For sleep- DD was in our room in a bassinet for like 3 weeks then she went to her own crib in her room- she’s always been an awesome sleeper and it’s what worked for us. I’m have a pretty strong opinion regarding not cosleeping but can understand why it happens. We used halo swaddle slee sacks at first and then the regular sleep sacks until she was like 1 ish!
I have a question! I'm 4w1d and the past 2 days I've been having some pretty bad pelvic cramping, which I can feel in my back. No bleeding. Not unbearable (I've had cysts before, which is what it feels like) but it's affecting my sleep. Between the cramps and getting up to pee several times a night, I'm getting kind of worried. Is this normal? Corpus luteum maybe? First appt. Isn't until week 9.
@mindgrapes08 I had HORRIBLE, stop in my tracks cramping in the beginning with my first pregnancy, that I could also feel in my back. Those first growing pains can be more painful than you’d expect.
I have a question! I'm 4w1d and the past 2 days I've been having some pretty bad pelvic cramping, which I can feel in my back. No bleeding. Not unbearable (I've had cysts before, which is what it feels like) but it's affecting my sleep. Between the cramps and getting up to pee several times a night, I'm getting kind of worried. Is this normal? Corpus luteum maybe? First appt. Isn't until week 9.
There’s a wide range of normal. All 4 of my pregnancies have been very different. Unless you start bleeding, I wouldn’t be too concerned. You’re going to feel all sorts of weird pains. You could even be experiencing late implantation. Whatever you do, don’t ask dr. Google.
@rachstar18 I'm officially cutting myself off from Dr. Google! I feel like it's making my symptoms worse. Right now, I feel perfectly fine, just a little sleepy. Is it okay to fly in the first trimester?
First time pregnancy/mom to be here. Since babies r us is having such great sales and closing soon, I’m going to buy a stroller and car seat. Other moms: do you find that a three wheeled stroller or four wheeled stroller is better/more practical? Thank you in advance!!
@kayjay44 I’m looking to buy a stroller/car seat combo. So stroller-wise, it would be what we would transporting baby around in. So something versatile, compact, lightweight
@elliecele17 My husband is super hands with our kids and that really let him feel like he was part of things. When they are so new, it seems like babies always need mom (especially if you're EBF). My husband loved feeling like being surrounded by "him" was comforting to them.
My two cents on the three wheel v. four wheel stroller: make sure that whatever you get is not too heavy. Especially if you're lugging it in and out of a larger vehicle. We initially bought a jogger and it was pretty heavy. So we bought a three wheel to use when we were out and about and we used the jogger when needed it in our neighborhood or on a run.
Question - when you had your 1st did your spouse take time off or did u have a family member stay with you (eg: mom) for the 1st few weeks? Did you find it helpful (physically/emotionally) did/will you do it differently the 2nd / 3 rd time around by choice? Any advice
My husband took 8 weeks off with our first. He took four weeks off with our second - we realized 8 weeks was unnecessary. He'll probably take two weeks off with this baby because I'll have to go back to work after 3 months (as opposed to 5 months which I took with DS and DD), so he will take a month off when I go back to work.
@elliecele17 my first baby, my mom helped for a week, but her and I don’t get along and honestly, she was some help, but also not helpful. With the drop in hormones after giving birth, I found myself really angry at her a lot. Think a lot about you as a person, who you get along with, what gets on your nerves, what is helpful to you/ not helpful.
Question - when you had your 1st did your spouse take time off or did u have a family member stay with you (eg: mom) for the 1st few weeks? Did you find it helpful (physically/emptionally) did you do it differently the 2nd / 3 rd time around by choice? Any advice
It’s so hard to say. With my first, I didn’t want anyone’s help. We were in the process of buying a home so we were living with my ILs. They are awesome but it was really hard to be constantly on. I also had severe PPD so that made it worse. Both times my husband took 4 weeks and that was enough. I was ready to be alone and get into a routine. I love having family close by but there is nothing like feeling like I can do it without extra help.
Just set realistic expectations. You don’t know what you will want or need. As helpful as it may be, people may get in the way and frustrate you. I just wouldn’t make any decisions yet.
My husband took 2 weeks off with our first and I was ready for him to be back at work by the end of that... I’m sure I’ll fee differently this time around and be willing for help though. Our families all live close by and were willing to help whenever but we didn’t have anyone else stay with us.
@elliecele17 - DD was born in summer and my H is a teacher, so that worked out well for us. He was home the first 5-6 weeks. Other than him, I wouldn’t haven’t wanted someone else around all the time. Depends on your relationship with your mom or whoever would be helping, but I wanted to get a routine establish somewhat quick. I also BF and didn’t want an audience for it so I didn’t want people around full time.
@elliecele17 DH took 2 weeks with each. With DD he worked from home and could help if I needed it. With DS, he did drop off and pick ups of DD at daycare. Our family visited, but we didn’t have family help. I like my space and wouldn’t have wanted anymore help than here and there.
@elliecele17 for the first two DH had 4 weeks off with are third he was over seas so he got 3 weeks when LO was 2 month old. So my grandmother flew in for the first two weeks. And was my life saver just because she help keep the older two on a schedule. This time around he might stay home for 2 or 3 days. My suggestion is meal prep befor delivery and be prepared to let some of the house go. I had great friends who would help out when DH was away u need to find out what works best for you and your baby.
@elliecele17 so my husband had a super flexible work schedule, but he went back to work the day after we got home from the hospital and was home by lunch every day. My mom came when DS was 4 days old (I think?), which was helpful because I developed really bad mastitis and she was knew what was going on when I didn't. I LOVED those first few days at home alone with DS though. It gave us a chance to bond after a tough delivery and for me to figure out what I needed before my mom came. But I agree with @shellperry do as much meal prep as you can (there are a ton of blogs with freezer prep meals before baby comes!) and sleep when baby sleeps with your first.
Question - when you had your 1st did your spouse take time off or did u have a family member stay with you (eg: mom) for the 1st few weeks? Did you find it helpful (physically/emotionally) did/will you do it differently the 2nd / 3 rd time around by choice? Any advice
I was all on my own with no help. DH only has 36 to 48 hours a week that he is home due to his work schedule. So I had to be basically a single mom not by choice. His work doesn’t offer any kind of parental leave either. So he got to be off for the day DD was born and he used some vacation hours on other days here and there. It wasn’t so terrible. But cleaning and cooking were a giant pain in the rear. So if you won’t have someone home to help you, make sure you have plenty of easy meals available for PP and try to make sure the house is as clean as possible prior to when you go into the hospital so you won’t have to worry so much about it after you have given birth.
Question - when you had your 1st did your spouse take time off or did u have a family member stay with you (eg: mom) for the 1st few weeks? Did you find it helpful (physically/emotionally) did/will you do it differently the 2nd / 3 rd time around by choice? Any advice
Our daughter came two weeks early and the same day my husband was supposed to write a final exam . He had to write two exams two days later so my mom stayed with me in the hospital. He didn’t take any time off work either and my mom stayed for 2 weeks (except weekends when mH was home ) I LOVED having my moms help (we are super close) but honestly I feel like MH had trouble bonding with DD. Im not sure if it’s started yet but the Canadian government is implementing a 6 week program where the second parent can take up to 6 weeks off when a baby is born in addition to the year the first parent gets . I’m really hoping is starts before feb. because MH will definitely be taking the time off and if not he will take at least a week or two vacation.
@canadianmom89 I’m Canadian too. I live in Guelph ON. It would be great if my husbamd could take paid time off but it all depends on how much that time off pays. My employer has a 6 week top up so it wouldn’t be terrible it the time my hubby gets off was at a reduced pay. Are you planning to take 12 month maternity leave or 18 months? I’m a 1st time mom & I think I’ll do 12 unless I’m having multiples - then 18 for sure.
Question to all - when did (or when will you) tell your older child(ren) about the baby?
I have an 8 yr old step daughter (been in her life since she was an infant). I’m not sure when to tell her. I’m thinking not under 11 or 12 weeks when I start to show & it’s ok for her not to keep it a secret.
Also any cute stories on how you told your older kids?
@elliecele17 - DD was 2 when DS was born and she didn't get it until he was born. This time she will get it from the beginning so we're trying to figure out when and how to tell her. Either when we see a good HB or at my NT scan (when she can see the baby and it actually LOOKS like a baby).
An 8 year old might know what an ultrasound is and it could be as simple as giving her the picture - I've seen a lot of people with "older" kids do that.
@elliecele17 I think it’s the same as maternity leave pay 55% . I’m not exactly sure when the program starts I just saw a press conference a few months back where Trudeau was talking about it.
Im only taking 12 months.... personally I feel like 18 months is too long away from my job and I would get rusty and the drastic pay cut would suck. I only work 24 hours a week though. Right now I do 3 days a week but DD will be starting jr. primary when I’m off and I can’t get a daycare spot part time for an infant under 18 months so I think I will work 5 days a week from 9-1 so I won’t have to pay for care for DD .
DH took 4 weeks and that was the right amount for us. My MIL lives in town and she came by a lot at the beginning to bring us groceries or help DH with the cleaning. We were both in so much shock that we definitely needed the help. My mother just retired and I want my parents to come down for a month after the birth just to watch DS. The first few weeks of DS’s life were so overwhelming, I’m scared about doing it with a toddler.
@elliecele17 We told our kids when we were ready for everyone to know, so the end of the 1st trimester, but they were only 2 and 4. Now my oldest DD is 6 and old enough to notice that I'm sick all the time, so we might need to tell her sooner. I guess this didn't really answer your question, since I'm wondering the same thing ☺
** possible TW ** STM, if you’re comfortable can u talk about spotting.
it's normal. Unless you've had a loss, I wouldn't worry too much. I've had a few friends that spotted through their entire pregnancy, carried to term and had healthy babies. If you are concerned or worried, call your doctor. Brown and pink is ok, bright red and gushing/clots is not. I would say, if it's getting on your underpants or you need to wear a pad, call the doctor.
Question to all - when did (or when will you) tell your older child(ren) about the baby?
I have an 8 yr old step daughter (been in her life since she was an infant). I’m not sure when to tell her. I’m thinking not under 11 or 12 weeks when I start to show & it’s ok for her not to keep it a secret.
Also any cute stories on how you told your older kids?
I tell my kids (6,4,1) when I’m ready for the rest of the world to know. We joke a lot about our six year olds big mouth. Anyone that gives him the time of day, he’ll tell you all our information. Names, ages, address, phone number... of mommy has a baby in her belly... lol that kid can’t keep a secret!
Ok, question. Playpen or crib? I plan to room share for the first year. I have a bassinet to use when the baby is little. I haven’t looked at play pens for years but to me it looks uncomfortable to sleep in. What do you guys think?
Re: Ask a STM
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
@ruby696 the Daddy shirt in the bassinet idea is precious.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
Rougher terrain like gravel, grass, outdoors (or for jogging)= you will want to go with the three wheeled style
We have a BOB and we love it! But I also live in the country and our parks have gravel or mulch walkways.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
it differently the 2nd / 3 rd time around by choice? Any advice
Just set realistic expectations. You don’t know what you will want or need. As helpful as it may be, people may get in the way and frustrate you. I just wouldn’t make any decisions yet.
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
Other than him, I wouldn’t haven’t wanted someone else around all the time. Depends on your relationship with your mom or whoever would be helping, but I wanted to get a routine establish somewhat quick. I also BF and didn’t want an audience for it so I didn’t want people around full time.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
Im not sure if it’s started yet but the Canadian government is implementing a 6 week program where the second parent can take up to 6 weeks off when a baby is born in addition to the year the first parent gets . I’m really hoping is starts before feb. because MH will definitely be taking the time off and if not he will take at least a week or two vacation.
I have an 8 yr old step daughter (been in her life since she was an infant). I’m not sure when to tell her. I’m thinking not under 11 or 12 weeks when I start to show & it’s ok for her not to keep it a secret.
Also any cute stories on how you told your older kids?
An 8 year old might know what an ultrasound is and it could be as simple as giving her the picture - I've seen a lot of people with "older" kids do that.
BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019
Im only taking 12 months.... personally I feel like 18 months is too long away from my job and I would get rusty and the drastic pay cut would suck. I only work 24 hours a week though. Right now I do 3 days a week but DD will be starting jr. primary when I’m off and I can’t get a daycare spot part time for an infant under 18 months so I think I will work 5 days a week from 9-1 so I won’t have to pay for care for DD .
STM, if you’re comfortable can u talk about spotting.
Married: 6/2016
TTC:6/2016
BFP: 11/22/2016 | EDD: 7/29/2017
ETA - half my post disappeared!
I bled with all my pregnancies. Including this one as of this morning... The language I like is “bleeding in pregnancy is common but not normal.”
If your nervous, call your OB or MW and ask if yu can have a beta drawn or, if you’re past 6 weeks, an ultrasound for a heartbeat.