Intro and Panic Rant

rcultrona

Hello ladies! I'm 36 and 5 weeks along with #2. DH and I are not emphatic people. I was never the super boisterous pregnant girl, in fact I second guess every single decision I make. Usually this is fine (I mean you order the wrong lunch salad or buy the wrong shoes and what's the worst that can happen?), but when it comes to kids it is super frustrating!!! When we had our first it was planned and more of a "you jump, I jump" situation than a crying, hugging "let's make a miracle" one. Obviously it all turned out well because DS is my best buddy but now with #2 those fears are back with a vengeance. Only now it feels worse, I'm 5 years older and overweight (although I eat fairly well and work out, I just heart food) and worried about all the normal things plus the complications that come with age and weight. We couldn't decide one way or the other if we for sure wanted another, literally both pf us were firmly planed on the fence but we decided to go off bc and see what happened. Our life is pretty perfect and I am worried that this decision will ruin everything. The fact that I am cruising pregnancy boards instead of termination clinics tells me deep down under the anxiety and worry I do want this but I just...I actually don't even know what I am looking for, maybe reassurance, maybe people in the same boat, it's too soon to tell anyone so I am sort of spiraling on my own...anyway, hi, nice to meet you all.