I know that everybody likes to be very strong women and insistent that pregnancy is not a disability. I agree to a certain extent, however, I will sit down if offered a seat. To take it further, if I am heavily pregnant and a young man does not offer his seat, I will side eye. If a young person runs to grab the seat I am wobbling towards, I will say something.
I know that everybody likes to be very strong women and insistent that pregnancy is not a disability. I agree to a certain extent, however, I will sit down if offered a seat. To take it further, if I am heavily pregnant and a young man does not offer his seat, I will side eye. If a young person runs to grab the seat I am wobbling towards, I will say something.
I'm not for sure if this is a UO or not... but in the last week I have developed a thin layer of hair over my stomach and I'm in no rush to shave it. It's always seemed like I was hairier than most women. I can not go without shaving my legs or under arms for more two days or the hair will take over. I also started getting a fuzzy face when I was about 12 and I was told to save it. It's not as hairy as a man's face, but I've also had to shave it about every two days. It's just kind of weird that now my stomach is starting to follow along after all this time.
@smsaulino I’m pretty sure that is a pregnancy symptom. I am not a very hairy person and most of my body hair is blonde and hard to see, but I can see my belly getting a little hairier. Hopefully it will go away after the baby comes?!
@smsaulino and @klj0228 yes definitely a pregnancy symptom! I develop a nice layer of fuzz over my stomach while pregnant too, I can't remember when it goes away, but my hair is light colored so it's not noticeable.
@BostonBaby1 my UO/vent is that I HATE when women with easy pregnancies tell anyone and everyone that pregnancy isn't a disability and that they can still do xyz and if they can, then everyone else can do it too if they just stopped whining or sucked it up or whatever and to stop using pregnancy as an excuse to be lazy. F-YOU! Congrat-u-fucking-lations that your body does that for you. For some of us, pregnancy IS a freaking diasability and literally, as in actually for realz, attempts to kill us and sometimes does permanent damage to our bodies. I ESPECIALLY HATE like with a firey passion HATE when women (or men) WHO HAVE NEVER FREAKING BEEN PREGNANT say that shit. Hate it. I go into instant rage mode. Thanks for shaming me for surviving a traumatic thing that you haven't experienced and can't imagine what it's actually like. But thanks for the judgement, thanks.
@stothi Amen! I haven’t had the worst pregnancies. I enjoy the process overall but I have had some extremely uncomfortable health issues and it’s NOT easy.
* Also, I just stood up and gave my chair to an elderly woman walking with a cane. Because politeness.
@BostonBaby1 and @stothi I hear you. I do my best to keep active, and I'm lucky that I don't have serious health concerns or major puking problems...but if I do too much I end up with early babies, and even if I don't, my SPD leaves me borderline disabled in third trimester-like considering asking for a parking permit-which I would only use at Walmart or Costco or somewhere else with a huge lot that is currently mostly full. And mine never fully healed after my son- I'm permanently affected. But, I still don't feel like I'm "sick" so if I choose to do something, please don't look at me like I'm crazy. Maybe I want to go to a concert or camping, OK?
So maybe just stop acting like we're all disabled or all super humans?
My UO: not sure if this is actually unpopular, but it really irks me that sedans don't really work for families anymore-we just don't fit.
eta for auto correct, and one sentence for clarity.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Agree with all this and +1 to hairy belly. Mine did go away last time but now it’s back! Just in time for summer!
On the flip side, I also hate when people tell me I’m “overdoing myself”. I know my pregnant body and what I’m capable of. I have horrid SPD/pelvic girdle pain, but I know that if I baby myself too much and don’t move around to some extent, I’ll feel worse. I’ll stop doing stuff if I know I’m not able to handle it. But don’t tell me my walk around the block is overdoing myself if I want to go! (DH is guilty of this.)
@pourmeamocktail I can totally expand my statement to include that I get upset in general when people try to tell other people what they are or aren't capable of doing. Like, how do you know? Are you their doctor? Have you assessed them? Done a physical? Know their history? I dislike being told to take it easy or avoid certain activities just because I'm pregnant. When I'm fine, I'm fine. Believe it or not being pregnant had not rendered me incapable of making decisions for myself. Unless you are my doctor don't tell me what to do!
So additional rant- I hate when I see pictures, videos, whatever of elite level athletes doing their sport while pregnant with a caption that says, "so what's your excuse?" Um... Maybe the fact that I'm not an elite level athlete? That I couldn't do what they are doing even if I wasn't pregnant? I'm proud when I manage to get my chores done. Don't rain on my parade!
YES to all of the above about telling woman how they should feel and what they're capable/not capable of. The other day I had someone insinuate that i had to use the elevator to go up one flight of stairs. Ummm I can take the stairs... it's not a big deal.
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married Aug. 2013 TTC #1 Sep. 2016 ***TW***
BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF. BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
I hate the terminology of "Team Green", "Team Pink", "Team Blue". HATE IT. I know it's not meant in a bad way, but I always just want to scream "girls can wear blue! and boys can wear pink! and there's absolutely no reason for gender-neutral toys, like Legos, to be made pink "for girls"". ARGH. Regular legos are for girls as much as they are for boys--same as trucks and cars and tools! There does not need to be 2 versions of every toy.
And "Team Green"--in my world "green" means environmentally friendly. It was far too long before I realized "Team Green" wasn't all about cloth diapering and acquiring used baby items to save the environment.
@MandyMost my son’s favorite color is pink. It’s so hard to find things for him that aren’t super girly. Drives me crazy.
My son's favorite colors are blue, purple and pink. His favorite toys are cars, trains, helicopters and planes. It's definitely hard to find clothes and bedding and things that really fit all his favorites.
@MandyMost I had to explain to someone the other day what team green meant. They rolled their eyes so hard, lol. I was all, don't look at me! I didn't come up with it!
@stothi I agree with you, but especially on this part: ". I ESPECIALLY HATE like with a fiery passion HATE when women (or men) WHO HAVE NEVER FREAKING BEEN PREGNANT say that shit. Hate it. I go into instant rage mode. Thanks for shaming me for surviving a traumatic thing that you haven't experienced and can't imagine what it's actually like. But thanks for the judgement, thanks."
I have quite a few friends who have either decided having kids isn't for them and one who it isn't an option for her. Valid choice and zero judgement on my part. However, I cannot stand it when they tell me what I should or should not being doing, or even better, how I should look or feel.
I had to have a conversation with my best friend to please stop comparing me to other pregnant people she knows. Every pregnancy is different, everyone will show at different times, everyone will gain a different amount of weight, stop comparing!!! Also, please stop looking online to give me advice.
@lisac113 omg, the internet article advice! No! I don't want it. I have a doctor. An actual living person in possession of a medical degree who has seen me, examined me, run tests- all the things. I will be asking them my medical questions and following their advice. If I have questions for Google I'll look those up myself. I can't stand when well meaning friends and family take up internet doctoring as a hobby. If you really want to help me and need a new hobby, learn to bake and bring me some cookies.
Lol... Laughing because although I agree with the conceptual idea of not being told to take it easy, it doesn’t bother me because it almost never happens aside from my sweet and thoughtful loved ones who know when I need to.
This is my first pregnancy so maybe it will get older with time, but I thought it was totally sweet that my family “babied” me a bit when I went home this week. My 85 year old grandfather refused to let me help him with anything in the yard, even after I told him I still go to the gym and lift weights.
@BostonBaby1 and @dexnie I only get told to take it easy by people who aren't going to do the work for me. I think that's the part that bugs me. I would probably enjoy it if they took over my responsibilities so I could just relax.
@klj0228 I don't talk to my bump, I also think it's weird. I also found it hard to constantly talk to a baby. I'm not a big talker to begin with so maybe that's it. I was worried I wasn't talking enough but DD has picked up on stuff just fine
@klj0228 Me too!!!! I can’t wait to read to the baby and talk to the baby, but I am super awkward about talking to the bump. I do keep trying to communicate with him using telepathy...like he is in my body, so can’t he read my mind?
I totally talk to my bump! My husband gets so confused cause I call him baby, I call our son baby and I call the fetus baby. So when I randomly start chatting, "hi baby. What's going on," no one knows who I'm talking to.
Haha @stothi My husband and I also call each other “baby” and also refer to the baby as “baby”. It’s gets me confused when I try to text him and I say “Baby, blah blah blah something about the baby” and those baby emoji’s pop up at every mention of “baby”!
I totally call DS baby, so does my H. I haven't talked to my bump too much yet, but I'm pretty sure when I do I'll start with "hi baby girl". This in turn might be confusing for my older female dog since I call her baby girl lol. I talked to my bump a lot during my first pregnancy, so I probably will start again soon.
I talk to my bump a little. I've been trying out her name and telling her how much I love her and can't wait to meet her. I also tell her what I'm eating sometimes. "This is called salmon, baby. What do you think?"
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married Aug. 2013 TTC #1 Sep. 2016 ***TW***
BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF. BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
Maybe this is just me complaining and not an UO but here it is. It kills me on the inside when parents make empty threats, and usually if they do this it's on the regular. "If you don't eat more dinner then you won't get any cake" of course the kid will get cake! It's a birthday party! Stop lying! Even if you intended to follow through with it, Grandma is here and she will feed your kid cake!
I think I do desserts kinda weird though. When we have a dessert with dinner I serve everything on my kid's plate at the same time. He can totally choose to eat dessert first. He just doesn't get more until he eats the other foods on his plate. I've just known too many kids who don't eat enough dinner or get into a dinner battle because they can't have dessert until they finish their dinner, so they slam down a minimum amount of food and are "all done" so they can get to dessert (and wind up hungry later) or get mad and refuse to eat dinner at all and have a meltdown. I've found that buddy is more inclined to eat a wide variety of things and in good quantities, if we let him go in the order he wants at the pace he wants. We try really hard around here that food is for eating to give you energy and nutrition, so eat it or don't, only each person knows when and how much they need to eat. We don't use food as a reward or withhold it as a punishment. Healthy foods buddy can have as much as he wants, anytime he wants. Snacks, candies, treats he can request any time but only gets 1-2 psuedo healthy snacks (processed pre packaged bar or fruit snack type things) a day and only one candy/treat. So those things are limited but still under his control.
@Starla That is so cute. I like that you talk to the baby about the food you are eating and sharing with her. That's a good idea for me to maybe start talking to the bump with. I also feel the urge to talk to the baby/bump about music we hear. That's what I have mostly been using telepathy for. I'm rarely alone so I'm extra self-conscious!
@stothi interesting strategy! We don't do dessert with DD on a regular basis. Usually we will eat ice cream an hour or two after dinner and she is in bed. If we are at a party I make a plate for DD and don't stress about what does/doesn't get eaten.
These empty threats I speak of are all sorts of things "Santa won't give you presents, we will go home if you don't behave, we won't open birthday presents, and the ever famous counting to three with nothing happening after"
@EErin86 i count the three a lot, but DS has ignored it enough to know that he is going to be very unhappy if I make it to three. It’s resulted in a lot of tantrums, but now when I start counting he usually does what he’s supposed to (like 75% which I think is pretty good for 2). It’s so easy to make empty threats, but it just makes life harder once they figure out you’re a pushover
@nackie Haha, counting to three is fine if you actually do something at three besides sigh and ask your child to do the thing you already asked and then start counting again
@EErin86 we don't do desserts on a regular basis either. We do have a piece of chocolate as a family at some point almost every day though. There's quite the ritual around picking out one piece for everyone.
I count to three a lot and Mr. Smarty Pants either complies or takes it as an opportunity to show me how high he can count now. Lol. Our threats are not empty most of the time though. We leave if they’re not behaving. Who am I kidding... They are often empty.
@BostonBaby1 it’s so hard to follow through! I occasionally cave, especially if it’s bedtime related and I know the tantrum will delay things even more, but that’s pretty unusual for me. I haven’t had to do it in public though since DS still likes to show off and be good for new people. I might have a hard time following through on behave or we’re leaving type threats.
I definitely don’t talk to my baby as much as I “should”. Like...I feel my normal social anxiety and I get nervous. I make bad jokes and say awkward things to him.
DH is so cute, sometimes he’ll get close to my belly and say “I love you”, and I’ll say “I love you too!” And he’ll say “I wasn’t talking to you!” Haha
@BostonBaby1 DD does the same thing! Sometimes she gets a huge smile at “two” and starts counting loudly. Takes all the effort in the world not to laugh.
Re: UO Thursday 5/10
So, I now sport a dark brown "happy trail". It used to go up to my belly button but it's now going up past my belly button It also spread out a bit.
I've told DH that if we have a 3rd, I'd end up with a dusting of chest hair.
Oh and don't get me started on "granny hairs" on my neck, jaw, and cheeks.
I started getting facial hair in high school? I never shaved, just plucked the particularly dark hairs.
* Also, I just stood up and gave my chair to an elderly woman walking with a cane. Because politeness.
So maybe just stop acting like we're all disabled or all super humans?
My UO: not sure if this is actually unpopular, but it really irks me that sedans don't really work for families anymore-we just don't fit.
eta for auto correct, and one sentence for clarity.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
On the flip side, I also hate when people tell me I’m “overdoing myself”. I know my pregnant body and what I’m capable of. I have horrid SPD/pelvic girdle pain, but I know that if I baby myself too much and don’t move around to some extent, I’ll feel worse. I’ll stop doing stuff if I know I’m not able to handle it. But don’t tell me my walk around the block is overdoing myself if I want to go! (DH is guilty of this.)
So additional rant- I hate when I see pictures, videos, whatever of elite level athletes doing their sport while pregnant with a caption that says, "so what's your excuse?" Um... Maybe the fact that I'm not an elite level athlete? That I couldn't do what they are doing even if I wasn't pregnant?
I'm proud when I manage to get my chores done. Don't rain on my parade!
Married Aug. 2013
TTC #1 Sep. 2016
***TW***
BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
And "Team Green"--in my world "green" means environmentally friendly. It was far too long before I realized "Team Green" wasn't all about cloth diapering and acquiring used baby items to save the environment.
I have quite a few friends who have either decided having kids isn't for them and one who it isn't an option for her. Valid choice and zero judgement on my part. However, I cannot stand it when they tell me what I should or should not being doing, or even better, how I should look or feel.
I had to have a conversation with my best friend to please stop comparing me to other pregnant people she knows. Every pregnancy is different, everyone will show at different times, everyone will gain a different amount of weight, stop comparing!!! Also, please stop looking online to give me advice.
my UO I feel really strange talking to my bump. I don’t know why, but it feels so strange.
Married Aug. 2013
TTC #1 Sep. 2016
***TW***
BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
I think I do desserts kinda weird though. When we have a dessert with dinner I serve everything on my kid's plate at the same time. He can totally choose to eat dessert first. He just doesn't get more until he eats the other foods on his plate. I've just known too many kids who don't eat enough dinner or get into a dinner battle because they can't have dessert until they finish their dinner, so they slam down a minimum amount of food and are "all done" so they can get to dessert (and wind up hungry later) or get mad and refuse to eat dinner at all and have a meltdown. I've found that buddy is more inclined to eat a wide variety of things and in good quantities, if we let him go in the order he wants at the pace he wants. We try really hard around here that food is for eating to give you energy and nutrition, so eat it or don't, only each person knows when and how much they need to eat. We don't use food as a reward or withhold it as a punishment. Healthy foods buddy can have as much as he wants, anytime he wants. Snacks, candies, treats he can request any time but only gets 1-2 psuedo healthy snacks (processed pre packaged bar or fruit snack type things) a day and only one candy/treat. So those things are limited but still under his control.
These empty threats I speak of are all sorts of things "Santa won't give you presents, we will go home if you don't behave, we won't open birthday presents, and the ever famous counting to three with nothing happening after"
DH is so cute, sometimes he’ll get close to my belly and say “I love you”, and I’ll say “I love you too!” And he’ll say “I wasn’t talking to you!” Haha