I know that this is such a small thing to worry about compared to the thousand things I should and could be worrying about but I’m frustrated over this baby shower.
I don’t believe in the idea that someone else needs to throw my shower for me. I like to be in control. I like to design and plan. I am not going to force someone else to shell out thousands of dollars to throw me a party. So my husband I are hosting our own. Just like we will pay for and host our own wedding.
Nobody in our friends and family group has a space large enough to accommodate a baby shower and we don’t feel comfortable asking someone to give up their home anyway. So we are booking a venue.
So far, the venues we have heard from require you use their caterer. Fine. Whatever. What I DID NOT KNOW is that these caterers won’t just make whatever you want for your menu. They have pre-set menus that you have to select from. And I can’t quite wrap my head around the idea of spending $1000+ for a venue and $1000+ for catering to not have exactly the food I want.
I am reasonably content making all of the food myself if I were allowed. I just need to find a way to cook all of the food fresh and in time. Thankfully, most of what I want I can make ahead of time and store. But supposedly I’m not allowed to do that at these venues and now I’m very frustrated.
Has anyone experienced this either with their shower or wedding?
Not looking for negativity and judgment. Just understanding and solutions!
Re: Baby Shower Catering
Personal advice from someone who did a nice wedding with independent caterer, it sounds like you are still planning a wedding. Focus on the wedding. Skip the baby shower. It's extra stress, people will give you gifts anyway, and everyone will prefer/remember your wedding over the shower.
You also get to avoid any ettiquette breaches of throwing your own shower.
If you go to an all inclusive venue though, they are almost always going to follow their own menu and have you pick what you want off of it.
For the sake of answering the question, though, I'm going to go ahead and agree with @Bringmemylongswordho. This all sounds pretty normal to me, particularly choosing from the caterer's pre-existing menu, which is what I did for my wedding.
Maybe check into a community center, church banquet hall, park pavilion, or similar place that's more likely to let you bring your own food?
Save the thousands of dollars for purchasing your own baby stuff. You could probably buy everything you need for baby for less money than what you were quoted for a venue/food. When I had my baby shower, I maybe got $1000 worth of gifts. You probably won’t get a good return on your investment. Skip it.
And also, be prepared for the same issue with catering and venues should you choose to have your wedding at one.
Usually a shower is a couple hours long. You MAY have some finger foods. Really, a cake and some other sweat treats and drinks is PLENTY.
Why not rent a conference room in a hotel and bring cookies etc instead of a full meal? Often the exception to catering contract is not a meal and rather cookies, cakes etc. which is perfectly acceptable (and often preferred) for a shower.