Secret "cheat" meals/snacks

jellybelly8

Hello ! I'm 6 weeks & 4 days pregnant & this is my first preganacy. My husband and I are very excited. My hubby is very involved in this journey & reads articles, etc. He is also very involved in what is good vs. Bad to eat during preganacy. I also am very attentive to these things but my hubby is hardcore! We get into little disagreements because he thinks some things should be cut cold turkey when certain things are permitted in small amounts/servings. If I feel for chicken tenders, or whatever else that is really a treat I sneak it in lol.. My husband just wants me & baby to be healthy. He isn't controlling or a jerk he just has concerns. I know its out of love for sure. Does any one else experience this? Sometimes too I may feel for something one moment but by the time lunch hits I want something else that's more appealing. I definitely don't go overboard with the secret cheat snacks and I use discretion but my hubby has no clue about this because I don't want to deal with the discussion when at the end of the day I'm the one who is pregnant and when I crave something I must have it! Lol! Please share your experiences. 

BourbonBiscuits

Girl, live your life! I mean obviously don't go get drunk and smoke weed, but in all likelihood some deli meat is not going to be detrimental to your pregnancy. I'd look at the reasoning behind why we're told to avoid certain things. Is the issue salmonella? Is it mercury? Is it listeria? Then use your judgement. It's your body, and I don't think you should have to sneak around to eat completely safe things. I mean chicken fingers?! I just had 3 brownies for lunch.

I don't mean to sound judgmental at all, and I really hope I'm not coming across that way. But I want you to feel empowered to listen to your own body.

becks_726

There must be a happy medium! DH can't keep up with it so he keeps suggesting I eat stuff I really want but can't have. 
I feel like everyone has to decide for themselves what they are comfortable with and what risks they are willing to take. And partners obviously factor into that but...
The next 9 or so months are going to be real long if you are constantly feeling deprived.

kayjay44

Uh yeah, this wouldn't fly in my household - no one tells me what to do. And if my husband told me I couldn't have chicken tenders if I wanted them while pregnant, I might kill him.

I eat lunch meat, sushi, carpaccio etc. If you're going to reputable places, it's not an issue. I do limit caffiene in first trimester, limit the amount of high mercury fish, don't drink/smoke (other than maybe a sip of beer here and there). You're more likely to get listeria and salmonella from things other than lunch meat and eggs respectively.

IMO, it's not his body so he shouldn't be telling you what to do. My husband trusts my judgement and knows I do a substantial amount of research before making any decisions. 

cmjenkies

What @kayjay44 said except I’m not great at limiting caffeine right now 

kayjay44

@cmjenkies - I do a rough estimate - and that's only for first tri (I stick to less than 200-300 mg). After first tri, I want the baby used to caffeine by the time he or she is born so it doesn't cause issues with BFing.

Omie_Wise

DH is actually a bit of a nervous nelly when it comes to medical stuff so I do tolerate some of his concerns regarding food. I’m not sure how he will feel this time but last time he didn’t want me eating raw fish or drinking until the 3rd trimester. For me, a yellowtail roll isn’t really worth having him be super uncomfortable and nervous, especially when there are other things I can order. There were things I pushed back on. It’s a give take for us. 

madreofdragons

Yeahhhh, my H would need to have a chicken tender surgically removed. With DD I was still a Diet Coke-head so the caffeine thing was worse with her. I don’t do caffeine aside from a random iced tea now so that’s nice to not worry about. I’m starting this pregnancy about 15lbs heavier than the last so in general I’m trying to be a little more careful but I’m not going to deprive myself. There WILL be a giant county fair corn dog this summer. 

jellybelly8

@Omie_Wise Yes, my husband is the same way. He just wants me & baby to be healthy. He isn't controlling or a jerk he just has concerns. I know its out of love for sure, but yes as the other ladies say, if I feel for a treat that won't be super harmful to myself or baby then I should feel free to have it without any guilt 

jellybelly8

 

ThePax89

If my husband commented on the food I was eating, he’d be out of the house. I eat whatever I can stomach. You shouldn’t have to sneak food. Does he eat perfectly healthy all of the time? 

McKBaby

Nope.  My husband trusts my judgment.  If he told me what I could or couldn't eat, I'd kill him. 

ETA: Typo

disneybaby84

Confession: I didn’t eat the most perfect for my first kid. I gained 55 lbs.  And yes, lost it before this pregnancy happened. My boy 15 months old is an amazing broccoli eater. At his 15 month doctor appointment he was 55% in weight and 45% in height. Not recommending what I did, but it didn’t ruin him. However, this time I am determined not to do that again. But when I go to my friend’s wedding in November, I definitely plan on enjoying the food. Being pregnant during the holidays is the best! 

ruby696

I second what @kayjay44 said.  First, I avoid anything that I feel is truly off limits (alcohol, limit caffeine, etc.), so it's not an issue.  However, my husband would never tell me what I could and could not eat.  He's picking up Vietnamese food right now and didn't say a word about the sprouts in my order.  He's much too smart to do something so stupid.

Erinm278

Maybe it’s because this is my 3rd but I don’t follow any of those rules. I limit caffeine to 1 cup a day, I don’t drink more than a few sips, I don’t like raw fish anyway, and I’m a non smoker. Other than that I eat whatever the hell I want. Gimme the deli sandwiches and soft cheeses baby..mama likey!

ginger1228

@jellybelly8 maybe your husband would benefit from reading about how baby gets nutrition right now - baby will get what it needs from you. Yes, healthy choices are great, but “normal” foods are fine too. At some point you have to eat what you can tolerate. Just bc a food isn’t perfectly healthy doesn’t mean it doesn’t offer some sort of nutritional benefit. For example, pizza can offer dairy, veggies, and protein. Baby is going to suck the vitamins from it. 

That said, I don’t think it’s a problem to take his feelings into consideration. My husband is freaked out by lunch meat so I avoid it. Yes it’s my body, but it’s not worth the worry it would cause him. 

kjr9519

My husband is a worrier too. I get his opinion on things I’m not sure about whether I should or shouldn’t do, then everything else, I just tell him that I read up on it (which I have been doing) and that it’s really okay, which usually is enough for him. That’s just kind of what’s been working for us.

jellybelly8

@ginger1228 thank you, I didn't look at it that way (about the pizza example), this is a new experience for him too so I get it.. But I definitely could take this approach on reading and maybe reading together that way we both are fully informed. Thanks for your insightful response. I was a little scared to post this discussion. Some women aren't as forgiving as you see from the other posts lol but it is interesting to hear the dynamics of preganancy and how it plays a role in your interactions with your significant other. 

jellybelly8

@BourbonBiscuits absolutely. I definitely want to feel empowered and will get there. This is a new experience for the both of us so I guess we are just learning a ton of information. I'm sure by the time my cravings really kick in during this pregnancy or by the next time we look to have our second child I'm sure he'll get the picture that I eat what I want when I want it (within healthy reason) lol. This is so new to us right now.

BourbonBiscuits

@jellybelly8 Totally understand! My husband gently (with the fear of God in his eyes) asked me last night if I could eat cookie dough as I devoured cookie dough ice cream. He still has concerns, which are totally valid, but ultimately the warnings are out of an abundance of caution.This is our second, but I remember that terror of making any mistake with my first. The nurse literally told me not to take too hot of a bath because I'd boil the baby. Come. On. It gets easier, I promise! Also, what pp said is totally true - baby will suck all the nutrients out. I got so sick with DS that I couldn't keep any food down (norovirus at week 34, absolutely would not suggest), and the nurses in the ER reassured me that baby would pull nutrients from my body, even if I couldn't keep anything down. 

kayjay44

I also had norovirus with DS around 30 weeks. I felt like death and needed IV fluids - they checked on DS and he was doing just fine because he was getting all the stuff I wasn’t. 

antera23

Before today I was thinking “no way will I have secret cheat meals”. Well today I went to McDonald’s and did not tell my boyfriend! 

Kurrant

I limit or exclude the usuals, sushi, lunch meat, alcohol, blah blah and that’s my choice (not judging the lunch meat eaters or anything) but mh’s concerns are more about just unhealthy food like ice cream. I am not a sugar fiend. I typically don’t like sugary tastes aside from during AF but pregnancy puts it into overload for me. So my cheats are going down to movenpick or Ben & Jerry’s scoop shop and grabbing some ice cream! I wouldn’t have an issue telling him except that I’m already moody and don’t feel like dealing with the stress.