STM+ Check In Survey

katy0990

First of all, I hope this thread is not step on any toes. I have noticed that our check in has become more formulaic and less conversational. It also seems like fewer people are participating in them. So, I figured I would post a survey to see how people feel about the check in and where we should go from here.

maureenmce

I have been swamped at work lately and finding it really tough to keep up with the STM check in because there are so many of us, but I have no preference for how people want to do it moving forward. I do enjoy reading everyone's nails and fails but an open conversational thread would be cool too! I just don't want to eliminate the thread altogether, but am fine with whatever everyone decides.

katy0990

I like having a place to share toddler stories and discuss pregnancy with others who have been there and done that before, too.  However, I feel like saying how far along you are and how big baby is gets kind of redundant, especially if you participate in multiple check ins each week. Plus, it’s hard to respond to everyone and keep all the info straight. I feel like a general  STM+ thread may be more engaging, but I’m down for whatever everyone else wants 

Jens_Hoes

I tend to dislike the “formalized threads” as opposed to the conversational ones

i vote we keep the nail and fail and GTKY and then a dear diary for being a stm+ and pregnant 

PensiveCrayon

I want to keep it! But I don’t participate much because I haaaate mobile bumping and can’t get on my computer as much during the day. But I’ll make more of an effort. I like @Jens_Hoes’ idea for how to approach it. 

hoosiermama-2

I do like the thread - but yes, there are quite a few of us and often by the time I see it (is there a consistent day?? I can't recall) i feel like it's usually pretty long. Then I feel bad just posting my update without replying to every other post.  

This BMB is (feels) so much more active than my last one did by this point in our pregnancies. It's overwhelming for me to keep up with all the threads... so I like to stick to ours and the PGAL ones, even if I'm not always posting in them. 

But enough about me.  

PensiveCrayon

I should add that it's a lot easier for me to be interactive on Facebook, just because of the format of replying to individual comments, plus the app doesn't suck balls I wish we were there already!!

maureenmce

hoosiermama-2 said:

I do like the thread - but yes, there are quite a few of us and often by the time I see it (is there a consistent day?? I can't recall) i feel like it's usually pretty long. Then I feel bad just posting my update without replying to every other post.  

This is exactly my problem! I have such a hard time letting go of the wanting to reply to everyone thing, but I think it's just not very realistic when the thread is so long. No matter what form the check in takes moving forward, I think it's probably good to make it clear there's no pressure to write a personalized reply to every single person - and treat it more like the randoms thread or symptoms thread where you don't feel obligated to reply unless something sparks a connection/conversation. There are a lot of us STMs and we're all busy, I don't think anyone would take it personally!

Katzalia

I agree on preferring the more conversational threads. I dgaf what size fruit our babies are this week, but it’s nice to hear the nails/fails of parenting + pregs, and I really enjoy some of the gtky responses. 

Eta: I agree there with @maureenmce  on no pressure to respond to everyone with tagging personalized comments. That kind of obligation takes away from feeling like it’s positive supportive place to connect. 

katy0990

I agree that it is not necessary to reply to everyone. I just feel like the standard questions are not all that engaging. I don’t think anyone else really cares that I’m 22 weeks and 2 days along, but I love hearing the cute/funny stories about others’ children. Maybe we should just do nails/fails and general kiddo sharing? I feel like that may be quicker to catch up and engage with.

snugglyduckling25

I like Jens_hoes idea. I also feel overwhelmed if I get to the check in late in the day or the following day. I hate replying to longer check ins on my phone, which is what I’m usually using, so it usually is later before I can respond on a computer. 

runrinserepeat

PensiveCrayon said:

I should add that it's a lot easier for me to be interactive on Facebook, just because of the format of replying to individual comments, plus the app doesn't suck balls I wish we were there already!!

Yesssss, this. 

runrinserepeat

 One of the things that holds me back is I feel so far removed from the toddler posts. I don’t remember how it was, don’t have good advice to offer, can’t really commiserate because my kids are out of that stage. I want to participate but I have nothing to say about potty training or crib transitions or whatever. 

I do agree more conversational would help. Half the questions aren’t really that interesting (sorry, even *I* don’t care how far along I am or how big my fetus is). 

AdorkablePixie

I agree to get rid of the standard questions, especially since we answer them elsewhere. I like @Jens_Hoes idea. 

snugglyduckling25

@runrinserepeat oh yes, so many things I feel like a FTM on because it’s been so long since I was going through those things. I’m going to need advice once this baby is here! 

CecilB93

I agree with a lot of what's been said. I'm just so busy sometimes that when I'm able to check in, all I can do is post my answers and run. I've stopped trying to respond to every single person, I'd rather pick a couple that I sincerely have something to say to rather than try to think of something pointless just to make sure no one is left out. Sometimes I just don't have a response to anything people have posted, sorry not sorry. 

I do like having a STM+ thread, but agree that I don't care about a lot of the questions being asked. 

LLynde5

I II seem to always read this thread but rarely respond or participate.  I think I would be more inclined if it was the nail and fail and one gtky.  

kristah2

I agree with others.
-I really like the nails and  fails and GTKY
-I think it should be clear there is no pressure to respond to everyone. I read everyone's and respond only when I think I have something to contribute (especially if they have a question etc.) 
-I think a more general thread is a good idea because I have questions about DS that I might have come up mid week and I feel weird jumping back in since it's not as much a convo as it is a check in.

My suggestion would be a bi-weekly STM thread. It would have nails/fails from last 2 weeks and a GTKY and then be open for anything and everything STM/pregnancy that might come up within 2 weeks.
Hopefully we could all make an effort to keep it active during that time. 

rosebud332

I agree some of the base questions are redundant when you’re answering them in 3 different threads a week. I also like @Jens_Hoes idea because I like the nails and fails and gtky (maybe we can try to make these more stm themed? But I know they are hard to think of sometimes. I’ve been stealing from other bmb months haha). And hopefully the rest can be more conversational. Also @runrinserepeat I’d love to hear about your older kiddos even though I’m not at that stage yet! 

texas_t

@runrinserepeat Yes! Tell us all the stories about your kiddos so when our kids get to that stage, we'll know what's normal, lol!

clbness

@runrinserepeat @snugglyduckling25 I very much appreciate stories of the older kiddos!  I like hearing about their sporting events and your busy schedules, backwards PB&J's and all the sweet things they say about their next little sibling.  My kid doesn't get it yet!

I also like the gtky, nails and fails and conversational idea.  I am often too busy to fill out all the questions and reply to everyone (which is why I haven't done a PGAL or STM this week), but I still try to read and love tit everyones responses.  Because I care about you guys (and your littles), and shit. 

mommythlegend

Can we start a STM check-in for this week? I have a question!