Trying to Get Pregnant
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TTCAL W/O 8/27

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Re: TTCAL W/O 8/27

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    @denma2015 Very well said. I will keep your words in mind. Channeling love and positivity over fear and heartache. Your words made me think of a quote I posted here before about how grief is really just love. I think about that often. It helps me rationalize why I am hurting so much. I am grieving because I loved and still love so much. And to have had the opportunity to love is pretty great. 
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    @prpl11butterfly Im so glad you got ahold of someone that seems very caring and supportive, I hope she is just what you need. Take as many breaks as you need, we’ll be here when you’re back. And for your question, thanks for asking, I’m not fully in the swing of things until next week so we shall see. I realized Sunday upon getting full information things are going to be different than I thought. I’m going to have to work every Mon/Fri because it turns out I’m going to have an obligation every Thursday morning. So it’s going to practically going to be a full time job except I Hurd Tu/W/Th I’m free after 1pm. It’ll be an adjustment but honestly getting back to work has been good for my mental health.
    Me: 35 DH: 47

    HX
    DSS: 20
    DSD: 17
    DS: 4(Nov'14)
    MMC:8/17
    MMC: 1/18
    BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19

    Tickers
    BabyGaga
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker


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    I'm sorry @nmbrcrnchr1.  Those unexpected triggers are the worst :( 
    Me: 35  H: 35
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
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    Anyone totally on edge about their prenatal vitamins? After a loss with no explanation, its hard not to question everything... I know it sounds ridiculous but I am ON EDGE about being on a prenatal vitamin. I brought it up to my doc and she casually dismissed it and said the science is strong. Of course that didn't cause my miscarriages but I still haven't talked myself into taking it again.
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    @nomangos23 I actually the opposite. I was so sporadic with my vitamins with both my losses I'm trying to be super religious about it this time

    Me: 35 DH: 47

    HX
    DSS: 20
    DSD: 17
    DS: 4(Nov'14)
    MMC:8/17
    MMC: 1/18
    BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19

    Tickers
    BabyGaga
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker


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    @nomangos23 Completely understandable. I'm the opposite. I have been getting so angry at my husband for not taking a daily vitamin. He insists it doesn't matter, but it is making me super anxious. Like, but but what if??
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    @nomangos23 I’m opposite with prenatals. During my twin pregnancy that ended in loss. I didn’t take them as religiously. Now I’m all about making sure I take all three everyday. But I totally see your reasoning. It’s like a science equation figuring out the perfect combination of what might put you at ease. If anything I would just make sure to at the very least keep taking folic acid.
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    @nomangos23 I'm 100% the same way about prenatal vitamins. I've been having a hard time taking them after my third loss. Kind of feeling like what is the point? And somehow they make me angry as well. I have taken them religiously for a year. Now it just seems like taking them is such a waste. 
    TW
    Me: 33 DH: 32
    DS:  March 2014
    DD: May 2015
    BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
    BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
    BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
    BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN  <3 

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
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    I need to get back on the PNV train for sure. Anyone have a favorite? Do you find you're spending more on a "higher quality" vitamin after loss? 
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    @nomangos23
    I bought a more expensive one this time around. The brand is garden of life vitamin code. I researched a lot of vitamins and absorbance rates, etc after my losses. This one isn't backed by the USP. But I like that you have to take three a day at different times (which I know some would find annoying). Plus these ones don't make me feel sick. 
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    @kindbytealikat
    Ugh I am sorry. This is why I both love and hate those FB memories when they pop up. I am curious as to what kind of stone you got to remember your loss though? I bet it is beautiful. I hope you physically and mentally feel better this next week. 
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    Do any of you feel like some people just don't get it? To the point where they almost make YOU feel bad about your losses and how it affects them rather than having empathy. I am getting to the point where I just don't have time for others that don't even try to understand the horrible year I have had (maybe that sounds slightly selfish. But I remind myself that many people haven't had to have 2 funerals for their children). It is like emotional ping pong dealing with people in my life.

    I will admit, before my losses, it would have been hard for me to connect on a emotional level with others who have had a hard time in life (not just losses specifically). I am trying SO hard to give people grace in my life, but a part of me just wants to cut ties completely with those who can't think beyond themselves and their own happy bubble. 

    Any suggestions on dealing with this or how you handle people who clearly don't get it? IE: Why you can't congratulate them on their pregnancy. Why you avoid social situations. Why it sucks so fricken much to be expected to smash your pain deep down and smile for someone else. 
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    @meatballs37 since I can't figure out how to resize I'll put it in spoiler. Green stone is the birthstone it now also had a red one. 

    No automatic alt text available


    Me: 35 DH: 47

    HX
    DSS: 20
    DSD: 17
    DS: 4(Nov'14)
    MMC:8/17
    MMC: 1/18
    BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19

    Tickers
    BabyGaga
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker


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    @kindbytealikat
    That IS really pretty. I especially love the quote.

    I am thinking of getting an ornament with a similar saying on it for our losses this year. We plan on doing a new ornament every year for them. But I also really like your necklace. 
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    @meatballs37 yes and yes.  Even my own husband doesn’t seem to get it, if I’m being honest.  Like when we went to a meet the baby party a few weekends ago and he was surprised I really didn’t want to go until I was like “uh, remember we were going to have a baby in July??”   I wish I had advice for how to make people understand but I think the reality is that you can’t understand until you’ve lived it.   
    Me: 35  H: 35
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
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    I noticed a couple days ago that our neighbor was pregnant and I had a total meltdown to my husband.   It’s not just any neighbor- she has two kids already that she screams at all the time and she’s smoking a cigarette every time I see her.   It’s unbelievable how fucking unfair this shit is.  
    Me: 35  H: 35
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
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    Yup I'm right there with ya Coco. My 16 yr old cousin is pregnant and due right after my due date. Not only is she 16, but she is also into drugs and dropped out of school. She also doesn't have a license because she was caught joy riding too many times. The worst part is that we are pretty sure she purposely got pregnant. Ya know, because babies are like fashion accessories. Ugh. 

    I said I was gonna be positive this week... Almost made it  :joy:
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