TTCAL week of 4/23

dpjennifer

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: Post of pic/GIF of one of your favorite tv/movie crushes:

dpjennifer

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Unexplained RPL. 4 MC.

Status: CD 1 I believe. Waiting for AF to start, but with HUGE temp dip this morning and spotting off/on all day yesterday I figure it will be today.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? My stupid stupid work scheduled Take Your Brats to Work Day on Thursday this week. So I'm staying home for that crap. Of course, realized this morning that it's smack dab in the middle of National Infertility Awareness Week. So, kinda irritated about that. 

On the bright side... as of this weekend, I am now officially down 10 lbs!    Only 13 more to go so my RE will back the h*ll off and give me Clomid!

GTKY: Post of pic/GIF of one of your favorite tv/movie crushes:

galactickates

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Ectopic at 9 weeks left tube removed

Status: tww

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Not good.  Better but this weekend was pretty upsetting. I already talked about it in the previous ttcal so I'm not going to relive it again.  But this shows how your heart rate is affected by stress. Yesterday I built a patio with H. I walked over 16k steps and burned 3.3k calories. I'm dead tired.  My body is hurting. 

Saturday I was in a limo went to vineyards and what should have been a totally relaxing day was a nightmare of totally insensitive comments. I walked 5000 steps but burned 3700 calories. That was all stress. It makes me really sad to know I not only had mental stress but I was putting my body through stress as well. It was pretty eye opening. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

No yet

GTKY: Post of pic/GIF of one of your favorite tv/movie crushes:

@dpjennifer - I love Harrison so I'm going to keep the love fest going. 




Ps.  @dpjennifer congrats on losing weight.  That's amazing 

cassafrass15

@dpjennifer Hooray on being down 10lbs! I still think being required to lose weight to take clomid is bullshit, but I also know how good it feels to shed some lbs and make progress toward a goal. And I totally feel ya on take-your-childebeasts-to-work day. Thank goodness my job is doing it on a Saturday so I can easily avoid. 

@galactickates I meant to comment on the other thread, but I’m so sorry you had such a traumatic experience at the bachelorette party. Tone-deaf, wannabe do-gooders are the WORST kind of people. I’m glad that it sounds like building the patio was somewhat cathartic for you.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 4 early losses, endo dx and otherwise unexplained RPL

Status: Benched post-D&C

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are going ok. *TW I took a HPT on Saturday and I apparently still have HCG lingering in my system almost 3 weeks post-D&C. End TW* So that’s frustrating. I just want to get the show on the road so we can start trying again. Or at least so we can figure out our next step.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Waiting on the pathology from the D&C. 

GTKY: Post of pic/GIF of one of your favoritetv/movie crushes: 

dpjennifer

cassafrass15 I am just thankful I scrimped and saved as much leave as I have so I can easily take a mental health day whenever! Makes for a more relaxing week for me! 

galactickates Oh God... I LOVE Harrison!  He was my first on-screen boyfriend/lover/etc. I don't care how old he is, I still love him!

prpl11butterfly

Status: I think TWW. Suspect O was yesterday so now just need confirmation from FF.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Well it looks like we are in the official spring (not 1 of our 5 fake ones). Its making me feel good to have sunshine all the time. My bosses shower was over the weekend and I couldn't go. I tried but broke down and just couldn't. Talked to her this morning and she was so understanding. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? nothing

GTKY: Post of pic/GIF of one of your favorite tv/movie crushes:

Hollyl321

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

MMC 2/12 MMC molar pregnancy 8/17

Status: wto, waiting to see if benched this cycle too.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

I have been really down lately.  Not just baby (or lack there of) just life in general.  I was pretty confident I did not O, but I got my period when I was supposed too, which was a really short cycle. 
DH and I aren't exactly on the same page when it comes to trying right now, which sucks.  He is willing to do whatever, but I want it to not just be willing, but I want him to want this as much as I do.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Not TTC related.

GTKY: Post of pic/GIF of one of your favorite tv/movie crushes:
Really, it would be Han Solo, but @dpjennifer, got to it first, so I switched it up!

holly321

I was stuck in the box,.. @dpjennifer, thatha great about the weigh loss! Keep up the good work. I am sorry about taking your child to work day, I hope you enjoy your day off and are able to do something for yourself! How are the puppies?
 @galactickates, I just saw your pic, lol, we all have good taste.
 (Side note , my cats are named  Indy, and Han, and the cat I stole from my parents is nicknamed Dr. Richard Kimble)

Also, when I came back to the bump over a year ago, it would not let me use my old login for about a month, eventually it let me.  I deleted the app last week, since it was not working, and apparently logged in under my other name on my phone....

galactickates

So speaking of stuck in the box... I figured out its better if you add the spoilers after your pictures or text. I was adding the spoiler first and then adding photos.  No need!  Type what you want, click on your picture,  text, whatever,  hit spoiler and it will only spoiler what's selected.  

nmbrcrnchr1

@dpjennifer what kind of industry do you work in? I’m not triggered by kids but I would still be taking a personal day if my work did that...soundsblike a frustrating day! Glad you have personal time!
@galactickates sorry for the crappy weekend, it aucks but I feel like for those people who’ve never been thru a loss or struggled with fertility just don’t get it! I’m “fortunate” that unfortunately a few of my close girlfriends have/are struggling so people don’t make comments like that. I know there’s a time and a place but i feel like people need to be educated when these types of comments are made. I’m sure I was guilty of making them in the past on another note...have you shared photos of this patio?? I’ve been lurking but maybe I missed it! Nice workout
@cassafrass15 it took my body a month to get back down to 0 after my surgery/d & c, is your doctor doing betas or just relying on HPT. I know how frustrating it can be on the bench!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 1 loss at 6/7w ectopic pregnancy resulting in right tube removal in late February 

Status: still benched this has been a long month!

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things TTC are ok, being benched sucks but I feel it’s less stressful so mentally I’m ok. My job has also helped keep my mind off of things. I typically work 8-9 hour days Mon-Fri, I’m transitioning to a new role so currently doing two jobs, I’ve been working 12+ hour days and on the weekends. Management just doesn’t get how much time these requests they keep making take and it’s so frustrating. My DH is pissed, I’m pissed, and I need more sleep than 4-5 hours a night. RAVE - I go on vacation next week!!! So I obviously cannot wait for that.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope, nadda

GTKY: too many to choose from right now, maybe I’ll come back and update when I can decide

dpjennifer

nmbrcrnchr1 I work for the govt. Which is a super fantastic place to work right now in this climate. It's like, amazingly uplifting ::sarcasm:: So thankfully our benefits are great as far as time off goes, and since I'd been saving my time off to have a baby (cause that's worked out so well), I can easily blow some time here and there. 

galactickates

@nmbrcrnchr1 - hey  I was just thinking of you,  I'm glad to see a post from you.  I know you've been busy.  Your job sounds exhausting. I hope you have fun on vacation.  How long are you going for and where?  I hope it's somewhere sunny! 

Our backyard transformation before and after pictures:

After:


The Corner where our pond and shed are
Before

After


Back Corner of yard Before:

After:

Were building our fire pit tonight and gazebo gets built  this weekend.  
The Gazebo we picked in spoiler

lin0442

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 2 losses- 13wk, 5wk in 2 years. Waiting on diagnosis. No living children. 

Status: TWW, 12dpo. BFN last night.  

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I’m in test limbo AGAIN. My MRI and hysteroscopy conflicted, so my RE wants to perform another hysteroscopy before they book me for surgery for -maybe- a small uterine septum before starting a drug regimen/IUI. 

I’m really struggling this month. I want answers or a plan or success or something, and I’m scared of surgery because it’s not like I’ve had great luck these past two years. I’m scared this will never happen and I’m so angry that it’s been such a frustrating road. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Hysteroscopy on May 4. This will certainly guide what my summer is like. 

GTKY: Post of pic/GIF of one of your favorite tv/movie crushes: Mobile bump isn’t great for this I used to love Wesley in the Princess Bride, though!! So witty and dashing. 

sparklingdiamond

How are things going? A bit rough.  My due date with her is next Tuesday, May 1.  So that is weighing heavy on me.  

What is something that you are struggling with this week?   The above comment.  Also, that my cycle still isn't regulating or doing anything and I am 6 weeks PP.  But since I haven't even ovulated, I definitely won't be getting my cycle back until after 8 weeks for sure.  I just want to be able to try again.

What is going well for you this week?  I have been doing great on my diet and doing my yoga.

R/R? My rant is just my stupid cycle.

 Any testing coming up/any recent results? No

nmbrcrnchr1

@galactickates oh my gosh, your yard looks amazing!!! You put me and my H to shame, we’ve been in our house for almost 5 years and besides a small perennial garden I planted (and neglect every year) we’ve done nothing  
we are going somewhere warm, Arizona, so I’m pretty excited to sit by the pool and sip fruity drinks for a week! 

galactickates

@lin0442 - LT is obviously a hug, I'm really sorry you are at the two year mark and no LO to show for it.  I don't even know what to say.  That's just so incredibly shitty. I really hope your surgery goes well and this puts you a step closer to making your dream a reality.  I'm here for you if you need anything.  

lin0442

@galactickates Thanks. That yard looks fantastic, by the way! You guys must have put in a ton of work. 

@sparklingdiamond I’m so sorry. All I can hope is that the week passes quickly for you. I can’t imagine. 

@dpjennifer Sorry the gov’t work climate is so garbage right now (ugh really sorry). Congrats on the weight loss, though! That’s such a tough fight when there’s already a lot of stress in life, it’s great that you’re making progress. 

@nmbrcrnchr1 My goodness that’s a lot of work! Enjoy your well-earned vacation!

CraftyG

@dpjennifer congrats on the weight loss that’s amazing!

@galactickates That eve just sounds like an absolute ducking nightmare and I’m so sorry that that happened on what was supposed to be a calm and care free celebration. Also It’s pretty cool that you got proof of how this affects your body, so many people just dismiss the fact that stress puts a huge physical strain on you

@cassafrass15 I think it took my body around 4 weeks before it stopped giving out positives, so it should be sooner rather than later

@prpl11butterfly  Good for you for recognising your limits and not going to the shower, I’m really pleased that your boss was so understanding about it.

@nmbrcrnchr1  that sounds absolutely disgusting thank god you get a week off, hope it’s full of relaxation it sounds like you need it

@lin0442  Oh Hun all of the hugs for you, I’m so sorry that you’re having such a shitty time if there’s anything we can do we’re all here for you, everything that you’re feeling is completely valid

@sparklingdiamond  Try and take yourself the best you can the next coming weeks, easier said that done I know. My due dates coming up too so I know how hard it can be, have you got anything special planned for self care at all?

sparklingdiamond

@CraftyG I am sorry about your due date coming up as well   I haven't planned anything specifically, but probably should!  What about you?

cassafrass15

@nmbrcrnchr1 Yea, we are doing betas. I have an appointment tomorrow, so hopefully this is it. I’m sorry work has been so shitty, but I hope you have a fabulous vacay! Also, I’m in AZ so if you need recommendations PM me. It’s going to be perfect poolside weather next week!

@galactickates Um, your yard looks so inviting! Well done. And the pond looks particularly relaxing - I love the babbling brook sound they make.

@lin0442 I’m so sorry you’re feeling bad. FX the hysteroscopy gives you some definitive answers and a path forward. I’m also in a weird limbo, so I feel you.

AFM, my best work friend just told me she’s pregnant with her second. She also said they BDed only once this cycle. So I’ve been sobbing quietly in my office with the door closed. I don’t want her to feel bad, and I’m happy for her, but I am so sad at the same time. I just keep thinking that will never be me. It will never be easy and it will never be simply joyful. Ugh.

lin0442

@cassafrass15 What’s up, quietly-sobbing-at-desk buddy? Man, I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I totally understand those worries, and the hurt at other people’s total lack of those worries. It’s so tough to deal with those emotions when you just want to be joyful for someone. 

cassafrass15

@lin0442 I’m glad I’m not alone in occasionally losing my shit at work. I feel like a broken record because I just posted about my cousin’s loss and my shameful feelings, and now I’m posting about my friend’s joy and my shameful feelings. I just have a lot of shameful feelings, apparently. But you’re right, it’s tough being in this situation while navigating wanting to be happy for someone and wanting to throat punch them because it isn’t fair. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

CraftyG

number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Loss at 13 weeks Jan 16, loss at 9 weeks Oct 17

Status: WTO CD 12

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Rant- My due date is coming up in the next few weeks and it hit me how close it was the other day, just little things like the clothes I’m wearing remind me of how big I’d be right now. Just being a general grumpy bitch but Fi has got a boys weekend coming up so I don’t want to remind him so that he’ll be worried about me and sad while he’s supposed to be out having fun. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? NADA

GTKY: Post of pic/GIF of one of your favorite tv/movie crushes: I am in love with this sexy son of a bitch

jrm_14

@cassafrass15 Add me to the water works at work group. Today alone, I cried three times. One of those was during a team meeting in front of my boss   I share a thin wall w/ ultrasound at work. Sobs are pretty much a daily thing. 
Shame is a tough thing to wrestle. Everything you have said is completely relatable & understandable, especially given what you are going through. ❤️

nmbrcrnchr1

+1 for crying at work today. Not TTC related directly (TW*** although this am my H told me his coworker’s wife was KU and due in Oct...I was due in Oct so that didn’t get my day started we’ll end TW***) but I had probably the worst/most stressful day at work that I can remember. I’m trying to get everything before my vacation and after today I realized I will prob be working at least part of it! 

im sorry so many others had rough days as well, my love it’s are hugs to you all! 

galactickates

::raises hand:: Also a member of the CAW club. For some reason though it makes me even sadder to know you guys do too.

CraftyG

@sparklingdiamond Thank you, it may not be the healthiest but more than likely it will end up in a duvet day with wine and movies haha

@cassafrass15 I’m so sorry Hun, I know that they’re not nice feelings but they’re valid feelings to have. It’s like you’re happy for her but just sad for yourself.

im glad to know I’m not the only one who cries at work but I’m sad and really sorry that you guys all do too

CraftyG

aels12

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

I was on the October 18 birth month board, I had a MMC and d&c a couple of weeks ago. 

Status: benched, waiting to get my period back after my d&c

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Slowly trying to get back to normal.. things are going okay. I’m still eating my feelings but trying to scale that back to normal healthy eating and hopefully will get back to working out soon. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Follow up appt Monday to make sure everything looks good 

GTKY: Post of pic/GIF of one of your favorite tv/movie crushes: