Weekly Bitch-tacular Fun Fest • w/o 7.30

echo-charlietango

AdorkablePixie

I was supposed to go to CT with my mom and aunt this weekend to visit family. DS was going too. Well, apparently my aunt's husband is really depressed and quit his job last week so she bought him a ticket and he ended up flying with her. Well, now DS and I can't go because "she can't travel with a child" because of him. I'm not really sure why that is... does she think he is dangerous. She said we could drive separate. My car needs an oil change, I am like a month overdue thanks to DH working nonstop. He said he can change it Wednesday, but even with that should we really be staying in the same house with him if she thinks it's a bad idea to be in a car with him? So my bitch is that after the tough few weeks I've had I was REALLY looking forward to seeing family (and possibly meeting a fellow May 16 bumpy who lives nearby) and now I have no weekend plans.

Katzalia

@AdorkablePixie hmm, have you talked to your mom to get some insight? I’m wondering if your aunt is thinking there needs to be a private/adult conversation in the car about how her husband is doing (so protecting your son from content that might not be appropriate)? I wouldn’t skip the weekend if you think you would otherwise enjoy it. 

hkom

@AdorkablePixie Yeah I think it's definitely worth it to get some insight into the situation instead of to assume that your uncle isn't safe around children.  That seems a little dramatic, IMO.  It sounds like he may just be incredibly stressed out and perhaps doesn't want to deal with traveling with a small child.  Or possibly somethings along the lines of what @Katzalia said.

AdorkablePixie

@Katzalia DS is only two, so I don't think he'd have any idea what they are talking about.. but I think the whole idea of her bringing him on the trip (other than to try to assure he doesn't try to commit suicide) is try to forget about things for a while so I doubt they'd bring it up on the drive there. Especially since they'll have been here a week by the time they head out.

@hkom From the way she worded her e-mail to me, that's how it sounds. Could be that she thinks he'd annoy her husband, but he's a great traveler. She has also seen him only twice though and has no idea what he is like.

hkom

@AdorkablePixie I would still try to ask.  Things can be lost in translation so easily over the internet.  And I'm sure he's a great traveler for you, but kids can be annoying even when they are technically being well-behaved, especially when it's not your child.  If I or my husband were dealing with heavy shit like that, I can guarantee neither of us would want to deal with being cooped up in a car with someone else's kid.  

PensiveCrayon

My bitch is that I had to reschedule my anatomy scan againnnnn because I'm a doofus and scheduled it next Wednesday morning...as I'm flying back from D.C. (I am also a double-doofus because I posted all this in the AMA thread yesterday, where I don't actually belong, because my brain read Ask Me Anything and went with it.) Luckily the office was able to get me in on Wednesday, but at 11:00, riiiight as my son approaches optimum nap time. So either I take him with and deal with a crabby/rambunctious kid who falls asleep on the car ride home and doesn't transfer to his crib OR I hire a sitter, which is silly but what I'm leaning toward, especially if H can't make it. Poor guy keeps signing himself out at work for me and then the plans change.

AdorkablePixie

@hkom That's true. I did end up asking. She said she doesn't think he is unsafe, he's just moody. Which I get. I'm not depressed and I'm moody. lol Also, good point about other people's kids. My tolerance for other people's kids is way lower than my tolerance for my own. Now my big hurdle is decided whether or not I want to drive through NYC traffic. Traffic makes me so nervous.

@PensiveCrayon That's a tough one!! If your H could go I'd probably take DS but if not, I'd try to find a sitter. We took DS with us to my NT scan and oh my gosh, constant carrying on for almost the whole thing. He was not in a good mood that morning!!

hkom

@AdorkablePixie I'm glad she was able to clarify!  I think all moms forget at some point or another that other people sometimes just don't want to deal with kids, and that's ok. It's not necessarily a negative reflection of you or your child.

NYC traffic is rough, I wouldnt blame you for wanting to skip that. 

Katzalia

@AdorkablePixie I’m glad you got clarification. NYC traffic vs family weekend — tough call. 

katy0990

@AdorkablePixie I’m glad you got clarification. If you go, will your family help with your son or will you end us chasing him around alone the whole time? 

AFM My dentist office always has to reschedule my cleaning appointments,it seems, which gets really annoying. Well, they called me a couple of months ago needing to reschedule for today. Fine. The cleaning was supposed to be for me and for my two-year-old. Well, I get there and find out that they forgot to put him on the schedule. So, I had spent the past few days preparing him for the appointment, for nothing. It was pretty clear I was upset, especially because this dentist office is 30 min away, so I really didn’t want to have to make another trip.  Eventually, they agreed to squeeze him in (He has 16 teeth, so it’s not like it’s takes to long to clean them),  but, we would have to wait 45 minutes after my appointment for his.  So basically, we were at the dentist office for over 2 1/2 hours, which cut into both lunch and nap time. He did pretty well, but as soon as we got home, he did not want to listen and ended up pooping in his pants because he was insisting on carrying a bunch of stuff upstairs with him. Now, he is in bed yelling, “Mommy I’m mad and angry!” And refusing to sleep. Should be a fun afternoon.

Jens_Hoes

@katy0990 that is so not cool. I cannot stand when people waste my time and when doctor's offices mess up.  I'm such a brute in those situations and often lose my cool lol sorry your week started this way 

Katzalia

@katy0990 that is really frustrating. I hate stuff like that. Once in a while having to reschedule or dropping the ball — that’s human error, forgiveable if annoying. But repeated issues? My tolerance for that is low. So sorry you and you kid are suffering for their errors. Hope he recovers his equilibrium post-nap. 

Side-note: super impressed with him being able to label his feelings like that! 

katy0990

Thanks for commiserating, ladies!

@Katzalia We talk about emotions and feelings a lot haha. 

omnommer

Ugh, my boss just started getting upset that a PowerPoint I created with three days notice that she was presenting and apparently didn't plan on reviewing prior to her presenting had some errors in it (I'm talking like maybe 5 tiny numerical errors in a 50-slide presentation). I gave her the feedback that I was sorry about the errors, but a few weeks notice that she needed help creating this rather than 3 days (when I already have a full client load) would have been helpful in this case. Instead of accepting the feedback, she threw it back in my face and told me that if I didn't have time to create it when she needed it that I should have told her so she could get someone else to do it. Problem is... we have no one else who could do it. We have no admins or associates to help, and I'm the "lowest" level we currently have at a consultant level. I'm just so frustrated right now. 

Everyone else that I work with is lovely. And she's usually just fine. Sometimes she just gets in these moods and makes it really difficult. This kind of reaction to feedback makes my decision easier about whether to stay home or go back to work after baby comes. I'm still dreading a conversation with her about all my options in a few weeks based on her moods, but I need to have that conversation before truly making a decision.

echo-charlietango

@omnommer Ugh! Sorry your boss just shat on your hard work, does she ever apologize after these moods?

AFM, I have kind of lost faith in humanity - all because of Facebook Marketplace...again.
Today I put my old car up for sale on the nearest Air Force Base's resale lot. My plan was to sell on base instead of my home to filter potential buyers/creeps. After leaving my car on the lot I came home and added my darling car to Facebook Marketplace - being up front about the car being on base - meaning that you have to have your own access for me to meet you there. I have been in touch with nine people, only three of them can get on base. That means that for the remaining six I have had to explain that you must have a valid military ID to drive onto a military installation. Ugh. 

Luckily, I did already do a test drive with a sweet grandpa whose granddaughter will be 16 soon. He was impressed with the power windows (my kind of guy). It was a nice reprieve from the FB idiots. They'll have an answer for me tomorrow morning (they're sending another family member to the resale lot to look at the car tonight), and I sure hope they buy it. Hell, I might even let them talk me down in price just so I can enjoy their ability to speak intelligently. 

hkom

@echo-charlietango That screenshot just gave me hives. 

echo-charlietango

@hkom Sorry, I just had to share the horror. Luckily I'm stacking my back-up buyers in order of writing ability, so if my preferred buyers back out I shouldn't be in a total rage tomorrow. Then again, ten bites on my car today, no telling how many more non-readers will contact me tomorrow

maureenmce

I am the subject of my own bitchfest today. So, all day today I was thinking I haven't felt the baby move much and I started feeling anxious. Then, just now, baby starts having a dance party, basically, moving constantly for at least five solid minutes. So you'd think I'd feel less anxious, right? Nope! Instead, I start worry that the baby is moving TOO much and it's obviously some sort of sign of distress. COULD MY ANXIETY CHILL FOR LIKE, 5 MINUTES. Ugh.

katy0990

@omnommer I’m sorry your boss is so moody. I hope she comes to her senses soon and is kind about your leave options.
@echo-charlietango You just can’t fix stupid! I hope the grandpa buys it tomorrow.
@maureenmce Anxiety sucks

futuremrshp

@maureenmce same thing happened to me.  I feel you!

@omnommer I'm sorry to hear about your boss.  Some people don't know how to be gracious under tough or tight deadlines.  ugh. 

AdorkablePixie

@katy0990 Ugh! That is so frustrating!! I don't blame him for being mad and angry! lol I wouldn't really need help on the trip, but my mom would always help out if needed. I think I've decided not to go on the trip though. My aunt told me last night that my uncle's place is "nasty". I'm not sure what she means by that, I am assuming probably just full of clutter and stuff. Definitely don't feel like trying to keep DS out of EVERYTHING all weekend.

@omnommer Wow. She should be thanking you for being able to put a presentation together so quickly.

@echo-charlietango I wouldn't have even been able to respond to the person sending those messages...

Jens_Hoes

Total first world problem here, and I am aware of this...

So I have an etsy shop and I got a custom request last night for 130 ornaments!! I got really excited about it, and spent all this time messaging the lady back and forth regarding what she wanted, looking for the supplies that would be required for the job, and when I gave her the price (a 20% bulk discount) she told me the price was too high (she wanted a 40%+ bulk discount) 

And plus also, I got bellinis counter for lunch (pasta) and proceeded to spill my first bite of pasta with vodka sauce on my shirt and pants 

omnommer

@echo-charlietango No, she doesn't really ever apologize for anything. She reacts poorly in the moment and calms down, but doesn't rectify the situation... she did praise me for my event planning and pulling off the big breakfast event today, but mentioned nothing about the PowerPoint conversation yesterday. Because of her reactions in the moment, I'm super scared to talk to her about all the leave options in a few weeks. I'm like 98% sure I'll be staying home though anyways. I still should have the conversation with her.

katy0990

@AdorkablePixie I’m sorry you are missing out on the trip, but it sounds like it would have been a lot of work for you. *hugs*

@jens_hoes I’m sorry you put in all that work for nothing. That would be so frustrating!

hkom

This is a pretty superficial BF relative to some of the other aspects of my job, but holy hell, it annoys the crap out of me.  Land development is an overwhelmingly male-dominated field and skews in the 50+ age-range, and the amount of stupid comments I get from our clients is overwhelming.  If I had a quarter for every comment I received about my footwear during a site visit... well, I wouldn't be a millionaire but I'd have a few dollars.  It's definitely a theme. 
The latest was today - it was a mild one but still.  It's been raining all morning so the ground is super muddy (duh), so I wore my knee-high rubber waders.  We start walking into the site and the client for some reason decides to lament to me that my boots are going to get muddy?  Like he thought it was something I was legitimately going to be upset about.  I just looked at him and deadpanned "that's literally what these boots are for."  
I've had other men straight up challenge the functionality of my shoes.  I had a guy point out the shoes I was wearing and ask me if I was "going to be ok" walking down a wet grassy hill.  I was wearing high-top Salomon hiking boots.  Said guy slipped and slid the whole way down and back up the hill.  I didn't even stumble one time.

1) I do this for a living.  I am a professional in this field. Please do not treat me like a child.  2) I will walk your property in stilettos and not falter so do not even try me.  3) WHY ARE YOU EVEN LOOKING AT MY SHOES? Meanwhile, my father regularly wears wildly inappropriate (IMO) shoes like low-top "hiking shoes" and literal sneakers to site visits, including pretty much every time a comment has been made to me, and no one has ever said a word to him.  

Ugh.  Men.

erose625

@hkom I work in the construction industry and completely sympathize with you!! In our business casual office I wear Tieks and walking to a meeting the other day, one of our VPs asked me why I was wearing slippers. 

AdorkablePixie

@Jens_Hoes I thought 20% would be a good discount!!

@hkom That's so dumb. I agree, why are they even looking at your shoes?! *eye roll*

@katy0990 Thanks! We are going to the free activity at Home Depot on Saturday so that will be fun. The first Saturday every month they have a free activity for kids, it is so nice! They also provide them with a drink and a snack!

hkom

I hadn't been sick in probably the past two years.  I have now had two colds during this pregnancy.    

omnommer

@hkom It's the same with me! I hadn't been sick in two years, and I got a massive cold about two weeks ago. It sucks, doesn't it? 

katy0990

My BF-  my parents went through a very ugly divorce when I was a senior in high school. My brother and I “took my dad’s side” According to my mom and did not speak to me for close to seven years and still, 10 years later, does not have a relationship with my brother. In addition, my three younger siblings, the youngest of whom is now 17, do not speak to or see my dad. My mom is extremely controlling with some undiagnosed mental illness. My dad is a good person, but he just isn’t very smart and he definitely has at times made things more difficult for himself. They have been back in court the past two years because of some tax issues and my mom has been found responsible in court and through multiple appeals. She actually served a week of jail time last fall and still refuses to pay.  They have been trying to serve her with paperwork for a new court date since January. My mom and my three younger siblings are very angry with my dad for all of this and blame him for continuing to push, even though she has been found to be wrong by multiple courts.  Anyway, my dad‘s wife texted me this morning wanting a photo of DH, DS, and me. No problem! She then proceeded to ask for photos of my three younger siblings, who she has only seen it from afar on two occasions. Because of all of the animosity and drama, I am not comfortable giving her a photo of them. I just do not feel like it is my place since they do not know her and do not have any sort of relationship with my dad. Well, now she is upset with me that I don’t understand that it is important for my father to have a photo of his children.  I just do not understand why did you not see that it is not OK to continue to put me in the middle of this. This has gone on for 10 years now. I am grateful that I am now even able to see my siblings. I spent seven years only being able To speak to them maybe once a year and I am not going to go back to that over something like this. They already missed my wedding and countless other events. I especially do not want to cause any additional drama before the birth of this baby. My mom is already upset that she will not be able to come to the county I live in to meet the baby because of the warrant and court process. I am just so over all of this.

hkom

@omnommer It's not even that bad, it's just sooo annoying!

@katy0990 I'm sorry your parents are still putting you in the middle of their issues.  I've had some experience with that indirectly.  My mom's long-term partner's ex wife (that's a mouthful) manipulates their children to get what she wants.  The "kids" are actually all adults now and some of them still don't see what their mom is doing to their dad.  It's infuriating to watch.  Hugs to you.

echo-charlietango

@katy0990 That sucks that your parent's former relationship continues to impact you and your siblings. I can only hope that yo mama will comply with court rulings, and that your dad's wife stops asking you for photos of your siblings! I agree that it's weird of her to ask, and I wouldn't give them to her either. FWIW my friends & family are used to hear me say "you should ask so-and-so" or things like "I do know why, but that's not my story to tell" I refuse to disclose non-public info about others, and that totally includes photos. It's all out of respect for the people in question, but some just don't understand (gossipers especially don't understand why I don't blast everyone's business). *hugs*

maureenmce

@katy0990 Oh, I am so sorry. Your family situation sounds almost identical to my husband's (right down to having three younger siblings and being trapped in the middle of conflict all the time.) I don't have any advice to offer, but sending you lots of love. Just try to stay focused on your own family and your own happiness as much as possible.

temmetime

@katy0990 I am so sorry you have to deal with that stress for as long as you have. Love to you

rosebud332

@katy0990 So Sorry they continue to try to put you in the middle. It was inappropriate of her to ask for that from you. All the kids are adults and can make uo their minds about having a relationship with him, though it’s sad for him that they choose not to. All you can do is control your own life.

katy0990

Thanks for the support everyone! It’s nice to know that others can see where I’m coming from. My family always leaves me feeling like maybe thee is something wrong with me, so the encouragement means a lot.

Katzalia

MH is out of town this weekend and didn’t tell the kiddo he was going to be gone until the last minute. She was really upset and didn’t want him to go. Tonight when I was tucking her in, she asked me to leave “because I feel like I’m about to cry because I’m missing Daddy, so I need to be alone.” Break my heart, kid. I wish I could comfort her but she just needed space. 

katy0990

@Katzalia That is so sad. Poor little sweetheart!

Activebaby

Katzalia said:

MH is out of town this weekend and didn’t tell the kiddo he was going to be gone until the last minute. She was really upset and didn’t want him to go. Tonight when I was tucking her in, she asked me to leave “because I feel like I’m about to cry because I’m missing Daddy, so I need to be alone.” Break my heart, kid. I wish I could comfort her but she just needed space. 

I’m sorry for her little feelings. H is often busy, and works nights randomly. I’ve found that I can make that exciting for my boys. I call it date night with mommy! We pick out dinner together (may be a frozen pizza, or Mac and cheese- whatever they find exciting), do showers, and watch a kid show in my bed and sleep all together. The kids get so excited for “date night” even though it’s really solo parenting. My kids aren’t sad because it’s an “exciting night!” Just an idea I discovered works for us. 

Katzalia

@Activebaby for sure, you’re exactly right. The idea is to make it more fun to be here and that poor Daddy is missing out on all the fun. We’ve had a great weekend so far. It was tough with the short notice and not being able to help her frame it that way at first, but we’ve recovered well. Other than a little sadness at bedtime, she’s been having too much fun to miss him (and told him so when she talked to him today — oops).