Pregnant after a Loss

Overcoming Anxiety During Pregnancy After Loss

Hello Mamas!
So I am a FTM to be. I am currently 14 weeks along and all of my doctors appointments/ ultrasounds have gone really really well. I miscarried twice since this passed October, one ended in a D&C in November and one with the pill in February. Both times the baby measured at 6 weeks and change but I never found out until week 7-10. 
This pregnancy is going so well. It’s the first time I’ve had any pregnancy symptoms and all of my doctors are really happy. Over the last couple of days I’ve found myself worrying for no apparent reason. I’m not cramping or bleeding. I think I’m struggling because I don’t really have any symptoms anymore- but in my second trimester, they should be getting less frequent. 
For those of you celebrating a pregnancy after loss, how do you keep the anxiety at bay? I usually lean on my faith, but the last couple days I’ve just had this feeling...

Re: Overcoming Anxiety During Pregnancy After Loss

  • @mamaescalona I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious. Have you looked into one of those home dopplers?  I resisted getting one because I was scared I would spiral if I had trouble finding a heartbeat, but then a particularly bad day of anxiety made me order one (same day delivery!). I found it really easy to find a heartbeat and it was the easiest way to calm myself down if I was having a panic attack. I also had a MMC and I always had the feeling "I know the baby was fine... Four days ago at my last US." The doppler gave me a way to know the baby was okay each and every day!

    Also: you are SO CLOSE to feeling that baby kick and swim around. I can't describe how reassuring that feeling was to me.  Hang in there, mama. Sending you good thoughts and lots of sticky baby dust.
  • @ashtuesday Thank you for your response! I’m dying to feel movement and to have a bump! My symptoms really are easing up with the second trimester but I don’t look pregnant so I just feel like normal old me haha. 
    But so far I’ve been pretty good about being positive. The Doppler may be a good idea. It would be nice to have the reassurance on the tough days!
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  • jenneebeesjenneebees member
    edited August 2018
    I’m right there with you. A friend of mine said whatever is going to happen is going to happen. You can’t stop it so try to enjoy and relax. When I start to get overwhelmed I tell myself this. It seems to help most of the time. 
    I had a mc at 10 weeks in February and I am now 12 1/2. I start to tell people and instantly regret it instead of being able to go with it. 
    Wishing the best for you. 
  • I'm right there with you. I delivered my stillborn baby Sept 2017. I'm about 6 weeks pregnant now and trying to fight my anxiety and fears. I'm also trying to decide if I should change my obgyn.  :/
  • @DCharlotin I personally had to change doctors after my MMC - I couldn't be okay going into the same office again, the sense memory was too much.
  • I feel you 100%. I had an early miscarriage earlier this year and am now 14 wks. Even though the 1st trimester symptoms sucked, they were always about the same, day in and day out which was reassuring. Now I am feeling better but not showing yet. Just bloated (oh, so bloated). I try to remind myself that I do still have symptoms (sore boobs and a little indigestion/nausea in the morning sometimes) and I can definitely feel a hardening in my tummy. For me, the Doppler seems like a slippery slope and I want to try my best to calm myself without relying on something that could malfunction (or user error) and then cause a much bigger freak out. I have been terrible about doing it consistently, but find that meditation really helps when I do it. Reminding myself that changes are happening daily and that someday soon I will have more of a bump helps a little.

    But really I don't know the answer. It's a hard spot. I am terrified to tell people about the pregnancy in case something goes wrong, and have only told family and one or two friends so far. I think I will bite the bullet once the rest of the blood tests come back this week and tell more friends. I wish I could feel happier and more content, but man, this is terrifying. But it's terrifying because we care so much. And having a kid is only more terrifying (I can only imagine, this is my first). I've read that being a parent forces you to open up your heart to these terribly difficult feelings, so this is good practice maybe? Hang in there, friend. 
  • Hi, I am almost to 8 weeks but totally understand what you're going through. I suffered 2 miscarriages between 5 and 6 weeks. I started having symptoms in the 5th week but they disappeared in the 6th. I also got very nervous and scared that something was wrong. Fast forward to today and I'm finally feeling some things. My boobs feel like they've been impailed.. It was I think 2 and half weeks without any symptoms at all. Anyway, when I went to my Dr for an emergency hcg test and the phlebotomist had left, I had a full blown panic attack in the waiting room. Thankfully there was a very kind nurse who not only talked me down but assured me that symptoms can ebb and flow and that it doesn't mean something is wrong with the baby. As long as you aren't bleeding or cramping, I bet your fine.
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