When should I find out sex of baby?

snreynolds91

I'm 13 weeks along right now with my first child. My next ultrasound with my doctor to determine sex is 20 weeks, but I'm not sure I want to wait that long. I've thought about doing an at home blood test called Sneak Peek and there is another ultrasound clinic in town where I can go and pay to get one done earlier. However, I've heard that Sneak Peek isn't always accurate (they at least refund you your money if the test is wrong) and my sister in law says that the sex organs aren't completely developed until 18 weeks. I know once I find out, I'm gonna go crazy with the clothes shopping. I just don't want to go buy things and then having to return them. What should I do?

AGK2015

I mean, if you want absolute certainty, you'll have to wait until baby comes out; even ultrasound is limited in its accuracy. 

katy0990

I would just wait, there is no urgent reason to have to know early, so if you are worried about the accuracy of the results, don’t spend the money.

trucksntutus

Indeed -- not even the best ultrasound is 100%, they're educated guesses. I know a lot of women on here have gotten blood tests done for other medical reasons and also determined the sex that way, or via the sneak peek. I'm waiting though til my 20 week scan, I don't feel like wasting the money when I'm going to find out one way or the other then. 

coco2787

I'm not sure anyone can answer this question for you, it's kind of a personal decision.  

hoosiermama-2

Many of us here have opted for NIPT testing. I'm not sure how accurate sex results are from NIPT testing, but they were correct for DD. My doctor's office uses Harmony. Peep the Genetics Testing Results thread. 

tunnel

I would either get NIPT/genetic blood testing done or wait until 20 weeks when those organs are more developed to get an ultrasound.  It's an unnecessary mind f*ck to get excited about your baby's sex and then find out that's actually the other sex.  

AdorkablePixie

I'll be waiting until my anatomy scan at 18 weeks unless something abnormal on my NT scan shows and I have to have NIPT.

echo-charlietango

+1 for “that’s a personal decision”

DH and I are not finding out until LO is born because biological sex doesn’t matter to us. I hope our sonographer doesn’t forget our preference during the anatomy scan. 

Jens_Hoes

@echo-charlietango I plan on announcing it whenever I have an appointment, that I don't know and don't want to know!

echo-charlietango

@Jens_Hoes Exactly! A friend told me that everybody likes reinforcing the sex, so I’m also prepared to start each appt with “I’m doing great and don’t want to know the sex!” Or “How are you - I DON’T WANT TO KNOW THE SEX”

runrinserepeat

FWIW @echo-charlietango and @Jens_Hoes it wasn't as big an ordeal when we didn't find out last time as that. I was clear at the beginning of the anomaly scan that I didn't want to know, and the sonographer was respectful and told me when to look away. I think my doctor asked once or twice if I knew, but I'm not even sure she had it in her notes that he was a boy. The only other time was when I was in labor they did an u/s to make sure he was head down, and I told them a million times that we weren't ready to find out yet, HAHA. I was convinced that they'd accidentally show us the goods and ruin the surprise we'd waited 9 months for. 

Jens_Hoes

@runrinserepeat @echo-charlietango
My SIL was team green for all three of her pregnancies and it was ruined twice.  First time the DR said oh can you see her face there, and I'm not sure how it got ruined the second time. I am so worried it will get ruined for me!

runrinserepeat

That's so crazy. I don't think my doctor pulled up any of the a/s pics with me, ever. OK I take it back! Tell them every time all the time! 

AGK2015

For what it's worth, both pregnancies now at two different offices, once the sex was in my chart, every single person I dealt with (nurses, doctors, everybody) started off by asking "So, do you know what you're having?" I did, both times, and last pregnancy they even noted the name we were going to give in our daughter in my chart, but they asked every time anyway, just in case. They're all old pros at this, so hopefully no spoiled surprises for anyone  

EloiseWeenieSkipperdee

I didn't find out with my 6 and 9 year old, and am not finding out this time. With my other pregnancies, I was always asked if I knew/wanted to know. Some providers prefer to use he/she instead of it, so don't look too much into which one they choose to use during that appointment. During ultrasounds, we were told to look away if we didn't want to know the sex.

The only little slip was when my OB was about to pull my daughter out (c-section). She was breech, and had to move her around a little bit, and accidentally let a "her" slip a few seconds before he pulled her out. My H and looked at each other excitedly, and then they held her up and H told me it was a girl. I wasn't disappointed. 

tunnel

echo-charlietango said:

+1 for “that’s a personal decision”

DH and I are not finding out until LO is born because biological sex doesn’t matter to us. I hope our sonographer doesn’t forget our preference during the anatomy scan. 

Biological sex doesn't matter to me either, but I'm still going to find out the baby's sex when that information is available to me.  I don't think you meant this a dig to those of us finding out since you acknowledged that it's a personal decision.

echo-charlietango

@tunnel Oh, no dig intended. Just saying that it's not important to us.