September Randoms

mmom3

I can’t believe Fall is upon us ladies.  What’s your favorite fall activities?  

DDRRT1982

I love waking up and it’s cool, but warms up to a decent temp.  We do a lot of walks.  I also love Halloween.  Not pregnant this year, so I will be definitely dressing up. 

sgrn18

I just can not wait to be outside more. It doesnt usually start to cool off til October ish but at least it wont be 1000 degrees.  

fatstagnation

Octoberfest beers
fall harvest and canning, apple cider...it's all food related!

ashtuesday

+1 to enjoying being outside more!  Fall is my favorite time to take my dog for long walks, and I'm excited to add N to the mix.  Also: sleeping with the windows open!  It's the beeeeest!

maelily15

I love not being eaten alive by mosquitoes and being around a bonfire. Halloween this year will probably be pretty low key since Luna can’t enjoy her spoils and we don’t want Lily enjoying hers too much. Lol. I’m excited for DD1’s soccer games to start in a couple weeks also. 

mccurleya

Definitely being outside more also! I can't wait to be able to take Nate outside and to the pumpkin patch and to fall festivals and the Georgia mountain fair. I just love the fall so much 

fatstagnation

Ugh DH. I swear he's lucky he's so beautiful. :P 
I get cry it out. I do. But he puts LO down just because he wants her to go to sleep not because she's ready to go to sleep. I don't think it works that way.
I should have just kept holding her myself...

ashtuesday

@fatstagnation I'm right there with you!  It is SO frustrating.

nancysimp

Hi all! Congrats @ashtuesday on pregnancy!

Quick q...I have pretty bad cramps and some back pain. No period yet. 4 days straight. Do you think this a sign of my period coming back? I breastfeed and M is eating solids. Thinking of going to the doctor. Feels like period pain. 

ashtuesday

Thank you, @nancysimp!  No intel on your cramping, but hope it gets better.

Today is N's first day at day care. Drop-off went better than expected: she didn't cry at all, and I kept it together until my husband and I were halfway to the car. Hoping for a busy day at work to keep me somewhat distracted from missing her!

DDRRT1982

Good luck today!  I hope it goes by quickly and she enjoys it.  @ashtuesday

slr1229

College football and cooler weather to play outside, but for us down in Texas that’ll be in a few more months. 

ashtuesday

I survived Nora's first day of day care!  She did so well.  The place we chose has an app that they update throughout the day and they also have video feeds that parents can access.  It really helped me breathe easier to see her happy and having fun most of the day.  She didn't nap well, which I expected since she was in a new environment.  But she's a girl who depends on sleep - she passed out for the night at 7, which is over an hour earlier than usual.  I hope she gets into a routine quickly there so we'll have more time to enjoy with her at home each night.  I'm so glad it wasn't so bad!

Side question for you day care moms: do you bathe your LOs every night?  We're on an every-other-night schedule with N, but now that she's exposed to a new environment with new germs, I'm wondering if we should change it up.  Granted, if she's exposed to them for 10 hours out of the day, what's a bath gonna do...

becausescience

Fall is my favorite season.  Pumpkin spice.  Cozy sweaters + leggings + boots.  Football.  

Back to school for me and DS's first day of daycare and DD's first day back since DS was born.  They both had a great time and I didn't even cry (like I did many times DD's first day).  

@ashtuesday We're a once a week bath family over here even with daycare (baring extra messy circumstances). So, I have no input on increasing bath frequency. My kids' skin gets so dry the less warm water the better.  DS also napped terribly today - I'm hoping he gets used to it.  DD basically didn't nap at all at daycare at his age and I'd prefer that he get some sleep.

mmom3

@ashtuesday - when my DD was in a daycare we bathed every night and skipped weekends to give her skin a rest.  I’m not sure whether or not it helped, but mentally I felt better she was “clean.” Her skin was able to handle that.  My son has really sensitive skin combined with allergies/eczema so I have to be extremely careful with his skin and he can not handle daily bathing.  As an alternative option you could rinse her with water and just not use soap if she could handle that as well.  

maelily15

@ashtuesday, Glad you guys had a good first day! For us, we didn’t increase the frequency of baths. But DD1 also attends that daycare, so if another child is sick, it’s more likely that DD1 will pick anything up and pass it to DD2. But having our home based family ran daycare center has its perks- the girls doesn’t interact with many kids who may be sick because the teacher/child ratio is so low plus our teachers know the kids so well that they can immediately tell when a child is ill and take precautions for the LOs. 

enigmaticjj

@ashtuesday, we kept a once a week bath during the baby months. Maybe you could wash hands/arms (and feet if they go barefoot) daily? I thought about doing more frequent baths more so to get the smell of other people off, but ended up not bothering. I'd rather not wash off the good bacteria all the time from all their skin as well.

I just try to think of it as working towards building a strong immune system (and testing my own).

maelily15

Oy, I just reread my comment. I’m sorry for being such a condescending TW. Sometimes I just get carried away and off target. 

ashtuesday

Lmao @maelily15, I didn't think you sounded that way at all!!  Thanks all. @enigmaticjj the whole "smells like other people" piece is tooooootally throwing me off - if I'm honest, that probably bothers me more than the potential germs!

mccurleya

@ashtuesday Nate smells like our daycare person all the time. It's weird but I've gotten use to it. We bathe him everyday for routine but no soap unless he had a massive poop or has food stuck to him 

mmom3

Yes, the smell of the sitter all this time always was hard on me as a mom. 

slr1229

Just learned my MIL is coming to visit towards end the of month.  She’s coo coo and I just try to smile and tell myself the entire time she visits “It’ll be over soon, it’ll be over soon.”  Even my DH just wants to get it over with.  Preparing myself to not get any credit for the two kiddos we have, it’ll all go to DH (the looks, the personality, etc) but I just need to not let it bother me and drink my wine haha

DDRRT1982

slr1229 said:

Just learned my MIL is coming to visit towards end the of month.  She’s coo coo and I just try to smile and tell myself the entire time she visits “It’ll be over soon, it’ll be over soon.”  Even my DH just wants to get it over with.  Preparing myself to not get any credit for the two kiddos we have, it’ll all go to DH (the looks, the personality, etc) but I just need to not let it bother me and drink my wine haha

Lol, This reminds me of our family, but my husband takes all the credit and soaks all that praise up.  It’s so annoying considering I do all the tedious work with kids.  Our daughter just got recognized by the principal for hard work and behavior and of course it was all attributed to his genetics, and not at all the environment we both provided her.  

sgrn18

Figured I'd move this over here now since we digressed from solids foods to mom issues lol! 

My nephews 3rd birthday was this weekend. My mom got SOO upset with me because I wouldn't let HER introduce MY son to family who hadnt met him yet.  I am a big girl, he is mine to show off, and I'll introduce him when I'm ready (this is my step dads family and I don't know them well at all).  My step dad takes LO from me and is showing his mom and telling her who he is (she has dementia). Every one of my stepdads sisters (theres 4) is in LOs face and he is starting to freak out and cry.  So I take him and go into a quiet room and stayed there until everyone went outside.  I was pissed. I'm so sick of people, but mainly my mom, expecting me to do whatever she wants. I think the fact that my brother, SIL, and nephew all live with her has spoiled her into thinking she has some say in how I parent. 

Is it wrong that I'm actually jealous of you guys who dont talk to your moms?  I've gone months and ever a year there once without speaking to her.  It's so much less stressful when she isnt around or involved.  

maelily15

@sgrn18, I’m sorry she adds so much stress! My MIL pulls that all the time. It’s so frustrating! I think you handled it well though.

DDRRT1982

I have issues with my mother too.  Now that I am a mom it’s really hard to process some of her behavior, because I would never do those things to my kids.  I finally drew the line when she got involved with my teenage son this past year enabling his behavior. Oh, hell to the no.  I can forgive many things, but how dare you involve yourself in me disciplining and forming healthy boundaries for him.  My biggest fear is to repeat the cycle with my daughters.  There is a history of tension between mothers and daughters on my mom’s side and I am determined to break it.  It just sucks because I think we all want that loving mother relationship and sometimes there are moms
out there that are too into themselves to be selfless enough to be a mom.  I often times get jealous of those with great mother daughter relationships, but then I remember I have the opportunity to change that with my own kids.  It will be so much more fulfill knowing I am a safe place for them.  Sorry, this turned into a dear diary.  I just don’t talk about this much.  

sgrn18

I think it's nice to get it off your chest once in a while. You're right though,  some things that my mom has done make me very confused and sad now that I'm a parent.  I couldn't imagine treating LO like that.  We've had a horrible relationship since before high school.  My mom is manipulative and somehow always makes everyone else the bad guy.  This is also why I will not let her ever have LO overnight or for any period without me present.  You never know what mood she is going to be in or what she will say and I dont need her driving a wedge between us.  She did the same thing with me and my father (he isnt great but I had a tarnished view of him way before I was able to make my own opinion). 

megpeg

The time for baby proofing has come. Declan was trying to climb my bag this morning to get to the breast pump cords and my phone charger. Then when I redirected him from that he was over trying to play with the tv plug that I am not sure how we are going to baby proof. So not ready for this. 

slr1229

I don’t even have my MILs phone number!  

Edited because it didn’t post my random question.

Going to a wedding in Napa, can anyone that’s been reco a must visit winery that isn’t $70+ for a tasting?  We like cab and Pinot.  Already have Honig on the list, need two more!

shoretobe

I feel like relationships are so different being a mom now. And my perspective on behaviors have changed. What we once brushed off - we now think “do we want the baby around that type of selfishness” (for example). My husband and I just say we’ll do it different and not put our daughter in situations like his parents have been putting us in. It sucks being in it and I’m sorry for you ladies going through it too. I guess the best part is we get to establish the relationships we want with our kids and it’s also a great comfort to read other posts and know I’m not the only one dealing with these types of things. 

On another note - any mommas in the path of Florence - I’m thinking of you, stay safe!

mccurleya

Yes, seriously, is anyone in that path?

ashtuesday

Love to all you mamas struggling with your own ❤️

Well, just survived our first stomach virus as parents (while pregnant, no less!).  It hit my husband and I at the exact same time on Monday night.  Nora slept through the worst of it and my husband was able to drive her to day care when it opened. My in laws picked her up and kept her the night - by the time she came home this morning, we were in recovery and had bleached everything in the house. Praying it skips over her!  And obviously worried about the LO in my belly, but my ob didn't seem stressed so I'm trying not to be. What an unpretty 24 hours!

DDRRT1982

Ughhh, so sorry.  I actually got two stomach viruses while pregnant with Sam and all was ok.  I hope you are feeling better and Nora doesn’t get it.

enigmaticjj

@sgrn18, I wouldn't say it's wrong to be jealous of others who don't talk to their moms. And this is coming from someone who lost their mom years ago. We all have our own unique relationships with our moms/parents/family. I read an article not too long ago that talked about how common it actually is for people to have estranged relationships with close family members (even parent/child relationships). Sometimes it starts during childhood and sometimes adulthood (young and later in life). It was some kind of study that surveyed people. Overall participants talked about the stress and/or turmoil the relationship brought to their life and it felt better for them to cut ties. Sad but true.

knutty3

My mom and I stopped speaking 7 plus years ago.  Unfortunarely, my dad got caught up in it too.  I don't get it, but I know it wasn't a healthy relationship.  I am sad that she likely won't meet my boys though.  One of the hardest parts is responding to people who ask if my mom is helping...yadda yada... I just say I don't have a close relationship, but it still hurts.  Now having kids, I can't imagine doing this to them...so yes, let's all break the cycle with our kids.  Also, now that I have kids...I just really don't understand why people hurt each other.  Life is so beautiful, precious and short.  Be strong ladies!!

fatstagnation

how much refusing the bottle is normal for teething?
We're having a really bad day here. Yesterday she had a slight fever (99 degrees, at most) at bedtime. DH thought he might have a cold a couple days ago, so I thought maybe that was it, but today she doesn't want anything in her mouth and there are lots of tears. Unusual crying for her. no fever, but she has barely had enough formula. She must be hungry, but freaks when I put the bottle near her mouth.  

ETA spelling. details..

DDRRT1982

If it continues I would call the pedi.  Since she is refusing and had a slight fever there might be something else going on.  I am overly cautious though.  I don’t really remember my kids refusing nursing or bottles through teething, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not normal for your LO.  I just worry her throat could be hurting to causing her to not want anything in her mouth. Poor baby!  I hope she is better soon.

fatstagnation

Thanks @DDRRT1982. I texted my mom at the same time I posted this and the first thing she asked was "have you tried the pacifier?" Gah, I'm an idiot! As soon as I gave it to her she calmed down and a few minutes later she fell asleep om my shoulder and I put her down for a nap. When she woke up, she drank a bottle and was much better. Probably was too tired and hungry to know what to do with herself. poor  kiddo

on a related note, I yexted DH at the same time and he NEVER RESPONDED. He came home at 5:30(4 hrs later) and was all "I came home early cause it sounded like you were having a tough day." -_-

anyway, I've been monitoring and making sure she's peeing and she seems fine now.

maelily15

@shoretobe and @mccurleya, we’re in the path. We’re currently being hit by the outer bands and my MIL lost power about 35 minutes ago. I’m hopeful that we’re far enough inland and on high enough ground that our biggest concerns will be power/water outages. Thank you for thinking of those of us in the path. Here’s hoping everyone else in the path stays safe! 

fatstagnation

@maelily15 we'll be thinking of you and your family.