This is me... living child mentioned

ilovemyscientist21

Hello everyone! Well I have been lurking for a few weeks now and I guess it’s time I speak up and introduce myself. I had my fourth miscarriage earlier this month. I was almost 8 weeks along. All my miscarriages have been early. I had three before I had my son, who just turned 2 last month, with no explanation as to why they occurred.  My doctor at the time put me on progesterone and I thought that is what made my pregnancy successful. Flash forward 2 years and we decided to try progesterone again and we still lost the last pregnancy. Not really sure where to go from here. I was pretty crushed after the third and fourth miscarriages. We decided to sit this cycle  out but feeling a bit hopeful to try again next cycle. I know some day I will have a whole litter of babies waiting up in heaven for me and I know God is using this time in my life for something bigger than myself but it still sucks. Thanks for letting me lay it all out. I know it’s been said before but it’s just nice to know other people are going through what I am going through. 

Mack2342

So sorry for your losses.  Welcome 

bakerstreetboys

Very sorry to hear about your losses. Welcome to the board. You may want to change your screen name so we can recognize you and tag you in posts

denma2015

That’s a tough one.  I can totally relate.  Hang out here.  It’s a supportive group

ilovemyscientist21

Bakerstreetboys- how do I do that? I was trying to play around with it but I cannot figure out how to change it. 

ilovemyscientist21

Just kidding...haha I finally got it

bakerstreetboys

knottie5df2fab0eeac9c4e said:

Just kidding...haha I finally got it

Still showing as a Knottie  I think you may need to change it on The Knot website... or if you changed it, log out and back in.

ilovemyscientist21

Ok now I finally did it!!! And I added a picture... I think???

rowedking6

Welcome! So very sorry to hear of your losses. I always said the same thing about our babies in heaven. ..I would joke that after doing ivf we'd almost have the Duggars beat once I join the babies some day. 

IS 40:31 

chloe97

So sorry for your losses. I had DD (who is now 1) after 2 MCs (we fixed my thyroid levels and that seemed to do the trick for me.)  I am back at it after a CP in April. I hope your stay here is short. 

mwmiller4

I’m so sorry for you losses and hope that each day gets a little better ❤️

dpjennifer

ilovemyscientist21 Sorry for your losses. Did you have RPL tests done? If not, I'd highly recommend them in your situation. Unfortunately, still 50-75% of us go on to be unexplained with no reasons as to why we keep losing our babies. Just remember, at least you have the one, so find joy in that!

ilovemyscientist21

I love that way of thinking Chloe97! I 

ilovemyscientist21

Dpjennider- yes I had a battery of test done, all of which came back normal Sven the progesterone test but my doctor was like oh well let’s tey it anyways. So we still aren’t totally sure what’s causing them. I do have PCOS and now I am trying metformin to see if that will work. I have heard it works for women who are insulin resistant or have PCOS. So far it has made me ovulate regularly so there’s that. I just keep praying and leaning into God because some days I am just not strong enough. 

dpjennifer

ilovemyscientist21 Ovulating regularly is a great first step for PCOS. Sorry all your tests came back normal. It totally sucks being unexplained RPL. Losing babies with no reason given, and no idea if the next time will have a better chance of working out or not is a special kind of hell. I definitely can relate with the not being strong enough... sometimes I am the most bitter vile person on the planet because I just can't even. 

ilovemyscientist21

@dpjennifer I totally know what you mean about being bitter. I was bitter for awhile too. Now I’m just scared, scared to hope, scared to think about the future, scared to try again. We avoided this cycle. I’m set to start a new cycle Monday or Tuesday, but I am just scared. More scared than I ever was after any other previous losses. I think I was so confident this time that the progesterone would work, that when it didn’t, it pretty much crushed me. So I guess we will see... Again just leaning into God is all I can do. 

ruby696

@dpjennifer I had a blood draw yesterday to test my thyroid. I think it's insane that I am so incredibly hopeful that I have hypothyroidism because then I'll have a "quick fix." I mean, who hopes for a lifelong medical condition?? But I can't imagine coping with unexplained RPL.

ilovemyscientist21

@dpjennifer. Yes!!! I know exactly what you mean when you say you are hoping for a diagnosis because at least you don’t feel crazy and you might have an explanation. I have PCOS and endometriosis (both of which I have been told don’t relate to RPL) but I remember waiting for the diagnosis and just being happy I finally had an answer. Now I just wish I had an answer for my RPL. 

luromi

I’m very sorry for your losses. I know it sucks and how it feels incredibly unfair. Just today I was thinking just what you said, that our babies are waiting for us in heaven. It’s kind of bittersweet, but full of hope. I wish that you find peace soon.

ilovemyscientist21

@luromi. Thanks for your reply. I know that some days that is the only thought that gets me through. Right now I am just really struggling with whether or not I am ready to try again. So we will see...

antera23

Hi! It’s so nice to meet you. I’m so sorry for all your losses and I am hoping for a BFP for you this month.