FTM Check-in • 5/22

echo-charlietango

(I knew we were missing something yesterday!)

How far along are you?

Estimate your level of first trimester misery on a scale of 1 - 100.

Rants/Raves/Questions/Dear Diary? 

GTKY: Baby showers. Are you looking forward to one? Why or why not?

echo-charlietango

How far along are you?
11 weeks today (prime lime time!)

Estimate your level of first trimester misery on a scale of 1 - 100.
15% with B6 and antihistamines, 80% without.

Rants/Raves/Questions/Dear Diary? 
I miss loving coffee. Of all of the changes, my coffee aversion was the most unexpected. 

GTKY: Baby showers. Are you looking forward to one? Why or why not?
I think I'm alone in loathing baby showers. The games creep me out and I avoid being the center of attention (any longer than five minutes). I've told DH many times that if anyone tries to throw me one, he needs to tell them that I will walk away. Birthing away from established friends & family should mitigate this... FX

hkom

How far along are you?
12 weeks and 1 day!  The size of a hard boiled egg

Estimate your level of first trimester misery on a scale of 1 - 100.
Maybe in the 20-30 range.  Weeks 6-8 were probably around 80 though.   

Rants/Raves/Questions/Dear Diary? 
Right now I'm just annoyed with being so clumsy and forgetful/spacey all the time.  I'm also in a weird space where I just want everyone to know, but I hate announcing news to people.  I like talking about being pregnant, but the surprise factor of it is just not me.  I have one more person that I will tell face-to-face, who I will see tonight, and I just can't wait to get it over with.

GTKY: Baby showers. Are you looking forward to one? Why or why not?
Meh.  I'm not a huge fan of them but I will probably end up having one, although I'm still really on the fence about it.  I hate that type of attention as well.  I will probably do what I did with my reluctant wedding shower and plan it myself, so I can control what goes on.  I also will probably ask people not to wrap gifts, so I don't have to sit in front of everyone and open stuff.

kadeephd

How far along are you?

Edit: turns out I am, 11 weeks, 5 days.

Estimate your level of first trimester misery on a scale of 1 - 100.

20.  I'm mostly just tired these days and have trouble focusing.  Sleep also sucks, but that's not abnormal for me.

Rants/Raves/Questions/Dear Diary?

Rave:  I just got paid $100 to sit in a room for three hours with one kid who was making up an AP exam at my old school.  I spent much of it on the bump.  I should have been working, but I thought the typing noise might bother him.  I'm sad I won't be able to pick up extra cash like this once baby arrives though.

GTKY: Baby showers. Are you looking forward to one? Why or why not?

@echo-charlietango You are not alone.  I also dislike showers and the idea of having one makes me uncomfortable.  I also don't like being the center of attention and I don't really like getting gifts. I have a lot of anxiety around accumulating too much stuff (maybe because I move constantly).  I didn't have a bridal shower because I didn't want one.  I had also been living on my own for years at that point and didn't really need the starter stuff that bridal showers were originally intended to provide.  I have 0 baby things though, so I think I'll probably have a shower this time.  My SIL and BIL did a really low key shower that wasn't even really a shower, just basically a party at their house with both men and women.  They had a one fun quiz in which they asked sciencey questions (they are both scientists) and we created an impromptu trophy out of a prize I won on a cruise once.  I don't think she registered for anything and she asked for used stuff if anything.  That sounds more my speed, but I'm not sure I can get away with it since my family lives pretty far.

mag1cbeli3ver

How far along are you?
12 weeks 4 days

Estimate your level of first trimester misery on a scale of 1 - 100.
Probably around 25%! And not from normal pregnancy symptoms like nausea/MS/food aversions. Mostly from annoying symptoms like constipation, increased facial hair (yuck! really! i hate it...) and exhaustion. On the plus, my boobs are bigger, so that's fun! But not much boob pain, so I really consider myself lucky. Now, if I could only get my anxiety under control...

Rants/Raves/Questions/Dear Diary? 
I want to have a baby bump, already! I know it's still a little early for a FTM, but I'm so excited to get to that point! I feel my belly every day and I *think* I can feel the uterus just above my pelvic bone. But I definitely haven't popped yet. Hence, no pic in HDBD! I think next week I'll go for it, no matter what!

GTKY: Baby showers. Are you looking forward to one? Why or why not?
This is a yes and no for me. I think one w/friends, and DH and his friends, like a big party, would be super fun! I think the atmosphere would be more laid back and DH would get to share the spotlight w/me, which would be awesome! I am not really looking forward to a traditional baby shower w/family mostly b/c (1) my MIL will insist on holding it some place fancy and nowhere near my house (like she did for bridal shower) and she will invite a bunch random people she knows that I've never met; (2) like @echo-charlietango I really don't like being the center of attention and I HATE most of the games! (I mean, melted candy bars in baby diapers that look like poop - not my cup of tea!)

echo-charlietango

@hkom Oh, I like the non-wrapped gifts idea. I've always dreaded the stares when everybody watches someone unwrap something...staring without blinking...looking for those telltale micro expressions of immediate love/hate.

@kadeephd Nice cash opp! Also I like your SIL's shower, I also like low key parties without old wive's tales!

@mag1cbeli3ver I agree that DH should share the spotlight if one must be shone, after all, it takes two (or three or four depending on donor eggs/sperm!). Chocolate poop is just wrong. Who comes up with these things, and who are the folks who think they're funny/cute? Pregnant belly cakes creep me the F out. "Let's slice this sweet representation of my pregnant self so we can all indulge in pretend cannibalism"

hkom

@echo-charlietango My future SIL just did that at her wedding shower and it was such a relief not to have to watch someone open boxes of dishes and towels.  Especially because she had like like 50 people there and it would have taken h o u r s 

morgantu

@echo-charlietango i don't know why, but prime lime time cracked me up. and I have been seriously looking forward to this week. it's the first one that seems actually big!

@hkom I am so with you about wanting everyone to know but hating to announce. That's why I'm super torn about if i want to do a social media announcement or not. get it out of the way all at once.... but ugh. 

@kadeephd i am working so many random ass jobs to try to save up money before december! I have no idea what I'm going to do when I'm not working like 60 hrs/week. That AP test proctoring sounds like a sweet gig though

@mag1cbeli3ver Lol, i definitely don't have a bump, but i still did hbdb. That's not a bump, just my regular belly. But i thought it would be good for posterity, it's my first pic of this pregnancy. So jump in whenever! But i also am convinced i can feel my ute. I'm pretty sure i'm making it up, though.

 
How far along are you?
10w 6d will be happy to get to 11 weeks tomorrow! Feels like a big one. 

Estimate your level of first trimester misery on a scale of 1 - 100.
Now, like 10. I am tired in the evening but my nausea is pretty much gone and I'm feeling loads more human. If you would have asked me last week or 2 weeks ago it would have been like 65 cause I felt like crap, but i know some people have it WAYYYY worse. 

Rants/Raves/Questions/Dear Diary? 
Not too much that I haven't put in other threads today. Ready for my US on friday and vacay next week! Really ready to get into 2nd tri- is that at 12 weeks or 13? i know it's not really important, but i guess that 12th week is considered that last week of 1st tri? I'm just eager to get into it! And +1 to the people who are ready to look pg. 

GTKY: Baby showers. Are you looking forward to one? Why or why not?
Also team Mixed feelings on this. Not real keen on the big hurrah, but have zero baby stuff and wouldn't mind the help. I think a display shower is a great idea and i friend of mine isn't even having one but her sister sent out her registry because all friends and family are spread out. I do have a theory though- if nobody had baby showers and we saved all the money we spend over the years buying stuff for other people's babies, we could just afford our own children. That hasn't caught on, apparently. 

tumbleweed-1

How far along are you?
9 weeks! 

Estimate your level of first trimester misery on a scale of 1 - 100.
23. I get super hangry when I don’t eat and for the last few days I’ve been a tiny bit queasy after I do eat, so I can’t win. No real nausea though. Anxiety went way down after I saw the heartbeat on Monday.  

Rants/Raves/Questions/Dear Diary? 
Not really, here’s another picture of my cat: (I’m just going to make it a thing where I force cat pics on the world when I don’t have anything else to say) 

GTKY: Baby showers. Are you looking forward to one? Why or why not?
I’m looking forward to it. We’re having the first grand baby on SO’s side (not counting his adult step sisters’ kids from his mom remarrying a couple years ago), and the first grandbaby on my father’s side too. I know everyone else is looking forward to getting us things and meeting baby. My sisters are already calling the baby “Casper” because the u/s photo looks like Casper the friendly ghost, according to them. Also lots of my family members are very crafting- sewing, drawing, crochet, a bit of woodworking, etc and I’m curious what things people will make for us. 

We won’t have a very traditional baby shower. More of a coed get together that happens to involve baby gifts and me being pregnant. I need all the baby gear, so fine by me. I also want people to place bets on hair color, birth date, height/weight etc. 

k_m10

How far along are you?  8 + 3, according to Monday’s US.

Estimate your level of first trimester misery on a scale of 1 - 100.  
Probably a 60. And that’s mostly the spotting anxiety. My MS has been okay the past few days - it was miserable over the weekend.

Rants/Raves/Questions/Dear Diary? 
I’m just going to be a nervous Nelly until my next appointment in about 2 weeks.

GTKY: Baby showers. Are you looking forward to one? Why or why not?
I’m really not sure. I may have one here but I don’t know a ton of people around here (a friend offered to host). My family is out of state, but I don’t know a ton of people there either. I’m waiting to tell them in person. So they’ll be small.

hkom

@k_m10 I hope your spotting has stopped or stops soon!  I had it for a week or two right around where you are (8-9 weeks) and it totally freaked me out and I was sooo miserable, but it ended up being nothing!

k_m10

Thanks @hkom. Luckily it looks like it stopped last night so just 2 days. I’m just trying to take it easy. I cancelled our mini trip for this weekend to the beach - I didn’t want to be nauseous on a car ride, and with this going on I just want to stay home.
I’m obviously a FTM and that was just the worst feeling. But seeing baby and hearing the HB was such a relief, especially since baby caught up a few days on growth. I touched base with my OB today and they told me they didn’t even check my HCG or progesterone because everything looked fine. So that’s good I guess.
I know the placenta is taking over soon, and sometimes that can cause a bit of spotting, apparently. I wonder if that was it.

nurse_good

How far along are you?
10 weeks today-- little strawberry!

Estimate your level of first trimester misery on a scale of 1 - 100.
It hasn't been too bad until about a week ago and I've been nauseous pretty much all day everyday, so right now I'd say about 70/100.

Rants/Raves/Questions/Dear Diary? 
I am SO looking forward to/anxious about getting back my genetic testing results.  

GTKY: Baby showers. Are you looking forward to one? Why or why not?

I am really looking forward to having a baby shower.  This will be the first baby on my side of the family, so I know my mom and sisters are excited about everything baby!

ab_canada

How far along are you?
12w 4d

Estimate your level of first trimester misery on a scale of 1 - 100.
Meh, 15%. I had about 3 weeks when I was tired and had awful acne but I don't consider those to be anything major. I'm very happy I didn't get sick at any point.

Rants/Raves/Questions/Dear Diary? 
Rant re MIL
we posted a Facebook picture as a way of announcing our pregnancy to friends. Well, not even a half hour later, she posted her own post, using our picture, and added the EDD, which I specifically excluded from my post because I don't want to be pestered every day for a month until the baby arrives.
Anyway, I asked her to change the EDD to just December and she did, so that's fine. But it still rubs me the wrong way that she couldn't even let us enjoy the moment with our friends and had to let aaall her friends and acquaintances know.. I don't know these people and really don't want people she met once in Europe somewhere to know that I'm pregnant, you know? I think we will need to set some boundaries for later. I'm already hesitant about any pictures of me while pregnant, because I highly doubt I will want to remember this "magical" time.. and there better be no pictures of me in a hospital gown after labor. Seriously not ok.

GTKY: Baby showers. Are you looking forward to one? Why or why not?
not really looking forward to it because of the center of attention thing, but I thought the same thing about my wedding shower and that was surprisingly pleasant. My family isn't from this country, so we hardly have anyone to invite and it ends up being my DH's family. I do okay if he is with me, but for these things it's traditionally women, so I feel all alone and exposed. However, I know it's all family and they are all very excited, so I think I will just suck it up for a few hours.

whitneyb89

How far along are you?
11 weeks 5 days

Estimate your level of first trimester misery on a scale of 1 - 100.
Probably 10-20. Surprisingly, the first trimester hasn't been that bad to me. 

Rants/Raves/Questions/Dear Diary? 
So, I don't know if it's normal or not, but I haven't been as excited as I thought I would be. I don't know if it's been because of my nerves of fearing for the worst or what. But, I haven't sat around thinking of baby names (I figured I would wait until I knew the gender) or done much at all to prepare for an addition to the family. I'm hoping as time passes, I will start to get more excited. Maybe it just doesn't feel real yet?

GTKY: Baby showers. Are you looking forward to one? Why or why not
Definitely looking forward to a baby shower! I have always enjoyed baby showers. I love seeing all the baby stuff! My sister jumped right onto planning a shower for me as soon as she found out I was pregnant, lol. Already have a date set and all. 

echo-charlietango

@ab_canada

There is definitely a generational social media gap. We see it as telling our circle. Our Baby Boomer parents see it as “THE NEWS IS OUT, TELL EVERYBODY OMGWTFBBQ!!1”

I ask my mom all of the time to not put whatever on Facebook. At first she was a little taken aback (because she wants to help share with the universe), but I explained things like “If you announce that we’re in another country, it is clear that our house is probably ripe for robbing” and then we explained how DH’s job comes with sensitive information and we know we’re being watched...so that’s why we’re so selective about internet things. 

She’s better now, just sucks that I had to explain how good intentions can be damaging. Moms. 

ab_canada

@echo-charlietango
Thanks, I think you are right. And I know I can't really stop her from posting things like this, so I will just have to be very clear about the specific things I wouldn't want shared. I'm sure she will understand. It just caught me off guard this time..

ab_canada

@whitneyb89
I definitely know how you feel. I sort of bounce around between excited, terrified and forgetting that I'm pregnant. I was excited to share the news with our friends but it suddenly made it more real and now I've been mostly terrified 

echo-charlietango

@ab_canada Yeah, sadly I post less often *because* I know my mom will put everything on blast. I’ll admit that we’re drifting apart, and I know it’s because I’ve tightened up internet disclosures and we both hate talking on the phone. Meh. 

scaredunprepared

@tumbleweed-1 I fully support the adorable kitty pics!  Keep em coming

@k_m10 I am also hardcore anxious the last few days over bright red, significant spotting that is legit scaring the shit out of me!  I am glad I'm not alone, but still so upset and stressed we have to go through this. 



How far along are you? 9 weeks, 2 days

Estimate your level of first trimester misery on a scale of 1 - 100.   Honestly probably only between a 4-10.  I feel like I've lucked out, other than pure exhaustion, sore boobs, and constipation/ bloat/ heartburn.  Which worries me itself, because I feel like I should feel more "pregnant"  if that makes sense.  But if you include the anxiety over spotting the last few days, probably around a 60.  Doc doesn't seem worried though, so I guess that's good?  

Rants/Raves/Questions/Dear Diary?  I am kind of loving being pregnant in many ways, but feel like I'm so worried (about spotting and other's potential reactions to the news) I can't enjoy it.  And at times I'm having a very hard time accepting the changes to my body. I worked my ass off to lose 35lbs before getting pregnant, so accepting my boat (and eventually baby bump) is very difficult. At the moment I'm feeling disgusted with myself and disappointed that my belly is so much bigger already i JUST got rid of so much of it. 

GTKY: Baby showers. Are you looking forward to one? Why or why not?  I am looking forward to a shower, but I want it to be low key and inclusive of everyone, with no dumb games. Just a backyard (or barnyard) BBQ.  That's my style.  But I wouldn't object if my girls wanted to throw a mini shower at a tea house!  (Trying to relax and think positive about the future).

mag1cbeli3ver

@scaredunprepared and @k_m10 I'm sorry you're having spotting! Like @k_m10 said, it could just be from your placenta taking over. Hopefully it will go away soon and you'll have more peace of mind!

And @scaredunprepared I feel your pain w/the bloat and baby bump gain! I also lost a good amount of weight before getting pregnant (which my RE said is prob what helped us finally get pregnant). But now, it's all coming back! I really just don't want to gain a lot of weight during pregnancy and then not be able to get it off again afterwards. On the positive side, I still have most of my old clothes which are already a size or 2 too big, so I guess they'll help me go without maternity clothes for a little while! Luckily, my OB is in agreement that we're aiming for 15-20 lbs total of weight gain for pregnancy!

@ab_canada I hope your MIL can come to respect your Facebook boundaries for posting things! I have to admit that when my SIL was pregnant with her first (the first grandchild on our side and her side), I was pretty bad with Facebook. Mostly during L&D itself! I remember posting that she was in labor and having friends and family following along asking for updates. Thinking back on it now, I would be horrified if someone did that for my pregnancy!! I don't even want to post anything until it's all over and baby and I have recovered a little. I feel so bad and I've already apologized to her. She didn't seem to think it was a big deal, but I can't believe I acted like that!

ab_canada

@mag1cbeli3ver
Haha, yes, no live updates during L&D!