, similar to stuff that's done with PTSD.  Even if you don't want to see a therapist if you look up cognitive behavioral therapy you can find some useful techniques to just try out yourself.  
    Me: 34  H: 34
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
    jrm_14kgg2241kels0091
  • Plot twist: AF showed up despite doctor telling me that estrogen supplement should prevent it.  Waiting to hear back from the clinic about next steps.  I don't know why shit can't just ever go as planned.  
    Me: 34  H: 34
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
  • jrm_14jrm_14 member
    edited October 2018
    @coco2728 I really hope they get back to you today. Furthermore, I hope this decreases your bench time.  Eat all the period food & waller in your feelings for the day- it’s okay to do so. 
    meatballs37coco2787eleven_ruby696
  • kgg2241kgg2241 member
    edited October 2018
    @coco2787 I'm sorry about all the unpredictability! That is frustrating. Maybe this will be a reset and like Jrm said, you'll get off the bench faster. Keep us updated! 

    Also thanks for the response. I did therapy about a year ago and it was really helpful. I should probably start up again. It just feels kind of overwhelming right now. 
    eleven_coco2787jrm_14
  • @nomangos23 YES I love the happy lights. I had one but it broke so I'll be getting another one! They really do work. 
    @coco2787 im definitely going to plead my case to not have to take provera. a couple other things caused the bleeding issues but I tend to blame just one thing. 
    @kgg2241 thanks ❤ it was scary but I'm feeling a lot better now. I appreciate everyone's support so so much. 
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