December 2018 Moms

Crazy Judgement From Others

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Re: Crazy Judgement From Others

  • @mamaalicie I am sorry that you do not get unwavering support. If you are taking care of them, then it’s no one else’s business.
  • A couple people have asked if it was an accident. Our son is 5 1/2 and I think everyone thought we were done. I don’t know why it offends me, but it does. And so what if it was an accident? What does that change? And, I’m sorry, why is it any of your damn business if this baby was planned or unplanned?
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  • @kchiquita20 shockingly I've had some coworkers ask if this was a surprise or not, I didn't really expect those comments this time around. My son is just over 2 years, and while he was a surprise, I don't think these specific coworkers knew that. I don't remember if I had any of those comments with DS honestly.
    DS1 born 2/28/16
    DS2 due 12/12/18

  • @cecilb93 I was asked that by coworkers last time too. Not ones I was close to either! I was so taken aback. That is no one’s business at all. Ruuuuude. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @kchiquita20 I’m waiting for those comments too, as my youngest are 6. So far only one person has asked and it was someone I barely knew. I don’t understand why anyone cares, either way baby is coming! I was done forever, then the youngest went to kindergarten, my best friend had a baby and the baby fever began! 
  • I am already judged for the amount of kids I have. I’m sure we’ll hear it even more this time. My SIL loves to post passive aggressive comments on Facebook every Christmas about how much Christmas gifts cost her. All the while she doesn’t acknowledge our adopted child... because she’s cruel. 

    I get judge for a hell of a lot more things with our lifestyle and care not at all. I’m confident in our choices and the life we’ve made. I feel zero shame for bringing another life into this world.
    I am so sorry to hear that. I hope she realizes how messed up it is to not acknowledge a child based on a situation that is probably out of her control. Hope it gets easier.

  • A non-offensive thing is that when we announced, a few people were SO surprised & most didn't see it coming. DS will be 2 around the time we are due... why is that shocking?

    On the flip side, SIL has been waiting for about 6 months for an announcement & it gets a little ridiculous how much length she'll go to try to find out other people's business. She was tempted to sniff my beer to see if there was water in it a few weeks ago. Well, YES THERE WAS, but what would you do with that information, tell everyone yourself? Give yourself a little gold metal for figuring it out?
    Married: 6/6/14
    DS: 12/20/16
    EDD: 11/29/18
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @temmetime Your SIL sounds over the top. That is crazy that she would go so far as to sniff your beer.
  • I’m incredibly worried how people will react to me being pregnant. I have an 18 year old and a two year old. My husband and I met late in life. I’m an only child and I raised my daughter as an only child as I was a single mother by every definition. Now I’m 37 and just getting started but the reaction I’ve recieved so far are offers to drive me to the local abortion clinic. (Two separate offers from three people I’ve told so far) I’m a really great mom, the mom other moms call when they’re struggling. If I want my son to have a sibling close in age and my husband and I do well for ourselves and provide a very loving home how can anyone judge us? Don’t offer to drive anyone to a clinic. SO AWFUL


  • @temmetime- my mom's sisters do the same weird things as your SIL trying to figure out if any of us are pregnant. It's a blessing I'm not in the same country as them because I know they would have figured it out by now (I usually never turn down a glass of wine). What is it with people needing to know before you're ready to tell them!?
  • @jessiestg1980 Are you serious?! That is incredibly rude! I can't even believe people think it would be okay to say something like that unless it was clear you didn't want to go through with the pregnancy!

    @temmetime Wow, she sounds a little crazy. lol

    @CecilB93 Same. I didn't get the surprise question but the "was this planned" question. At the time we had been married for 4.5 years, Umm YES this was planned. It was more than planned. We had fertility treatments to get our first miracle. Why do people think it's okay to ask stuff like that? If we want to offer than information, we will.

    Me: 31

    DH: 29, SA - Great

    Married: June 12,2011

    TTC #1: 1/2014

    Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea

    Treatment: Clomid:  50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored

                      Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI  IUI #1 8/31/2015

    9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!
    Heartbeat 10/2/2015: 118bpm
    DS: 5/27/2016

    TTC# 2: 12/2017
    BFP: 4/20/2018
    EDD: 12/29/2018
  • It's just so odd. Like...wait a long time between kids, you get the accident question. Have them close together, same question. Is there some sort of a perfect time period that people expect? Ugh.

    I haven't really had any judgment, but I'm a SAHM who doesn't really get out much :joy::bawling: Before we conceived this one my MIL kept telling us that her doctor (like ages ago with her own kids) told her it wasn't ideal to introduce a sibling sooner than 24 months, because the second year of their lives is so negative, but she hasn't said a word about our spacing (23 months, so not that off) since we actually got pregnant.
    Me: 31 | DH: 31
    Together since 2003 | Married 2010
    TTC #1 January 2016
    BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
    Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017

    TTC#2 March 2018
    BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
  • @jessiestg1980 I am so sorry that people offered to take you to a clinic. That is awful and insensitive!
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