PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - October 2018 - Page 5 — The Bump
Pregnant after IF

PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - October 2018

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Re: PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - October 2018

  • mbradfo2mbradfo2
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited October 2018
    @JWatt5
    I also had a difficult transition back to work and I'm only now just getting a handle on it. I work from home mostly but go to the office a few half days a week for meetings/etc. I was just completely overwhelmed doing any work and was struggling to meet deadlines. I cut back temporarily but now since I'm getting a handle on things, I've been adding more tasks back onto my plate. It is a -huge- transition and I'm glad my work was supportive of it. I hope yours will be as well. 

    @2MomsHoping
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with her ear! How horrible for your MIL to say that!! She's perfect!
    ~~ Our Story in Spoiler! TW loss/child~~
    Fall 2012 -- started TTC
    Summer 2015 - no BFP yet, labs normal, referred to RE
    Fall 2015 - Summer 2016 - Further testing all normal. 3 IUI's -- BFN. Recommended move to IVF. Planned cycle for fall 2016.
    September 2016 - Surprise natural BFP. MMC @ 8 weeks. RE expressed confidence that we just needed the 'right' embryo.
    Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 -- Break from TTC
    June 2017 - Started IVF; egg retrieval for freeze all cycle. 9 mature eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized. 2 4BB embies on ice.
    August 2017 - FET transfer both embies. BFP.  Twin pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound. EDD 4/28/18
    September 2017 - Twin B stopped developing; Twin A doing perfectly! Graduated from RE @ 10 weeks
    March 2018 - Baby Girl born via C/S due to pre-eclampsia -- strong and healthy!


    BusinessWife
  • @mbradfo2 - thank you for sharing - that’s exactly how I feel. It’s not even sleep - it’s just I can’t focus.- I should have “transitioned” in to work instead of going full tilt. Funny I handle all Return to Work cases at my work and I’m always advocating for anyone that has more than 6m off to start with graduated hours yet I didn’t for myself after having the time off AND now being a new mom. 
    Me: 35 DH: 34 - Married 10.2015 ❤️
    DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4
    TTC #1 07.2015
    03.2016 - BFP - MC 5w4d
    09.2016 - Started testing with RE & IF/Endo Diet
    10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
    11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.13.2017 - It's a BOY!
    TTC #2 05.2019
    05.2019 - IUD for removed (used & worked for pain mgmt)
    06.2019 & 07.2019 - Natural Cycles with Monitoring - BFN
    08.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = Chemical Pregnancy/Miscarriage
    09.2019 - IUI w/Injections #2 = TWW

           
    persnickityBusinessWife2MomsHoping
  • Loading the player...
  • Transitioning back is really important. No matter how long you've been out, it's like starting a new job. You're now a mom and an employee.

    I think Mackenzie's teething again. She's been really struggling at night sleeping longer than 2 hours and crying out in pain when she wakes. I think it's molars and I hope it's over soon.
    BusinessWife
  • Yes I think I should have transitioned more as well. I agree with no being able to think... I think it’s a mixture of mom brain and the Fibro fog. So lovely! 
    Bryson has not been sleeping all weekend. He has a cough and has been teething I think. So fun. 
    TTC 4 years. 7 failed IUI's with either Clomid, Femara and/or Trigger Shots. Started IVF journey in February 2017. Polyps removed in May. 1st IVF Transfer September 26th. BFP. Expected due date 6/14/18. Baby boy born 5/25/18 at 6 lb 9 oz. My bundle of joy. 
    JWatt5mbradfo2
  • Thank you all I’m so glad you guys would feel the same way about the comment. I’m just going to ignore her and her comments like I usually do 😂. @persnickity poor little Bryson that must have so difficult to do but from what you said in the long run it was the best thing to do. 

    @jwatt5 your ideas/plans for dealing with work sound great and having a vacation to look forward to sometimes helps get through. Wishing you lots of luck next week. 
    Me:38 DW:33 
    TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses/Child Mentioned 
    Dx: My wife has no sperm  :D and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look
    2016

     * April IUI#1 - BFN
     * June IUI#2 - BFN
     * July IUI#3 - CP  :'(
     * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts.  Fresh Transfer 1  - CP  :'(
     * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP  :'(
    2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
     * April/May IVF#2:  9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts!  Sent for testing - 2PGS Normals (0 remaining)
     * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal!
     * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!!
    2018 DD born 8/20/18
    2019 5PGS frosties ( 4 remaining)
      * September FET#3 (1PGS normal) - Beta#1: 139.7  Beta#2: 322.6

    BusinessWife
  • @2MomsHoping what a cute lil ear, I didn’t even notice what u was looking out till it was spelled out.  Kids are so cruel is scary to think what we’re all in for as time goes on.  Sounds like you’re prepared either way, u go mom!! You’re MIL is tough makes me glad I don’t have to deal with that. 

    @JWatt5 sorry things r tough I can’t even imagine!! Is there anyway u can try and step bac a lil so you can transition better, it has to be so tough!!

    @Holls214 why do u think Bryson is teething? My LO screamed for an hr the other night I wasn’t sure if it was gas or what.  Just glad she calmed down and took a bottle.  I still think it was gas as it started while I was trying to feed her.


    History of TTC in spoiler box
    TTC since 2014
    Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
    7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN 
    IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle :( RE thought I would get at least 10.
    IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
    IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F,  3DT)-BFP  with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks  :'( 
    IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP  (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal  :'( 
    IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! :)
    IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! :)
    IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!

    2MomsHoping
  • @2MomsHoping  I think you showed great restraint in not punching your MIL. Lucy is incredible beautiful, her ear is fine. Our daughter Victoria has an almost identical notch in her ear, on the same side even. The only time I ever really "thought" about it was during the hearing test while still in the NICU. (She hears just fine, listening however we have some work to do on)

    So Victoria hit Chase with a wooden block on the head yesterday. Best method to strongly discourage such behavior in an eleven month old? Right now we are going with a very firm no, take the blocks away, and moving her away from him. She cries like we've destroyed her, problem is she's repeating the behavior.

    @JWatt5 I'm so sorry you've had a rough time. I think we fall into the trap that we all have to be superwomen. Please be kind to yourself. More than than stand up for yourself and make others respect your feelings and wishes. Snuggle your sweet boy.

    We all advocated for ourselves strongly though the IF process, the trick for me was continuing to do that afterwards in other aspects of my life. We need to advocate for ourselves everywhere.

    Little dude had a rough night last night. Teething pain, so we were cuddle buddies on the couch together. 2:30 a.m. and watching the lightning out the living room window holding the little man and thinking to myself not to worry about the lost sleep, to only appreciate that they will only be this young once.
    2MomsHopingBusinessWife
  • Thanks again everyone - I spoke with my boss and surprisingly, he's agreed to what I've requested - I'll be home on Fridays for the rest of the year, working if needed. I think I'm going to go back to my Friday Mom Group/Crossfit group. They are awesome to be around. 
    Me: 35 DH: 34 - Married 10.2015 ❤️
    DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4
    TTC #1 07.2015
    03.2016 - BFP - MC 5w4d
    09.2016 - Started testing with RE & IF/Endo Diet
    10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
    11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.13.2017 - It's a BOY!
    TTC #2 05.2019
    05.2019 - IUD for removed (used & worked for pain mgmt)
    06.2019 & 07.2019 - Natural Cycles with Monitoring - BFN
    08.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = Chemical Pregnancy/Miscarriage
    09.2019 - IUI w/Injections #2 = TWW

           
    persnickitysarzee2BusinessWife
  • @stella_700 daycare suggests that with hurting others (hitting or biting etc) that you tell the person doing the action to stop. Then focus on the person who was hurt, so they learn they don't get any attention from doing things like that. Then you can work on the why. Is she doing it because she's upset, doesn't know better, etc. If she's upset and doing it, work on words (sign language or verbal) or walking away. If she just doesn't know better, work on praising the good interactions and things like we don't want to hurt our friends, let's play gently instead. If it's for attention, try to find a way to spend one on one time with each of them. The last thing daycare did was try to intervene before the hitting/biting occurred and redirect.

    We had a month or so of working with them when Mackenzie was biting. She is much better, but when she gets frustrated, it's still her first reaction.
    JWatt52MomsHopingBusinessWife
  • @stella_700
    Discipline with babies is pretty hard since they don't really understand the idea of "consequences". I think you're doing the best you can at the moment -- correcting when the behavior occurs and removing both of them from the situation. She'll probably keep at the behavior for awhile until she tires of losing her blocks or playtime ending.  I like this handout from the AAP about encouraging good behaviors and discouraging bad, but there's still really no good way to discipline a baby under 1 year. 
    ~~ Our Story in Spoiler! TW loss/child~~
    Fall 2012 -- started TTC
    Summer 2015 - no BFP yet, labs normal, referred to RE
    Fall 2015 - Summer 2016 - Further testing all normal. 3 IUI's -- BFN. Recommended move to IVF. Planned cycle for fall 2016.
    September 2016 - Surprise natural BFP. MMC @ 8 weeks. RE expressed confidence that we just needed the 'right' embryo.
    Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 -- Break from TTC
    June 2017 - Started IVF; egg retrieval for freeze all cycle. 9 mature eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized. 2 4BB embies on ice.
    August 2017 - FET transfer both embies. BFP.  Twin pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound. EDD 4/28/18
    September 2017 - Twin B stopped developing; Twin A doing perfectly! Graduated from RE @ 10 weeks
    March 2018 - Baby Girl born via C/S due to pre-eclampsia -- strong and healthy!


  • Ughhh @2MomsHoping, Lucy is beautiful & perfect!  Your MIL shouldn't have an opinion about her ear!  You showed great restraint by not smacking her.

    @JWatt5 Sorry you're having a rough time but that's good your boss agreed with your request!

    i know I'm not crazy about TFAS - I actually just got my first postpartum AF so maybe it'll happen on its own...haha not holding my breath! @Hopeful_mom yeah I can't start until I'm done pumping so whenever I'm ready to be done.  In my head I thought when she was 6 months I'd stop so we could egg freeze, giving her a sibling is more important to me than BF/pumping til she's one...but now I'm having a harder time since she's already 4.5 months.  She can start food/cereal at 5 months so maybe I'll feel better once I see her eating food.  






    JWatt5Hopeful_mom
  • @JWatt5 - this hurts my heart to hear, I'm so sorry. I hope that things get better or that counseling helps you - happy to see your boss agreed though. That had to be at least just a little bit of relief for you. 

    @2MomsHoping I'm with @stella_700, I would have punched my MIL. As I read your post, the picture was below the fold so I was picturing something much more. I don't think it's a big deal at ALL. And I can sometimes be a bit shallow ;)

    AFM my DH and I took a quick weekend trip to see our college football team on the road in Alabama. We had the 'do we have a #2' conversation which surprised me because I was pretty sure he had decided that we were done (not in the domineering way that sounds, just as in we agreed we were lucky to have one). At the end of the day, while I'd love to have another, I don't think I can open myself up to going through the process again. I'm 39 and, of the 13 eggs retrieved, we only had one viable, genetically sound embryo. I have several close friends going through the IVF process and none of them are having success so I think a lot of it is very much fear motivated. That and we have been blessed with an amazing baby with an amazing temperament and desire to sleep - what if a second was the exact opposite? I guess that may also be fear motivated... So I'm sad because I feel like now that we've discussed it the book is truly closed. I knew it was but it seems like talking and making it definitive is real now. 
    *** TW**

    Me: 37, DH:39
    Met: 2002 | Married: 2004 | TTC since January 2014
    July 2015: MMC @ 9 wks | August 2015: Chemical
    March, April, May & June 2016: Medicated IUIs | BFN 
    August 2016: Started Stims 8/22
    September 2016: Egg Retrieval 9/4 | 13 Mature Eggs | 10 Fertilized | 3 Blastocytes | 1 PGS Normal Embaby 
    November 7, 2016: FET - BFP!
    EDD 7/25/17
    Zoey Alexis born 7/25/17 @ 12:39 PM | 7lbs 14oz | 19 inches
    JWatt52MomsHoping
  • Ughhhh I need to vent about my ILs cause if I say one more thing to DH it will cause an argument...

    Yesterday we had a friend over and we all ended up having dinner with my ILs. We were talking about how Carter loves baths and how he always tries to drink the water. Our friend asked if babies can have water and my FIL piped up with "Yeah can he have water?!" I swear to God, I have told them no less than 15 times that babies cannot have water or solid food and the reason why. At this point I'm actually concerned about memory problems because they ask every few days. And since I'm EP'ing they have both fed him milk from bottles, so I don't get this obsession with needing to give him water specifically!

    Anyways so I said "No, no water until he's older because..." and my MIL cut me off and said it's because water is the hardest liquid to digest. Which makes literally no sense. So I shook my head at my friend and mouthed "that's not why" and my MIL was like "Why are you shaking your head" and I said "That's not the reason why it's because of the risk of water intoxication" and she just looked dumbfounded. I'm like "I HAVE TOLD YOU THIS MANY TIMES!"

    Then later on she was commenting on Carter's beautiful blue eyes and how he's going to grow up telling everyone he got his blue eyes from his grandpa. DH was like "He actually has beautiful blue eyes just like his mommy" and she was like "Well with my boys my MIL always claimed they got their features from other people" and I'm like yeah...so why would you perpetuate that by implying his features aren't from his own parent when they CLEARLY are?

    FIL was also saying that by next summer Carter is going to be riding a bike, so they have to get DH's and his brother's bikes from when they were kids restored. I was like "Aw that's cute, he definitely won't be riding a bike by next summer though, so no rush on getting them restored" and he was like "No no, he'll definitely be riding it". Like...I get that he's excited, but does he actually not realize that a 10 month old baby has no need for a bicycle?

    I had had a really rough day on Friday and DH ended up calling out of work. We discussed that it would probably make it easier on me if I had a schedule with MIL where she watches him on a set day or two for set hours just to give me a break, but now my blood is boiling from all the little comments constantly. It's like a take two steps forward and one step back with feeling comfortable asking her for help or even being around her.

    Is it going to be like this forever? DH and I have been together for 12 years and I always got along really well with my IL's up until I got pregnant. I don't want to constantly be annoyed or feel uneasy around them!
    Me: 31 DH: 34
    Together Since 5/07, Married 5/13
    TTC Since 8/15
    3 Cycles Clomid/Ovidrel/TI-11/16, 12/16, 1/17-All Failed
    Switched RE's 1/17
    4 IUIs-2/17 through 6/17-All Failed
    ER-8/30/17-25 Eggs Retrieved=7 PGS Normal Embyros
    FET#1 of 1 Embryo-10/3/17-Chemical
    FET#2 of 2 Embryos-11/16/17-Failed
    FET#3 of 1 Embryo-12/22/17-BFP!
    Carter Wright arrived 9/5/18
  • @sarzee2 - sorry you’re feeling like that! It’s all random comments but when they add up it just gets annoying. My IL’s are like that as well and I also got along with them prior to getting pregnant, then the weird random comments started and...I can’t stand them anymore hahaha MIL will say oh well that’s changed a lot since DH was a baby...no not really, my mother did that/this with her kids. They are also big smokers. Luckily for me they don’t live close but I can totally related. It’s hard because our mama bear instinct are on high alert - I toned down once he was one haha
    Me: 35 DH: 34 - Married 10.2015 ❤️
    DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4
    TTC #1 07.2015
    03.2016 - BFP - MC 5w4d
    09.2016 - Started testing with RE & IF/Endo Diet
    10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
    11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.13.2017 - It's a BOY!
    TTC #2 05.2019
    05.2019 - IUD for removed (used & worked for pain mgmt)
    06.2019 & 07.2019 - Natural Cycles with Monitoring - BFN
    08.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = Chemical Pregnancy/Miscarriage
    09.2019 - IUI w/Injections #2 = TWW

           
    sarzee2
  • @sarzee2 in law drama is the worst! My MIl and I have never had a great relationship as she is very passive/aggressive and makes inappropriate comments all the time that rub me the wrong way. It’s such a fine line...I try to not let her get to me but dang, some of the stuff just gets under my skin! (She made a comment about Abigail wearing a headband and she hopes we don’t leave it on her all day. So what if we do?!) 
    sarzee2
  • Ugh thanks guys, it's not like it's anything bad, just all the little comments adding up! When I was pregnant it was like "don't pick that up, don't open windows, don't take stairs during your commute" and I know it was just excitement/concern for their grandchild, but my god I'm a grown ass woman! And a HUGE part of it is that we live in the same brownstone. We keep our stroller downstairs in their apartment so unless I know for a fact that MIL is out (she's retired) I get anxious even bringing Carter down for a walk cause then it turns into a 10 minute "hiiiiii little man! oh hiiiiiii! how are you todayyyyyyy grandma loves youuuuuuuuu" in this high pitched baby talk voice. And then when I put him in the stroller she rocks the whole thing and like moan/sings rock a bye baby or makes this chicken clucking noise. I really don't know how much longer I can hold it together before I just snap!
    Me: 31 DH: 34
    Together Since 5/07, Married 5/13
    TTC Since 8/15
    3 Cycles Clomid/Ovidrel/TI-11/16, 12/16, 1/17-All Failed
    Switched RE's 1/17
    4 IUIs-2/17 through 6/17-All Failed
    ER-8/30/17-25 Eggs Retrieved=7 PGS Normal Embyros
    FET#1 of 1 Embryo-10/3/17-Chemical
    FET#2 of 2 Embryos-11/16/17-Failed
    FET#3 of 1 Embryo-12/22/17-BFP!
    Carter Wright arrived 9/5/18
  • @sarzee2 I'm the same way right now. Used to get along really well and now struggling with the dumb comments. Luckily, DH gets frustrated with them too. I try to focus on the important things. Like the water comments, as long as they know not to give it to her, i wouldn't focus on the why. It's the only thing that gets me through some days. It's getting better being around them, but it's limited and structured. 
  • @sarzee2 oh man, IL's can be such a pain... I feel for ya!  I really haven't ever had a great relationship with mine; we take a few steps forward and then like a million back.  We didn't tell them I was pregnant til 20 weeks to avoid the comments as long as we could.  Fortunately, they moved back to Savannah last summer so they haven't been local since I was pregnant or she was born and we've only seen them once.  If only they could function like semi-normal people...sigh






  • @sarzee2 ugh it’s hard. We were also the same, got along awesome till my daughter. They’d question car seats, our routine, they’ve literally pushed what high school she’ll go to. Bottles, food, one time my daughter was screaming and I found her noise maker, cord etc IN her crib with her and they thought I was nuts for being mad. It took my daughter turning maybe 2 and being able to speak up for herself haha, and my mama bear instinct also toned down a little. I think after awhile you stop caring and do what works for you, I just don’t care anymore. It also helped that their friends had grandkids, and my BIL had a baby - all those people following the same “crazy” rules as us made them stop questioning us.

    I was worried it’d start again with Graham but for whatever reason we’re all way toned down. They did annoy me with pushing bottles on him when he was newborn, but I was pretty set on that (I’m fine with bottles but let me establish nursing first) and then they listened to us and respect us. So it’s hard but it seemed to get better, ha. Hang in there!
  • @JWatt5 I'm so sorry to hear you were having such trouble...but it sounds like you have a great plan in place and a good boss. I hope the extra time at home helps. 
    @sarzee2 ILs can be such a struggle. Everyone has some idea of how you should raise your child...but you will always know what's best. Nod and smile their comments away. 
    @byrneme It's ok to be sad. Be gentle on yourself and your decision. 

    How is everyone dealing with the walking/falling? Eli has busted his lip 2x in 2 days. So hard to see my little man in pain. I need to find some of those kiddie ice packs. We gave him a popsicle last night but he doesn't get much sugar so he wasn't sure what to think.
    *TW below*
    Me: 40 DH: 38
    TTC since November 2012
    BFP IUI Cycle 2 Dec 2016
    Baby Boy Due Sept 12 2017
    Elias (Eli) born 9/2/17 at 7:07pm weight 8lbs 10oz and 20.5 inches long!!


  • @latershrader We have an ice pack on hand, but haven't needed it yet. Most of the time, when she falls she catches herself now. She still hits her head in things, but not enough to need an ice pack.
  • @latershrader @persnickity Ohhh boy the falling. Victoria has been doing pretty well, she's learned that when she feels herself falling that if she sticks her butt out she'll fall on her diapered bottom. Chase is always leaning forward, always, so he's conked himself three or four times at this point. He hasn't busted his lip but he's ended up with a bump or two and one bruise on his forehead. DH freaks out and wants to put padding around anything he can damage himself on. Poor dear I've told him that they are going to hurt themselves trying to learn this walking business.
  • @jwatt5 I’m so happy your boss was onboard with making some changes. Be gentle with yourself andhopefully in time it will get easier. 

    @sarzee2 oh girl do I feel your pain. My MIL and SIL have situation have also been a delicate battle. They live a couple miles away (which in my option is too close) but I can’t imagine the same building!  I think anything you c an do to set up boundaries and add structured times to the visit is worth the battle.

    Me:38 DW:33 
    TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses/Child Mentioned 
    Dx: My wife has no sperm  :D and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look
    2016

     * April IUI#1 - BFN
     * June IUI#2 - BFN
     * July IUI#3 - CP  :'(
     * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts.  Fresh Transfer 1  - CP  :'(
     * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP  :'(
    2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
     * April/May IVF#2:  9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts!  Sent for testing - 2PGS Normals (0 remaining)
     * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal!
     * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!!
    2018 DD born 8/20/18
    2019 5PGS frosties ( 4 remaining)
      * September FET#3 (1PGS normal) - Beta#1: 139.7  Beta#2: 322.6

  • @latershrader not quite walking solo but Graham has 5 bruises on his face. He is a klutz. We baby proof but within reason, I also think he needs to learn- I won’t leave a spot he’ll need stitches if he falls but hopefully he figures this out, ha. Only tip is a small medical kit in your diaper bag. I’ve used countless band aids from that, helped way too many friends who needed to be bandaged before stitches (I’m shocked that hasn’t been us yet), and some cream for bee stings. Im so glad I have that, I keep one in my purse and one in my car. I do keep ice packs at home, the ones you crinkle up and they get cold, but usually some “magic lotion” (hand cream) and a kiss does the trick for both kids.
    Hopeful_mom
  • And I spoke too soon, g just pulled full body weight on the dishwasher and opened it and crawled in. Upping our baby proofing, geez!!
    2MomsHopingHopeful_momBusinessWife
  • @Polythene Pam haha! That's hilarious and scary at the same time that he crawled in the dishwasher. And I love the idea of magic lotion.
  • Seriously haha. He was on the door poking his head in, I was just watching like really?? We’ll need the backpack leash for this one for sure haha, he’s making up for my daughter being so cautious ;) the Christmas tree will be interesting this year
    BusinessWife
  • @PolythenePam
    How do you get over the nerves of baby hurting herself? Anne wants to do everything -- sit up, roll, you name it. She's so wobbly on the sitting still though that I'm terrified to let her practice sitting up on her own because I worry she might tumble and hurt her head. I guess I'm just being overprotective :expressionless:

    Our fertility clinic announced a Halloween bash for all of their babies (so they can take marketing photos, of course!). We're not going to be around then, but I'm planning on dressing her up in her costume and doing a quick visit next week to say hi to everyone. I did that back in June but she's grown so much since then! It's funny; even though I don't go there now, I feel like they are part of my extended family. (It's a small clinic so I got to know everyone there.)
    ~~ Our Story in Spoiler! TW loss/child~~
    Fall 2012 -- started TTC
    Summer 2015 - no BFP yet, labs normal, referred to RE
    Fall 2015 - Summer 2016 - Further testing all normal. 3 IUI's -- BFN. Recommended move to IVF. Planned cycle for fall 2016.
    September 2016 - Surprise natural BFP. MMC @ 8 weeks. RE expressed confidence that we just needed the 'right' embryo.
    Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 -- Break from TTC
    June 2017 - Started IVF; egg retrieval for freeze all cycle. 9 mature eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized. 2 4BB embies on ice.
    August 2017 - FET transfer both embies. BFP.  Twin pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound. EDD 4/28/18
    September 2017 - Twin B stopped developing; Twin A doing perfectly! Graduated from RE @ 10 weeks
    March 2018 - Baby Girl born via C/S due to pre-eclampsia -- strong and healthy!


    2MomsHoping
  • @byrneme I don’t think I can count one all my hands and toes the number of conversations it took for us to go back in for ivf#2. Most of them were pretty casual dare to dream type conversations until one day they turned into ok let’s give it another whirl. I know with age the pressure builds but if you keep talking about it you may become more firm in that choice or drop some fear and change your mind.  Either way it can help to processes such a big decision.  

    Talked to DW about the ear thing. Went really well. She really didn’t want to get it fixed either but is seriously worried about bullying and just wants to protect her. (DW had some really bad elementary years) so the conversation morphed into preschools and we looked up some just for fun. Many of the private preschools around here will start as early as 16-24mo?  That just seems insane to me. Is that for real? I always thought it started at 3?
    Me:38 DW:33 
    TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses/Child Mentioned 
    Dx: My wife has no sperm  :D and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look
    2016

     * April IUI#1 - BFN
     * June IUI#2 - BFN
     * July IUI#3 - CP  :'(
     * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts.  Fresh Transfer 1  - CP  :'(
     * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP  :'(
    2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
     * April/May IVF#2:  9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts!  Sent for testing - 2PGS Normals (0 remaining)
     * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal!
     * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!!
    2018 DD born 8/20/18
    2019 5PGS frosties ( 4 remaining)
      * September FET#3 (1PGS normal) - Beta#1: 139.7  Beta#2: 322.6

    BusinessWife
  • @mbradfo2 I guess for me, I saw how resilient my kids were. That and working in daycare for years. If you don’t react, often the kids don’t either, they fall and just move on. I’m there for a hug and comfort but usually they move on. My daughter is onto big kid stuff (bike with training wheels, jungle gym) and honestly yes I’m terrified but it’s also really cool to see how proud they are when they accomplish something :) for now, just put a pillow behind her, baby proof to cover sharp corners, and she’ll be great! <3

    @2MomsHoping my hubby is the same, particularly with Graham, doesn’t want to give him reasons to get made fun of. (My daughter has proven to go to the beat of her own drum and shit less haha). But anyway our preschool offers class for 2 year olds, we didn’t start till my daughter was going into 3k though. And with an August bday we delayed so she was the oldest and she was actually 4. It all evens out, she’s right with her peers if not ahead with her age. I figure they’re only kids once so we opt on any opportunity to let them play and stay little for longer :)
    2MomsHoping
  • Hi all,

    Welcome @BusinessWife so glad to see you again!  I missed you too! 😁. Did you ever hear from @sarcasticowl again?  She disappeared....I guess that just happens.  Sounds like you are doing great breastfeeding way to go mama!

    @2MomsHoping omg sorry about your boob and so glad they were able to fix it even if with a needle....jeeze!  Lucy is so pretty I love her coloring and dark hair.... Her ear is fine glad your wife agrees.  Man that MIL need to STFU.

    We are doing ok here, my post partum depression/anxiety has gotten worse.  I think it is actually more anxiety than depression. My husband and I had the worst fight ever I told him F you even! It was horrible and like I was possessed. We pulled it together though and he forgave me.  I am taking my Ativan more now I just have to or our relationship is going to go down the tubes. So that means I have to dump the next two breast milk pumps after I take it and it sucks.  So having to give William some formula tomorrow after weeks of only BM. I am going to probably do an extra middle of the night pump tho and see if I can catch up.  But it is a slippery slope to be more hard on myself after taking the Ativan bc it just causes more anxiety to pump extra....sigh.... Formula is fine and I wish I could get that through my brain.  Speaking of my brain the post partum just feels like I am being attacked by negative thoughts. It is so awful but I am so helpful the Ativan stops it.  I had a huge win today. I took my medicine and my husband and I were able to take William to the doctor in the cold and rain together with no fights.  I am so relieved. I could feel myself anxious already at 8am before a 1:30pm appointment....so glad I took the meds. 


    In other news William has a diaper rash. He got it really bad when we tried honest diapers.  They don't have gel in them and so the moisture just sits.  It looks like his skin is peeling off.  We started using a hair dryer and diaper cream on him and switched back to Pampers pure and water wipes only and it cleared up.  Then there is just a little bit that came back.  So the doctor perscribed some cream to combat the acidity.  We already tried lotramin and he said it isn't fungal.  He also wants me to experiment with milk free formula to see if it is a milk allergy making extra acidic poops. He suggested I might have to cut out dairy in my diet.   Well I'm just going to try the cream and hopefully that works and we can just move on. It really isn't bad and I don't think I want to get into all that. Well just see what happens and if it can clear up and be resolved then if it comes back we can get into it more.  








    BusinessWife
  • @hottietoddy my LO got a rash out of no where and it still hasn’t gone away.  We just got a cream from the dr too...her poop makes it worse for sure I just hate it! She doesn’t seem like she’s in much pain though so that’s most important!
    History of TTC in spoiler box
    TTC since 2014
    Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
    7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN 
    IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle :( RE thought I would get at least 10.
    IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
    IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F,  3DT)-BFP  with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks  :'( 
    IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP  (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal  :'( 
    IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! :)
    IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! :)
    IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!

  • Holy crap, I go here now. Here's some background, and be advised there are a lot of TWs. 

    I have endo and PCOS, it took 3 years, a few losses, and several different rounds of treatment, before we realized we would need to go to IVF. Before doing that, we decided to take a treatment break and focus on us for a bit before starting up the process. Shockingly, I got pg with my son. I ended up getting Cholestatsis of Pregnancy (ICP) and he was delivered via c section at 35 weeks. We started TFAS when ds was around 18 months. I ended up losing 2 more sweet babies before our next babe stuck, again, right before we were getting ready to go see my RE again. I was dx'd with ICP again at 27 weeks. 
    I had my second son yesterday via RCS at 36 weeks. ** Warning traumatic birth** 
    He presented transverse back down when doc got me open. He flipped in just 4 days. Because of this, the Dr had to reach inside of me and turn him breech. It was not fun. He pulled my son out by his feet. Baby aspirated fluid and was transferred to a different hospital to NICU. He is in respiratory distress. I'm hoping to get released tomorrow, as I've only seem him twice since birth and never held him. He's had a very rough 24 hours of life. He's a fighter and the nurses all comment on how fiesty he is. I'm dying to see him because being away from him is pure torture and it's killing me. I know he needs me. 
    BusinessWife
  • @wildrainbow I’m so sorry you’ve been seperated from your sweet baby! I had a nicu baby and that was hard enough with her being just down the hall, I can’t even imagine not even being in the same hospital. Fingers crossed you get released soon and his stay in the nicu is very short. 
    wildrainbowBusinessWife
  • @hottietoddy Eli had a horrible diaper rash a few weeks ago. We had a few different diaper creams but the only one that worked was Aquaphor. I love that stuff. 

    Welcome @wildrainbow! I'm so sorry you haven't been able to hold your little guy. That must be agony. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you get to him very soon and that he breaks out of the NICU soon!
    *TW below*
    Me: 40 DH: 38
    TTC since November 2012
    BFP IUI Cycle 2 Dec 2016
    Baby Boy Due Sept 12 2017
    Elias (Eli) born 9/2/17 at 7:07pm weight 8lbs 10oz and 20.5 inches long!!


    wildrainbowBusinessWife
  • mbradfo2mbradfo2
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited October 2018
    @wildrainbow
    Welcome and I hope you get discharged quick so you can go watch over your baby and cuddle him! I don't have any personal NICU experience (other than a childhood of visiting NICU's with my dad when he did rounds) but I know NICU nurses tend to be very awesome and attentive to your needs to bond with baby. I can't imagine how you feel though -- I got upset having to let the nurses watch my baby overnight (I was on magnesium drip for pre-E and bed bound) and your guy is in a totally different hospital! Hopefully he'll be out of there in a flash and you can look forward to sleepless nights at home :smile:

    @hottietoddy
    I gave Anne formula mostly because I wanted to be able to take meds if needed -- I already have a mild mood disorder and I was afraid that postpartum would push me over the top. You're doing awesome just being able to push through this time with BF! Don't beat yourself up -- you need to be happy and healthy to give your baby your best and if that means taking medicine, that's what you do. Happy mom is best; try not to stress too much about needing to supplement. This time will pass, I promise. 

    We were given nystatin for diaper rash by our doctor but I never really ended up using it much. I change her every 2-3 hours and that seems to keep the moisture that causes the rash at bay. Aquaphor is very good though! Anne's skin is very sensitive so she's prone to getting little red areas of irritation from clothes or her diaper and we use aquaphor to clear those up quickly. 
    ~~ Our Story in Spoiler! TW loss/child~~
    Fall 2012 -- started TTC
    Summer 2015 - no BFP yet, labs normal, referred to RE
    Fall 2015 - Summer 2016 - Further testing all normal. 3 IUI's -- BFN. Recommended move to IVF. Planned cycle for fall 2016.
    September 2016 - Surprise natural BFP. MMC @ 8 weeks. RE expressed confidence that we just needed the 'right' embryo.
    Fall 2016 - Spring 2017 -- Break from TTC
    June 2017 - Started IVF; egg retrieval for freeze all cycle. 9 mature eggs retrieved, 5 fertilized. 2 4BB embies on ice.
    August 2017 - FET transfer both embies. BFP.  Twin pregnancy confirmed by ultrasound. EDD 4/28/18
    September 2017 - Twin B stopped developing; Twin A doing perfectly! Graduated from RE @ 10 weeks
    March 2018 - Baby Girl born via C/S due to pre-eclampsia -- strong and healthy!


    wildrainbowBusinessWife
  • @hottietoddy - I'm there with you on the anxiety - know you aren't alone. We had a few of those moments where I would blow up in the early days and mean things would be said but for me, the anxiety really reared its ugly head in the last month or so...I hope the meds help you cope. I just started on some myself this week and pray it works - defiantly knowing I'm doing something about has helped me remember/held off some of the irrational fights that were occurring even last week. Breastfeeding/formula feeding/just feeding my son was one of the THE most stressful things ever & the only part I didn't enjoy with having my son. It does get better - the fog and pressure will ease up - its all so new. 

    @wildrainbow - I hope you are reunited soon. That's so tough - hand in there!
    Me: 35 DH: 34 - Married 10.2015 ❤️
    DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4
    TTC #1 07.2015
    03.2016 - BFP - MC 5w4d
    09.2016 - Started testing with RE & IF/Endo Diet
    10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
    11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.13.2017 - It's a BOY!
    TTC #2 05.2019
    05.2019 - IUD for removed (used & worked for pain mgmt)
    06.2019 & 07.2019 - Natural Cycles with Monitoring - BFN
    08.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = Chemical Pregnancy/Miscarriage
    09.2019 - IUI w/Injections #2 = TWW

           
    wildrainbow
  • Congrats @wildrainbow and welcome!! You’ve had some journey on getting here! Hoping ur released soon and reunited with ur LO soon!! Hoping his stay in the nicu is very short!!
    History of TTC in spoiler box
    TTC since 2014
    Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
    7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN 
    IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle :( RE thought I would get at least 10.
    IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
    IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F,  3DT)-BFP  with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks  :'( 
    IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP  (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal  :'( 
    IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! :)
    IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! :)
    IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!

    wildrainbowBusinessWife
  • @hottietoddy sending lots of hugs! I feel like with my anxiety/depression it can be so hard to do the right thing even though you KNOW it's the right thing. It's like self-sabotage in a way. I'm sure it's really hard to drop pumps for the sake of being able to take the meds, but in the long run just know this is the right thing and eventually it won't even matter because William will just be screaming for chicken nuggets and BF or FF won't make a lick of difference!
    Me: 31 DH: 34
    Together Since 5/07, Married 5/13
    TTC Since 8/15
    3 Cycles Clomid/Ovidrel/TI-11/16, 12/16, 1/17-All Failed
    Switched RE's 1/17
    4 IUIs-2/17 through 6/17-All Failed
    ER-8/30/17-25 Eggs Retrieved=7 PGS Normal Embyros
    FET#1 of 1 Embryo-10/3/17-Chemical
    FET#2 of 2 Embryos-11/16/17-Failed
    FET#3 of 1 Embryo-12/22/17-BFP!
    Carter Wright arrived 9/5/18
    Hopeful_mom
  • @mbradfo2 I love the idea of a holloween photo shoot your re is doing. I’ve been dying to take Lucy to visit our RE office too. 

    @hottietoddy we had issues with the honest diapers pampers pure has been good for us. We also put on diaper cream before she goes to bed or before we go out as a preventative measure because usually she is a little longer between changes in those instances. As someone who has a tough time getting over the supplementing of formula...and eventual total formula I assure you it is ok.  Your health and well being are very important. It sounds like you are still able to do a majority of feeds from breast milk so your son is getting all that wonderful nutrition and protection from you still. Supplementing doesn’t undonall that good your doing it just tops off the tank.

    @wildrainbow I wish I could reach through here and give you a hug. It breaks my heart you are separated from your baby. I hope beyond hope you are reunited tomorrow but if you are not maybe you can leave a phone/iPad with the baby and see if someone can face time with you.  Some NICUs have ones that belong to the hospital for FaceTime calls or streaming feeds. It doesn’t hurt to ask. I hope both you and your baby recover quickly and and together again soon. 
    Me:38 DW:33 
    TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses/Child Mentioned 
    Dx: My wife has no sperm  :D and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look
    2016

     * April IUI#1 - BFN
     * June IUI#2 - BFN
     * July IUI#3 - CP  :'(
     * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts.  Fresh Transfer 1  - CP  :'(
     * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP  :'(
    2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
     * April/May IVF#2:  9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts!  Sent for testing - 2PGS Normals (0 remaining)
     * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal!
     * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!!
    2018 DD born 8/20/18
    2019 5PGS frosties ( 4 remaining)
      * September FET#3 (1PGS normal) - Beta#1: 139.7  Beta#2: 322.6

    wildrainbowHopeful_mom
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