PAIF Graduates - New Mommies - August 2018

byrneme

@mtpbadger - hang in there mama. We all have had/have those days. I'm glad DH was able to give you some relief and you have a plan for today. You've got this!

mbradfo2

@mtpbadger
Hoping today goes smoother for you! You're doing great -- I would be melting down if I had half of the stress you BF'ing ladies do

I'm glad I'm not the only one who constantly checks sleeping baby!

Outings have become a little bit more challenging now that she's getting more and more aware of her surroundings. If I dont bring along a toy (or grab one for her in Target >. >), she starts fussing even during small trips. I think the carseat stroller is just super uncomfortable too. When can you switch to the regular stroller seat?

cashewchicken

My boy slept in his crib the first month after he came home. And then we bought this oscillating bassinet for him to sleep in, so he’s been sleeping in that ever since. Unfortunately the bassinet can only be used up to six months, so we will eventually transfer him back into his crib. The crib and bassinet are both in our bedroom so we do peek in and see if he is sleeping okay throughout the night. Our original plan was to have him sleep in our room up to six months but I’m tempted to just keep him with us until a year. Hopefully we don’t turn into that Asian parents that let a kid sleep with them until he/she turns 10.

mtpbadger

A fellow Mom friend told me about a free book program (https://imaginationlibrary.com/) which sends a book a month until the child is 5! Unfortunately it’s not available near me but thought I’d pass it along!! 

Polythene Pam

@mtpbadger I googled “when does nursing get easier” with Graham, I was exhausted and resenting my hubby. I formula fed my daughter fully from 6 weeks on and that was needed for her, BFing wasn’t going to happen. But IF you want to nurse, everyone said (and it’s true for me) that it’s harder than bottles for 12 weeks or so but then it ends up being so much easier. Every journey is different but I swear it got easier! I don’t pump so if I’m gone I’m fine with anyone giving a bottle of formula, my supply seems established enough for that. Again I’ve done it both ways so both had great and hard things, but if you keep nursing it does get easier and better.

@cashewchicken haha we sneak in sleepovers with our almost 5 year old, it’s so hard when they grow too fast!! 

mtpbadger

Thanks ladies - I knew you would all understand. Today has gone better and I know there will be good and bad days with nursing. I’m lucky I’m able to pump and she’ll take a bottle so for now, we’ll do a mixture of the two until nursing is comfortable and gets easier for both of us. 

cashewchicken

I have a question for you ladies-

My boy hasn’t been eating much when I’m away the last couple of days. He drinks 2 ounces per feed on average. He used to drink 3-4 ounces before. He normally cries when he is hungry and the last couple of days he doesn't cry after feeding so I’m guessing he is not hungry. And he’s been on the same feeding cycle, about every 3 hours. The weird thing is when I nurse him, he empties out one of my breasts and that’s about 3-5 ounces. He sometimes goes for the other breast too. 

Wonder what is going on? Maybe the nipple on the bottle is too slow? Or is it because we have a ton of visitors and he is held a lot? Too much attention and just not into drinking?

persnickity

@cashewchicken It could be a few things. If he's too distracted, he might eat less. We have to into a different room or a quieter space when Mackenzie eats, because she gets too distracted. It could also be preference for nursing and you. She rejects a bottle if I'm around or will be soon. She actually won't take a bottle in the late afternoon at daycare, because she knows she can nurse soon. It could also be flow rate. If she's collapsing the nopeni or gets frustrated, try going up a nipple stage.

JWatt5

Parker moves to his room/crib at 6m on the dot. He was out growing his one in our room and was down to one feed a night (which was then gone a month later). I just didn’t have the want or need to move him (& we wanted to follow the recommendation as long as we could). 

Parker will be one in two more weeks!!

@mtpbadger - trouble breastfeeding is so hard. I still remember it vividly. Glad you’re giving yourself that break. I think if I breastfeed next time I’m going to have to really make sure my anxiety doesn’t spike - I hated not knowing how much he was getting too and in the end didn’t cope well with that so I think that was one part that made pumping appeal to me. See what they take in feels so different - but you’ll hopefully learn to trust it. It’s still super early and you guys are doing so well. 

Hopeful_mom

@mtpbadger you're doing great!! BF is so hard give urself a break!! Pumping is torture and you've been killing it!! Glad u gave urself a night.

im amazed everyone has sleeping babies in cribs or bassinets...I'm lucky if she sleeps in the swing.  She still needs me to sleep!

her gas is outta control and I blame myself as I had split pea soup.  I keep trying to think what else caused it.  I feel terrible! Thank GD for gas relief drops.  What else does everyone use for gas?

JWatt5

@Hopeful_mom - we used Kids 0-9 - Colic Drops (homeopathic) and they always worked. We never need to use Oval or anything like that for his tummy. We also bicycled his legs a lot - just for fun each diaper change and I would as almost play during my morning pump - put a little music on, got his little body moving after a stretch of sleep - his “poop dance”. He’s still being called “Tooty” as his nick name cause he still toots on the reg hahaha

mtpbadger

I agree with the bicycle legs or you can just hold her knees into her chest for 10-15 sec and release, that always seems to get some gas out. 

MMD1986

Brooks has been a terrible sleeper the last few nights.  He used to be so easy, we could just lay him down and he'd fall asleep.  Now when you lay him down he will flail around and roll all over the crib, or if I put him with us he'll just kick and hit me.  He used to get up just once a night to eat and then easily go back to bed, now he's up twice and takes about an hour each time to go back to sleep.  He's right around 4 months adjusted age, so maybe this is the 4 month sleep regression everyone talks about.  He never had that when he was actually 4 months, but my gosh its exhausting.

MMD1986

@Hopeful_mom we use gripe water whenever Brooks is having bad gas, tummy troubles or terrible hiccups.  It works wonders for us.

mtpbadger

@mmd1986 hopefully the sleep regression doesn’t last long! I didn’t even think of that stuff based on adjusted age. Wonderful, Abigail will be just about 4 months adjusted when I go back to work. 

@JWatt5 it really is hard to trust my body and know Abigail is getting enough when she feeds, especially after IF. I know my supply is there from pumping though so I’m trying to focus on that and just feed on demand, which I’m sure will be more frequent than the bottles. Just taking it day by day and also know if needed, I can just go back to pumping and bottle feeding. 

byrneme

@Hopeful_mom we also used gripe water and did bicycle legs. At baby yoga, the teacher taught us to do something similar to what @mtpbadger said. You push their legs to the center, hold 5 seconds, pull down and stretch five seconds, push up and left, hold five seconds, pull down and stretch 5 seconds, push up and left, hold five seconds, pull down and stretch five seconds. Sorry, it's a lot easier to show than type but it worked!

persnickity

@MMD1986 either sleep regression or leap would be my guess. That sounds like what happens during leaps for Mackenzie. She just can't get comfortable.

safire3

Hi everyone. I’m finally getting a minute to post here. My baby boy Ozi was born on 7/11. He is 4 weeks old today. I ended up getting readmitted 1 week after his birth for severe post-partum hemorrhage so my recovery has been slow. Up to Friday we had lots of help with friends and family but now it’s just me and him at home during the day. We struggle a lot with breastfeeding as well and I’ve had to supplement with formula because he just isn’t satisfied sometimes. 

My biggest issue though is he refuses to go down at all (@Hopeful_mom you are not alone). Not even for naps. I have tried swaddling, the swing chair, warming the surface he will be on before putting him down, keeping my hand/pressure on him after putting him down, white noise/music....nothing seems to work. I’ve resorted to using the sling to wear him around during the day to prepare meals and eat. I really don’t want my milk supply to go down from not eating enough. I wait for DH to get home to hold him while I do everything else but I also feel guilty that DH barley makes it trough the door after a long day before I hand off the baby to him. My MIL says I’m spoiling him and I have to just put him down and let him cry. I tried it once but I can’t listen to him scream his head off. I ended up in tears myself and still didn’t get anything done. I’m just hoping this gets better before I go back to work in October. 

Here’s a pic of my little man reminding me to not get frustrated during those sleepless nights.

Holls214

Yeah we also push the legs into the tummy for gas. He used to use gripe water but now is on Zantac liquid which is working wonders for him and his tummy. 

mtpbadger

@safire3 Ozi is adorable! There is no spoiling a baby at this age and anytime they cry at this age it’s bc there is a need of some sort (even if it’s just to be near you). DH said the same thing about letting them cry and as moms I just don’t think we are programmed to do that 

MMD1986

Welcome @safire3!

@persnickity it could definitely be a leap as well.  He's learned so much in the last week or two, I think he is just too busy to sleep.

cseley321

@safire3 I had similar issues with my first. She would only sleep on me. With this baby I was determined to try and break that cycle when I saw her going down that path... basically during the day I am very adamant on putting her in her pack n play when she falls asleep. If she wakes up, I just rinse and repeat. Eventually she gives up and stays asleep when put down. I stayed consistent with it and it seems to work okay... I only swaddle her at night though, and I can tell it will be a PITA to break the swaddle habit later (I never swaddled my first)

byrneme

@cseley321 - I thought the same thing about breaking the swaddle habit but it turned out to not be too bad. We went from full swaddle to arms up to nothing fairly easily.

safire3

@cseley321 that’s what we did initially. The thing is he is so hard to get to sleep that every time he wakes up it’s at least another hour to put him back to sleep. Sometimes even longer and he gets overtired and cranky but still keeps fighting sleep. Eventually we end up giving in from exhaustion. 

Hopeful_mom

Hmmmm have been doing the bicycle but probably not frequent enough so will have to keep at it!!  @byrneme thanks for writing it out, I'll give it a try!! @JWatt5 tooty  100% that's what I got here! They didn't use to smell up until recently holy Moses!!

@safire3 hey lady! Welcome! Can't believe he's 4wks already you're doing great! And how scary u had to go back to the hospital glad ur home and feeling better!!!  Reading got ur posts it's like I wrote them myself! She's gonna be 10wks old and it hasn't gotten easier. She still hates the bassinet BUT she does like the swings better now and will even stay for 10mins so I keep trying those!!  You start to get creative with the boppy and pillows to see what u can trick them into believing is u he is such a cutie!!!
OH and especially at this young age they cannot soothe themselves at all so MIL is not correct.  I have friends that work as nurses in labor and delivery and after and they specifically said not to let the baby cry they're too young!! 
I aso listened to my mom a couple wks back and did the same thing with trying to put her down! My nipples were raw with trying to get her to sleep and we were both miserable.  Giving into it has helped more to be honest! 
Its great u have the sling to wear him I need to get that!! Right now I'm just trying to enjoy it as I know it won't be like this forever!! 

@Holls214 how long till the Zantac kicked in and helped? I feel like she's gonna be on it for a week and I don't see it making that much of a difference.  I think she just does better with BF then bottles, I'm not sure..... how r u feeling??

mtpbadger

@Hopeful_mom you could also try putting one of your worn T-shirt’s next to her when you set her down (obviously not close enough for her to grab/cover her face but close enough for her to smell). I haven’t tried that with Abigail yet but my sister said she did that with her son a few times and it seemed to work. Might be worth a shot, even if it only gives you a few more minutes!

Breastfeeding is going well the past two days! She has gotten much quicker and I’m feeling more confident. I know that could change at any feeding, but today they’ve been under a half hour! My mother in law and her sister are stopping by this afternoon- insert eye roll. I don’t have the best relationship with her so this will be interesting. Last time I was alone with her was the day Abigail was born and she just showed up at the hospital room even when DH said he wasn’t there, she couldn’t see the baby in the nicu and I was napping. She also asked if i tore and proceeded to tell me about her labors. TMI. 

Holls214

@Hopeful_mom the Zantac started working almost immediately. He was a fuss and crying a lot before that. Now he is so much better. We’re going to keep it on for a couple months then take him off it if he’s all better then. Hopefully you can get some relief soon! And have her start sleeping other than on you. 
Me- I’m miserable right now... I started steroids for the pain a couple days ago. Those suck and haven’t helped yet. Going to see the doctor again tomorrow. The pain a couple weeks ago spread to my feet and knees. Beginning to think I have arthritis or something now?! Argh. So hard to take care of the babes when not feeling well. 

Hopeful_mom

Hmmmmm @mtpbadger a tshirt not a bad idea!! She loves her mama but also loved being held!! She waves her arms and wakes herself up.  I've tried the swaddle and it barely works!  It almost wakes her arm, like she wants to prove she has power over it!!

@Holls214 so sorry ur suffering so much!  Thrilled u didn't have this st transfer time....it's like ur pregnancy woke all this up?? Thank GD she doesn't sound as cranky as urs with the constant crying. She winces at times while BF which led me to believe it's more gas...I swear I look to see if I'm first physically hurting her.

mbradfo2

Ladies, I just slept through the entire night (11 pm to 6 am) in MY OWN BED with just the monitor. Baby slept too, in fact, she's still snoozing, but I hadn't slept in my bed much since she was born as I was always so nervous about being away from her. It's amazing.

mtpbadger

@mbradfo2 that’s awesome!! Hopefully the first of many nights of full sleep in your bed!

Abigail was sassy last night and did not want to sleep. Every time we held her or laid down with her on our chest to try and calm her, she just wanted to show off how well she can lift her head now. The sassiness is continuing this morning as she doesn’t want to wake up to finish eating. This might be a looooong day.

Does everyone else still look at their babe and think “are they really mine to keep?” Sometimes I still have to pinch myself that we finally made it to this side of IF

safire3

@Holls214 I really feel for you because I can’t imagine caring for a newborn in pain. I really hope they can get you something that helps and get to the bottom of this.

@mbradfo2  wow at this point I feel like I will never sleep more than 4 hours at a time again so that gives me hope! 

@Hopeful_mom  I second @mtpbadger’s suggestion. Yesterday I started putting one of my shirts over Ozi’s boppy pillow, then warming it with the heating pad before putting him down. The first time he slept 20mins on it which was amazing for us. This morning he slept almost an hour there! I am thrilled to just get time to eat meals at this point. 

mbradfo2

I mean, she will have off days but we are working in the right direction....she doesn't go to bed until late though -- 9 or 10? Should I be putting her down earlier?

Holls214

Yay good sleep is so so exciting! Bryson woke up at 2:45 and at 6, so that is a win for us. 
I got referred to a rheumatologist today and had a bunch of blood work done. The steroids aren’t helping yet but it’s only day 4. Fingers crossed for some relief soon. 

MMD1986

mbradfo2 said:

I mean, she will have off days but we are working in the right direction....she doesn't go to bed until late though -- 9 or 10? Should I be putting her down earlier?

I think all babies are different on bedtimes, and I feel like they kind of set their own.  Brooks would be an absolute nightmare if we put him to bed at 9 or 10.  We get up at 5:30 every morning, so right now we are doing bath at 6 pm and then story and bottle, he normally falls asleep eating or we lay him in his crib around 6:30.  So on a good night he is getting 11 hours of sleep per night, minus getting up for a feeding or two.  I tried keeping him up later because I feel like I get no time with him in the evenings after work, but if he is up later he melts down and gets SO cranky.

Someone posted this blog a while back, and I liked it for a general schedule.  I can't control naps at daycare (and I honestly sometimes don't think he gets any good naps in because his sheet always shows they change his diaper every hour pretty much and the cameras show he is constantly moved around), but I try to use it as a general guide on the weekends.

https://www.weebeedreaming.com/my-blog/sample-schedule-4-months-up

JWatt5

@mbradfo2 - I follow the same blog (I think maybe I posted it) and liked having a general schedule to follow!! All babies are different. I have friends who have babies that seem to need a strict schedule and mine is a go with the flow/on demand baby. 

persnickity

@mbradfo2 Mackenzie went to bed at 5:30pm until she was about 7-8 months then she slowly moved it back. We now start with getting ready for bed 6:45-7 and asleep 7:30. It was major meltdowns if we tried to vary the time until she was 11 months.

@MMD1986 completely understand feeling like you don't get time together! I walked into the house and immediately nursed to bed at the beginning. Like DH had already gotten her fully ready and nursing was all i saw her for.

mbradfo2

@mtpbadger
I actually joined Literati book subscription service (they select some books for 10 bucks a month and mail to you with extra goodies, you pay for what books you want to keep). So far they've been really great! We will be getting our third box this month and it's a great way to build up baby's book stash without having to curate everything myself.  I think as she gets older she'll like it even more -- what kiddo doesn't like getting a package with their name on it every month?!

If anyone wants a referral coupon (25 dollars off, I think), let me know -- I still have some to give out.  

I'm gonna try out that schedule and see how she does! thanks for the tips

Aera11

@mtpbadger hopefully Abigail's sassiness has died down I feel like as soon as I think we have some kind of routine/schedule, it totally changes!  how's the BF going? my nipples are sore from pumping so I can't even imagine how they'd be if I was BF.  and yes, I stare at Aisleigh & it blows my mind for so many reasons.  Like 1.) we beat IF, that in itself is amazing.  2.) this baby was made in & lab, and here she is. nuts! 3.) she is half me, half DH...probably the best part because she seems like such a blend.  I feel so lucky every day...even on the days that feel harder than others.

woohoo, yay for good sleep @holls214!

@mbradfo2 , I agree with the other posters...all babies are different.  You have to do what works for you and for your baby  

mtpbadger

@aera11 BF is going pretty well! We are only doing about 8oz/day in a bottle which is nice to not have to clean so many bottles! Nipples have turned a corner and aren’t too sore anymore but for awhile it was pure torture! Feedings are also down to less than a half hour consistently (sometimes even 5-10 min) and I’m learning to trust that she’s getting enough and maybe just varies how much she takes each time. 

Her sassiesness is somewhat better but she’s been staying up til 11pm which we gotta work on bc she was going to bed around 8pm for awhile. During the week I feel like I have a fairly good routine with her and then the weekends derail it. 

Aera11

Oh good!! @mtpbadger ugh don't even get me started on the cleaning of the bottles & pump parts...it's never ending! Yeah our routine is for sure dictated by the kind of day we have. If I'm home all day & don't leave, she's like clockwork. If we run errands, it's all over because she sleep/naps on & off while we're out.